Time Stood Still
by Vilvid
Summary: Valeria was just a myth until Erudite found her in a capsule. She stood frozen for over 100 years. Now everything is different and the world she once knew is not the same. She chooses to be Dauntless but coming from the time before the war she catches some unwanted attention not just from Jeanine but from certain Dauntless leader. I write it how I imagine it.
1. The Awakening

_**This is a story with my made up character. I just like them to see what will happen if the characters of this world encounter someone from before the war. And I like the fanfics with Eric so why not, why stop now?**_  
 _ **Of course, all rights are going to Veronica Roth. Except for my Valeria and maybe others in the future.**_  
 _ **So I will stop talking let you read my story ^^**_

There were muffled voices around me, but my body felt so heavy that I couldn't bring myself to open my eyes or move a muscle. Without a second thought, I took a deep breath that field my lungs with the much-needed oxygen. It felt like I haven't done that in a long time. Only God knows how long I have been asleep. My eyelids started to flutter but the white light coming from above was too bright for my eyes to focus.  
It took me a few minutes before my eyes fully focused and I was able to look at my surroundings. I was in a lab. Everything was clean and there were people in blue coats looking at monitors or on their tablets. I started to slightly move my hands and legs and I was happy that I could finally move them.  
The sound of clicking heels made me turn to the direction of the approaching sound, just to see a blond woman above me.

"Valeria, I assume?" her voice was full of power and her eyes were looking at me curiously like I was some kind of lab experiment. And maybe I was just that. Considering that the capsule worked and I was in the future, for them to find something extraordinary like a human being in a capsule, was down fall a scientific breakthrough.

I sat up but my head felt dizzy from the sudden movement. The blond woman was still beside me, observing every move I make. I was actually very surprised that she was not taking notes. I held my head with my right-hand fighting the dizziness.

"You assumed right and you are?" I asked finally able to lift my head up to meet the woman.

"My name is Jeanine Matthews the leader of Erudite" she introduced herself but I didn't understand what she was saying. I looked around the lab for something that would probably tell me what year was it. To answer my questions of how long was I asleep. But there was no windows or calendars. I didn't like the feeling of relying on this woman to tell me everything I need to know. Something in my gut was telling me that I need to keep her in mind. The look on her face was something else but not friendly, but she makes a good job of hiding herself behind a fake friendly mask.

"I have so many questions."

"I will be happy to answer them. I just need some blood for testing before we can go to my office so we can talk" her voice was calm and somehow lying to you so she could gain your trust. But I wasn't fooled. I was very aware that I couldn't deny her drawing blood from me. If I deny that would surely make her more suspicious than she was now.

One thing was for sure. I needed answers and she looked smart enough to answer all of them. But I wasn't sure what would be the cost of her answering everything. How did she know my name? I didn't like the feeling one bit, but I tried to play along with her and make her think I was cooperating just enough until I find the basics.

"Sure" I simply answered and pulled out my right hand. I was good at playing roles. For some reason, I have the feeling she knew about me and that gave her the upper hand. I could play dumb and naïve until I have enough information. And as I suspected she seemed very pleased that I didn't protest about the blood. One of her lab minions came toward me with such an awe in his eyes that made me frown. He was gentle with the needle and when he got enough blood he went back to his station. "What do you need blood for?" I asked Jeanine who was still standing close to me like I was going to make a run for it.

"Just some testing. You do understand that we found you in a capsule witch by the looks of it was made before the war. We haven't had something like you here, so this gives us the opportunity to understand you better" she smiled with her fake smile. I smiled back, but I was totally not okay for her to understand me better. I started to shift and with some struggle and the soft supporting hand of Jeanine I was on my own two feet. And God I forgot how to use those. It was definitely a bad idea to wear heals when then put me here. Who would have thought that I was going to have a problem walking?

"I assume the slumber made your muscles a little bit weak, try walking around a little bit and we can make our way to my office" If I knew better she actually looked sincere and caring. But nothing good could come from a leader and she looked quite smart. I nodded and started to walk. At first, my steps were uneasy and I lost my balance quickly, but then my steps became more stable. Just for a few minutes, I was able to walk like I have been always walking, with grace, even with the heels.

The walk to her office was very strange. The corridors were long and everything here was blue. Everyone wore blue clothes and was the only black spot here. I looked uncomfortably at my dark purple top, black skirt and black short boots with heels, that echoed through the hallways. The looks that people were giving me was quite unpleasant and for the first time in my life, I felt so out of place.

"There are five factions. We are the smart ones. We dedicate our lives to knowledge and science. Every faction has its color, we wear blue. People are looking at you strangely because you look way too much like you are a part of other faction. They are called Dauntless. They, on the other hand, are brave and fearless. They are responsible for our security. As you might have guessed they wear black and have tattoos, like you." I was walking a few feet behind her and that made her turn her head slightly back just to see my reaction. Before I was able to ask her about the other factions we were at her office.  
She took her seat on her desk and motion for me to sit on one of the chairs in front of her desk. I politely obligated, trying very hard not to look around with hungry eyes. Her whole office was full of books and my hands were itching to touch and look what kind of books she has.

"And the others?" I countinued the previous conversation.

"There is Abnegation, which are selfless, they prefer helping others and are in charge of our Government. There is Amity. They are peaceful and hard working people. They produce our food. Condor, they value honesty and are responsible for our law and order. That it's the short version. I'm sure you have a lot of questions and I'll be happy to answer them, but I need some answers in return"

As I knew she wanted something from me too. It was no need for me to second think my choices. I knew I had to give her some information in order to receive, but I was not going to fall for her charms and friendly smile. She was making me feeling comfortable in order to make me spill my guts out. I smiled at her. Maybe she was able to see right through me as I was able to see right through her, but there was nothing bad at me trying to look friendly.

"Okay, first: How do you know my name?"

She smiled to herself and her eyes wondered on her bookshelves that were all up against the walls.

"I know your name because I had read about you when I was a child" she simple answer leaving me with my mouth hung open.

"I made it as a children's book?" she let out a small laugh.

"You made it as a myth until we found you in the capsule. You see there are stories about people before the war that could know things that others don't know and your kind are very know for making a lot of things out of herbs that heal or even make people ill. It always fascinated me how those recipes were passed on from generations and were used for good and for bad." Something I didn't like in her fascination. She looked smart enough to know just what she wanted and right now I got the feeling that it would not only be me, but it would be also and the recipes. I could only imagine this kind of knowledge in her hands and just the thought of that made shivers run down my spine.

If I was that far in the future and science was evolved I didn't want to think what could they do with my knowledge of things. And how I could help them to expand their not only knowledge but the science too.  
I tried my best to look natural like I haven't just figure out her master plan. I knew she would try to manipulate me in order to obtain the information she needed, but I wasn't ready to give it up just like that. I had nothing to lose.

"So how long I slept? What year is it?"

"It's 2146" For the second time my mouth flew open and my eyes widened.

"What?!"

"By the looks on your face and how the capsule looked, I would say that you were put into it just before the war started? Also, it's fascinating how the capsule worked. I'd never seen something so complicated yet simple like this." she asked, but she didn't need to ask. She already knew the answer to her question just from deducting.

"Yes the rumors started and they put me into the capsule so I could survive. I didn't think I would make it so far" I looked at my hands. That was a lot of years that I had missed. The world around me was probably not the same as it used to be and that somehow scared me a little bit. How was I suppose to fit in now, in this new society? "Look I have a lot of questions and it looks like your faction would have the biggest library there is. So what am I asking is full access to it, in order for me to understand what happened after the war." I felt like I have asked too much of her and I knew it would bite me in the ass afterward. I thought I wouldn't need her for answers and I wouldn't tie myself to her in any kind of way. But here I was relying on her to provide me information and without a doubt, there would be a price for it.

She seemed very into her thought but then she turned her head to me and her eyes focused on mine she wasn't playing nice anymore.  
"Here is the deal. You need your place in our society. I don't need you running around and be above the law. We make a testing for each 16 years old in order to see in which faction they belong to. But I guess I could give you a choice. But choose wisely because there would be no second chance. If you decide to join us you would have full access to the library and I'm sure with your knowledge you would be very useful here. But if you chose something else I'm afraid that I can't let you go around and research. You see, here you can be just one thing. You can't be Abnegation and be knowledge hungry. You can't be brave and peaceful too. So if you choose one you stick with the one" the warm smile and friendly face were gone. Now she looked intimidated like hell. Her voice was cold and made me shiver.  
The society was nothing like it was before. And now I had to make a choice of either getting stuck with the smart asses just to learn what happened to the world or go somewhere else where it might be better than here, but never know what happened.  
I'm also risking what I know to fall in her hands. I was sure that if I choose to be here, she would squeeze everything I know from me and use it as she felt fit.

"There is always the chance of you not passing the initiation of the current fraction you choose and you might end up factionless. You see they are the poor, homeless and hungry once. So I would advise you to choose wisely. But I couldn't image what it's like to wake up after all those years and not know what happened to the world"

With every word she spoke, I didn't like her more. She finally showed her true colors and as I figured she was very manipulative.  
My choices were a lot. One was sure, I cannot stay here. The first thing was that I might be smart, but I could never get that smart. Science was never my strongest subject. And I didn't want to risk everything I know to be in her hands.

I looked at myself. She told me I looked like I was a Dauntless. I needed to pass initiation. If they were the fighters I was sure I could do that. Not that I wasn't trained in the past. My mentor made sure I was able to defend myself as well as help the others that needed help. I looked at my circle tattoo on my right hand, that looked like entwined roses and different kind of herbs and I looked at my left hand where I had the fearless rune tattooed. So silly of me back then, to tattoo myself with something from a book, which probably didn't exist now.

"I want to go to Dauntless" I finally made my decision and looked up at her. She was not happy. I was only hoping that I made the right choice.

"I was sure you would choose Erudite. With the knowledge you possess, I would be happy to have someone like you here." She said with a little mischievous tingle in her eyes.

"Science was never my strongest."

"But you think you can pass Dauntless?" her one brow rose up.

"Yes," I answered confidently. "You were the one to say a looked like them"

"So you're giving up the information that we possess about the world now?" she asked unbelievingly.

"Yes, I am"

She looked at me skeptically but I had put my confident mask on. The game was on and two could play it. I was not going to let her get what she wanted from me. I was sure this was not going to be her last attempt to get the recipes, but at least for now she was defeated. She didn't push it, maybe because she didn't want to look like she was a threat to me. But I knew better.

"Okay, then I will contact the leaders of Dauntless to retrieve you. I would make sure you are legally part of our society without any questions asked"

She took her time talking on the phone. Which was nothing unusual for her, but for me was useful information. So there were still phones, computers, and clocks. I wasn't sure about the internet. But the looks of her office and by the looks of some book titles I read I could see that they were some old books even I had read or seen before.

"One of the leaders is on his way," she said finally putting down the phone.

"How did you know it was me? I'm sure you have read about the others like me."

"Your red hair gave you up and once I saw the tattoo on your right hand I just knew. Were you the only one that they putt up to sleep?" her curiosity was back.

"I was the first one I don't know about others" she nodded, she didn't look convinced but she didn't push the subject further. I was aware of how closely I have to pay attention to her and be careful of what I do and say around her. One wrong move and it might end up bad for me.


	2. The New Begining

_**The characters** **might be a little OOC. But hey I'm trying** **to** **make the** **story** **how I see it so it's bound for someone to be a little OOC. But I will try my best to not be so drastic. Like all of a sudden Eric wears pink! xD Who would love to see that?!**_  
 _ **All rights, of course, are to Veronica Roth  
Enjoy! ^^**_

* * *

After a long conversation with Jeanine, in which, she kept asking questions and I tried my best to answer them with minimum information, there was a knock on her door that interrupted her story telling. She looked intimidating but she kind of relaxed, dare I say and told me more information about the society and how it was built. With was useful information for me.  
Heavy footsteps were heard behind me as the door opened. I had my back to the person and didn't have the courtesy to turn around.

"Eric, come in and sit," said Jeanine with her bossy voice. The heavy footsteps approached the chair next to me and a black figure appeared in my vision.  
He sat down and threw a quick look at me. He was built I might say he looked like a wardrobe compares to me. His hair was blond and it was short on the side, leaving the long part up top. His face had piercings: two microdermals above his right eyebrow, a lip ring on his left side and even his ears were pierced. His silvery eyes were burning holes in me. He was dressed all in black and tattoos could be seen on his hands and one that went up to his neck. Yep, I was definitely going to fit in there.  
He kept his eyes on me studying me and then his attention went to Jeanine.

"She looks like she is one of ours" his voice was strong and cold, just like his gaze. He was so intimidating but it didn't make me shrink into my seat and wanting to disappear. I had my fair share of people like him. My mentor once was cold and strict and he had his reasons. The man next to me was a leader which was a total understanding for his gaze and attitude. After all, you want to make people respect you.

"As I said on the phone with Max we found her in a capsule just outside the city. I don't want this to be a big deal. I want you to get her to Dauntless, let her pass her initiation and become a full member. I want her part of our society. In the records, it would say that she is Dauntless born."

"People would see that they don't know her"

"People might have read stories about her, even you. They would eventually know her, but for the time being just lay low" this time this was directed at me. I nodded. Eric, on the other hand, looked kind of bored or more like pissed.

"So you want for us to get he through initiation alone. How old are you even?" now his piercing eyes were on me.

"nineteen. And I assure you that I'm very capable of fighting and weapons too" I said confidently and smiled at him. He didn't look amused and quickly looked away. But my smile never left my face. I love to irritate people, especially people as serious as him.

"So she's three years late"

"I'm sure she would catch up." Jeanine brushed it off. For someone like her, she looked strangely helpful now. I didn't want to think what would she want from me once this was settled.

"Valeria could I have I moment with Eric please?" she asked politely and I started to stand up when I remembered the most important thing.

"My belongings are in the capsule in a lot of boxes could I be able to get them?" I asked quickly.

"We are not with a car now" it was Eric who answered instead of Jeanine. I looked at him and he looked annoyed like he didn't want to tell me stuff that I should probably already know. I tried to stay calm and not jump to conclusions.

"So, when I can come and get them?"

"When I visit Erudite next week I guess" he answered simply. I didn't like the sound of my belongings being here for a whole week. I knew that they couldn't be able to open the storage without me, but I was still not familiar with the level of technology they possess. What if the could be able to open it? They would be able to find all my books and information, which was just the thing that Jeanine wants. But on the other hand, everything was written in language that probably was dead by now. I had to risk once again and I was sure I was not going to be able to take everything with me.

"Fine, don't try to open in. You won't be able to" I said finally and left the office.

* * *

I waited patiently for Eric to finish up the conversation he had with Jeanine. I still didn't feel comfortable with leaving my personal stuff here in a building full of people that would eat everything in there like it was some historical discovery. I only hope that I made the right decision of going into that faction. Of what I understood Amity were peaceful and hardworking farmers and I wasn't sure I had the patience to be there. Condor was out of the question because I like to lie especially when I could benefit from it and I was a very good liar. Abnegation was way more out of the question I didn't even know how they could just abandon themselves in order to help the others and sure I help the others if they need it, that's how I was raised, but doing it constantly- no thank you.

The office door flung open and Eric walked out of it quickly. He walked past me without even looking at me expecting for me to just follow him. I rolled my eyes and jogged a little bit just so I could catch him and keep his pace. The halls were empty and the only sounds that could be heard were his heavy boots and the clicking of my heels on the stone floor.

For the first time since he got out of the office, he looked at me and I could see a little surprise that appeared in his eyes when he saw me next to him, but it was masked quickly. I bet he didn't think I could keep up his pace. His eyes looked down to my feet and a sneer appeared on his face.

"Can you run in those heels?" he asked with mockery in his voice. I lift up one of my brows at him.

"You underestimating me. I could very well run in heels" I said, confident in mine training. Who knew that it would come in handy the training I had. Running in heels. I was actually the one inventing it because girls don't always wear comfortable shoes. And when they don't, they need to know how not to fall and break their noses just because they were wearing a skirt and heels.

"You can run after a train in heels?" he asked again looking at me unbelievably but with a hint of amusement in his voice.

"What, the train doesn't stops?" I almost stopped walking. He chuckled quietly, almost hard for me to hear.

"No, it doesn't stop we catch it when it arrives" I looked concerned, but I had no doubt that would do it.

"What? Backing out already. You choose Dauntless now is time for you to pass initiation. If you can't make it on the train you will be sleeping on the streets" he said with his cold leader voice.

"I can do it!" I said to him just in time when he started to sprint and I followed him without a second thought.

I started to run after him trying very hard to keep up with his pace. It wasn't hard for me to run in heels but his legs made bigger steps than mine and from there came the problem with me catching up with him. But I didn't want to show him that I wasn't able to run in those shoes like I said, so I pushed myself to catch up.

The sound of the train was approaching and reached us faster than I expected. As Eric said- it didn't stop nor slowed down.  
Before I knew it Eric was running along side the train. I mimicked him, running just a few steps behind him. He jumped swiftly, catching the handle at the side of the open door and pulled himself inside. For a second a doubt cross my mind. After all, I had slept for more than 100 years. My muscles needed a warm up before I could walk, what was the chance of them giving up on me if I try to pull myself.

But another part of me refused to give up. I wanted to see what has changed over the years and to be a part of it. So without thinking too much, I made the same steps as Eric did before me. Surprising myself I made it into the train laughing from the adrenaline rush and the crazy thing I just did. Who would have thought I would be running after a train? That feeling in my gut for the first time in so many years told me, I've done something right. If everything from this new life was filled with that feeling- I made the right choice.

I relaxed against the open door and for the first time since we left the building, I was able to see the city. The view before me left me breathless and wordless. It both scared me and fascinated me at the same time. I was scared because everything looked in ruins. The building, some with broken windows or missing parts of the whole building. The streets that were once full of traffic were now empty and abandoned.  
It fascinated me, because of the plantation that grew around the buildings, on the streets. Adding beauty to the torn city. From all of that green that eventually grew could be really seen how many years had passed.

"Wow" I breathed out just when we were passing the once full river, now was just tall grass with a water here and there.

"A lot has changed huh? I can't imagine what was it like back then" I heard Eric voice from behind me.

I turned around tearing my eyes of the buildings and seeing him for the first time since I entered the train. He was leaning on the wall facing the open door. His hands were crossed over his chest making the tattoos on his arms pop out. His face was hard, emotionless but his silver eyes were studying me, trying to figure me out. From his posture, you could see he was a man of power. He was definitely someone you didn't want to mess with.

I was sure that Jeanine had a little chat with him. Catching him up on my crazy story, if he didn't know it by now. She didn't look like someone who wants be left in the dark and she probably ordered him to keep an eye on me. Probably couldn't trust him either. I didn't know how the professional relationship with leaders was. Was she standing on top of him? Was he? Or is everyone equal? All I knew that until I found out what was the deal with the leaders and who was working for who. I couldn't trust anyone. For all I knew, they just wanted information.

"It has"

We stared at each other for a long time. Neither of us giving up on the unannounced staring contest, until his silver eyes focused on something behind me.

"Get ready!" he said, sounding more like an order. Before I could be able to ask him, for what? He was charging and jumped out of the train. Landing on a rooftop.

My eyes widened in shock. Did I need to do that too? But my opportunity was passing and I needed to make a quick decision. So I jumped before I chicken out.  
I landed roughly on the gravel that scraped my bare knees and hands.

"Damn it, stupid skirt" I cursed under my breath and stood up, looking at the damage. There was a tiny bit of blood coming out of my knees, it hurt but it was no biggie. I examine my hands and they were pretty much the same as the knees. "Now I see why you don't wear skirts," I said before I could stop myself.  
I finally slowly looked up, just to see Eric standing at the edge of the roof. With his typical posture- crossed arms on his chest. He seemed annoyed like I was wasting his precious time and unhappy of the commentary I made.

"I don't wear skirts, Noobie" his cold voice full of power made me shiver and let me know that I shouldn't mess with him. But I just couldn't drop it. I loved making people especially people like him laugh or smile at least. It was my life mission. And watching him now with his stone face, I could say that I might take me a while. I let out a small laugh and got closer to him.

"Figure that as much, I don't think you have the legs for it, anyway"

The look on his face was priceless. He looked like he just bit into something sour. He chooses to ignore my comment. Instead, his face turned more serious, if that was even possible and his eyes were burning holes on me. That look scared me and let me know that I just crossed an invisible line and I was one step closer to being dead.

"The only way to enter the compound it's through here," he said and moved away in order for me to take a look. I made a few uneasy steps before looking down. There was this huge hole with no bottom, or at least I couldn't see it. But I wasn't stupid there was something down there, he wouldn't just let me fly to my death.

"So I need to jump?" I asked but I already knew the answer.

"Yes, why are you scared?" he was intimidating me. I didn't like the look on his face, like he was daring me to do it and at the same time he was doubting me.  
I huffed at him and climbed the top. I stood up and made a few steps in a straight line.

Considering that I was in heels and kept my balance so easily, he should give me bonus points.  
I looked down and then at him. He was still looking with his stone expression. A soft wind blew my long red hair and made me slightly shiver just when he spoke with annoyance.

"I don't have all day, Noobie"

I turned my back to the edge and looked at him with confidence in my eyes. I didn't know what his problem was with this nickname, but I was sure that I wouldn't let him think I wasn't brave enough. With a smile on my face, I took a step back and fell into the unknown.

* * *

The strong wind blew my hair into my eyes when my back hit a net. My body bounced a couple of times before it stilled down and gave me the opportunity to look up to where I was just seconds ago. A little satisfying smile came across my face. I knew that I already love being here and I was sure that I would do everything in my power to stay here. After all, this was my new life. I couldn't go back to the time before this. I could only move forward.  
I felt the net shift and a strong arm reached out for me. I held it for help to get out of the net. The arm didn't let go of me until I was stable on my own two feet, only then I was able to look up and meet the guy standing in front of me.  
His brown hair was shortly cut and his dark blue eyes were examining me, making sure I was fit for here.

"You made it here in heels and a skirt?" he was very surprised, but then he made a step back and his face became serious. What was up with them and their serious faces? I had to ask myself.

"Yes, I did!" I declared with my head held high. Guess the girls here don't wear this kind of clothing. Could have guessed why, with my bleeding knees.  
The net shook from the heavy body that dropped.

"So what is your name? You can change it if you want, but this will be your only opportunity."

"Valeria or Val for short" I answered quickly. It didn't even cross my mind that I could change my name. I was born with this name and besides the personal belongings that I left in Erudite this was the only thing that was left from my past and I wouldn't change it for the world.  
Just then the sound of heavy boots, that dropped behind me, was heard.

"Show her around," Eric's said with very strict voice and he left without saying more.

"My name is Four and I would train you. I was informed of what happened to you, so if you have questions about anything ask. Also, consider that you are a special case here. No one has done a single initiation before, but that doesn't mean that you would pass. If you fail you're out"

I didn't like the sound of that, which inspired me to push myself and do whatever I could to pass and find my place in this new world.  
We started walking around, him showing me the different parts of the compound. I looked like a tourist, only the camera was missing from my hands. Did they even have cameras? I would probably say yes, because why would they disappear, but yet again would they have a purpose for them now?  
I liked the way that their home was built into the cave system. Even the river, which apparently was dangerous and it was the cause of many deaths and suicides.

"Here is where you will be staying, tomorrow we will start your training be at 8 sharp at the training room" with that he left me alone in the big room filled with beds.

Probably this room was considered for more than one person during initiation, but just for me, it was way too big.  
I looked around like I was lost and I felt lost. There were some clothes on the side of one of the beds. Whatever it was, was still better choice than a skirt and heels. I sigh and sat on the bed. For the first time since I woke up, I felt utterly alone. New place that looked like the old one, but it was nowhere near familiar. New society with new rules. New people. All of the people I knew were long gone and I couldn't go back to see them. I swallow the lump that formed in my trough and went to bed.


	3. The Trainee

_**That awkward moment when you write the Draft and Eric comes up sounding like a PMS teenager and you had to rewrite it in order to make him sound more manly and shit xD**_

 _ **I apologize in advance if my writing skills aren't that good. English isn't my native language. Although I try my best to write it well, I'm still lacking. But hey, you write to improve so...**_

 _ **Also, thank you all for the reviews, favorites, reads and everything there is. It really makes my day and inspires me to sit on my ass and keep on writing.**_

* * *

I woke up to someone hitting two metal things hit together. The sound wasn't so pleasant to wake up to. I shifted in my bed just enough to look at the source of the noise. It was dark but I could still make up a dark figure on the doorway holding something long and presumably metal in his right hand.

"You have an hour until your training" it was Four in his bossy attitude. Before I had the opportunity to tell him something he already left.

With a groan, I made it to the showers. I was happy that I was the only one here. I couldn't imagine what was it like to have more people waiting for the showers or worst- showering with you. I was not one to be shy about things, but showing with a bunch of strangers was dawn fall crazy even for me.  
I let the stream of water fall on my head as the thoughts that I tried my best to push away came swarming around. My forehead hit the tiled wall as I did everything in my will power not to break down.

I felt like everything I knew has changed drastically and it wasn't just a feeling. I felt alone, not just in this big room filled with empty beds.  
I had no one here. Everyone was left behind.

It was kind of cruel when I thought about it. Leaving me in that capsule. Sure enough, I didn't think it through when I decided I wanted to be that one to do it, but I didn't have a choice either. I was the only one that knew how to survive if needed, just because of my special training. But I never knew how hard it would actually be. I wasn't aware of how much the world was going to change over the years.  
I had no doubt to myself that I wouldn't do it. I was going to survive and even alone I would overcome everything. Start a new life, from scratch, knowing that this was it. There was no turning back. There was only forward. They found me now, I awoke now and now was when I would live.

After I had a good pep talk in the shower, I dressed up in the new clothes that have been given to me. It was all black. Not that I minded. I loved the color black, but I also loved blue and with this new factions I didn't think people here would be happy if they see me wearing blue. Or even any other color in that matter. It might actually be some sort of treason and there was a line I didn't want to cross if ever wanted to fit in.  
At least the darker colors were just fine here. I could be able to live with just black, purple and red. I quickly laced my combat boots, that I so much adored, I looked like a total badass with them and I left the room.

* * *

Getting through the breakfast line was a slow process. Mentally making a note that the good stuff were always taken first. The food was still the same, every single food on the line I was familiar with. Which was good because I didn't know If I was ready for some strange meals.

The scary part was after the food line. When you turn around toward all the full tables and you didn't know where to sit. Once again I felt like I was in high school and once again I was the new kid that everyone watched with curiosity. Here was the same thing. And the anxiety of where to sit and with whom to sit was the same too.

I went through the tables with my head held high, totally ignoring the stares I was given by some of the members here. But on the inside, my stomach was in a knot. My motto was simple. Hide behind your high held head and don't let anyone see that you're insecure.  
I didn't even have a doubt that I would get to the rumors today. A new initiate, alone, found in a capsule. Who wouldn't talk about it?

"Valeria, over here!" a girl with blond hair waved at me. Very suspicious, considering that I didn't introduce myself, but once again probably every single person here knew my name by now. I came close to the girl, who was sitting with three more people.

Their heads turn into my direction when I got closer and a politely smile appeared on my face. A relieve washed over me that it won't be like high school after all and I get to sit with someone.

"Sit, sit. My name is Tris" she urged me as she introduced herself and then the others. "And this is Christina, Will and Uriah" she pointed at each person.

"Nice to meet you guys. Guess I don't need to introduce myself?" I laughed slightly uncomfortable while I sat down next to what seemed to be Uriah.

"No, you are a legend here!" said Uriah very hippy. I laughed and started eating.

"Yeah, I heard that one before"

There was a moment of silence on the table that made me look up at the people I was sitting with. They were all looking at me like if they look away I might do something interesting that they would miss.

I frowned at them.

"Guys, I'm not an alien. Don't look at me like that"

"Like what?" asked Christina and I could see the confusion on her face.

I felt like I got slapped in the face. My eyes widened in surprise and I looked at every single person on the table and they all were looking at me with empty faces. I was actually very shocked that they didn't know that. Haven't they open a book? But then I remembered that there was just one faction that was sticking their _noses_ into books and I doubted they all came from there.

"You know a creature that is not from this planet…" I started off but the looks on their faces remained the same "like, it lives in…space…"I added trying so desperately to ring a bell, desperately to catch a glimpse of understanding in their eyes, but none came. "um…never mind" I gave up. Tearing my eyes from their still empty looks, trying to figure out what did I just said. I looked back at my food and started eating.

Somehow I felt like I was this wise and old master of knowledge and I had to share everything with the world. Gathering up the grandchildren that were eager to listen to the stories of the life before the war. I was old in some way or another and maybe more wise considering that I wasn't born here. But I doubt that people, especially from this faction, would be eager to listen to my stories, after all, what would they be doing here if they liked facts and books like Erudite.  
Still the question of how much they actually know and didn't know about the world remained. Which made my life a little bit different here. Should they know about this stuff? Would I be in trouble if I tell them something they didn't know or shouldn't know?

I decided to keep my mouth shut until I figure out more of how things with factions worked. I knew the basics, but there was still a lot just beneath the surface.

"Boy, you are weird. But I like it!" suddenly said the boy next to me, making all of us laugh.

"Well, deal with it, because this doesn't even begin to cover it"

Suddenly beside Tris sat the one and only Four, who gave her a kiss on the cheek before his eyes fell on me.

"Hey there, trainer" I greeted him, but only got a cold look from him, totally ignoring me. "Okay, not much of a morning person I see"

"Not much of an _initiate_ person" he was now looking at me with seriousness in his eyes, but how much he tried he couldn't even begin to cover the seriousness that Eric had. Four tried to look intimidating and if I didn't see the worst look that Eric could give you I would have probably be scared of Four's face right now. But that stare that Eric gave me yesterday made me think that he was ready to stop fucking around with me and just toss me off of the building.  
I didn't say much, just shrugged it off and started eating my breakfast.

The talking on the table came to a light subject and I almost felt normal. The group of friends was talking between themselves and I enter the conversation when I could. After all, I hated to be left behind on things and right now I felt like I was too far behind.

"So every one of you is a transfer from a different faction?" I asked all of a sudden stopping a few people from talking.

"No, some are Dauntless born" answered Four.

"Are you a transfer or Dauntless born?" I asked him without thinking. Apparently, from what I picked up from his behavior there was some hospitality towards me. He was my trainer maybe he didn't want me to see his soft and friendly side or know facts about him. Maybe he wanted for me to see the bad and fierce trainer side.  
Me asking him questions or even acknowledging him here on the table was bad, as he always glares at me like I had crossed a line.

"And what makes you think you can talk to me?" he spat out looking at me with a cold glare. My face became serious and so did everyone else's. For a second I thought how to answer him, I didn't want to start my training like this, but Tris got to him first.

"Maybe because you are so appreciable," she said quietly slightly grinding. Which made me choke on my coffee, holding my laughter. I heard Christina grind too, but I was definitely missing an inside joke. Four gave her the death glare and I might just get her in a trouble with her boyfriend. But I was happy that she eased the situation a little bit and I didn't have to suffer against Four's cold and serious eyes.

"That he's," I said trying very hard to hold on a laughter. Suddenly a hand hit the table very hard, making the plates and cups on the table jump up as well as the people sitting. The noise made everyone on the table and a few people in the room, look at our direction.

"Careful, because I'm not having shit from initiates. You have five minutes until your training so I suggest you quit playing around and get ready" his voice was firm and his blue eyes were burning holes in mine, without a second word he stormed out of the room.

I was still wordless, he was so quiet, friendly when I first met him but now with the start of the training, he was more strict. From the looks of things, I would say that he was friendly by heart. But with me, as the new initiate, he was strict in order for me to understand where my place was. And the fact that he was standing above me. I looked around the table and everyone was looking at me with sympathetic looks.

"Sorry. Don't worry he's like that when he trains you, after you become a full member he'll be just another friend" tried to reassure me Tris with an apologetic look on her face.

"Ah, no problem." I wave it off.

This time Christina spoke "At least Eric is not training you. Four is the better choice, believe me,"

I wasn't still sure if that was a good or a bad thing. Both of the seemed very different and both of them with no doubt had different technics in fighting or teaching. I just needed to find the right one, that suited me the most. After all, sometimes, not everything that seemed bad was a bad choice. Sometimes the bad could be a good choice.

I ate my last bite and stood up biting everyone goodbye. I was happy that I made friends with someone. I even made plans for shopping with Christina and Tris. As I was in bad need of clothes. My biggest mistake was saying that I didn't have clothes and I realized it way too late, because this led to an excited Christina who took no for an answer and I was officially screwed for some girl time.

I walked confidently to the training room after all I had nothing to worry about. I was trained by someone who taught me well. I doubted that the fighting technics would change over the years. If they were – I was screwed, but still not so much, considering that I learn quickly.  
Even with Fours changing emotions quickly depending on the occasion, I could still manage.

* * *

 _ **Eric**_

I was sitting alone on one of the tables in the dining hall. No one dared even sitting with me, wise people they were. I didn't know why I sat particularly this evening in the dining hall to eat dinner. Typically when I had a rough day, filled with tons of paper work, I preferred sitting alone in my apartment, eating in silence. Far always from prying eyes and annoying people.

But here I was sitting in one of the tables picking through my meal. I was slightly expecting to see Four or Valeria and see how the training went through, but none of them was here. Probably stuck still in the training room so Four could explain to her how to fight. Even though she was very confident that she knew how to do so.

I didn't know what to expect from her, she looked like she belonged here. With her dark red hair, the tattoos even the clothes she wore when I picked her up. And I could see that she wasn't lacking bravery too.

Besides the obvious for her questions that she asked me on our way here, she didn't even question me: hopped on that train, then jumped on the roof and off of it without hearing the typical _'are you crazy?'_ or _'is there something down there?'_ sentences which I hear during the most initiates. When you think about it, most initiates coming here were familiar with Dauntless ways and still ask the stupid questions. Here it was a girl that slept through the war and after it following me without a second thought.  
Maybe the world she once lived made her more open minded for the world now?

The thing I didn't understand and surprised me was that Jeanine let her go so easily. There was definitely something there. For her to let go of something she just found, without testing it and analyze it. I didn't like the feeling of not knowing what she had in mind and she spared me the further information, besides the fact that I asked a lot of question.

Valeria looked so unknowing there in her office, so naïve of the thing that was Jeanine. She wasn't even aware that she got the easy way out of this. But I wasn't fooled I knew better than that.

A tray was put on the table and the owner sat in front of me. For a second I was about to yell at the person who dared to sit and interrupt me, but then I looked up and I was met with the familiar face. Max looked a little bit stressed and tired. I couldn't even imagine what it was it like to be in his spot, even though I wanted it. He was good at his job, especially when he got the call from Jeanine and quickly made the decision for me to pick Valeria up.

"How're you doing son?" he asked, looking at me not as my boss but as a concerned father.

"Good" I shrugged.

"And how is it going with our new transfer?" for some reason he asked me. I wasn't aware of how the first day of her training went and sure as hell, I wasn't the person to ask that. Sure I needed to oversee it sometimes, but after all, I wasn't needed. And much to my happiness, I didn't have to hear the stupid comments she makes.

"I don't know, ask Four. I didn't have the time to check up on them" I finally answered.

"I need her to make it through initiation. I'm very aware that Jeanine has her eyes on her. Who wouldn't? For them, this is the biggest scientific discovery ever And this discovery is breathing and living proof of life before the war. It would be stupid if Erudite don't get their hands on her"

"So give her to them, why do you want her here?" I asked him skeptically. After all, this was just some silly girl, that Jeanine was so hooked up on.

"It would be in our best interest if she is here. We could even make her a leader. That way we have something everyone wants. I haven't seen yet what she can do, but from what I heard it would be good if we have her with us." Said Max in a very low voice, but still loud enough for me to hear him through all of the noise. "We just need to make her trust us and train her good. Imagine someone like her as one of the Dauntless leaders?" he was inspired. He sees an opportunity and he goes for it. And right now he had his eyes on Valeria. I wasn't sure if she was capable of making it through initiation after all, times had changed. But I saw what Max saw in her. He saw the biggest opportunity ever. He saw someone with a different mind set than the people here and after all, he saw something that Jeanine wanted.

"Why Jeanine wants her so much?" he shrugged for an answer. "She said that she was in some children books, but she spared me more information."

"Whatever it is, it must be very important for Jeanine."

" I just don't know why she let her go so easily. And she left some personal stuff in Erudite" I informed him because it seemed like useful information. I remember her unhappy face when she was told that she couldn't get them and she had to wait. Whatever it was there she didn't want Jeanine to have it.

He looked up at me and his eyes narrowed.

"Are they important?"

I surged "They seemed like they are."

"Let's hope they don't get their hands on them" he finished saying, just when a figure stopped beside our table.  
We both looked up at the figure. It was Four. I almost laughed at the look on his face. He looked pissed, his lip was split and there was a slight blue spot that was starting to form on his cheek.

I lift up a brow asking him silently what the hell he wanted.

"I can't train her" he spilled out. Max looked like he didn't know what to say at this. No one ever quitted training someone new. Was she that bad and of course the other question that popped into my head was- did she made that bruise on his face? And if she did. I was indeed impressed.

"What do you mean you can't train her, it was your first day?" spoke Max, still recovering his shock. "You never back down from a training, why start now?"

"Why, did she do that to you?" I couldn't help myself not to ask with a little smirk on my face.

"I just can't, I swear sometimes she's worst than Eric"

My eyes moved from Four to Max, who was too looking at me with a look that told me _'what did I tell you?'._ I smirked at him and my eyes fell back at Four.

"But you didn't answer my question did she do that to you?"

Four looked unhappy that I was pushing the question and by the looks on his face it said it all. Who would be happy when he got beat up by a girl in a skirt and heels. He sighed in frustration and started talking.

"She did. I started to train her like I do with every initiate. I showed her some moves on the punching bag and she looked bored out of her mind. I made her punch for a little bit and she was doing good, I thought that she was a good learner. She was punching the bag for five minutes when she turned around and challenged me to fight her because the bag was too boring. Never mind the attitude. I never had a problem with initiates. They were always pain in the ass, sure, but not like that." he started to tell what happened and I could barely hold my laughter. That girl had some balls, especially challenging Four.

"And you thought by fighting her you would teach her a lesson not to open her mouth, but it back fired" I continued his story piecing the pieces together. I looked the other way just to hold the silent laugh that escaped me. Max was still kind of shocked by the confession, trying to figure out what was so bad that made Four just give up on training her.

"She was good at her fighting. I don't know who taught her, but he taught her well. She is lacking in some places, but after all, I can't teach her more"

"Tell me she is in worst shape than you," I told him with a smirk. He looked down at me with a serious face like I just had told him something outrageous.

"Of course she is. She had a few more bruises than I do, but still."

"Did you try her with the weapons?" this time asked Max and I could see the wheels in his head turning by this new information. He was right, she had potential that would be great if we have, and not Erudite. Especially if she was good with the weapons as she was good at her fighting. But still, she was left with stage two, which was a different story. But I could see what Max meant.

He just shook his head in answer.

"And why didn't you? I doubt that you fought her all day. " the look on Max's face turned into irritation.

"No, I dismissed her before lunch." Four looked uncomfortable at the instance gaze that Max was throwing him.

"You left a whole day without even testing her how she did with weaponry? What you kicked her ass and then left her for the rest of the day?"

"I…You were out of the compound and I wasn't able to talk to you about it" he was trying his best to stay calm and deny with everything he got that he made a mistake, by letting her go. He really should have tested her for everything, that way tomorrow he would know how to proceed. Max frowned at him, not happy with the outcome. To be honest, what was the hurry? Four said it himself that she knew how to fight so that automatically pulled her a week into her training. "She wanted someone to mentor her in order for her to better her fighting"

"I'll mentor her," I said before I even got the chance to think about it. And the minute the words came out of my mouth I asked myself what the fuck did I just did? Did I really wanted to mentor her?

Four looked at me questionably, like he didn't believe that I would suggest something like that and to be honest I couldn't believe that I suggested it either.

"She has potential and we need her so why not?" I tried to shrug it off like it wasn't big of a deal. Max seemed happy with the idea, but not Four, who looked like he was about to object.

"Oh no, I'll mentor her. Believe me, we don't need her as your protégé. She is bad now, learning from you, it would be worst" I only smirked at him.

"Let's make her choose then. I'll come on tomorrows training and see what got you so scared of her." I challenged him with a little smirk on my face, looking at his straight in the eyes. If he was right about her, there was a chance she would choose me to mentor her and when she does I have no doubt that she would catch up to me. For some reason, I liked how that sounded. Not many people were able to challenge Four and get away with it.

I mischievous smile crept on my face, what an opportunity. I looked up at Max who seemed like he was going to be on my side for this. After all, he was the one telling me she needed to get to Leadership and with my training, there was no doubt she wouldn't make it.

"I would choose Eric to mentor her, no offense Four, but she would need someone like him as a mentor." Said Max with serious voice when he saw Four's unhappy one.

"You want her to become fierce and ruthless? Because if he mentors her that would you get. She is right on the _border_ if you push her into the wrong direction there won't be turning back. She might even become like Eric. But that is just what you want isn't it!? " He raised his voice slightly, enough to make some people on the other tables turn their heads toward us.

Max's voice was strict as he spoke with authority after all Four just crossed a line here. "Are you questioning my judgment? I see an opportunity I'm going to get it. Don't get your personal emotions toward Eric to get better on your judgment. You said it yourself she is trained well, what else can we do except push her to be better. And again you said it yourself you can't train her, so I'll give her training to Eric." With that, he continues eating his dinner dismissing Four, who stood there for a couple of seconds before storming out of the hall.

"I want you to see how she's doing with the weapons. Then if needed spar her. I expect you do better and do whatever you see fit to make her better. After the training I want you to come to my office to talk." I nodded in agreement and we continue our dinner. But I couldn't keep my mind from wandering off to the girl that managed to run after the train wearing high heels. And the smile she threw at me just before she made that one last step over the edge of the building, into the unknown.

There was fire in that girl that pulled me toward her. Maybe was the same fire that was running down my veins. Maybe some greedy part of me wanted to make her my protégé just so I could ignite her and see that fire burning.

But she was brave I could see how she was going to be a very good addition to our faction. She just needed a little push, over the edge, over the _border_.


	4. The Mentor

**_I started to write way too long chapters I might just have to cut them as much as I don't want to. I just don't want to post them super long._**  
 ** _Thank you all for the reviews/favorites/follows ^^_**

* * *

I was walking down the halls. For a faction that didn't like to wake up early, there were quite a few people walking around the halls going places. I liked how full of life it was here. Especially in the evenings. I haven't seen how they celebrate more important occasions, but I didn't think it would be any different than what they did on normal days- drinking till stupor and listening to loud music, which was actually rock and metal. Glad to know that music made it through the years. But still, there were lingering questions, that were so small, that never left my mind. Making me question if I chose the right thing by coming here. Like: what happened to the movies, do they still have them; what about the art. Despite the fact that they listen to music I haven't seen someone play an instrument here. Was it not part of this faction?

If I was at Erudite now I would have been buried in stacks of old books and information about the past and the new world combine. I wouldn't have to ask stupid questions to the few people that were eager to answer them. They knew the basics but not enough to fill the big gaps. A few times I was called that I could have chosen Erudite because of my thirst to know things and the fact that I was never satisfied with the simple answer they always seemed to give me. I wanted details, none of them had.

Sure it was a pain in the ass to fill the pieces one by one, from simple answers and intense observing, but I was happy with my choice of being here.  
I was a little bit sleepy when I got something to eat and sat on the table with my new friends. Of course, Four wasn't very happy with me there and I couldn't help it but feel a little bit smug about the bruise and the split lip I left him after our fight. I was with more bruises than him, but mine was left hidden beneath the clothing, except for one on my cheek. Still, he managed to be civil to me. Did gained his respect when I challenged him to fight me?

I had to admit, he was good at fighting, I didn't expect anything less from someone like him, in a faction that all of the people here knew how to fight. But I still got a little bit surprising, as he was when he saw that I was actually good. He might have thought I was yet another initiate with a big ego, who was back talking to him. I very well knew what I could do. If I even had the smallest doubt that I wouldn't do good against him I would have stayed and punched the bag, no matter how boring it was.

I entered the room, but Four wasn't alone. Eric was leaning against the wall with his strict face. There was tension in the room that could be picked up in the moment I entered. They didn't seem to like each other very much, for some reason.  
Four was arranging some things on a table, with his back at Eric. He didn't see me coming in, but Eric did and for a moment his eyes locked on mine. I smiled politely- old habit of mine, that now I see I had to get rid of. No one here was smiling, everyone always looked pissed. Especially Eric.

When I approached the table, Four finally lifted his head to look up at me. Then he smiled but his smile was more apologetic than friendly. Maybe because Eric was here he was being nice to me. Even when I pissed him off yesterday. It was my bad after all that I kept opening my mouth and talked back to him, but he was treating me like I was new to this kind of training and it was pissing me off. Never the less, he was now smiling at me like everything from yesterday was forgotten. Even the bruises.

"So what is on the agenda today?" I asked him ignoring Eric's presence in here. For all, I knew he was here to observe my training and hold the wall from falling.

Four looked kind of unsure with my question and looked at Eric for an answer. Eric, on the other hand, looked like he got everything under control and without even moving he looked at me and the back at Four.

"Try her with knives" he ordered coldly and his eyes were on me like he was daring me. I make myself look away from his silvery eyes and looked down on the table. There were a couple of knives and sure enough when I turned around there were targets.

"Do you need me to make an example?" asked Four. My eyebrow rose at him, like did he really just asked me that and I looked up at Eric who was still observing me closely. I didn't answer to Four's question instead I picked up three knives from the table and turned around toward the targets.

I started to play with the knives in my hands, taking my time and turned around toward the guys.  
"Do you have stars?" I asked, but I looked at Eric for an answer. There was slightly amusement on his face, but he didn't show much of it.

"Throw the knives if I'm satisfied you get stars," he said coldly.

I smirked at him and turned around. Making the stands that my mentor once taught me I swiftly threw the first knife. It flew, turning a couple of times before it landed straight in the center of the target. I threw the second one, landing just next to the first one. The third one quickly left my hand, but it didn't hit the center it hit the head.

I turned around with a face like 'did you see what I can do?'. Four once again looked surprised, Eric, on the other hand, looked at me skeptically.  
"Give her the stars" he ordered and Four with unhappy face strolled to a room and came back with a box. He stopped in front of me and opened the box. There laid the stars and I almost had the urge to just get a handful and run.

A smile crept on my face when I reached to get three out of the box. I checked how sharp they were and it really fascinated me. I wasn't sure when my obsession with this things started, but I knew for a fact that when they started to mentor me I wanted to learn how to throw them. My mentor, on the other hand, was beyond happy to teach me.

I turned around toward the targets again, moving to the next one and making the stands. I always liked the way the slipped my fingers, spinning their way to the target. I had never killed someone with them, but I surely used them for mobilizing the target.

The star flew and hit the center of the target so did the second one, and once again the last one landed on the head.  
I turned around happy that I showed off what I could do. I looked between the two of them. Four had his eyebrows raised and stood quietly, probably waiting for the next order from Eric. He was quite too, staring at me but his eyes quickly shifted to the targets, then back at me. He looked like he was thinking his next move.

"I'll take it from here, you're not needed anymore" he finally spoke pushing himself off the wall and made a few quick steps toward us. Four looked like he was going to protest.

"Are you serious? No, I'm not letting her train with you."

Eric's face was deadly serious and I had to remember that he was the leader here and Four was below him. He focused his icy eyes on Four, challenging him to speak again against him.

"We talked about it, I'll mentor her into bettering her fighting. And now I'm going to see how she does with guns. So you're dismissed from your training duties."

"What happened with letting her choose or that was just to get rid of me during our talk?" he looked pissed but he didn't back down easy.

"We talked and Max was clear when he said that I would be better for this part. But by all means, let her choose, she doesn't have much of choice anyway" this time his cold eyes were on me. He looked oddly calm and confident in my decision. Four's eyes were on me too waiting for me to choose.

The feeling was the same as the one in middles school when you have to choose between two boys that you like. And the boys were way too different from each other. Same was here. They both had different fighting techniques. I wasn't familiar with Eric's but from what I heard it was quite something. Four was underestimating me and I felt like he wouldn't push me to be better. Eric, on the other hand, was this cold and brutal looking guy who probably would kill me if I ever overstep my boundaries. But at the same time the only person that might stand my attitude and push me hard.

But the choice now was more of who I want to mentor me. I looked between the two of them and I saw a big difference.  
"Today, I don't have all day and we need to get to the shooting range" spat out Eric. His face serious and the piercing on his eyebrow and lip made him even more intimidating, never mind the posture that made him look even with bigger authority.

"You put me in a tough spot here," I said buying some time for myself to think more.

"It's not tough. Seems pretty simple to me." Eric was getting impatient and I felt once again like I just got into the middle of something between the two of them. There were tension and no doubt rivalry. And my choice, more or less, would change the scales.

"Believe me, you don't want him to train you. You would probably be dead by the end of the week of exhaustion." This time spoke Four, trying to push me toward him. But to be honest the most he did was push me toward Eric. I loved a good challenge and if he was going to push me I would gladly take the risk of dying at the end of the week. Even with those words, Eric looked confident as ever.

"Eric" I confidently said, praying that I didn't go with the wrong one.

"Okay then, let's go!" he said not caring as if he knew that I would pick him from the beginning. Turning on his heels he started walking to the door, not even turning around to see if I was following. I threw a quick apologetic look at Four, who looked slightly pissed, but in some way, there was a worry in his eyes as he watched me jog after Eric.

* * *

The walk to the shooting range was quiet, as quiet as it can be when only the sound of the heavy combat boots was geared on the stone floors.  
Eric was a few steps a head of me, leading the way and all I could be able to see from him was his broad back. He was walking with confidence, his shoulder straight and his head held high.

He didn't look at me once since we left the training room, but he was very aware that I was following him closely. Part of it was because I was still not aware of where things were and I could get lost of not paying attention. The other part, of course, was that I desperately wanted to show off my shooting skills. Show him that I didn't make a mistake by being here.

We made our way through dimly lit halls and up some steep stairs that finally led us to the shooting range. It was on the roof, but I was sure that there was one near the training area. So why here? Maybe he finally decided that he had enough of my smug expectations and he would just throw me off the roof. I wanted to see how he covers that up later, probably would go down the line as an _accident_. And Eric looked like someone who 'accidents' happen around him.  
He didn't stop until he reached and opened a closet looking room and grabbed a gun from it. Without a second glance at me, he handed the weapon to me. Expecting from me to know exactly what he wanted me to do.

"Disassemble it and assemble it" he ordered. He was watching me intensely, probably waiting for me to tell him that I didn't know how to do it, so he could throw it in my face.

I let out a slight huff and started to disassemble the gun and then assemble it. He was watching my every move like a hawk. When I finished I looked him into his eyes waiting for his next order. His straightened his posture and crossed his arms on his chest.

"Now without watching," he said daringly. My eyes never left his silvery once while my hands worked on the same actions I did. He moved his eyes only when I was ready.  
If he was impressed he didn't show it. But come on who wouldn't be impressed?  
I raised a brow at him, slightly baldly daring him to order something else. I was really a good challenge for him. A good challenge of finding what I wasn't good at.

"Shoot the target"

I forced myself to look away from his eyes, who felt like they were hypnotizing me. And I had the sudden urge to keep looking at them.  
I turned around toward the targets and raised the weapon, making sure my posture was right, before aiming. I could feel Eric behind me, he kept his distance, but he was still close, watching me intensely. Probably criticizing me.  
I steady my breath and pulled the trigger.

The sound of the bullet leaving the chamber was loud and the force that tried to push me was strong, but I was ready for both of them.  
I lowered my hand and looked at the target. Smirking I looked back at Eric.

"Anything else you want to try me with?"

His eyes were going from the target to me and back. He scratched his cheek with his hand still watching the target, with a bullet straight in the center.  
Suddenly he turned around toward the closet thingy and left with a rifle. Without a word, answering my question he gave the weapon to me and I gladly took it.

The same process here. I took the stance, aimed, took a few deep breaths to steady my breathing and just when I exiled I pulled the trigger.  
A loud bang and the trigger hit the center. With a satisfied smile, I once again turned toward Eric and gave him the rifle.

"Was that all?" I dare him, lifting a brow at him. He took the weapon from my hand and took a step closer towering over me. His expression was serious.

"Who taught a nineteen..."

"Seventeen" I corrected him quickly, interrupting what he was about to say. He made a grumpy face and looked pissed that I interrupted him.

"Seventeen-year-old girl, back then, how to fight and shoot like that?" he continued his question and lifted his pierced brow at me, questionable. He was still towering over me, his posture was tense like he was asking me who I'd killed. But I was looking him straight in the eyes, holding my ground. His eyes were shifting on my face trying to study me, to understand something out of my emotions, but I showed none. My face was serious like his. I didn't trust him and I wasn't going to show something he didn't have to know.

One thing I knew, sometimes it was best to hide your emotions you never know how the other person might use them against you, finding your weaknesses.

"I had a mentor." I shrugged. "Besides what is the big deal you guys train at sixteen"

He didn't look pleased with my answer and pushed the questioning further.  
He made a small step closer to me and I was able to feel his body close to mine just a few more inches and we could be touching. My breath got stuck in my throat, but my expression stood still. "Why?" he asked, still serious, oblivious of how close he was to me. Or he knew, but he was trying to intimidate me into spilling all my secrets.

I didn't trust him, but I knew that I wouldn't go off easy without answering. A sigh escaped my lips and I broke the intense eye contact. I made a step back, away from his firm posture that was making it hard for me to breathe.

My eyes fell on the two pairs of combat boots, one bigger in front of me and one smaller - mine.  
"There were rumors about the war and I didn't want to feel useless during battles if something major happened. The others..." this time he interrupted me barking the question.

"Who're the others?

I didn't want to tell him too much, after all, he might work for Jeanine and was here to obtain information. But I could at least tell him something who might everyone knows now if you read the children books.

"A group of women, who pass the knowledge through the generations. So, the other girls that were the same age as I didn't want to learn how to fight and help themselves if needed, I was the only one. So they found me a mentor who taught me everything I know."

"But why would you want to know this?"  
I sighed once again, I was getting a little bit frustrated and he just kept pushing.

"I told you I didn't want to feel useless. Just run and help the injured I wanted to know how to defend myself and not just run for cover." I raised my voice slightly at him. He didn't even flinch but he sure looked more pissed that I raised my voice at him, like I was a small child that just raised its voice to his parent.  
His next question surprised me a little bit. "What is the knowledge?" I expected everyone to know this after all the story was written in books.

"You know, we can do tea or ointments that can heal you or make a poison that can kill you" I smiled charmingly at the last part. He nodded.

"Are you..." he started and I shook my head.

"I'm not going to answer more"

He made a step forward once again looking at me with his pierced eyes, demanding an answer.  
His voice was sharp with authority "And why is that? I'm the one here saying when you'll stop talking"

"Look, Jeanine didn't get her answers why should you?" I straightened my posture and lift my chin up, once again not backing down, watching him straight in the eyes. And probably this was where I die because he looked more pissed than ever. His jaw was clenched. I noticed he wasn't used to someone back talking him and not giving him what he wanted.

"I'm not going to answer anything more"

"Why?" he snarled at me. I felt his so close that my eyes slipped from his lips with the pricing on the other side, and back at his eyes in a matter of seconds.  
For someone, this proximity would probably intimate them and scared them to death. And I had to admit that he was intimidated, but his icy look was scarier. He was the type of person that with one look could make you squirm.

"You don't need to know more" I shrugged and looked at something besides me, desperately trying to distract myself and let him know that I wasn't going to speak.

"I'll say when I need more information and you'll give it to me gladly." there was a hint of threat in his voice.

"Or what, you'll throw me off the roof?" I raised my voice at him. This time I was watching him in his eyes, daring him to try. There was no doubt that he would win a fight, but I wasn't going to back down without one. "Try, then everything dies with me. And you'll never know more" I was getting furious at him and I could see he was getting too. What happens when you put two people with temper in a room together? Probably the end of the world.

"Careful, I'm your leader. I could kill you and make look like an accident, no one will care."

"And I could put a poison in your coffee, kill you and no one will even be able to track what caused your death." I spat back at him pushing myself forward. With that, there was no space between us. I was able to feel his hard chest pressed on mine and both of us were breathing heavy. None of us breaking the tense eye contact.

Something flashed before his eyes, maybe finally he understood what I was capable of and maybe I just slipped a little bit with the information. In the heat of the moment, I told him something that may or may not be so powerful that Jeanine would want. Everyone knew what we could do in theory, but no one knew exactly what the little potions could do. And just now, I told him what one could do and that was enough for him to go run to Jeanine. There was no doubt that she won't want that recipe and others that would gladly help her science.

"You still have your belongings in Erudite" his eye brow lift, reminding me that I had something important left. My confidence disappeared. I totally forgot about the items. Books and books about this same stuff. I memorized them all just for the same reason, but never burned the books, because I wasn't sure of my brain to keep remembering every single detail.

"They are in a different language, which is probably the dead by now. And I doubt your scientists would know it" I shrugged. If he wanted to get rid of me, he could easily make me disappear and I was sure that no one would even question him about it. Probably after my 'disappearance', they would find a way to open the capsule without me and take the recipes. But I wasn't ready to back down and let them fall into the wrong hands.

We watched each other for a long minute neither of us backing down. I was hyper aware of how close we were but none of us made the move to back down. I saw his eyes making the same quick motion, from my eyes to my lips and back, as I did. I smirked at him, letting him know I just saw what he did. For a second he looked shocked, but that was quickly put behind the stone mask as he made a step back, switching to his strict voice.

"You're dismissed for today. I expect you tomorrow morning at five to be ready for your training. I'll tell you further information about your initiation tomorrow"  
With that, he turned around to put back the weapons dismissing me without a second word. I huffed in annoyance and turned on my heels and went back the way we came in.


	5. The Flashback

Woohoo, new chapter! I want to know what you think. Next one coming soon.  
And of course:  
Thank you all for the reviews/favorites/follows ^^

* * *

"So, how did your first day of training went?" asked me Lynn, whom I just met. She was the typical Dauntless. Her head was buzzed and she looked like she could beat the crap out of you.

There were a few more new people on the table. Some of which was a girl named Mariene who seemed awfully close to Uriah. Ah…I loved the fact that I was very observant of people and they didn't even notice, which was a big plus for me. Besides Mariene there was Zeke – Uriah's big brother, and Lauren. I suddenly felt like I was a part of a really big group of friends who were so kind to me.

I never had a problem with making friends. I was a really good at making conversation if the person opposite of me was willing and not some asshole. The people on this table were nothing but nice, funny and I found myself wanting to spend more time with them. Feel that I belong somewhere and the fact that I'm not alone.

"It went well. I got to show off my skills" I said between the bites.

"What happened with Four, he was awfully quiet when he came to see me earlier?" asked Tris looking at the food line where Four was waiting. I notice that she didn't want to talk about it in front of him so she was watching him carefully. "Didn't you guys finished your training?" her eyes shifted quickly at me as did the others.

Zeke threw a quick glance at where Four was "Yeah he has been acting strange since he went to train you"

"I'm not sure, but he doesn't train me anymore. Maybe that's why he's acting like that" I shrugged and continue eating.

"Wait? What do you mean he's not training you anymore? If he's not, who is?" pushed the subject, Tris, watching me intently.

"Eric" I simply answered.

All eyes widened. Christina's mouth even went open wide. "What? Do you have a death wish or something? Why would you be trained by Eric?"

"I'm sure if you talk with Four he would do something about it and let you train with him instead of Eric" suggested Tris like there was some big understanding.  
I frowned at them. I wasn't sure why everyone was so aggressive toward Eric. Well…sure I knew why, but I didn't see it as a bad idea for him to train me. Everyone here acted as if I choose Hitler as my trainer.

"I choose Eric"

Uriah was looking at me like I betrayed him by doing so "Why would you do something like that?"

"That's what I want to know too" spoke Four, who was beside the table. Guess the watchers forgot to keep track of him and now he heard our conversation. Everyone on the table turned their head toward him, as he sat down on the empty spot beside Tris. None of my new friends spoke. Some continue to eat their food pretending like nothing happened, others were staring at me searching for an answer.  
He didn't look pissed or angry at me choosing Eric. He looked sympathetic and more friendly. His eyes were on me like he was telling me that I could go back with my choice if I wanted to, I just had to say something.

"No offense but I think I could learn more from him, than you" I pointed out. I didn't miss the shocked faces of the people around me.

"You do know that Four was first in his class and Eric was second?" asked me, Zeke, defending his best friend and I shook my head. I didn't know that but it was good to know. Maybe from there started their rivalry.  
But I still stood behind my choice that Eric was the best to teach me where I was lacking.

"I just think that Eric techniques are closer to mine. And Four's are a little…gentler" I said with very serious face earning a few gasps.

"Damn you just went for it. Are you sure you're not Condor?" Uriah mumbled. Four, on the other hand, didn't look particularly happy that I called his techniques gentle and once again the soft and friendly side of him was replaced with the cold one. I was still not aware of how Eric trains, but considering that I had to wake up early to train at five. I would say that he was going to be the death of me.

"And you kind of underestimated me on my first day. I don't like being underestimated." My voice was very coldly.

"Fine, be my guest. If you wish to die by the end of your initiation, go ahead learn from Eric" his voice was flat and his face was behind the stone mask. "You will become just like him. Not caring and fierce" he spat out. Everyone on the table was quiet looking from me to Four depending on who spoke. "But you got the attitude and the looks. Why not learn his techniques so you could really become like him. One Eric apparently is not enough we need a second one"

I scoffed rolling my eyes at him "You two are like kids, have you notice? And maybe I do want to become just like him. Maybe I'm already just like him. I want someone to teach me to be better, to push me to my limits. I love a good challenge and a job well done. I don't want someone who underestimates me and holds me down, not pushing me to use my full potential. I know I'm lacking in some ways, thank you for showing me where. But I'm sure once I go against Eric I would be lacking even more. That says something doesn't it?" I was tensely looking at him. Our eyes were locked just like they were just a few minutes ago with Eric. But this was different. I had the upper hand here, while with Eric the scales were even.

"And you conclude that just from one training lesson with me and a fight?" he asked and I could see how irritated he was.

"It was not even a lesson. You didn't ask me what I know and didn't know, you just assumed that I need to punch a bag and practice the things you showed me. The fight was productive but that was it" I answered honestly shrugging at him.  
"And you're showing once again that you underestimate me. You don't think I could survive the 'tense' training that Eric got for me." I made the air quotes and continue my rant "But guess what I had worst! I had seen worst! So don't pull me the crap about you being first because it doesn't mean shit!" I was still watching him straight in the eyes.

Suddenly his hand came into contact with the table once again. Once again making the cups and plates as well as the people jump, but not me. "Enough!" he yelled, "You should learn where is your place here!"

"Or what? You're not my trainer anymore, you're just yet another person here. You're nothing!" I spat out at him. His jaw was clenched and his hand that laid on the table was now into a fist. He was trying his best not to launch at me and hit me. Everyone on the table was silent, not daring to utter a single word as if we might turn against them.

"And I thought I might give you another chance to want me as your trainer, but I see very well now that Eric was indeed the right choice," he said flatly his rage quieting down. His eyes moved from me to something behind me or more like someone.

A big hand was placed on my shoulder making me turn around to see who it was. There was slightly amusement on Eric's face when our eyes met, but the cold expression quickly came up as his eyes shifted on Four.

"Val, why don't you come with me," he said flatly his eyes locked on Four. I threw a quick look at the people on the table. I didn't expect this to happen. I finally made friends, I felt like I was a part of the group and screwed it up, getting my true colors out by yelling at their most loved and precious member. I didn't like Four now, but the others were such a good company.

Eric squeezed my shoulder letting me know that it was an order I didn't have say in it. I pressed my lips and stood up. I wasn't going to apologize for being right. The only thing I was going to apologize was that I ruined their lunch and I might as well lost a spot in their group.  
As much as I liked being with them, I would totally understand them if, after this little scenario here, they started to hate me. I understood that maybe just now I blew up my only chance in being normal again and having friends. But on the other hand, I wasn't going to sit and being pushed, not stepping up for myself and my decisions.

I started walking out of the dining hall as Eric's big hand was on my back pushing me toward the direction he needed me to go. We walked in silence through the empty halls until he suddenly stopped pushing me at the wall. My back hit the slightly uneven wall but I didn't complain.

"You really don't know how to keep your mouth shut do you?" he started to pace around while I leaned on the wall crossing my hands on my chest.

"What, I thought you will appreciate it. After all, I shut him up, he didn't know what to say back" I let out a small laugh which made him shoot his head toward me. His eyes once again shifting on my face trying to study my expression. I was still grinning when I remembered Four's face. Eric pressed his lips for a second before the ends of his mouth turned up into a smile.

"Okay, I'll give you points for that. Especially when you said to him that he was nothing" he chuckled. For the first time, I heard him or seen him smile. And I had to admit that the sight was quite pleasant. I smirked at him, knowing very well that the stun I pulled was going to be appreciated by him.

"I didn't expect any different reaction from you." Still smirking I asked him silently "How much did you hear?" He stopped pacing and now was facing me, but kept his distance.

"I was a few tables away and I started to listen the moment you raised your voice. I think everyone started to listen at that point" there was still a slight amusement in his voice and I why wouldn't there be. I just yelled at the person he disliked the most.

The smile on my face faded as my expression turned serious, letting him know that this wasn't a joke. "Let's make something clear. I didn't say that because of you. I said it because I needed to defend my choices"

He scoffed "Like I expected you to say it because of me." He made a step forward and locked his eyes with mine. Suddenly I felt trapped between the wall and his body. He wasn't that close but I still held my breath. He just loved getting close, intimidating me.  
"Let's make something clear…" he imitated me "…I'll push you to your limits and after a spar, with me, you won't end up with a few bruises" he reached out and lightly touched the bruise on my face from Four. I swallowed hard as I felt his hand on my skin. His fingers were barely touching me but there were goosebumps all over my body. "With my help, you'll become very strong" there was a slight mischievousness smile on his face as he spoke coldly.

"Dare I say that we have big plans for you." His fingers slowly moved from my cheek to my chin slightly lifting it up to meet his silvery eyes. At this point, it was very hard for me to breathe or move. I felt like I was hypnotized by his eyes. For a second I thought he might kiss me, because of how close he was, but he never made a move neither did I. A pang of guilt shot through me from just thinking about kissing him. Before I even had the chance to think more of this he spoke again his voice turned to whisper.

"So I'm giving you a last chance to go back there and apologize to Four for saying those things to him…" I frowned at him. Was he serious telling me to go back and apologize? But I didn't want to do that and I didn't want to be trained by Four. I thought I made myself very clear with that. I was about to protest when he must have seen my confusion and a dark smile appeared on his face "…No, I'm not telling you to go back. I'm giving you a last chance. You still have time to go back if you want, I'm sure that one I'm sorry and I small tear will make his heart melt and let you go back to him training you. But if you choose to stay here, I want to know you're all for it, no running back to Four when things get hard"

I narrowed my eyes at him "I'm not going to run back when things get hard" my voice was firm. "And I'm very aware of what I get myself into and believe me you won't scare me"

"Okay then, see you tomorrow for training." He made a step back and I immediately felt the absence of his body. He walked the opposite side of where we came without giving me a second look. I stood there for a minute longer reminding myself that I had to breathe. I didn't know what pushed him to come so close, but he always intimidates with close proximity and now wasn't different, besides the fact that it felt different.

I swallow hard the lump that formed in my throat and tried to shoo the guilt that I felt. It was too soon, what was wrong of me to think something like this? Besides, there was nothing here, so why was I reading too much into it?

* * *

I woke up from the sudden movement in the room and someone yanking the blankets from my body. The cold air quickly took over my body making me shiver.

"What the fuck!" I yelled at the intruder until I focused on the figure leaning over my body. My heart started to race and the instincts kicked in. I was ready to attack the person but then I focused on Eric's amused face.

"Rise and shine!" I pulled the covers back up and covered my head.

"Fuck you, go away!" I mumbled beneath the covers. I heard low chuckle before the covers were pulled again off of me.

"You wish, no get your ass out of bed!" this time his voice sounded like an order and I looked at him with the most pissed off look and could give him. I felt like I just laid on my bed and fallen asleep, there was no way it was five o'clock.

"What time is it even?" I asked sitting up on the bed rubbing my eyes. He made a step back watching me.

He crossed his arms on his chest making the tattoos on his hands popped out and in the dim light coming just from the outside lamp he looked even more intimidating than ever. "Five. I told you that with me it's not going to be easy" he sounded a little bit pissed off and the good mood he had just a minute ago was gone. "What, considering going back to Four?" he asked raising his pierced brow. If I knew better I would have said that he looked jealous.  
How long I had to tell him that I didn't want to go to Four. He was acting like a jealous boyfriend. I know that they were not friends and they hated each other, but seriously how long did I have to tell him that I wanted him to mentor me?

I scoffed at him and stood up my bare legs touching the cold floor. A second too late I realized that I was in just a T-shirt and his eyes quickly moved to my bare legs. I pulled the T-shirt down and coughed to get his attention back. His eyes immediately shot at mine like I didn't just cough him looking at my legs.

"Let's make something clear and let's hope it will be for the last time, so don't act all jealous on me." I made a step closer to him watching him straight in the eyes, doing the same thing he does with me. "If I choose you to be my mentor I'm not backing down. Throw whatever you want at me you're not going to make me go away. No one said a thing about Four, so why bring him up?" I poke him in the chest with one finger. I could see that I was pissing him off and for a moment I wanted the playful and smiling Eric. But he just had to bring up Four into all of this.

"Whatever, get ready!" he ordered dryly and turned around on his heels and left the room.

I huffed in frustration and went in the showers. A few minutes later I was all dressed up and ready for whatever Eric throws at me.

I went outside, tieing my long hair into a ponytail. Eric was leaning on the opposite wall waiting for me. He saw me coming out and started walking. I followed him in silence.

"What are we going to do in this unholy hour?" I asked him finally breaking the silence.

He didn't turn around and his voice was still cold and monotone. "We are going for a run"

"Are you still pissed off for nothing?"

"No" he groaned

"Sure you're not" I mumbled behind him. He suddenly stopped on his tracks making me slightly bumped into his hard body. He turned around and looked at me. His posture was tense and his glare was piercing.

"What is your problem exactly?" he barked at me.

"My problem is that you just had to mention Four, like some jealous boyfriend. I don't know what is this rivalry between you too, but I don't give a shit, to be honest. So why don't you just get used to the idea that I'll be your shadow from now on and not his." I told him with the same cold voice he used on me, letting him know that I was dead serious. He surprised me by smirking and continue walking. I stood shocked for a second before I started to walk after him once again, afraid that I might lose him. Was he testing me? That was the only explanation for his mood swings or he was just like this?

We walked through the long empty corridors before we went outside. There was a cool air that blew my hair and made me shiver… I started to stretch and it felt like I haven't done that in a long time.

"Are you ready?" I nodded and we started with a slow jog. I highly doubter this was going to be the run he was talking about. We were just starting slow for a warm up and then the slowly increasing the tempo. And I was right, he started to increase the speed of his steps after a few miles and I followed.

While our run I had the time to look around the city around me. The abandoned ghostly looking building and the homeless people. I didn't know they had homeless people. They all lived in factions so why they had people with no faction? What did those people do for them to be outside? There was still a lot I didn't know about this place. I looked at Eric who looked focused. A white mist was coming out of his mouth as he exhaled.

"I thought everyone was in the factions why those people live here?" I asked him pulling him out of his thoughts.

He looked at me quickly and then his eyes returned to the path before us. "They are factionless. Most become factionless due to failing initiation or they are born like that. They don't have the right to attend the aptitude test. Are you familiar with it?" he asked a little out of breath. I nodded answering his question. Jeanine was kind to tell me the basics, before denying me further information that I wanted about everything that happened during the time I slept. I was actually wondering what the test would show for me. Would it show that I was Dauntless or something else?

"How do they feed?" I asked looking around as we passed the empty streets of the city. Everything felt so ghostly. Once here was full of people walking, driving cars or something else- going places. Now was just empty and abandoned. There was still a few people but there were hiding in the side streets, in the shadows looking through dumpsters. It was kind of sad when you compare it to how it was back then and now.

"Abnegation is feeding them" he answered simply and I felt his speed increasing so I did the same. Keeping his pace and running beside him. I was slightly out of breath, but I still didn't feel the exhaustion or the tightness in my legs, so I was good for now.

"I see, because they always help the others?" I asked but I knew the answer.

He nodded "You catch up fast" he commented and a soft smile escaped his lips. I was sure he didn't even notice the emotion.

"Well it doesn't take an idiot to figure it out" I joked and I heard him chuckle beside me.

"So what season it's?" I asked maybe the stupidest question I had since I was here, but it was hard for me to determine what season it was. It was cold now, but it was five in the morning and I didn't have the chance to exit the compound so it was hard to know.

"Beginning of summer, you showed up just between initiations. I hope by that time new initiates come you'll be a full member" he said.

"So there is no chance for me to end up factionless?" I asked him with hope in my eyes. I didn't want to end up homeless after all of this I had been through.

"Oh no, we are not missing the chance of you becoming Dauntless" he reassured me. Making the heaviness in my chest leave the minute I heard his words. "You belong here you know?"

"If I don't belong here I don't know where would," I said slightly shaking my head.

"Erudite?" one of his brows lift up questionable.

I scoffed "Yeah sure, I might know stuff but you haven't seen me how bad I'm at Science" we both laughed. For a first time, I saw him calm and letting go. The thing that scared me was that I was letting go too. I still couldn't trust him, but I couldn't help myself when we were just the two of us, talking about nothing in particular. I was sure that even he didn't notice how he let go of his serious face and become more relaxed around me. And I didn't want to point it out scared that he might pull his walls back as well as I – mine.

I decided to keep up like this, but with one thing on my mind. That I shouldn't tell him a lot of information about me. Something that he might use against me. Because for all I know he might be tricking me. Making me think that he put his walls down in this moment, making me comfortable with his smile into spilling something too important and then use it against me or worst- reporting to Jeanine. So even though I enjoyed this little moment of peace I still paid attention to what I was saying.

"Okay enough warming of, let's get to the serious part" he turned his head to me. "you're not giving up are you?" he challenged me, making me smirk at him.

"You wish, bring it up!"

"Careful, you were asleep for a quite long time," he said with playfulness in his eyes.

"I might have slept for over hundred years, but I can still kick your ass. Don't forget I'm older and wiser" I said confidently and he looked like he didn't believe me.

"Yeah sure, Noobie whatever you say" I narrowed my eyes at him and he laughed slightly.

"Game on young man!"

"Game on old lady" with that he sped up. I wasn't ready and I was still shocked that he called me old. But I quickly started to sprint behind him. He looked over his shoulder seeing me smirk on the fact that I was catching up to him. He turned his head and increased his speed. I wasn't sure where we were going but that didn't stop me to push myself so I could run past him.

And when I did I had a smile of victory on my face when I saw his surprised one. I waved at him and sped up. I was going to be so pissed I found out later that he let me pass him on purpose but that didn't sound like him. I didn't turn around because I knew he was right on my heels making me push myself even more. My chest started to burn and my legs tightened. Guess the years of sleep were catching up with me.  
I notice that I stopped hearing him behind me and smile crept on my face before I heard his voice far away behind me.

"Wrong way Noobie!" he was yelling and pointing at something behind him. I stopped, trying to catch my breath I turned around he was a few meters away. He too had stopped and there was a smug smile on his face. Why was he smiling like that? When It hit me. I was first but I got the path wrong. Before I knew it he started to run the other way rounding a corner

"Fuck!" I yelled and started to run after him. I was still unfamiliar with the path. They maybe the same streets as once, but they were still changed. And that cost me my glorious victory against him.

My lungs were burning in desperate need for oxygen but I ignored them. I felt like I was going to collapse. I rounded the corner and saw his body dressed in all black and his blond hair that was being lifted by the wind.

As I watched Eric's figure running in front of me I had the strange feeling of déjà vu. Only that time I wasn't running through buildings and empty roads. I was running through a forest path covered in a bed of colorful leaves.

 _There was a cold wind that shook the branches of the trees making the few barely hanging leaves dance._  
 _My lungs were burning and I felt my chest so tight that I couldn't breathe. I pushed myself too much, I couldn't do it! I stopped, making the pain in my legs fading slightly, but there were still weak. I was barely holding myself without falling. I tried to catch my breath but how much I tried I felt like I was suffocating. My heart started to race quickly from the panic as I looked up at the figure that was running away from me._

 _He was wearing a black sweatshirt and gray track pants. His short brown hair was tied on the back of his neck, making a little bun. He wasn't turning around for me and my heart sunk._

 _"Wait!" I yelled but my voice was barely heard from the wind and the loss of air in my lungs. "I… can't" I barely spoke as I bent putting my hands on my legs. I looked at my feet desperately trying to catch my breathing. I shouldn't have run so fast, I shouldn't have pushed myself._

 _I heard footsteps coming closer and stopping in front of me. "Val?" his voice was strong but filled with concern. Two hands went to the side of my shoulders making me look up at his dark brown eyes._

 _"I can't…" I breathed out, taking in a deep breath. "I'm sorry…" hiding once again my face from his eyes. I didn't want to see him disappointed._

 _The grip on my hands tightened "Val, look at me!" he ordered but the tightness in my chest was still there and I was struggling to breathe properly. "Val, please calm down and breathe" there was panic in his voice, but that didn't sound like him. He was always so calm and rational. "Look at me!" he ordered once again but this time more firmly, squeezing my shoulders more tightly._

 _I once again looked up and I felt like I was getting lost in his eyes. "Breath with me, okay?" I nodded in reply. He started to take deep breaths and exhales. I mimicked him finding the rhythm. My heart started to slow down and my breathing even out. Even the tightness in my chest started to disappear._

 _A small smile appeared on his face when he saw me calmed down and even that cute dimple on his left side of his lips formed. I was now able to see his face more clearly. The panic from a few minutes ago was gone and now there was the familiar kindness. A few locks of his tied hair were loose on both sides of his face. Making my fingers itch to tuck them behind his ear._

 _"You good? Got me scared there for a second" He was still standing close to me, his eyes shifting on my face rapidly, checking if I was indeed okay._

 _I nodded "Yes… I'm sorry. I just couldn't keep up and…"_

 _"You don't have to be sorry. I pushed you too far. You're just not ready for that kind of intense run." He smiled at me and pat my shoulder._

 _"Let's slowly jog back. You're not going to faint on me are you?" he joked making a step back._

 _"I'm okay, just needed to catch my breath" I reassured him._

 _"Okay, because I was ready to carry you if you fainted" he brushed it off with his hand like he was shooting a fly. My eyes widened and a small smile crept on my face._

 _"On a second thought, I feel a little bit light headed" I placed a hand on my forehead, trying my best to sound convincing. He smirked at me._

 _"Nice try Val." He said turning around starting to jog lightly._

 _"It was worth trying," I said before I started to jog after him, ignoring that my legs were barely holding me._

I barely made it back to the compound. I didn't even notice how long we had been warming up until I had to run it back. Time really passes when you talk with someone. Eric was there with a smug expression on his face. He was out of breath and little sweat drops were formed on his forehead making a few lock of his blond hair stick. My hands were itching to pull them back to the rest of his hair, but instead of that, I collapsed on the gravel next to him breathing heavy.

"Not fair! I didn't know the path!" I protested.

"Just admit that you lost because you can't keep up," he said still out of breath.

"I totally had you there, you'll see tomorrow" I threatened him, but he didn't look fazed.

"Yeah, sure! I'll change the path then." he said with smirked and offers me his hand. I take it not missing the feeling of my small hand in his. He pulled me up and I felt my legs like they were jello.

"You wouldn't dare" but I knew very well that he was capable of it. He would do everything just so it could be hard for me.

It was still morning and I didn't want to think what he got sorted for me during the day. But I wanted this, so there was no backing out of it. I knew what I was signing for so there was no room for complaining. The fact that this was the way for me to become better I was going to make it.

"Let's go get breakfast," he said and once again his face became serious, putting his walls back up. I nodded. I was starting to get used to his emotion changes. After all, I understood him very clearly. The joking and smiling Eric was outside the compound for a few minutes, while in the compound he was the serious leader, that needed to keep a reputation.

I did the same. I became serious as he was and started to walk after him. I knew when was time for jokes and when you had to be serious. After all, I had to keep a certain look, I didn't want people to see me as a way to easy to approach and then use me how they saw fit. Not anymore.


	6. Brainwashed

_**There's a made up leader because Tori is too good of an artist to put her to leadership. xD**_

 _ **As usual, thank you all for the reviews/favorites/follows ^^  
**_  
 _ **Psst...I like reading reviews a lot *whispers from a dark corner***_

* * *

We went inside the dining hall. One thing that coughed my attention that wherever Eric went there were always stares following him. Turning heads and whispers. Considering I that I was with him, the looks were even more. He didn't look fazed by all of it and kept his stone mask on his face. I held my head high and same as him my face was emotionless. It made me think how identical we were with him. I was too hiding behind serious face not giving the opportunity for the people to use my emotions against me. Instead of me, he pulled authority, something that I didn't have yet. But there was still a reputation behind my name either they heard it or not.

I didn't know how hungry I was until I saw all the food lined up in front of me. I started to grab some pancakes, muffin and a coffee. I saw the questioning look that Eric threw my way and I just shrugged at him, making him shook his head in disbelieve.

"What?" I hissed.

"Are you seriously going to eat everything?" he asked skeptically as he grabbed coffee for himself.

"Are you underestimating me?" I lifted one of my brows at him, wishing there was a piercing as he had, so it would look cooler. "You do know what happened to the last guy who underestimated me?"

His lips curled a little. That was the closest I could get to a smile when other people were around, but that was enough for me. "Yeah, he was nothing and you almost ate him for lunch." He took his tray and started walking, I followed him. I didn't know where to sit, so the second best thing was with him. We approached the table where all of my once new friends were sitting, including Four. I smiled at them for the courtesy of it. Some of them smiled at me, some didn't. It was easy to see whose side they were on. I slowed down my footing, slightly stopping on the side of their table. Eric kept walking, expecting me to follow him as always. For a moment I thought about sitting with them, but then I wasn't sure how the thing would go. I felt like I owed them an apology for my behavior yesterday, but I didn't want to do it in front of Four. My ego wouldn't allow it.

I was about to ask Tris and Chris who seemed still friendly with me, that there were still up for helping me shopping. I wasn't very thrilled for some girl time, but now that I felt the missing part I wanted to spend some time with them. But Eric's firm voice stopped me.

"Val" he didn't need to say more. I pressed my lips and started walking toward him. He sat on the table with the others leaders, which all had the same neck tattoos. I sat down next to Eric a little bit insecure. I didn't feel right sitting here, after all for them I was only an initiate.

"Valeria it's very nice to finally meet you in person," said one of them, who looked a little bit older than the other woman and man on the table. "My name is Max, this is Monic and Harrison." He introduced himself and the others. They nodded their head at me and I smiled politely at them.

"The pleasure is mine"

"We've heard great things about you," said Max with a small smile on his face. It was hard for me to see if it was a kind and friendly smile or just forced so I could trust him. Whatever it was, I was currently on the leader's table, so I had to show them that I was trustworthy and at the same time, I trust them. Even though they still needed to gain my trust, including Eric.

"All good things I assume?" I said and started to eat my breakfast.

"But of course. How was your run?" he asked but this time he turned to Eric.

"Good, she's fast. Almost won the race" he joked dryly. I scoffed in disapproval but said nothing. I didn't miss the looks on the other leader's faces.

"You were very well trained I was informed" Max turned his attention to me once again.

"I was" a sad smile appeared on my face as I remembered the small memory I relived during the run. As if Max saw my sudden change didn't push the subject further.

"Well, we expect great things from you"

"I will not disappoint," I said confidently and he nodded. My eyes met the woman, who was looking at me tensely, studying me, but once our eyes met she smiled at me.

"So you're the one that ran after the train in high heel boots and shut Four's mouth at lunch?" she had her brow raised at me and I couldn't hold my satisfied smile.

"I guess everyone heard" I laughed slightly.

"Ooh…we heard" spoke for the first time Harrison, making everyone on the table slightly chuckle including Eric.

"I bet Eric's favorite part was when she told Four that he was nothing, even when he was first" joked Monic. Eric was shaking his head next to me, but he was laughing. "You know me"

She shrugged "Of course"

"The look on his face was priceless" chuckled Eric. I felt slightly strange being here. Especially with people who so openly talked how an initiate roasted one of their members. But I strongly felt enjoyment.

"Okay okay, enough talk about Four. I want you tomorrow to start the second stage" spoke Max, restoring order to the giggling table.

"So soon?" asked Eric and I looked confused. My eyes moved from person to person seeking answers, but none of them said a thing.

Max just shrugged like it wasn't big deal. "Sure, but you won't stop training her. This training is for her leadership position." I didn't miss the surprised faces of the other leaders.

"Why are you pushing her so much? What if she doesn't pass second and third?" asked Monic. I was still unaware what was in this stages and helplessly looked at Eric, who shook his head as if not now. I pressed my lips and listen to the conversation.

"She will." Said very confidently Max while eating his eggs.

"How are you so sure?" pushed the issue Monic making me thing that she was doubting my abilities or she was just cautious.

Max put his fork on the table, but I could see he was irritated. "She wanted someone to mentor her into bettering he fighting skills. Eric is mentoring her" he said pointing at Eric and all eyes fell on him. "It doesn't hurt no one if she does two things at once. To train into bettering and train for the leadership position. Of course, for now, she would only be having the physical training, but once she completes the last two stages I expect from her to start the other training."

His eyes were on me as if he was expecting me to answer the unsaid question. I wasn't aware that they wanted me to become a leader. Eric said that they had great things about me, but I wasn't sure what they were. And now - leader? I wasn't still familiar with what a leader does. But I was willing to give it a try. Maybe from this position, I was going to be able to see more of this new life, than in any other position. And to be honest, when was I given the opportunity to become a leader and declined it? Never! So why was I going to start now? This job was the perfect thing for me. I get to see the inside of a faction as well as the others.

The problem about my trust uses came again. I still didn't feel safe to let my guard down. I still had my doubts about them working for Jeanine and me being leader might just give them the opportunity to give me to her. There was no one I could trust here and that was a bad thing. I had to make risk decisions with minimum information and hope that after all, it was the right choice.

And that was what I was going to do now. Make a huge leap and decide later when and if things get tough, what to do. I swallowed the food and gave my answer. " I'll be thrilled to be a leader. I have very good characteristics for the work and quite a few useful skills that might come in handy"

"I know, that's why I want you," said Max with a smile as he continues to eat his breakfast. I looked up at Eric who gave me a quick smile and a nod before he returned to his breakfast. He really smiled in front of people, but the fact he smiled in front of the leaders on the table said something. Maybe he was more familiar and friendly with them than the others, but still not enough as good friends would be, because he still kept his serious face on. But the fact that he let go and joked around them was enough for me to see more of him.

* * *

A grunt escaped me the moment my back hit the floor. Even on the mat, I felt the air being sucked out of my lungs. Every muscle in my body was sore from the fighting and beating I had gone through for the past hours. First off we started with some weight lifting, a warming up as he said and then we moved to sparring. He didn't go easy on me and I didn't expect him to. I would be more pissed if he backed down than beating the crap out of me.

It was a long time since I'd trained like that and I didn't mean the fact that I was a sleep for most of those years. My training once was intense, but once I changed the mentors I could clearly see the different techniques and fact that against Eric I could manage but not for long.

"Again!" he barked at me. I've been hearing this for a couple of hours now and I was starting to think it was his favorite word. I felt exhausted out of my mind and I could barely lift my arms.

"I totally had you," I said breathless but didn't make a move to stand up and take a position. I didn't know why he kept pushing me clearly I was so tired that I started to make simple mistakes which led to me being pinned or pushed by him after some attempts on my end.

"Yeah sure," he puffed and offered me his hand. I took it besides the fact that I was still not ready to get up yet.

I made my stance and so did he, sweat dripping on his body making me little-distracted form the loss of his shirt. I was so hot that I wished I could take off my sports bra too, which was my only clothing since I decided I had enough of my shirt.

"I have to say you are pretty good," he said as we started to circle each other. I raised my brow at him with a little smirk on my lips.

"Did you just complimented me? I must of hit my head pretty hard then" I joked as he rolled his eyes and made an advance toward me with his right hand. I quickly stepped on the side hitting him on the side.

We then proceed with series of blocking and sometimes punching each other, but it was visible that we were both too tired and too stubborn to give up. My last mentor was a challenge but when I learned all of his moved it was both easy and hard to fight him. Fighting Eric was hard, not knowing his moves and weaknesses but I try to catch up on them quickly. He always made sure to tell me where I did wrong so I wouldn't make the same mistake twice and I never did. I could see clearly how I started to pick up some of his techniques and along side with my old once I was starting to mash them together. It really made me think who would win a fight, my previous mentor or Eric. For sure that was a fight I wanted to see.

Once again my back hit the mat and I promised myself that one day I would pin Eric. Who was now pinning me with both my hands to the side and legs between his I'd nowhere to go or move. I was breathing heavily so was he. His eyes were on me and there was a mischievousness on his face as a triumph that once again he beat me.

"Again!" he whispered knowing well know that I hated the word.

"Okay okay, I get it, I still need to work on my pinning" I purposely avoided his eyes but I had nowhere else to look so I did. I didn't know why I expected for them to be brown as that was the most normal thing and not silver. I didn't know why expected the color of his hair to be brown as the few stubborn locks fell on his face but instead it was blond. There was a pang in my heart that left me more breathless than the impact with the mat and the lump on my through made the situation even worst. I quickly looked away.

"Get off of me!" I snarled at him fighting the tears in my eyes. I didn't need this now, I didn't need to remember it now. I felt the tight grip on my hands loosen up and then gone as with his body above me. He didn't speak, he just offered his hand for me to take it. This time I didn't take it, I stood on my own not meeting his eyes. I heard him huff in frustration I understood that the good time we had was over. I had my back at him, taking a few deep breaths to compose myself. Telling myself that I need to show no emotions. I swallowed the hard lump in my throat and with seriousness in my face I turned toward him. His face was the same as mine as he put his walls too.

"It's almost dinner, go take a shower and eat. We're done for today. Don't forget that tomorrow starts your stage two. " He said coldly and started to move the mat. I didn't say anything just picked up my bag and started to walk away. "He taught you well." His sentence made me stop dead in my tracks, feeling me with rage. _What did he know about him?_ " I could help you perfection it and perfection mine too. With those two fighting techniques, you'll make one very unique one." His voice was not his typical snarky one or strict. It was warmer, dare I say, friendly in some way. Like he was trying to tame a wild animal and he was scared it would run away. He almost didn't sound like him.

"You know nothing about _him_!" I snarled looking back over my shoulder at him. My face said it all- glaring daggers at him, showing him that it wasn't a subject he needed to push.

"I don't, but I could see _him_ in your fighting" he pointed out. It was really hard for me to show no emotions as my heart was beating so fast in my chest and all I wanted was to run away and hide somewhere. But I wasn't going to show weakness. I lift up my chin and looked him with the best emotionless expression I could give him.

"Is that all?"

"Yeah sure, go!" he dismissed me waving off his hand and quickly returned to arranging the mats like the conversation didn't happen.

I held my expression as I made my way through the halls, while familiar and unfamiliar faces were passing me. I held it as I greeted some people, keeping the fake smile on my face pretending there was nothing clenching my heart. I held it as I entered the dormitory, as I stripped down. I held it until the warm water hit my head and body, and I couldn't hold it anymore. I broke down. Salty tears started to mix with sweat water and quite sobs echoing through the empty showers.

This was not me. I was never known to break down in tears because of someone or something. But I felt like my heart was ripped out again. It felt like the last time and it was painful. I hugged myself under the warm sprays and kept crying. I missed him so much it hurt.

For the first time since I was here, which was not long but long enough, I broke down. I felt alone since I came here, but now I felt even more alone. I tried so hard to push the emptiness, the loneliness, the memories and the people I left behind but now starting to train again was the breaking point. It brought back memories that I pushed and I didn't need them now. They made me weak and not thinking straight. I didn't need that. But they came swarming around that I left myself just this time to let go and cry as much as I could. Until I leave the shower. Until I stop the water, get dressed for dinner and meet people. But until then I was going to cry my eyes out and no one was going to know.

* * *

I was still uneasy where to seat eating my dinner. I felt like I'm eating with lions when I sat on the leader's tables. Not that I didn't like their company, there sure followed the same interest as Eric did and that made them easy to talk to.

To be honest I didn't want to see Eric now. I didn't know how long it took me to calm myself down in the shower and then put a makeup that could hide the fact that I cried my eyes out. My eyes were still a little bit red but people might consider it was from tiredness, which was fine by me.

I took my tray with my food on it and started walking down the tables. I spotted an empty one and I made my way there with confidence. I doubted that Tris's group of friends would want me to join them so that left me with my only choice. To be alone, which despite my confident look on my face, made me a little sad.  
I was well surprised when Christina waved at me to come toward them. With a confused look, I started walking toward the group. Their heads turned to look at me as I approached, which made me even more obnoxious.

"Come sit." encouraged me, Christina, patting the spot next to her.

"I don't think that is a good idea," I said a little bit hesitant and started to walk to my empty table.

"Nonsense, come here" I pressed my lips and glared at every single person's face searching for some kind of sign that they don't want me here, but there was none. I sat down and the feeling of belonging I once felt was gone now. I felt uncomfortable.

"I want to apologize for ruining your lunch yesterday," I said with a little smile. That was the only thing I was ready to apologize for. My eyes once again moved to every single person on the table.

"No problem," said Tris waving it off.

"Will you apologize to Four too?" asked Lauren looking at me straight in the eyes. It was clearly shown whose loyalty laid with whom. I pressed my lips knowing that the answer I would give her won't satisfy her and might end up in another conflict that I didn't want to pursue.

"No, I don't have anything to apologize for" I broke the tense eye contact with her and started eating. I could hear her murmur something under her nose, but I could only catch Eric's name at the end.

Just in time, Four made his appearance on the table along side with Zeke. They both sat down throwing me a quick look. I didn't say anything and I didn't have too because Four spoke first.

"How was your first day with Eric?" he asked. It didn't escape me how despite his hatred for Eric and the fact that we had our argument he was still kind of caring for my well being. Wondering if that was just curiosity or real caring. I looked up at my plate and I saw all eyes on me once again, like they expect from me to tell them that I almost got killed or something.

"You look tired" pointed out Christina and I was glad that they thought that it was tiredness on my face.

"Yeah, well when you wake up early and train all day it's bound to feel tired" I pointed out, but they still looked skeptical. It made me wonder why they were thinking that Eric training was the worst. Or even better why the thought that Eric training me instantly made me dead.

"So you're okay? He didn't push you too much or anything?" asked Four consciously like he was playing with fire. I narrowed my eyes at him but everyone on the table looked like that. Like they expect from me to tell them that it was hell and I almost died a couple of times, that he maybe put a gun to my head or hang me over the Chasm. The truth was that the training was tense, that I felt tired and probably sore, but for me it was nothing. I knew that they were thinking of the worst when it came to Eric. I saw in him what they were so afraid of, but it was nothing new or scary for me. Which instantly made me the weird one here.

"I'm okay, alive. The training is not something I didn't have before" I tried to reassure them that I was indeed okay and not brainwashed by smiling a little bit. That didn't seem to work as the look on their faces said it all. I was officially crazy in their eyes.

"He brainwashed her!" said Uriah with a very serious face. He was always the one to joke but not spending time with them it was hard for me to know if he was joking right now or no.

"Poor little thing" pounded Christina beside me and started to rub my back. I felt so uncomfortable and started to look at someone for help. My eyes landed on Tris which was grinning.

"Guys stop, she's doing good. Why is it so hard to believe that she's the only person in the human history that is able to get through Eric's training" there was a slight mockery in her voice and I finally understood what their deal was. They were making fun of me and I didn't miss the chance to catch up. I laughed and shook my head it was unbelievable how much faith they have in me.

"Come on, it's not that bad. I felt tired, yeah but I knew the drill"

"Don't tell me that your last mentor was worst than Eric?" joked Zeke obviously informed with my previous training. I tried not to look sad from the fact that today seemed to be the day that everyone talked about him.

"No, but back then I had no muscle the training seemed hell. Now I know what to expect" I smiled softly when I answered his question. He nodded in understanding.

"I'm curious about him though, how did he train you, why did he do it?" asked Four without even knowing that he just step over a line. My smile quickly faded from my face and my eyes once again turned dead cold looking at him.

"And what makes you think I'll answer those questions?" I said flatly. Instantly the air around us thickened and I could see that the others picked it up too. Four looked slightly shocked and uncomfortable from my sudden change. He didn't look like he was going to push the subject but even if he was Christina beat him to it and swiftly changed the subject.

"So, tomorrow we're having some girl time and we're going to drag you for clothes." She smiled widely at me and I looked at her tearing my eyes from Four.

"As much as I don't like shopping I'm in," I said once again with a smile on my face, never mind it was slightly fake. "Can someone tell me what to expect from stage two?" I asked no one in particular. Some pressed their lips. I felt like this was some kind of big secret that had to be kept.

Four spoke first "You're moving to stage two so quickly?" he sounded a little bit skeptical.

I looked so lost if I knew what was stage two I might know his answer.

"Well if you tell me what stage two is..." I trailed off but he just shook his head. No one from the table answered me and I started to get nervous.

"It's bad, but you'll get through it," said Christina beside me. That didn't calm me down even one bit it made me even more nervous.

"What is it?" I asked again this time looking at Four, who looked like the person who might give me a reasonable answer.

"It's better if you don't know. That's way you won't think about it too much"

"I'll be thinking about it anyway. You might as well just tell me" I protested but he shook his head and instead asked a question: "The only thing I want to know is why they pushed you to stage two so soon?"

I shrugged "Maybe because I'm good at fighting and it's pointless to be in stage one?" I guessed.

Tris frowned a little bit "But you'll be still training with Eric?" she asked which made everyone turn their heads to me. Apparently, Eric was a hot topic to talk about here.

I found a little bit unsure of how to answer "Um...yeah I'll"

"But why?" questioned Uriah joining the confusion.

"Because I want to" I simply answered like it was the most obvious thing to say. They wouldn't understand me and there was no point for me to try to explain it.

Four's eyebrows rose as he couldn't believe what I just said: "You want to?"

"I'm telling you she's brainwashed, no one believes me!" shouted Uriah catching the attention not just to the people on our table but others too.

"Oh my God!" I sighed rolling my eyes. The table burst into laughter from my reaction.

Dinner continued very well and I didn't notice how I forgot what a crappy day I had today.


	7. Fear

_**I'm not going to go into detail about her fears now. I'll talk more about them in a later chapter when she becomes a full member. But I'm just going to say that they show a little bit of her backstory.**_

 _ **Thank you all for the reviews/favorites/follows ^^**_

* * *

I was sitting on the stone floor waiting for Eric or whoever there was in the room to open the door and invite me in. I was so nervous about stage two. If I knew what it was I might a feel better, but since no one wanted to tell me I was a nervous wreck. It was hard for me to remember a day when I was so nervous than now.

The physical training was easy. There I knew what to expect and how to pass it. I didn't complain there. Eric was hard on me but I didn't expect any less from him, that was why I choose him. Even when I had to do this unknown stage two and we still had our morning run and as he promised he changed the route making it impossible for me to win once again.

I was starting to think that he was doing in on purpose. He knew very well that I was capable of outrunning him and the only thing that stopped me was the stupid routes. I was familiar with the streets but they had changed a lot and Eric was using it against me.

I felt sore from all of the training and I was glad when he told me that today we won't train me because of stage two. Whatever that meant. I definitely out of practice but I was confident that I would catch-up fast.

The door opened and Eric motion for me to follow him. I stood up and started walking after him. We entered a small room in which there was a chair in the middle and a computer on the side.

"Sit" Eric went past me and sat on the chair in front of the computer and started to type something. The fact that I still didn't know what I was getting myself into was making my heart race even faster. He looked up from the computer and his eyes fell on me. "Sit, don't stand there" he was getting annoyed. I made a few unsure steps to the chair and sat down.

"What is this?" I asked looking at the computer trying to figure something out. But from what I saw it was a program that I wasn't familiar with. Eric didn't say a thing and brought up a syringe with strange orange looking liquid in my line of vision.  
I instinctively moved away from him, as far as I was able to go, considering the chair.

"So this is what is going to happen. This contains microchips that when I inject it in you, they will stimulate that part of your brain that causes fear. You will loose continuous and live your fear. In order to beat it, you have to calm down and make your heart rate slow or just face the fear." He explained and I was still backing out on him.

He explained it to me like I knew what he was talking, which I was grateful for. I didn't need to be explained like I was some kind of moron. But this thing was crazy, never in my wildest dreams would I have thought that someone would inject me microchips.

"Wait wait, microchips? Do they decay later on? I don't want them stuck in me forever" he let out a small chuckle

"Yes, they dissolve after the simulation."

"And everyone went through this?" I asked still a little skeptical. He nodded in return.

"I'll be able to see your fear here" he pointed at the computer. The minute he said that I was even in a more panic state. He was going to be able to see my fears and I didn't like that one bit. If someone knows this kind of personal thing he could use it against you. When you don't have trust in the person standing beside you the chances of him using this against you are high. What if he sent them to Jeanine? She was going to use them in order to give her what she wanted. I didn't know what my fears were, but sure as hell I didn't want anyone else knowing.

"You will see my fears?" he nodded still holding the syringe. "Will others see them?" I rose one brow ready to take my chances if he was the only one. He pressed his lips and looked at me straight in the eyes.

"Yes, the other leaders"

"You do know that this is way too personal and you might just see something that I don't want you to see. Never the less a fear that you might use against me" I pointed out. He sighed in frustration and ran his hand through his hair.

"I know, but believe me I've seen a lot of fears there would be nothing I haven't seen before"

"Yes, but this is personal!"

"Every fear is personal, but in order to pass initiation you have to face your fears or you become factionless. Is that what you want? Just because I'll see them you will choose to leave?" He raised his voice and his eyes were cold. I didn't speak but it was enough of an answer for him to proceed.

I made myself comfortable and didn't look away from him. I felt like it was the capsule over again. Only this time it wasn't brown eyes watching me it was silver once. He brushed off the hair on my neck, I felt the stink as well as the liquid in my system.

"Remember you just have to lower your heart rate." I nodded and I felt my eyes heavy, just when I was about to pass out I heard him say "Be brave, Val"

I was in an empty black room, there was only a one single light hanging from the ceiling. I looked around but saw nothing. It was so freaky. Suddenly I heard footsteps behind me as I turned around I was faced with a familiar face. Face that I haven't seen in a long time.

He didn't age a bit and he looked exactly as the last time I saw him. My heart started to beat faster but not out of fear more like happiness. I smiled. His hair was still sandy blond as I remembered it, as I last saw him. His eyes looking even more blue from the light above him. He smiled too with his charming smile, but his smile quickly faded away as his eyes shifted to something in my hands. I looked down shocked that I was actually holding a gun.

My gaze shifted quickly from the gun to him and I saw fear in his eyes. Something I didn't ever want to see.  
Suddenly a voice came next to me taunting me.

"Do it! Kill him!" I shook my head and tears started to fill my eyes. This wasn't happening, I was not going to kill him.

"Do it!" I once again shook my head. My hands started to shake and I felt my heart was going to break from the rib cage. He looked so sad and scared. The betrayal in his eyes was so much visible that broke my heart.

"No, I can't"

"Val, do it. You can do it!" even he was taunting me with his sad eyes.

I started to panic "No…no…I can't" there was no way out of this I had to do it. But I didn't want to do it. He was standing before me, the same as I remembered him the last time we said goodbye. I knew he was dead by now. Probably died of old age, probably found someone better and married her, they probably had kids. But here he was standing at the same boy he once was and I couldn't do it.

"Do it!" the voice said it again, this time it sounded more fierce.

Tears were spilling out of my eyes so uncontrollably my vision was blurred. I buried my face with my hands still holding the gun.

"Val, do it!" he was pleading me like he was begging me to end his suffering. But he was fine, he wasn't suffering. I shook my head as I saw him through blurred eyes. Even his eyes were pleading.

I pointed the gun at him with shaking hand, making a decision but I couldn't make myself pull the trigger. More tears fell down my cheeks. Why do I care? He was dead! So many years went by, he was long gone. It didn't matter if I shoot him now. No matter how many times I told myself that he was dead, he was standing right in front of me.

I tried to steady my gun. I never once had a problem with shaking hands when I hold a gun, but this time I was barely holding it. Sobbing uncontrollably I felt like everything was falling apart.

"I can't" I kept telling myself but here I was standing in front of his pleading eyes, pointing a gun at him.

"Do it!" Said the voice once again.

I knew I had to pull the trigger, I knew I had to do it. He was dead. He was dead already it didn't matter. A sob escaped me as I pulled the safety off. He was dead. He was dead. I kept repeating like a mantra.

I tried very hard to stable my shaking arm and aimed with blurry eyes. My finger found the trigger.  
"I'm so sorry," I said just before I heard the loud bang.

* * *

 _ **Eric**_

I heard her gasp next to me the moment she pulled the trigger. I looked up at her. The moment she understood where she was she quickly hid her face with her hands and her dark red hair fell making a protective wall between me and her.

Her shoulders were shaking and it took me a while to understand that she was actually crying. I didn't know what to do and before I know it I raised my hand and placed it on her shoulder. She flinched slightly at my touch and looked the other way.

Her fear was the most current one. Afraid that you would hurt someone that you care about. It made me want to ask who was the boy that she just killed, but I knew better than asking questions. He looked very young but I didn't dismiss that it might be her previous mentor. She wouldn't tell me something personal. She was always closed off to personal information and right now seeing her crying was something new as well. I guess she was somehow like me, hiding her emotions behind a serious face. Now she was crying her eyes out in front of me it made her look so vulnerable.

I kept quiet even when something in me just wanted to make her feel better. I knew that if I didn't acknowledge the fact that she was showing weakness in front of me it would be better.

Her hair was still in the way of me seeing her face but I could still feel her shoulders shaking. She took her time taking deep breaths and brushing off the tears from her eyes, but she didn't look up at me.

I felt awkward with my hand on her shoulder so I removed it just when she spoke.

"Can I go?" she asked with rasp voice. She quickly cleared her throat and stared at something in front of her, but her curly hair was blocking me. For some reason, I wanted to just reach out and pull her hair away so I could see her face. I knew she was hiding on purpose, she didn't want me to see her weak. And the fact that I just saw her fear it wasn't in my favor too.

I looked at the monitor and back at her. I was somehow worried. I didn't like her results.

"Not yet, do you know how long were you there?" I asked her and she shook her head still not looking at me.

"You were there for six minutes" this time she looked up and I was met with her green eyes that were still kind of glassy. She didn't know what that meant. She didn't know why was I concerned and to be honest I didn't know either. What difference did it make?

"Is that suppose to mean something?" she asked me and I pressed my lips feeling the cold metal ring on the side of my lips.

Instead of answering her I asked her a question that could probably be the answer to the question I had all along "Were you aware in there?" she looked confused but then she nodded  
"Yes, why weren't I supposed to be?"

I exhaled sharply and massaged my temple. Of course, she was Divergent. She was born before the war, what was I thinking that she wouldn't be? I looked up at her she was looking at me with confusion in her eyes, desperately wanting an answer. This world was so new to her, she wasn't even aware of how dangerous this gets. If Jeanine knew…she had one more thing that could get her claws into.

My internal struggle was – why I even cared. Why did I care that she was Divergent? I was here just to mentor her, nothing more. Caring was not my kind of thing and sure I wasn't going to start now. But my confidence about it was ruined when I look how scared in this particular moment she was. How vulnerable she was, despite the fact that she always hid her emotions. She was showing them now and I knew how much that cost her. I couldn't even imagine what would it feel like if I put down my walls in front of someone. Not that I didn't do it already while I was with her a couple of times.

"Eric you scare me, please tell me what I did wrong?" she pulled me out of my thoughts.

"You didn't do anything wrong, except for the part of being aware, but that you can't control" I looked once again at the computer showing her results. Six minutes was good, she could pass as long as she kept that up.

"So why is that look on your face? Am I in trouble?" I didn't even know what face I was making but I doubted it was my serious one. Maybe I too just became vulnerable.

"Why did it took you six minutes to complete it, when you knew it wasn't real and you could have just shot him?" I asked her seriously. She looked away from me once again hiding behind her hair.

"I don't want to talk about it!" she said coldly making it known that it wasn't something I want to push, but I didn't care. I wanted answers and she had to give them to me.

"Why didn't you killed him sooner Val!" I pushed the subject slightly raising my voice. She started to nervously tap with her foot. For the short time, I knew her I could read her… very well. Her emotions not so good but the little things she does remind me so much of myself that it made her easy to read.  
Right now tapping her foot like that, she was irritated I knew If I pushed her again she would lash out at me. But the thing was that I didn't care how much she argued with me, even when we both were stubborn, I wanted answers.

"Val, answer me" this time with more authority knowing that she can't pass an order. Something I figured out during our training and now wasn't any different.  
She huffed and quickly turned her head to me. She was fighting tears and she was trying to hide them, but I could see them clearly – clouding her forest green eyes.

"Because, Eric, It's hard to kill someone who you haven't seen how he died in real life." She yelled at me. Her foot was still tapping nervously. She was glaring daggers at me and I for once had the taste of my medicine. I think that she was the only one, beside me, that could make that kind of look so chilling. She bit the inside of her cheek and continued "It's hard to pull the trigger and see how it was you who killed him! I knew he was dead by now. Hell, he had been dead for a long…long time…but it still sucks standing in front of someone who you cared about and ending their life." As fast as she looked at me she looked the other way.

"Can I go now or are you going to ask me more personal questions? Didn't you see enough?" she spat out. Her temper was making me frustrated. I wanted to know more, but I was sure the minute I asked her she would lash out soon after I would and it would end in an argument that won't lead to anywhere

"Go, but do me a favor and don't tell anyone that you were aware." as if there was some sort of race she quickly rose up from the chair and ran to the door slamming it behind her. I wasn't even sure if she heard me.

I sighed and stood up making my way to Max's office. Some people were right, she was like me. With her temper, the walls that she had built, the comments she makes. I never stood on the other side of conflicts. I was always that person who hid well behind mask, wall and snarky comments that piss of people. Now I was still that guy but my opponent was just the same. Four was right, I didn't see it then but now I did, when I spend more time with her. She was going to become the second Eric and some part of me couldn't be more proud.

I knocked on Max's door and I heard him answer. I opened the door and made my way inside of his office. It was bigger than the rest of the leader's offices, filled with tons of documents. I always thought how the hell he finds the thing he needed. Mine office rarely looked like that and when it did I was always quick to finish my job, so I could at least see where my desk was.

"How did her fear simulation go?" he asked me not even looking up from his file before him. I sat on the chair in front of his desk and put my ankle on my knee. I looked around but I had been so many times here that there was nothing new to see.  
"The same as all initiates."

He looked up at me and there was a question lingering on his face. "Something unusual?"

"She was aware, but it took her six minutes so I don't see a problem. If she keeps it up it's just one less thing" he nodded in understanding.

"I was suspecting that she might be. Is it obvious?" he asked holding his pen above the file.

"Not in this one. We'll see how her other fears are."

He didn't ask more questions about it. I knew that if he wanted to see how she did he could read the report about it. It would give him more information that I would.

We fell into a comfortable silence. He started to write again on his file, but when he noticed me still sitting on the chair he glanced up at me.

"Do you know something about her previous mentor?" I asked him. I didn't know why I was so curious, but whoever he was she really fought well. I didn't miss the way she reacted and I definitely hit a sore spot with her as I did today with that boy in her fear. I started to wonder if I was going to see her previous mentor in her fears or if he was the boy. Even when she hides behind seriousness I could still see some strong emotions emerging.

"There is probably more information about him in the books or the children story about her" Max shrugged and his eyes were moving from the papers to me and back "You were from Erudite, don't you remember the story? I know that it's a story only Erudite kids know" No matter how hard I tried I couldn't remember the story. I wasn't even sure if I was even told.

"I wouldn't be asking you if I knew it," I said boringly.

"Well how should I know then?" asked Max kind of jokingly. "I'm sure Jeanine has a lot of books about her, not just the children one but I doubt she would give them and I won't waste my time reading them either." I knew he was right, but for some reason, I wanted to read them. She was a mystery and even if she ravel little bits of her past one in the time it wasn't enough for me. I desperately wanted to know how she worked. What made her this way, why would she hide behind walls and don't talk about her past? I knew she wouldn't tell me so the next best thing was to read the book.

"How her training with you went yesterday?" Max asked breaking me from my thoughts.

"Very well. We spared. I saw where she was lacking so I'm working on bettering it."

"I didn't understand what got Four so scared out of her?" I let out a small laugh.

"He can't handle me what makes you think he can handle her. " I replied wittily. Max let out a laugh and shook his head.

"Remind me to not sit in the same room with you two. I'm not even sure how you two are still alive. I would have guessed you would kill each other by now"

"We are not that alike" I tried to deny it but Max didn't look convinced.

"Because you haven't seen you two from another perspective. She's way too much like you already, now you're training her and I'm afraid that what Four said it will become true" he joked, but I didn't laugh.

To be honest it wasn't that hard training her. She knew what she had to do, she didn't complain when I tell her she needed to do something else, she didn't complain that she was tired even though I could clearly see that she was. Despite the small comments that she makes it was nothing I couldn't handle and I even find myself very amused by her. If there was someone else saying the same things she did I would have probably killed him by now. It all increased my curiosity about her previous mentor more.

"Sometimes she looks like a soldier," I said quietly more to myself than to Max.

"What do you mean?" he narrowed his eyes at me.

"When I order she does it without a second thought. Yesterday I was able to push her really hard so I can see on what level of training she is." I shrugged looking away from him "I don't know it seemed strange that she didn't even complain or question me"

"Didn't we establish the fact that she's nowhere near ordinary initiate. We hear those things from initiates that were not trained before, hell we even hear those complaints from Dauntless born. But we both know that we are lacking in information about her, she wouldn't tell any of us and we are left with picking up the pieces." He surged while his fingers were playing with the pen in his hands. "We all pick up something from our previous mentors and trainers but we are left guessing about him, we don't have facts. To be honest, why do we need them? Apparently whoever he was and however, he taught her it was good for her. "

I agree with him but there was still this nagging feeling that I needed to know more and even I didn't know why was that need for information.

"She picked up a lot from him,"

"And she'll pick up a lot from you too, that's why I wanted you to be the one to train her" he pressed his lips with a slight smile and I took my cue to leave.  
I nodded at him and stood up, leaving his office. I didn't know why was that sudden urge to know more. I desperately wanted to see what made her click. What made her act like that. Even people that passed their initiation years ago didn't act so trained as her. My head started to hurt from all of this trying to figure things out with minimum information. I massaged my temple, leaving the previous thoughts behind with one last thought trailing behind it.

I need to find her book.


	8. Shopping and Cake

_**Let's get something clear, if you haven't figured it out already, Valeria is not a good person. I guess with her life before that it shows why she's like that, but after all: she will do stuff, manipulate people, hurt people and don't be surprised if she does it without blinking an eye.**_  
 _ **This one is a little bit short, but next one won't be ;)  
Once again thank you all for reading ^^**_

* * *

"Are you here?" I heard Tris calling me from the door.

I was sitting on my bed, leaning on the wall. Reflecting on the things that happened to me, I almost didn't hear her coming in. The fear simulator was the worst thing I could possibly live through. It kept repeating over and over in my head, always in rewind and it was driving me crazy. I wanted to get it out of my head. I wanted to stop seeing his face as I pointed the gun at him. I was happy that I didn't see his lifeless body, that would probably ruin me.

I never knew what I feared until I faced it today and it was scary. The other thing most scary than the fear, was the fact that Eric saw it and then I broke down in front of him. But I couldn't hold it like I did yesterday. Even though I knew it wasn't real I couldn't shake the feeling that I was the one that killed him. That I was the one to pull the trigger and end his life. I knew he was dead, but it felt so real and Eric saw it.

I cursed myself that I let my guard down in front of him. That I showed him that I was weak and so vulnerable and I promised myself that I won't happen again. I couldn't let people see that I was hurt, that I wasn't okay, that I broke down every night when I go to bed and wake-up every morning like nothing happened.

I knew he would see every other fear I have and that bugged me so bad. He and the other leaders would know everything that scares me and I didn't like that. I knew I had to learn to trust them, but it was way too early for me to talk about trust. That was going to show very clearly if Eric could be trusted or not. He saw my fears, he'd seen other's too, but I didn't think they would mind as much as I did.

I felt a soft hand on my shoulder pulling me from the repeating image in my mind. I focused on the person and for a minute I forgot that Tris was actually calling for me.

"Hey, are you okay?" she asked with concern on her face and sat on the side on my bed looking at me. I shook my head not trusting my voice. I couldn't break down in front of her too, even though she looked like a good person and friend. The sound of footsteps was heard entering the room and Tris turned toward the sound. I already knew that it was Christina just from the way she walked.

"I thought we're having a girls day?" Her eyes moved from me to Tris and she sat on the bed next to mine. "Hey, what happened?"

"I bet it was the fear simulator, huh?" suggested Tris and her gaze moved to me. I was looking at one spot in particular in front of me the image of his blue eyes looking at me with fear. I knew it wasn't real I needed to keep repeating it in order to make myself feel better but it didn't work.

"Yeah, it was awful" I murmured, still not meeting their eyes. Christina let out a small laugh.

"Yeah, tell me about it. What was your fear?" she asked like she asked me what my favorite color was. My head shot in her direction, frowning at her.

"Why would I tell you that?" I asked her and I could see her happy face slowly fading and being replaced by a serious one.

She shrugged "I don't know because I can tell you one of mine, " she had hope in her eyes and I could see that she was trying to find something about me. Not specifically my fear just anything she could get.

"I don't care what gets you scared and I'm not going to share mine either," I said monotonously and looked at Tris waiting for her to say something stupid like Christina but she just pressed her lips and looked at Christina instead.

"Damn, okay," she said and stood up. "Let's get you shopping then, maybe that would cheer you up" Tris nodded and stood up too motioning for me to do the same. I didn't know how shopping would be a 'nice' way to cheer me up when the bad mood would be waiting for me when I come back. A part of me didn't even want to come back here so I wouldn't feel alone in this empty room.

"You do know I don't like shopping but I need the clothes?" I asked smiling at her. I pulled up my cheery face and even though there were still hunting thoughts in my mind I pushed them away. Determined to have fun and make friends.

"I know and I know you're so desperate that you're willing to shop with me, " she joked and I could see Tris laughing and shaking her head.

"Never be that desperate" advised me Tris and we started walking toward the shops.

Half way through there I realized I didn't have any money and stopped dead in my tracks. The girls turned around with questionable looks on their faces.

"I don't have any money," I told them. They both laughed at me and started to pull me toward a shop.

"We have points here, you have some too. Not a lot, but it will do until you become a full member." Explained Tris as we made our way through the racks of dark clothing.

"You can always make Eric buy you stuff" blabbed out Christina which earned her very confused looks from me and Tris.

"Oh, I bet he'll be so pleased to spend his points on girls clothing more or less on me" I laughed feeling like I was letting go and having fun.

Christina shrugged and continue with the imaginary scenario "He's your mentor, he needs to invest in you"

The three of us laughed and I felt Tris's arm, pulling me toward one section of the shop.

"Don't listen to her, sometimes she's like that," she whispered in my ear.

"I heard that!" Christina yelled, making us sneaker. I felt like the typical girl and unknowingly I let my guard and mask down in front of them but I didn't mind. It reminded me of the times when I had friends like them and we would go shopping. It was the same as now. Talk about girl stuff and chat about boys. I always had two sides.

One that was the typical girl in some moments and the other that was more boyish – liking things that most girls won't. I didn't get the chance to sulk on my lost friends because Tris was already showing me a bunch of clothes and Christina was shoving some in my hands.

"This is way too many clothes guys!" I started to protest "Let me become a full member with my own closet and then we could come and buy the whole store, okay?"

"Just the basics, no problem" brushed off Christina and kept shoving more clothes in my hands. The pile, which I was holding was nothing close to the basics and I started to ask myself what did I get myself into.

"Help me!" I looked at Tris with pleading eyes, but she shook her head, slightly biting her lip holding a laughter.

"You asked for it," she said as Christina was on a spree.

"I didn't know what I got myself into. Help!" I started to panic as I saw Christina shoving more clothes into my hands. She was manically picking through the racks murmuring to herself. Sometimes she would pull out a clothing and reach it toward me looking at my hidden, behind the pile of clothing, body. She would smile or frown making me question how was she even able to see that it would fit me, but I wasn't going to doubt her abilities.

Tris didn't make a move to help me, even better she was looking through the racks herself.

"Traitor" I whispered at her while I was being pushed toward the changing rooms. If shopping with Christina didn't show up as my fear I was sure it would show up after this day. I could say that this was hell for me. Usually, when I shopped it was more like – walking, seeing what I like, changing in it and buying it afterward. Simple. But not with Christina.

* * *

An hour later I was on verge of fainting and I desperately wanted to sit somewhere. My sore muscles from my training yesterday and this morning were protesting so hard that it felt like this was the worst training I could get. Eric's weight lifting and sparing was nothing compared to being a model for Christina.

After all, I ended up buying just a few things from the whole pile of clothing that was chosen for me. Not that I didn't like them it was more of a space thing. I needed a big closet where I could sort all of the clothes and I was lacking one now. I bought some shoes that looked so badass. One that was like my training shoes and one that was in high heels and I was on cloud nine. I noticed that women here didn't like to wear high heels shoes which in my opinion would make them look total badass, but there were still some exceptions.

"Are you happy now?" asked Christina and I nodded rapidly. I had to admit that I had fun with them. Even it was an exhausting hell for me, I had fun.

"Now you need to get a tattoo and you'll be officially Dauntless" suggested Tris pointing at the tattoo prior.

"That I'll do once I truly become Dauntless," I said, but that still didn't stop us from going in.

We started to look around when a girl with multi colored hair stepped out of the back room. She had a lot of piercing on her face, making it look brutal and tattoo sleeves. I didn't like the way she looked and I was never going to get to that point but I admired her artistry.

She scanned me up and down and a surprised look appeared on her face.

"So you're Valeria" it wasn't a question it was more like a statement. I could see she was excited as she stretched out her hand toward me, motioning me to come closer. I slightly frowned and looked at Tris and Chris but they were looking at some tattoo whispered and didn't pay attention to me. I stepped closer to the girl, I wasn't scared of her. I could probably take her down even with the bags in my hands but I didn't want to get to this. She kept motioning me to come even when I was close to her. She reached for my right hand a little bit uneasy maybe she saw the untrusty look on my face.

"Give me your right hand. I want to see those tattoos you have there" I could see how excited she was, like a child that just saw something unbelievable. I stretched out my right hand, which had the circle of entwined branches with thorns and herbs on the back of it. Her fingers were soft as she pulled me toward the light and her eyes were shifting hungrily.

"That's so cool. What does it mean" she asked lifting her head quickly at me before she returned her gaze at the tattoo. I wasn't relaxed by the fact that she wanted to know, but I guessed it was pure curiosity.

"Um… It shows that I'm a part of a group that has certain knowledge" I explained with a little information I could give her. She seemed pleased with my answer and reached for my left hand running her fingers through the rune there.

"That one is cool too. What does it mean?" I frowned at her a little bit. She was starting to get on my nerves with her questions about the tattoos. I felt like I was being questioned by the police below this light and didn't like the feeling of it. I pulled my hand out of hers. I didn't mind telling her but she was looking at me like it was the most fascinating thing she had ever seen.

"Am I asking you about all your tattoos on your sleeves?" I asked her coldly and I could see the change in her expression as I said this.

"Okay, okay I get it, it means something a lot and you don't want to share it. I hate people asking me the same thing, sorry" she raised her hands as a sign of surrender and smiled at me, showing me that she wasn't the bad guy here. My expression softened a little bit. I appreciated the fact that she acknowledged her boundaries. "I'm just curious about your tattoos you know, made before the war and all"

I shrugged at her looking at some of the designers on the wall. "There is nothing special in them"

"So do you want to make you a tattoo or something?" she asked cheerfully and felt bad that I was instantly so cold and serious.

"No, I have something in mind, but it will be when I become a full member" I forced a smile on my face. "I was more like pushed here," I said and nodded to Chris and Tris looking at something and talking quietly. The girl nodded her head knowingly but didn't step away to mind her own business. She kept looking at me.

"Piercing then?" she asked. She was desperate to work on me, like that would give her some points. _'Oh I put a tattoo on Valeria, yeah it was awesome'_ I could see her bragging. I smirked at her eagerness and made a step closer to her.

"When I decided I'll come straight to you okay?" she seemed to shine more when I said that as some big fan would do.

"Sure" she simply answered. It was so easy to manipulate some people and this girl was not an exception. I was sure that whatever I wanted she could give it to me, gladly and I liked having that kind of power over the people.

"What's your name?" I asked her but little did she know I sucked at remembering names.

"Catherine, but you can call me Cat" she smiled. It was strange how girl looking so badass like her was drooling all over me now, smiling and looking at me with doe eyes.

I smirked at her "Okay Cat, I'll see you very soon then" I said almost like a whisper and if someone didn't know me he would probably say that I was flirting with the girl. But I was just making her squirm in order to fall in my trap and be my little pet running after me. I very well knew people like her and how to make them think that they were important. Her eyes shone brightly and with a small smile she stepped away and returned to her job.  
A small satisfying smile appeared on my face as I made my way to the girls.

"Where did you go?" asked Tris looking around as if something would indicate where I was just a minute ago.

"Talking with Cat" I shrugged. They didn't say anything less and we spent a few minutes there just browsing through the tattoos.

* * *

It was dinner time when I finally had the chance to sit down. The food tasted even better when you were hungry as hell. The table on which we sat on slowly started to fill with people, who chatted about their day and jobs.

"Did you guys have your girls day?" asked Four with one hand behind Tris's back making my heart twitch in my chest from the affection he was showing.

"Yep, I almost died. Never again" I joked as I ate my dinner. I was quite pleased with myself today. I got to bond with Tris and Christina and I could probably say that I made friends with them. I stopped thinking about my fear, but I knew that would fade away the moment I was alone. For the time being, I was happy.

"You say that now but one day you will need to go shopping and I'll be there," said Christina which sounded more like a threat.

"Are you threatening me?" I asked her way too seriously because she wasn't sure how to react. I could see her wondering if I was joking or not, quickly making a plan how to answer if it was one or the other.

"No, I'm just saying," she said under her breath breaking the eye contact and looking at her plate like a scolded child. I wasn't surprised by her reaction I was so unpredictable and they were all walking on nails with me, never knowing when they pushed too much and it would back fire.

"I was joking Chris," I said a little bit annoyed and continue eating. I could see with my side glance how Uriah was picking through his food and sometimes look up at me like he wanted to say something but at the same time be against it.

"You want to ask something?" I looked at him tensely. He was surprised that I even noticed it and quickly nodded.

"Is the food the same?"

"Yes, I don't see some particular foods, but overall, yes" I answered honestly. If it wasn't something personal I'd no problem answering, but there was still this nagging feeling in my head telling me that maybe they were not fully aware of their surroundings or history and I might say something that they shouldn't know.

"Was there any cake?" he asked me again making me slightly laugh at the stupid question.

I nodded with a smile on my face "Different kinds of cakes yes. Have you guys tried cheesecake?" I looked around and they all shook their heads. Uriah looked horrified.

"You guys had cheese in your cake? Who would do something like that?" I started to laugh so hard but I was the only one laughing. "Why are you laughing you're crazy, who puts cheese on a cake?" he said very outrageously.

"Man, the past was insane" shook his head Zeke and everyone on the table looked shocked.

"It's not real cheese it's more like a cream" I explained but hey still looked disgusted and like I just insulted their religion or something. I kept laughing.  
"Why are you laughing?" asked Four.

"Because the looks on your faces are priceless," I said breathlessly wiping the tear off. My stomach was hurting me from all of that laughter and I was still slightly giggling just from seeing their still filled with discussed faces.

"So you had cake back then, why aren't you eating cake now. I haven't seen you have one. And Dauntless cake is the best" resumed the subject Uriah, like the cheesecake accident didn't happen.

I shrugged and took a bite from my food "I don't like cake". The minute the words left my mouth the whole table stopped what they were doing and all eyes were on me. I looked at each and every one of them and their eyes wide, mouths were open and eyebrows were lifted.

In a matter of seconds, the entire table burst with angry and outraged comets that were hard for me to pick up. There were some _'Are you crazy?'_ , _'What is wrong with you?'_ , _' How can you not like cake?'_ , _'Man, I can't believe you're sitting with us'_ , _'And I thought you could be my friend'_ and so on and so on. I was looking at them shocked unknowingly how to respond while they kept ranting about how bad of a person I was. If the argument with Four wasn't enough for them to make them hate me this was the thing.

"It's just too sweet. I can never eat the whole thing anyway. But see if I had a pudding or something else, that I might eat" I said in my defense but they were all looking at me like I committed treason.

"Oh I see, you don't like chocolate cake, but you like your cheese cake?" said very disappointed Zeke shaking his head. I started to laugh once again.

"You don't deserve to be in Dauntless," said Christina shaking her head too. I couldn't believe how serious they were over a stupid cake. There were a couple of more unpleasant comets toward me and I was just laughing my ass off. I haven't laughed like that in a long time and this day officially was the best day I had since I was here. Besides the morning, I had it turned out very well in the end.

After all, by the end of the night, I was still part of their group, just because I was new and too interesting to pass on and abandon me for my crimes of hating cake. I promised to not bring it up and to actually have a slice of cake in front of me so it wouldn't look like I wasn't fitting in. They didn't look happy, but promised to never mention it again like it never happened. Which was fine by me, as long as they don't bug me for not liking too much sweet cake.  
The fear didn't emerge in my mind when I laid on my bed due to my tiredness. I closed my eyes for what felt like a minute before I felt the covers being pulled off of my warm body once again.


	9. The Spar

_**This one came out very long, but I just didn't like the feeling of cutting it. I think that next chapter will be long too so...more for you to read!  
**_  
 _ **Thank you all for reading it. ^^**_

* * *

I was sitting once again on the chair with Eric next to me. He was typing something on the computer in front of him and I was patiently waiting for him to finish so I could live through my fear. This particular part of the day wasn't one of my favorites. I liked the morning run, even though they were so early. There was something so calming about the empty streets and the sun almost showing off to the horizon. I wasn't stranger to the morning run so I found it very familiar and relaxing at the same time.

I knew that today Eric wouldn't be so kind to me and we would train after my fear. He didn't like me missing on any day of training. Eric pushing me hard on our previous training session and all the runs we had done, I started to feel in a good shape as I was once. I didn't want to admit it but the years of me being frozen in the stupid capsule had a number on me. But now I was catching up.

"Okay, I'm ready. Just steady your breathing" he finally said turning toward me with a syringe in his hand looking very ominous. If someone just woke up or didn't know why they were here with this scary pierced and tattooed guy with a syringe in his hands, they would probably freak the hell out. Eric was intimidating, but when he had a weapon or in this case a syringe he can scare the shit out of you. Of course, I knew him and even though I didn't trust him quite well I wasn't scared of the look on his face.

"How long we'll be doing this?" I asked him. Even though I saw my first fear yesterday I was impatient for this to be over.

"Until you ran out of fears, then we move to stage tree where you face your fears" he explained and started to move the syringe closer to my neck. I shifted away from him letting him know that I wasn't done yet with the questions. He looked kind of pissed that I was wasting his time but I didn't care.

"So you don't know how many fears I have?" I asked. He sighed and dropped his hand with the syringe in his lap and looked at me.

"No, I don't. That's why we are doing this" he was irritated.

"How many do you have?" I asked but I knew he won't answer.

"I'm not telling you this" he groaned with close teeth. I smiled at him innocently. If I pushed him a little bit who was here to stop him from actually plunging that syringe in my neck just to shut me up.

"Why not, you see my fears, even when I don't want to. The least you can do is tell me how many fears you have"

"I'm not telling you. So now why don't you shut your mouth and let me inject this so I could get a little bit quietness before our long day of training" he was very frustrated I could see how the thought of just injecting me without my submission crossed his mind.

"Just tell me what is the lower number of fears?" I said quickly when I saw him lifting up the syringe.

"Four" he groaned and his eyes cold ready to kill me on the spot. I froze and looked up at him with wide eyes

"Wait, four?" I asked a question again. "You mean like Four, the person Four?" I was thinking out loud when it hit me "Oh my God, his name came from his fears. Damn! That's low right?" he flinched as yet another question slipped or maybe he just didn't like the subject. His jaw clenched and his eyes were throwing daggers at me, but there was something else in them.

"You're very smart. Should have picked Erudite" he murmured and started to pull my hair out of my neck. His fingers gently touched my skin there making goosebumps erupt on it.

"It doesn't take an idiot to figure it out. And are you saying that I'm not good enough to be here and that my place is in Erudite? I'm sure if I just say something Jeanine will be very happy to let me in her faction" I looked at him sideways. I was frustrated. I knew I was very good at what I could do and be here wasn't a problem. I could probably be in every faction here and still fit in nicely. But I didn't want that I wanted to be here.

He sighed in frustration I could see the rage boiling in him. "You're twisting my words. Can you just shut your mouth and let me inject it?" he was talking behind gripped teeth and could see how bad he was holding himself not to do something stupid. But I was frustrated too.

"Because I chose Dauntless for a reason, if I wanted the stupid Erudite I would have chosen it!" I yelled looking his eyes on him. Suddenly his hand gripped my neck very hard and he pulled me toward him. I started to struggle but I felt the cold pang on the side of my neck.

"Stay there as long as you can and steady your breathing" he snarled in my ear making me shiver. I couldn't believe he just did that. Well I mean…I expected it from him I was pushing his buttons, but he was driving me crazy with his stupid comments that I had to choose Erudite. It wasn't the first time and I won't be the last one either. But still, in his frustration he advised me.

I started to drift off and I felt the strong hand around my neck slowly pulling away and his cold voice in my ear telling me to be brave.

.

I found myself on the familiar forest path. There was cold air blowing my hair, making me shiver slightly. The sound of the leaves shaking on the trees was somehow calming. I didn't notice how much I'd missed this place. It was bringing so many memories. I looked around trying to mop the feeling of everything around me when something in front of me caught my attention.

My heart clenched in my chest as I saw the familiar figure in front of me. But I couldn't see his face. He was turned with his back to me. His brown hair was tied on the nape of his neck as always, making a small smile appear on my face. His clothes were just the same as always. With his gray track pants and the black hoodie that looked so warm against him.

Suddenly sadness filled me as I step closer to the figure. I desperately wanted to see his face, at least one more time. But he didn't turn around he started to jog lightly.

I started to jog after him.  
"Wait!" I yelled with the wind blowing around us. He was a few steps away from me but I couldn't reach him when I extended my arm. He started to run faster and me after him. Desperately trying to catch up to him.

"Eli! Wait!" I yelled but he didn't turn around, he kept running away from me. My heart started to hurt and tears started to pick in my eyes when I understood he was not going to turn around. He kept running so did I, with little hope that maybe I could catch up to him and make him turn around. But whenever I tried to push myself to run faster he increased his speed.

"Eli!" I yelled at him, the tears clouding my vision. "Plese stop!" my voice started to shake with sobs, but he didn't turn around. This wasn't like him, he would have heard me by now and looked back. Just like the other time, he would see that I wasn't following and he would come.  
But he kept running and I could feel my lungs burning. I was in good shape, but I couldn't catch him.

"Eli…please" I sobbed watching his back as he ran away from me. The tears started to spill out of my eyes making it hard for me to see. I didn't see the root of the tree because my eyes were on the figure in front of me. I tripped and fell on the cold ground. "Eli…stop" I sobbed. Panic ran through me as I understood he was not turning back for me. He kept running away. His figure being further and further away. I couldn't stand up, my legs were too weak from the running and I was sobbing on the cold ground cover in leaves, watching his figure slowly fading away from my clouded vision.

"Eli" I sobbed quietly but he was way too far away to even hear me. Dread washed over me. I was alone, he didn't turn around this time. I didn't get the chance to see his face, he just left me. But that wasn't like him. He would never just leave me without turning around. Deep down I knew he wasn't real, but the hole in my heart was painfully reminding me what I just experienced.

Through the sobs and the tears in my eyes, I once again looked up the figure wasn't there anymore. He left me. He didn't turn around, he just left me.

.

I gasped sharply and my eyes flung open. I wasn't on the forest path anymore I was on the blunt room on the stupid metal chair. Realisation hit me hard and covered my face with my hands and my hair made a protective wall between me and Eric who was sitting quietly next to me. I showed weakness once again in front of him. Once again a broke down in front of him as silent tears fell on my cheeks.

My heart hurt so bad and all I wanted was to trash everything and cry my eyes out. It wasn't real. It felt so real and that hurt me even more. I was fine not seeing him again and only in my memory, but now that I saw him so close to me and couldn't even reach him. It hurt and I could do was sob in front of Eric.  
I heard him shift in his chair but he didn't say anything probably giving me time. But little did he know after this fear I wasn't going to be okay for a long time.

I knew I had to straighten my mask and act like it didn't bother me, but it was too late now. He saw more than he should have. He was the only person here that saw me break down in tears and even if I didn't like it he was going to be the only one.

"Was that your previous mentor?" I heard him ask quietly and the pain in my heart increased. Rage filled me as I shot my head to him. My eyes still teary but I threw him the coldest look I could give him.

"Can you not ask a question just this time?" I spat out and I could see how his face from slightly warm and friendly turned into his cold one, immediately putting his mask on.

"Yeah, I could ask you the same thing as you didn't shut up earlier" he snapped back at me his eyes not moving from mine. "So don't mind me asking one question. Was that your mentor?" He insisted instantly making me jump up to my feet all self-control lost in the minute.

"Why do you even care who that was? Can you not be an ass for just a few minutes a let me go eat lunch before our training session where I could beat the crap out of you?" I yelled with my finger pointed at him. He was furious as he too stood up and with just a few quick steps he was in front of me.

"Watch your mouth Valeria!" he snarled his eyes were burning holes in mine "I'm not Four who you can just shut up easily. I'm your leader!"

"Oh don't put the leader shit on me. I just lived through my worst fear and you just had to ask questions about it. Do I ask questions about your fears?!"  
"You know I could just as easily make you factionless" he threatened me, his eyes daring me to say something to oppose him.

I laughed at him "You said it yourself that I was way too precious for you to miss me. So why don't you try I'm sure Erudite will be happy if I join in!" I mocked him and I could see his jaw clenched so hard. He knew he couldn't do anything. They needed me here and I just used that to my advantage.

"I could always blow your brains out but I prefer to watch you bleed in front of me with your unconscious body on the training mat" his voice was so cold and his silver eyes were more like ice. For the first time, I saw him this cruel. It made my body shiver as I was sure he was very capable of that, his eyes won't even blink.

I lift up my chin at him and looked him with determination in my eyes. "At least I would give you a fair fight" My voice was now calm, but there was a little fear lingering around. For the first time since I was here, I felt fear. I made a step away from him, my eyes still watching him as if he would lash out at me if I wasn't looking and ready. I turned around only when I opened the door and left without saying anything else to him. I heard a loud bang coming from the room and I could only guess that something had been thrown at the wall.

* * *

I was sitting on the table with the group of friends near me. They were all chatting while I was staring at one spot on the table mindlessly eating my lunch. The images of my fear still lingered in my mind. The sadness and loneliness were still there as the image reminded itself over and over again in my mind. It felt so real and for a moment I wished it was real. I wished I could see him again. When I woke up from the simulation I wasn't crying because he left me, I was crying because I woke up years after and he wasn't here.

And then Eric with his stupid comment. What did he care if that was my previous mentor? He just had to ask the question and make me loose my temper. No one here dared even pushed me so much as he did and I could just as easily pushed him too. There were so many emotions running through me. I felt rage and I wanted the lunch to end so I could go and punch Eric in the face. I was sure that today wasn't going to be a spar. It was going to be a fight so we could both let out the build frustration toward the other. I was okay with this, maybe I would finally show him that I was a worthy opponent.  
I didn't feel that I was gripping my fork tightly until Tris's concern voice broke me from my vision of beaten up Eric in front of me.

"Val?" I looked up at the voice and all eyes were on me. "Are you okay?" everyone around me was waiting for the answer.  
I nodded and resumed my lunch "Yeah sure, just a little worked up" I said quietly.

"How did you fear simulation went?" asked Four and threw a cold glare at him.

"Why does everyone here want to know so badly how did it went and what I had for my hear?" I snapped at him making him shift uncomfortably in his seat.

"Everyone is just concern and curious about you" explained Tris in a soft voice like she was talking to a scared animal.

"Well don't. It's not your damn business!" I spat back at her, glaring seriously at all of the people on the table making sure they understand where their place was. I could feel the pent up frustration building up and I so badly wanted to punch something. I was waiting for someone to say something so the last drop could fall and make everything blew up.

"Are you sure you're okay. I could see the finger on your trough. Who did that?" asked very concerned Four which only made me even madder. I didn't usually show my frustration or any emotion for that matter but today, in particular, I was feeling like I wanted to beat the crap out of everyone and that was just because of Eric. I didn't know that his tight grip actually left me marks but now that I knew, this was one more thing that made me want to go to the training room and punch something.

"Eric, but don't worry I'll take care of him once I finish my lunch," I said smugly and continue eating. Neither of them said anything more to me. They continue with their conversations like nothing happened. Four was throwing me concern glances as well as Tris, but I didn't pay attention to them.

* * *

I entered the training room just to be met with Eric furiously punching the bag. He was quick and every move was priciest even though it was clear that he was furious.

"Don't waste your energy on the bag. You might make it easy for me to beat you" I yelled at him slightly smirking. He hit the bag one more time very hard and then looked at me. His eyes were cold as always. He was slightly out of breath but I could see the determination on his face.

"Get your ass on the mat!" He ordered. I was still intimidated by him but I knew how to throw him more off balance so I smiled sweetly at him and stood on the mat. His rage was still visible as he stood in front of me. "Don't think this would be an easy spar, Noobie"

"I didn't expect it would be," I said flatly and made the stance as he did them too.

We started to circle each other but I could see that both of us were starting to get impatient. He made a move to hit me and I blocked it. This was the time of showing him that I could fight good and I wasn't weak.

He advanced again trying to hit me but I blocked him again instantly reaching with my right hand to hit his face but he blocked it too. I might have had one fight with him so far but I was observing him, watching where he lacked.

"Come on, I don't have all day for games" the minute he said that I launched at him with full force hitting him on the side of his torso making him grunt. The instant my fist connected with his body I felt his fist on my jaw sending me flying on the side. I quickly tried to stable my footing as his fist connected with my body. I didn't back down throwing a couple of punches at him.

This was definitely not a spar. This was just aimlessly punching each other letting out the build up frustration. We were both each other's punching bags but that didn't stop either of us.

I didn't know for how long we punched each other. My body hurt everywhere and I was panting so hard. I could see that Eric was in the same state as me trying to catch his breath from the rage and the fight. Sweat mixed with blood was dripping out of his bruised face and I could barely see him with one of my eyes badly swelling.

We were both on the verge of exhaustion but that didn't stop us throwing more punches at each other even though they were way too sloppy and weak. The rage in me was already gone when the bruises on Eric became more and more. He wasn't left behind with the hits on my body as I could barely move anything.  
We both launch at each other desperately wanting to throw off balance the other one. We were both sweaty and out of breath as our legs were dancing on the mat and our hands gripping the body of the other one. We were both stubborn as hell and neither one of us backed down during the fight and I knew until one of us was down the fight wasn't over.

I felt his legs moving beneath mine throwing me off balance I felt that I was falling and my hands gripped his biceps tightly. If I was going to fall he was coming with me. My weight falling was all it took to through him off balance too and he started falling with me.

He was usually standing on the mat like a tree but this time with the exhaustion he couldn't keep his balance.

We both hit the mat with a grunt. I could feel his heavy body on mine as he fell on me, knocking the air out of my lungs. I could feel him slightly lifting his body, but he was way too weak to move more. His head was on the side of mine I could hear him breathe heavily on my ear, sending shivers down my warm body.

The position was very compromised and if someone didn't know better he might think something else than what it looked like. I was still trying to catch my breath beneath his warm body and he didn't try to move away from me and I didn't care the slightest. I was so tired all I wanted was to sleep.

I felt his head lift up and his eyes locked on mine. His breath was still heavy but not as much as it was in the beginning. His expression was cold, sweat was sliding on his face and a few locks of his messy hair were stuck on his forehead. He surprised me when he let out a small laugh and rolled himself off of me, laying on his back next to me. I started to laugh with him and I didn't miss how crazy we looked.

We beat the crap out of each other and then we started to laugh. My stomach was hurting when I laughed but that didn't stop me.

"Better?" He asked between laughter.

"Damn, that was better than sex" I said breathlessly making us both laugh even more.

"I hate to admit it but you're the only one that is able to fight that long with me"

"Maybe because I'm as stubborn as you are," I suggested looking at the ceiling.

"Yeah maybe, but no one is even close matching me"

"Until that awesome old lady came" I said excited making him laugh beside me. I turned my head to the side looking at his face and there were a few bruises forming. His lip slightly split swelling where his piercing was.

"Man you look like shit!" I said chuckling. He threw me a side glance. If someone else told him this he might as well be dead, but not with me.

"You look like one too" he snarled at me holding his laughter. "We need to go to the infirmary your eye is swelling" he stood up with a grunt and looked down on me.

"Is there any chance of you carrying me?" I asked with the smallest hope. He shook his head and bent over me. His hands on my shoulders, he was just as tired as me but he was able to lift my limp body off of the floor. My legs were barely holding me but with his strong arm around me, we started to walk toward the infirmary me slightly giggling by the sight of us two beaten like hell.

* * *

The look on the nurse's face when she saw us was priceless. At first, she wasn't sure how to react to both us barely holding one another, but then she quickly pulled out of her shock state and rushed to us. She pulled me out of Eric's hand probably thinking that I was going to be less heavy to pull to the bed than Eric.

"Sit" she ordered to Eric and for maybe the first time he gladly obligated as he dropped on the bed. She pushed me to sit on the bed next to his before she started with the questions.

"What the hell happened?" her blue eyes were shifting to me and back at Eric, who brushed it off easily like it wasn't that big of a deal.

"Training session. Now fix her eye" he ordered but it was clear that he was nowhere near making orders here.

"It's not only her eyes I need to fix." The nurse said unhappily. "I need to look at her body if there is something broken. Go to the other room there will be someone there shortly to look at your injuries" she said firmly. Eric threw a quick look at me as if he was making sure that I was in the right hands and slowly walked away. When he closed the door the tense look on the nurse's face fell on me.

"Did he do that to you?" she asked as if he did it for fun. I frowned at her. I didn't know him that well but he sure didn't look like he liked hitting women for fun.

"Yes, but did you see his face?" I asked her like she was mentally unstable, which earned me not so pleasant look from her.

Now she looked more like a concerned friend than a scowling nurse. "Yes I saw his face, but he's not well known here for his good temper"

"Me neither" I shrugged. She let out a sigh and shook her head.

"Just be careful around him," she said quietly.

"I'm sure I can handle myself, I've lived after all," I said positively but she didn't agree with me.

The examination took longer than an expected. She put me into a bed rest and gave me something to drink telling me that will help me heal. I knew for a fact that Erudite made all the medicine and I was sure that the liquid she gave me came from there. She assured me to drink it and even though I wasn't quite sure of it I felt better.

I didn't like the fact that she told me to take it easy and lay down. For a person who loved to move and do something to tell him that he needs to lay down and relax was impossible. If only I had a good book to read maybe this time would pass really quickly but I didn't have to wait long before the door flung open. Very concern Four appeared with Tris tailing after him. They both looked at me like I was on my dying bed. I wasn't sure how I looked like but sure as hell Eric must have looked the same. During my pointless sitting here I desperately wanted to have my books and herbs. If I had them I definitely wasn't going to sit here. I would go home and mix something up to ease the pain and bruises. But I didn't have a thing and I had to heal the old fashionable way.

"Are you okay? I knew it was a matter of time before he put you into the infirmary" Four was mad. My eyes moved to Tris who had concern look on her face but she didn't say anything. She just stood beside my bed and observed my injuries.

"Yes, but did you see Eric's face?" I said again a little bit smugly.

"No, I don't care about him. I should report this to Max it's gone way too far. I should have gone to him when I saw your marks on your neck" he said a little bit too loud.

"Four, calm down, I can take care of myself" the anger that was gone during my fight with Eric was showing up again. Did I have to beat the shit out of Four too in order for the things between us to be okay?

"Clearly" he motioned with his hand toward my face. I frowned at him and looked at Tris for help but she pressed her lips and her hand went up on my shoulder which was slightly sore.

"He's right Val this was a really bad idea," she said softly like she was afraid that she might scare me. I couldn't believe my ears and my mind couldn't comprehend it.

"Go to the other room and look at how bad Eric is and then come tell me that you need to talk with Max. We're fine. We just spared!" I raised my voice but Four was still shaking his head. I didn't know why they thought Eric was the bad guy here when clearly we were both on the same boat.

As if on cue the door opened and Eric came in with the nurse who was shaking her head probably from a previous conversation. Four stiffened from the sight of Eric and I could see his eyes lingering on Eric's face. I barely held my laughter at the sight of him. I really did a number on him. He shot me a cold look.

"You don't look any better than me, Noobie," he said flatly making me laugh slightly.

"I assume you want to go too, am I right?" asked the nurse looking at every single person in the room before her eyes fell on me.

"Like you have to ask"

"But she needs to rest for a couple of days. She has two broken ribs" said the nurse but looked at Eric.

"And I have one," he said flatly making me snort. "But I expect you to be up and ready tomorrow for our run"

"No way!" protested Four.

"I'll be there" I assured him and I could see the protest rising up in the nurse's face.

"She needs to rest" she insisted. Eric looked like he couldn't care less.

"She's fine, she'll have plenty of rest until tomorrow. Besides I bet you gave her the healing serum, so she'll be just fine." he brushed it off and I laughed a little bit at the face the nurse made.

"I'll be fine really" I reassured her immediately agreeing with Eric.

"No, you'll not be. You need rest" glaring at me Four and Tris nodded beside him "Val you pushed yourself too much" Tris looked me with concern face and I couldn't take it anymore.

I just shook my head too tired to have an argument with him.

"You too…you need rest too" the nurse said to Eric who snorted and his eyes looked at me. The laughing and carefree Eric was gone and now he was once again replaced by the strict leader Eric.

"We good?" He asked ignoring the others in the room.

"Yep, I had to beat the crap out of you but we're good" what he did next surprised me even more because he did it I front of the people here.

He smirked at me but it was more genuine one not the cooky and smug one "Good. I expect you tomorrow at five" he said flatly he didn't wait for me to respond and left the room.

"You're not training tomorrow" disagree the nurse. I sat up on the bed my body sore I almost moved it.

"Yeah, not happening. I might go easy but I'm definitely not skipping" I stood up a little bit uneasy. The nurse pressed her lips and shook her head.

"You two are crazy. Fine, go kill each other I don't care" she threw her hands in the air with surrender.

"Thank you," I said and started to walk out of the room Four and Tris trailing after me. I was barely walking but I refused help from them as I slowly made my way to the dormitories.

"Val, please let Four talk with Max," said quietly Tris beside me as he hands were ghostly around me ready to catch me if my legs were to give up on me.

"I'm fine" I murmur under my nose and continue walking. I could skip dinner all I wanted right now was to sleep.

"Val I know you can't see it but Eric is not the right person to mentor you," said Four behind me which made me stop dead on my tracks. I turned around him. This day was my worst day ever and the last thing I need now was Four's wisdom. I glared at him.

"Why, because it's not you? Because your ego is hurt, when I chose Eric? I make my own choices and I stand right by them. So stop trying to woo your way to mentor me because it's not happening. I'm really getting tired of your shit Four, I try because of Tris but you just love to get on my nerves."

"He beat the shit out of you Val, wake up!" he once again motioned with his hand toward me, which made me even more pissed.

"I did the same to him! Did you see how he looked? Back off Four or you'll look worst than Eric. I mean it!" I threatened him and I turned around slowly making my way to the dorms. They didn't follow me and I was grateful for that. I didn't need them to take care of me. I could do it on my own just fine. The day was long so many things happened but my mind was too tired to process something. The only thought that was there was, go to bed –sleep.


	10. Last Fears

**_As I promised, now we can see her other fears. Probably sparking more questions about her and her past. I would probably be posting another chapter shortly after this one. So be ware!_**

 ** _Again thank you all for sticking around and reading the story, it means a lot._**

 ** _And the reviws, I love reading your thoughts ^^  
_**

* * *

I might have thought that seeing Eric approaching me with as syringe won't feel that scary as it was the first time, but I was wrong. I might have thought that after all these times that I had to go through my fears I would be ready to face them again, but this time it was different. This time it wasn't just Eric observe my fears, this time it would be all of the leaders and I didn't know how I felt about this.

I felt nervous, it was normal to feel nervous when you have to do something like this. When I think about it there was nothing to be nervous about. I was practically a full member of Dauntless. The only thing that was stopping me was - what was beyond that door and of course, the liquid that Eric was about to give me.

For the past two weeks, I had been working my ass off. I passed stage two only to be thrown in stage three which was more like stage two but the difference there was that I had to face my fears and it was painful. I learned to accept all of my fears and learn how to beat them but one of them was always the hardest and that was the one where Eli always was running away from me.

From all the physical training that started to become easy - to the mental training, I was a walking wreck. There were days where I was walking like zombie desperately trying not to fall from exhaustion. There were days where I would watch something mindlessly but my mind would be miles away thinking about my fears and other shit.

The training with Eric had become quite easy. That was expected when you start to get into a rhythm. The lacking was now gone and fighting Eric had been easy and a challenge at the same time. Easy because now he didn't pin me that quickly and I had a better chance of doing so- with me knowing his moves. Challenge because when you know someone that well it was quite difficult to pin him, especially when he too know your moves.

After that huge "spar" we had, we dare I say, became more friendly in some way. As friendly as two people who barely knew something about the other could be. But spending so much time with someone it was bound to have some sort of strange tolerating relationship which was friendly at a time but both parties knew their places. Like I said very strange.

After it, I earned quite the big reputation. Apparently fighting with Eric and living to tell the story was a big thing. We both had bruises weeks later but both of us wore them with pride. Eric didn't look so fazed that got hit by me and had bruises. His expression was smug probably showing off how it was his mentee that did it and he was doing a great job teaching me.

"Last time, are you ready?" he asked, standing in front of me- blocking the door to the fear landscape with his big body.

"And I would never have to relive my fears ever again?" I already knew the answer but I wanted to keep talking with him in order to ease the situation a little bit.

His pierced eyebrow lift "Well if you're crazy like Four, maybe you want to relive them nonstop"

I puffed at him "No thank you, don't want to be crazy" I joked but as usual, he had his serious face. He shifted from one leg to the other slightly towering over me. His look was very curious examining my face.

"Are you nervous?" he asked with a little bit mockery in his voice. In a matter of fact, yes, I was nervous and I was showing it in front of him. But after all this time he had been the only one to see all of my breakdowns after the fears. I wasn't happy with that but he didn't even once say something about it, making me slightly trust him more. Sometimes he even let me use him as a punching bag to get out all of the frustration, which was nice. There was a nagging feeling in my chest that I might be slipping into trusting him but I couldn't help it.

"Pff…no" I lied very poorly looking up at his amused face. "I just don't like the fact that they will see everything."

He shrugged "You didn't like that I saw everything, but you let it go. Are you nervous of what they might think when they see the last one?"

That was a question I didn't expect from him, but there was a small part of me that was nervous because of that. I pressed my lips giving him an answer. He nodded and his eyes locked on mine "You don't need to worry about anything. For the past few weeks, you've been so brave with your fears. Especially the last one. This isn't any different and I know you'll do great in there. And I'm sure that they'll think the same thing I do when I see you fighting over your fears, especially the last one – bravery. So you just go there and get it over with."

He sounded so genuine that it made him look slightly off character. But I could see in his eyes that what he said – he meant it. And the speech making him sound like a true mentor was boosting my confidence. Watching him in the eyes I didn't feel so nervous anymore. I just smiled.

"Thank you"

He frowned a little bit "For what?"

"For making it a lot easier"

He nodded lifting up the syringe telling me once again that it was for the last time. I swallowed hard and made a step closer to him, brushing off my long hair and putting it on the other side – exposing my neck. He came closer and I lifted my eyes to him. He was very focused as the needle entered my skin and the cold liquid entered my body. Once every drop was gone he looked up in my eyes and gave me a reassuring smile. A smile that not once I have seen on him but it was always nice. I smiled back at him.

"Be brave" he said barely in a whisper and pushed me slightly into the room in which I had entered too many times but this time was the last one.

It felt like I had just stepped into the room when it all went dark and I immediately knew which fear was it.

There was only one light coming from above and wasn't nearly enough to light the whole room.I already knew what was to come but it was still hard for me to relive it over and over again. I mentally reminded myself of what Eric told me and prepared me for. I needed to buy time when I was here.

And as usual, there was a figure in front of me. But this time there was another figure emerging behind the first one. Sometimes I was facing my first boyfriend (the blue eyed boy) sometimes it was Eli, but he could be seen more in my second fear, sometimes like now, it was my parents.

They were both smiling at me. My mother with her caring eyes and red hair was looking at me like I expect her to be looking at me if she could see me now. Father was his strict self, but his eyes spoke more than his words ever did.

I tried to savour the moment as if was my last time I would see them. But the moment quickly faded as I felt the cold metal in my hand and I knew what I had to do.

Their smiles turned into frowns, making my heart clench. The lump in my trough formed and my eyes started to burn. No matter how many times I sat here pointing a gun at them I would never get used to the feeling and it was breaking me every time.

"Do it!" The familiar and yet unknown voice spoke beside me. I was never able to see the person who spoke, but he was there.

I shook my head trying to buy myself some time. _"Don't end the simulation quick enough but don't take too long either. Play a role even if it's not hard for you anymore"_ I remembered Eric trying to teach me how to act as if I was unaware. But it was hard every time.

So I did what I did best. Played like I had to win an Oscar. I let my tears fall off my eyes.

"I can't"

"Val, do it. We know you can do it" spoke my mother in a soft voice. It was hard for me to kill them, but I could still pull the trigger right now and be done with it, but Eric's voice was still echoing.

I raised the gun and pointed it at them. My hand was shaking. I didn't know if I was acting or it was real anymore.

"Do it!" The voice spoke again tauntingly.

My parent's eyes were sadly glued on me. They knew what was going to happen and being them they were reassuring me it was alright. It was always hard to kill your parents. I missed them so much but I knew I had to pull the trigger.

With tears falling on my cheeks I pressed my lips. "I'm so sorry," I said pressing the trigger two times.

The room fell into darkness before I found myself on the familiar forest path. The wind was blowing the leaves. I knew what was about to happen and I looked in front of me. Here he was standing with his back to me still wearing the same outfit as always. The lump in my through was still there.

He started to run and I started to run after him, panicked that he might leave me.

"Wait" I yelled behind him but he didn't turn always nor did he slowed down. He just kept running even increasing his speed. I did the same, but no matter how much I pushed myself to run faster he was always running faster than me.

"Eli, please stop!" I yelled once again slightly out of breath but it was no use, he kept running. My eyes started to burn and I could barely take a breath as on cue I fell down on the cold forest path.

"Eli!"

There was no use he didn't stop. He didn't turn around. I was gasping for air but he wasn't coming this time to help me relax. I panicked for a second when I saw his figure way too far away from me but I quickly remembered what he did the one time he did turn around. I started to take deep breaths and not long enough I calmed myself.

Just before the forest path faded away I once again looked up he wasn't there anymore.

I was in an old room. There was a chair with its back to me by the fireplace and the window on the side. I loved sitting there reading books when I was young, now it was just a part of a fear that I couldn't stand. I made a few steps toward the chair.

An old woman was sitting on it knitting. Her white hair was braided neatly on the side as her hand quickly moved. She had the same tattoo on her right hand as I did. Once she heard me coming close she spoke but didn't lift up her eyes from the knitting.

"What are you doing?"

"I'm just here to see you" I replied. I would say that I missed her, but not that version of her.

"You don't belong here and you shouldn't be here. Why don't you leave and go run with that boy of yours." She said coldly.

I knew in the back of my mind that it was pointless to argue with her but I couldn't stand doing anything while she talked like that.

"I'm not going anywhere. I will be here"

"No, you're not. You're useless here. You can't do anything right, you go running around like a stupid girl instead of being where you're needed. You are a disgrace to this family to the group! I'm so ashamed of you being my granddaughter." She laughed bitterly and her eyes were now locked on mine. "You shouldn't even have that tattoo on your hand, you don't deserve to have it. You don't deserve to know the knowledge I gave you! You sickening me! Why did I expect that you'll do better once I got that boy, you only got worse!"

The lump in my through was now replaced by anger.

"You're nothing. Sweet little Megan has better chances than you" she continues ranting and I had enough.

"Stop!" I yelled "I'm better, I'll do much more than any other girl here especially Megan. I didn't abandon anyone I was helping. I was doing what I was meant to do when the others were too scared to leave the village. I was the one to want to be trained and no one else. I didn't run! And sure as hell deserve everything you taught me. This tattoo is only proving how much I have a place here. So don't you even tell me that I don't need to be here!" I yelled at her. I knew she wasn't real, but it always felt good to shut her up.

With my last words, the room disappeared and I was on an empty street. I hated that one. I started to look around. But no matter how much I tried to find someone there was no one.

"Hello!" I called. I started to wonder but all of the streets were empty, not a single soul was there. Only me. A new fear that got to me maybe since I was out of the capsule. Being the last person on Earth.

I started to panic even though in my subconscious I knew that it was just as a sim and would never find a person here, it was still a fear.

I ran through the streets calling for someone but no one answered. Only empty streets, empty buildings. A sound of something crashing caught my attention. I started to run to the sound even though I knew there was no one there. Nothing to cause it.

I didn't know who long I ran but I was out of breath and my heart was hammering like crazy. I was the only one. It wasn't real, but it felt real enough.

I stopped running taking deep breaths like I did in the forest and I tried to compose my breathing and sure enough, I was back at the house at the fireplace, but the chair was empty.

There was a sound of wood cracking and burning as well as a smell of burnt. But the fire place wasn't burning. I frantic looked around and I saw the other part of the house was. Smoke was filling the house making me cough. I ran quickly outside only to be met with the devastating view of every house on fire. People were screaming and running away. Some were on fire desperately wanting to put out themselves. Children were crying. The chaos was on full.

I was glued to my spot a bystander watching everything play before my eyes. Some people were trying to put out the fire with buckets but it was no use. I already knew how that one ended but it always surprised me when I felt my body hot. I never feared fire but burning alive was another thing.

Just when I felt the heat I turned around and my hand was on flames quickly catching up to my body. I screamed but no one heard me or even came to rescue me. The flames were taking over my body quickly burning through clothes and flesh.

The pain was unbearable and the only thing I could do was scream. I was just like the people that I saw burning earlier. No one helped them, no one would help me.

I started to roll over on the ground desperately trying to put out the fire that felt like it was overwhelming me, but it was no use it looked like it was making it worst.

With the last strength I had, I started to run to where I knew was the river. I didn't know how I managed to get there but I did. Never giving up on the will to survive. Once the cold water hit my body feeling the relieve, the flames disappeared so did the river.

The image of my last fear came into view. I hated my last fear, it was the worst I could possibly have.

I was in a forest but not the same forest where I would go running with Eli. This one was filled with sadness and cruelty. Gunshots could be heard flying all around me hitting the trees or the ground, sometimes even people. Bodies were laying on the ground some moving, some didn't.

It was an image that I couldn't get out of my head for so many years and I was reliving it. My hand clenched the bag that was hanging on my right shoulder. People needed my help and I was going to help them.

I ran quickly to the first person who I saw alive. Bullets flying all around me, but I felt like they couldn't reach me. The man had a gaping wound on his stomach and his clothes were soaked in blood.

When he saw me he had hope in his eyes as I started to search in my bag for things that might help him, my hands moving quickly through the items as my heart was hammering in my chest from the adrenalin. When I finally found the thing I needed I turned around toward the man, but it was too late. His eyes were closed.

"No" I gasped checking his pulls, but there was none. "No, no, no" I chanted, tears spilling out of my eyes. I couldn't help him. I was so close.

I stood up looking around searching for more survivors. When I found another one I started to walk toward him, just when I reached him he was dead.

That repeated so many times, that I lost count. I was just about to help someone and he died in front of me. I was in a loop, a never ending loop and I couldn't help anyone.

I knew that it was pointless to try so much to help, there was no use. But I was stubborn not wanting to give up on the smallest chance I might help.

The fear consumed me and it took me a while to remember that I was in a sim, this wasn't real. This time.

I dropped on my knees in the middle of the battle, accepting that I couldn't help anyone and the forest faded.

I have six fears, no one knew how many they were except Eric and maybe the other leaders too. I would have guessed that after all I had been through they would be more, but I guess they all sum up into this six.

I hated talking about my fears and even when someone asked me about it I never answered. It was a personal thing and I couldn't understand the others who gladly tell me their fears so oblivious of the fact that was very useful information if you want to hurt someone.I knew very well that they were not real. But they felt real and for a second when the vision was in front of me I forget that I was in a simulation or in a plain room. All I saw was the image in front of me while panic and fear took over.

Sometimes I knew it was a sim from the start. Sometimes it was so strong that I couldn't understand it until something was off.

I hated the fact that my previous mentor was one of my fears I had to see him every time and it was heartbreaking every single time. Some of my fears were more like memories. One was the fire in my village hence the burning alive fear. One of the Elders telling me that I wasn't good enough. One fear that I think I developed after I awoke from the capsule and that was being the last person on Earth and it was scary. After that one, I usually spent more time with Tris and the group enjoying the fact that I was surrounded by people.

When the last fear disappeared I found myself in the same room I entered. The door behind me suddenly opened and all of the leaders entered clapping with smiles on their faces. Even Eric was slightly smiling with a hint of something that looked like pride.

First of them spoke Max patting me on the shoulder "Congratulations Val! Now you're a full member of our faction"

"One thing is out, now leadership is waiting" winked at me Monic a little bit playfully. I could see myself spending more time with her, she was a good company until she stuck her nose in my business and personal life, then I didn't like her that much. Harrison only nodded at me and I didn't expect anything more from him.

"I'll announce your passing tonight and we're going to celebrate," said excited Max and ushered the others to get to their jobs. If they had questions about my fears, they didn't show it, which I was grateful. I wasn't sure how was I going to make it if I had to answer what was what.

The only one that stayed was Eric who looked very uncomfortable beside the door like his place wasn't here.

Just from looking at him I started to panic, biting my lip I went to him. We were the only one here but I still talked quietly.

"Did I do something that I shouldn't have? I was very cautious." There was slight panic in my voice. Eric was calm as ever and it was kind of surprised that I asked him that.

"You did great. You didn't manipulate it." He reassured me. I still wasn't sure why this was a bad thing. When Eric found out that I was aware in my fears he was very secretive until I pushed him to tell me more.

Apparently, I was something called Divergent, which meant that I was aware during simulation and that I didn't fit in any particular faction. If I had to guess I had a little bit from every faction, some more some less. Eric told me that the test usually determined which faction you belong. I was glad that Jeanine didn't put me into testing I didn't know what she would do to me if the test told me I was for more than one faction.

After I figured this out with Eric guidance I laid low in the fear landscape after in one of my fears I actually made Eli turn. After this little stunt, which I made unknowingly I got scolded from Eric leading with calmingly telling me what not to do and how to be unnoticed.

The fact that he was helping me with that, which itself felt like a big thing, made me trust him a little bit. I wasn't aware of the other leaders knew what I was, but Eric made it very clear that I need to keep it quiet so I won't end up dead or being a lab rat.

"So I'm good. There is no threat?" I asked him keeping my voice low.

His eyes locked on mine and he crossed his arms on his chest. "There is always a threat Val, but for now you're good" he smiled a little and nodded toward the door. "Come on, you have an hour or something until you have to celebrate."

"Yeah, I don't want to anger Christina and her determination to dress me up" I joked but he didn't laugh. Sometimes he laughed sometimes not, it was hard when your jokes were not appreciated.

We went outside just to be met with celebratory whoops and cheers from the crowd in front of me. Tris, Christina, Uriah, Lynn, and Marlene were all clapping happily. A little late to the party was Four as he showed up behind them. I felt Eric tense up behind me and with a huff he walked passed me, not appreciating all of the noise.

"You did it!" yelled Tris pulling me for a hug. The smile never left my face as all them got a turn to hug me even Four, whose relationship with me was a little bit shaky this past two weeks. Tris tried very hard to stay out of our arguments and she usually played the part of a peace maker, but it never held for long.

"Congratulations!" he murmured when he pulled me into a hug.

"Thank you," I said kind of awkwardly by the affection throwing a quick glance at Tris, who looked like she didn't mind a bit. I was very cautious having my fair share of obsessed and jealous girlfriends in the past, but Tris looked unfazed. Everyone here was so friendly that made me wonder if even something like this could accrue.

Before I know it I was being pulled by Christina and the girls telling me it was time for preparation. The boys of course only laughed at my misery and cries for help and left me in Christina's mercy.


	11. Full Member

**_I feel like this is going to be a long fanfic with slow romance happening but be patient the sweet things come slowly. I feel like both of them are so closed off and stubborn that they might need the whole time in the world to get together xD_**

 ** _Anyway, this's my favorite chapter so far and when you get to one particular part you'll know why._**

 ** _Thank you all for reading!_**

* * *

We spent a whole hour preparing for the party at the Pit. I was ready in the first fifteen minutes waiting for the other to gussy up over the mirrors.

I had my black dress on me which ended above the knees. It didn't feel like a second skin or way too slutty. I liked it because I felt so free in it, making me turn so many times just to see it fly around me. But that I did only when I was alone.

Christina braided my hair, crying over how much material for braiding she has. "It's a shame that you don't braid it" she had said with a frown. I could throw knives perfectly and have a steady hand for shooting, but braiding was one of the hardest things and I was never able to do it.

The Pit was full of life. It was always filled with life but now there were more people than usual and they were all drinking and dancing in the rhythm of the music. I looked around I could barely identify anyone from the crowd and I was sure that if I didn't keep a close eye on the girls I would lose them.

All people here seemed to know who I was and congratulate me with huge smiles. I had one too, probably the first one they had seen since I was here, but I let go just for tonight. We made our way to the boys who were standing on the far end of the Pit drinking something in a cup.

"Wow, you guys look amazing," said Uriah and his eyes shined brighter when they fell on Marlene.

I tugged slightly Tris's arm drawing her attention "Is there something between Uriah and Marlene?" I asked her quietly as I could possibly be when the music was blasting.

"It's obvious, right? I think they're the only ones not seeing it yet" We both giggled earning a few questionable looks from the group, but we just shrugged and continue chatting.

I looked around the crowd searching for no one in particular, but my eyes landed on Eric with his two friends on his each side. His back was against a wall and he was holding a cup in his right hand. It was easy to see that even with his friends he pulled up that leader vibe, even though he had a small smile on his lips as they talked about something. As if he sensed that I was watching him his eyes landed on mine making my stomach flutter and my heart stood still on his tracks. The small smile on his lips looked like it grew slightly as he lifted up his cup in a toast, making the heads of his two friends turn toward me. I lifted my cup too with a small smile, desperately trying to calm my heart that now was beating at full speed.

My attention moved to my friends who seemed to missed the little interaction with Eric and I entered their conversation. We didn't have to wait long before Max made an appearance, silencing all of the chatters and dancers.

"We're here to celebrate the joining of one special initiate, who was the first to pass initiation alone" there were cheers and clapping and all I wanted was to hide somewhere, all of this attention fell on me. All I could do was smile so hard that my mouth hurt. "Let us celebrate tonight our new member and leader in training Valeria. Let her attribution to Dauntless be memorable one"

There was another wave of cheers, that sounded more like a shouting and clapping as the music went louder than before, making the party official.

Before I knew it, I was being pulled to the dancing floor by Tris and soon after the whole group started to dance.

For the first time since I was here, I was happy. I let go of all my problems and the fact that nothing and no one I knew was here to live this crazy new life with me. I let go of the stupid fears that were haunting me even after I didn't have to relive them again. I let go of the sadness of being alone because I wasn't alone after all. I had these people around me, making me laugh and joke. Making me let go and forget the fact that I wasn't born at the time they were but that didn't matter because we were here now. I was here now and this was my life from now on, either I liked it or not. And I liked it. It wasn't the same life as it once was, it was different but in a good kind of way.

There were certain things to this new life that made me so fascinated and pushed me to explore. I loved exploring.

So I danced, drank, laughed and let go for tonight.

* * *

The water was hitting the rocks below me. The drop was very deep. I couldn't see the water or the rocks for that matter, I could only hear them. It was dark like a big black pit ready to consume me. The distance music of the ongoing party could be heard in the distance, but the sound of the water even not that loud was muting it.

I was sitting down on the cold stone cursing my light dress that did nothing and made my butt cold. My legs were dangling off the edge as my body was leaned on the railing. They didn't have many railings here, which was strange for me in the beginning but now it was something normal. After all, this was the faction of brave people and who needed railings?

I was staring at one spot before me, there was nothing interesting there but the sound of the water relaxed me. The party was in full blast and after the first hour I started to suffocate from all of the bodies pressed together and I knew I had to leave.

There was a little breeze that moved my now loose hair making me slightly shiver but I didn't move from my spot.

Heavy footsteps approached me and stopped behind me. I didn't turn around to see who it was. Apparently, I couldn't get peace for a few minutes before someone find me and bug me. The person was standing quietly behind me and my curiosity got the better of me making me lift my head up.

Eric was dressed as usual in black but this time he was wearing a buttoned dress shirt that made him formal and so casual at the same time. In the sea of black it was hard for me to notice how he was dressed but now I could see him clearly. His face was serious or more like dreamy as his eyes were somewhere in front of him. His piercings were glowing on the light that barely came from somewhere.

As if he sensed that I was looking at him, his eyes went on mine and he extended one of his hands offering me something in a bottle. I took it without questions and looked at the bottle. Eric made a few steps and before I knew it he was sitting beside me, his own legs dangling over the edge with the same bottle in his hands. The bottle was brown it a green label on it.

I started to laugh when I read the label, attracting Eric's attention "There is still beer made?" I asked like I couldn't believe my eyes. Eric looked me like I was crazy but didn't answer.

"Well, can you open it for me?" I offered him the bottle. He hesitated for a little bit before pulling out a pocket knife.

"I didn't know if you like beer," he said quietly but took the bottle and opened the cap.

"I like it, but that was one hundred years back. Maybe it has changed" he opened his bottle too and dropped the knife back in his pocket.

"Cheers, let's see if this thing has changed over the years" he smirked and the bottles clung. He took a sip from his beer and his eyes fell on me, expecting to see my reaction. I was a little bit hesitant in the beginning but took sip anyways.

I was pleasantly surprised and the emotion was clearly on my face.

"Guess it didn't change huh?" smirkingly said Eric taking a sip from his again.

"Strangely, but not that much. There is something new, but at the same time is the same" I took one more sip and started looking at my legs in the black high heels.

"Did you have fun?" his voice broke the comfortable silence that fell between us. It was strange how sometimes we could just sit in silence and be better than every conversation.

"Yeah, but I had to get away. Too many people and once my hair got loose I had to hide from Christina" I laughed a little bit but on the inside I was really scared of her. Eric laughed darkly beside me.

"I half expected her to show up like one of my fears"

That made Eric laugh even more as he took another sip of his beer "That is something I want to see. Probably it will be endless nightmare of shopping sprees"

I barely held the beer in my mouth from coming out and I quickly swallowed choking with laughter. "You think it's funny but until you experience it you don't know anything"

"You want to talk about your fears?" he suddenly asked.

I pressed my lips and shook my head "I know that the last one is very hard on you" he sounded sincere, friendly and there was no second meaning to his voice. "You were very brave in it"

"I'm just glad that I won't relive them again"

"They're all memories right?"

My head shot to him "Most, not the first one and the one that I'm alone in the city. But yeah, they're twisted memories." I saw him nod in understanding probably he already figured out what kind of memories they were- especially the last one. One thing I liked about him. He knew that I won't answer more so he didn't ask more, he just sat there. Made me think if one day I would actually tell him everything there was about me.

We fell once again in comfortable silence where both of us were sipping from our beers. I looked up to him. He had his big body leaned at the other side of the railing and his eyes were somewhere in front of him. He was close but at the same time not that close.

"So what's next?" I asked him making him turn his head toward me.

"You train for leader"

"And I get a sweet apartment?" I smiled mischievously which made him chuckle.

"Yeah, a leader apartment."

"Sweet!" I said happily. "Probably you would be training me"

His eyebrow lift "Do you want someone else training you?"

"Yeah like Four, maybe," I said casually looking everywhere but him. I felt him tense beside me. I didn't see his look but it must have been icy. I couldn't contain my laughter and once he understood that I was joking his eyes were even colder.

"I'm sorry I had too. You two are just too perfect for me to miss a chance to joke"

"You do know that one pat on the back from me and you will be flying down the unknown?" he asked seriously but I could feel the hint of a joke in his voice.

"Aaaw you wouldn't. You'll miss me" I winked at him playfully.

He tried his best to hold a smile but the ends of his mouth slightly went up "Don't think that will save you" In moments like this I could really see him letting go.

Moments where we were just the two of us alone, somewhere. He would smile, laugh and make jokes. I could see him like that when he was with the other leaders or his two friends that he had, but there he was always somehow pushing it, not letting it go fully. While when we were alone he was more open, even I was.

"You know that I get a lot of comments saying that I made you my protégé and that you are the woman version of me?" he asked me with amusement on his face.

Saying just the thing I was thinking about. He lifted his bottle and took a sip out of it.

I laughed at the last part. I never thought about it that way. We got a lot of strange looks when we beat the shit out of each other. I earned some kind of respect here by bruising him. Apparently, no one was capable of standing so long in a fight with Eric enough to hit him and the fact that I did, was a big deal. I didn't make it a big deal. For me, he was a good opponent and when I finally learned how to pin him I was very sure that I could beat everyone. From all of the sparring I did with him I became stronger than I was.

As for the attitude, there were similarities. He was more closed off I was more willing to let go. But I still didn't know him that well.

"On that note let's set the world on fire and watch from very high above how everything and everyone burns in agony," I said with very serious voice earning a very strange look from Eric

"That was dark" he murmured.

"Four will be the first ones to burn," I said listing my eyebrow waiting for him to say something.

As I expected he smiled darkly "I like how that sounds"

"Of course you do" I smirked and took a sip from the beer. I didn't notice how he slightly came closer to me. His hand catching my left one and pulling it toward him. His warm fingers were around my wrist making it look so small and fragile that with one sudden movement he could break it, if he wanted to. His eyes were looking at the tattoo there before he spoke.

"What is this?" he asked slightly bend over my hand and a few short locks from his hair fell on his face. Little did he know those locks were always driving me crazy. There was something in men with long hair that just always made me crazy and him with his half buzzed half long hair was not an exception.

"It is a rune it gives me certain power. Different runes give different powers" I explained. He looked skeptically at me before his eyes once again fell on the rune. He didn't seem fazed by the fact that he was holding my wrist and the fact that he never made bolder moves like this one.

"And what kind of power does this one give you?" he asked. He was normally curious about me and my past, but I never revealed much and I didn't know what pushed me today to answer him.

I let out a small laugh and looked at the rune on the inner part of my left hand just below the elbow. "Ironically it means Fearless"

I heard him snorted the minute I said it "Guess you're just in the right place then" with that he let go of my hand leaving a hot spot where his hand was.

"And the other one?" he asked pointing at my right hand where were the entwined roses and herbs. "I've seen it in your fears"

"Symbol of the knowledge," I said shrugging, he nodded in understanding. His eyes shifted on my body like he was searching something. It made me slightly shiver as his gaze was wondering all over me slightly making me hard to breathe.

"Do you have other tattoos I can't see?" he asked with a little playful smile on his lips and for some reason just with that sentence, he made my stomach flutter. I couldn't keep the smile.

"Aaah…I'm not going to tell you. This you might have to find out for yourself" I said it in the same tone he did. Earning a grin on his face and I could have sworn his eyes darkened. I didn't know how this turned into flirting, not that we didn't have small flirts here and there but that was nothing compared to this one here.

"I'll take that as a yes then" with a satisfying smile he took a sip of his beer looking away from me.

"You know I could ask you the same thing. Are those the only piercings you have?" I lift up my eyebrow at him looking at his pierced face and ears.

He didn't look at me but he smiled "This you might have to find out for yourself" he quoted me making me sigh in disappointed. His dark laugh filled the empty corridors. "It's not fun when I don't tell you, huh?"

"Definitely" I agreed and sipped from my beer slightly shifting on the spot I was sitting. The tension was high in the air and I needed to change the subject before It continues and we both do something stupid. "So…when will I get an apartment?" I quickly asked.

"Tomorrow"

"Cool. What about my things in Erudite?" this time he looked me and I could just as easily get lost in his eyes. I felt my stomach flutter a feeling that I haven't felt in a long time and in the same time not so long. I had the strange urge to just go closer to him and maybe snuggle myself near his big and warm body. But that would be strange and he would probably just drop me into the river.

I sighed and looked the other way. I missed _him._

"I don't know. But when you learn a few things about the other factions you'll accompany me on meetings." He answered. I shoo off the sad feeling that crept in me for the first time this evening and replaced it with worry.

"I don't want them to sit too long in Erudite" I didn't know why I told him this and I immediately regretted it.

"I know, but I'll make sure it will the first place we visit" he sounded genuine. Making me want to trust him more. After all, he mentored me into hiding that I was Divergent. He knew things about me no one knew, from my fears and some bits and pieces I had told him. He was the only one that knew me here and I couldn't trust him fully. Some part of me was letting go and trusting him that what he said would be true, that he was helping me with no second thoughts.

He was laughing and smiling with me but there was this other part of me that was screaming not to get too close, not to reveal too much because he could be pretending. If he was pretending, why would he be genuine? He could pretend to be nice and helpful and then break me easily.

But this was trust after all. Letting yourself out there for the person to see. Giving him the chance to break you and if he was trustworthy he wouldn't do it, if not – he would do it the first chance he got.

He was quite for a little bit before he spoke: "Do you trust Jeanine?"

My head shot at him my eyes shifting on his face trying to find what pushed him to ask something like this, what were his alternative motives? He was just serious, his eyes too. Like usual his face didn't show any information he didn't want to show.

I pressed my lips and I didn't answer.

He sighed and looked away "You're not going to answer me." it wasn't a question it was a statement. "You don't trust me huh?"

I didn't answer that one either instead I asked him a question knowing just well that he was feeling the same way and I knew what his answer would be "Do you work for her?" he looked at me and he pressed his lips just like I did, telling me that he wouldn't tell me. Just proving my point.

"You don't trust me," I said quietly. We both sat in silence. We were both in the middle of the same thing. Talking about the same thing but without trust, we didn't say too much to the other as if the other might use it against him. It left us with a big mystery until one of us understands where the other stood.

I wasn't sure how we moved to the serious subjects but suddenly it all felt so heavy. From flirty and laughing to serious and untrustworthy.

With the end of my eyes, I saw him lift his clearly empty bottle. He cursed under his breath. I looked up at my empty bottle in my hands. "I assume you don't have two more bottles somewhere hidden in your pants do you?" I asked but the minute the question went out of my mouth I understood how stupid it sounded. There was silence between us before it was broken with the held laughter from both of us.

"Why my pants?" he asked between laughter making me laugh more.

"I don't know, your shirt doesn't have pockets"

"Even if it does, how am I supposed to put two beer bottles there?"

"Well I don't know, some hidden man pockets" I threw my hands in the air making the sound of his laughter even louder.

"It's better that I don't have one more beer you're starting to talk nonsense"

"I'm not drunk, Eric!" I warned him but he just shook his head slightly giggling.

"Maybe tipsy, but not drunk. It would take you more than one bottle of beer to get me drunk"

He looked up at me sideways and smirked "Dully nodded" and just like that we were once again flirty and happy.

Soft steps were heard behind us. Instantly Eric hid his emotions behind a stone mask as he turned toward the sound breaking the eye contact. I was sure he was going to kill the intruder for interrupting us. I turned around too, just to see slowly approaching Christina, who looked very uncomfortable once she saw Eric.

"What are doing here?" she asked but her eyes were on Eric like it wasn't obvious I was with him.

"Drinking beer," I said cheerfully and shook the empty bottle before her. She didn't seem to like my happy mood and I made it just because I knew that she wouldn't like it.

"We were looking for you. You kind of disappeared on us" she said quietly her gaze moving from me to Eric and back like she was going to understand what was happening.

"Yeah I wanted to be alone and someplace quiet," I said and I saw her eyes shift to Eric when I said alone. I was definitely going to be asked questions later about him.

"Ah…what happened to your hair?" she suddenly asked pointing at my loose curly hair.

"It…fell" I mumbled and I could see Eric barely holding a laughter with his back at her. Somehow he knew I lied and I threw him a sharp look. His features became serious as he stood up from his spot motioning with his hand to give him something. I wasn't ready to get up if that what he was applying and looked him questionably.

"Give me the bottle" his voice sounded more like an order now.

"Why you'll bring one more?" I said playfully totally ignoring awkwardly standing Christina behind him.

He smirked at me making once again my stomach flutter. "I think you had enough," he said coldly but his face was telling me otherwise. I knew very well he was playing a part in front of Christina. I gave him the bottle.

"So you're leaving?" I asked.

"I'll leave you two to talk" there was a hint of mischievousness in his voice as he knew very well that he was sending me to my doom if he left me with her alone. He turned around and started walking. "Condor" he nodded at Christina while he walked past her.

"Hey, that pat on the back might be needed now!" I yelled at him, he didn't turn around but he didn't need to in order for me to know that he was smirking.

"You missed your chance" he only said leaving me with very confused Chrisita which became the witness at the strange thing between me and Eric.

"Traitor!" I yelled at him.

When he was out of earshot and hidden behind walls Christina's eyes went wide and I knew my only way out was if I jump. In this moment I hated being a girl. She was expecting of me to spill my soul and gush about boys and who I like. I was screaming internally in agony that I didn't want to answer any questions about him but that didn't stop her anyway.

"What the fuck was that?" she whispered loudly approaching me quickly. I did what I always do when girls ask me this kind of questions- I shrugged. Hoping that they would see that I wasn't in a mood to talk and drop the subject, but my tactic never worked, because they never drop the subject – the questions only kept spilling.

"Don't shrug. You were laughing, both of you." She said it like she was telling a fairy tale. "I stood there listening because I didn't know who were you talking to, but then I heard Eric's voice and I couldn't believe how open you talked with him. HE even laughed" Christina was now on full girl breakdown mode. Making a fly into an elephant. I shrugged again. For me it was nothing unusual and being greedy as I was I wasn't going to tell her that. Some part of me wanted to keep this for myself, as I was the only one to know he was actually capable of laughter.

"He's my mentor," I said like this answered the question why I talked so openly with him "You were spying on me?" I asked her quickly a little bit pissed.

"What can you tell him that you can't tell me?" she asked expecting from me to tell her that she was such a good friend and I tell her everything. But that wasn't it and she just got herself in a probably unwanted situation.

"I don't know why you thought that I tell you everything and you know so many things about me than Eric?" I asked her rhetorically. I knew I was being mean to her now, but I didn't care. People like her needed to know their places. Never did I misguided her by thinking that she knew things about me no one did and that I trust her unconditionally. Our friendship was solemnly based on hanging on one shopping and few meals. I didn't know why she thought she was my best friends - she knew nothing about me as I about her either, except her one fear.

The look on her face was hurt and she couldn't believe or comprehend that I just told her that Eric might know more about me than her.

"Wow, you really are just like him. You're even worst! He's always mean. You, on the other hand, are pretending to be friendly just so you can become a heartless bitch and smash everything" she bit out. I was kind of surprised by her words. I underestimated her I didn't know she had it in her to say all these things. But her words no matter how cold they were, they didn't faze me. We weren't that close so they would hurt.

I just once again shrugged "You need to learn your place. What made you think you knew things about me?"

She was shocked but quickly answered "Because we were having fun, joking and talking"

"Yeah but that is different. You can have fun with someone but at the same time, you know nothing about them" I explained very calmly. She, on the other hand, looked pissed.

"And what was Eric? Just having fun or you know him and he knows you?" she asked angrily.

"That is none of your business" I shook my head. My calmness was making her angrier and that was my strategy.

"You see, how am I suppose to know things about you when you don't tell me" she yelled. She had point but I was still less likely to tell her about me.

"Because you're not the person to know it. I don't want people to know things about me"

"And Eric is?" she asked pointing at the hall where Eric disappeared.

I started to get frustrated throwing my hands in the air "Again with Eric! Eric has nothing to do with it!" this time my voice wasn't calm it was full of tension.

"Well apparently he knows you better," she said it with a hint of irony. I narrowed my eyes at her and almost laughed at her response.

"What, are you jealous? He's my mentor, of course, he knows stuff about me that you guys don't know. Either way, I like it or not he knows"

"You could tell us too" she sounded sad. I had enough of this conversation and lifted myself up.

"One person is enough for me to know," I told her coldly dusting my dress.

"I don't understand you" she shook her head as she was watching me.

"I don't expect from you to understand me" I shrugged and started walking away from her. She huffed and started to jog behind me.

"What you're just going to up and leave?" I heard her behind me.

"Yep, I don't want to talk about it anymore" I brushed it off knowing that it would make her mad.

"You know, when Four was angry at you I stood up behind you. But he was right. You don't care about anything. Guess two heatless persons found each other and don't need others" she once again brought Eric and I stopped walking making her slightly bump into me. I turned around, towering her with my body.

"I never wanted you to stand up for me. I can take care of myself just fine" I hissed

"And that's why you won't have friends. But you have Eric so that Is something, I guess" She said and passing by me she hit my shoulder. She left me with my mouth hung open. She just actually burned me, dropped the mike like a boss and gave me the cold shoulder at the same time and I was impressed. I didn't give her the satisfaction to see me surprised but my silence was enough for her to know that she just won the fight.


	12. The Surprise

_**A little bit late but here it is!**_  
 _ **Thank you all for reading** **and** **reviewing ^^**_

* * *

I angrily punched the punching bag in front of me. I couldn't sleep from the frustration that was still lingering in me from the argument I had with Christina. I kept telling myself that friends were useless and I didn't really need any. I was always good with going against the world. Against all of the people around me. I was never known to be the stupid sheep that follow everyone or be dependent on someone. I was always the one that if people didn't like me - I didn't like them either.

But the thing that Christina said had stuck in my head and it wouldn't let me sleep. I thought it might be because the world was different from how I knew it and I had nothing familiar here. Having nothing familiar I was desperate to have friends, which was depending on someone and I felt stuck.  
I hit the bag harder when I heard the door to the training room open. I turned toward the approaching person. Eric was watching me curiously with a hint of amusement in his face.

I pretended that I didn't see him even though I turned around and kept punching the bag.

"I assume that the little chat with Christina didn't go well" he spoke coming closer to me.

"Oh, it was lovely. I almost threw myself over the edge and then we got into this huge argument and as much as I don't want to admit it, I think she might have won" I said breathlessly hitting the bag one more time before I fully turned toward Eric.

He was standing in front of me with his arms crossed his chest. He didn't look tired one bit or hangover for that matter, but I might guess he didn't drink too much as me.

He laughed quietly shaking his head "I don't believe it"

"Neither did I, but there I was standing alone in the hall after she gave the cold shoulder" I threw my hands in the air and went to grab my bottle of water. I wasn't sure why I told him this thing, but from our little moment of peace yesterday I felt slightly more friendly toward him. More used to him being around. Now that I was about to start my leadership training I would spend a lot more with him.

He came toward me "I see what you need, come on, let's spar for a little bit because after that I have to show you something"

My brow rose questionable "What are you going to show me?" I asked him but he just shook his head. Why did I even expected from him to tell me what it was? "You're not going to tell me are you?"

"Nope, it's a surprise. Now let's get that anger out of you" he motioned me to come closer and attack him.

We sparred for a good amount of time. We were both out of breath and sweaty. None of us was able to pin the other one. The frustration that I had was gone now and I felt more relaxed. But there was a nagging feeling in my head that it won't leave because I was too curious to know what was the surprise.  
I felt a fist connecting with my jaw, making me fall on the floor.

"Where did you go, that was way too easy for me?"

I shook my head trying to shoo off the dizziness but it didn't go away. I laid there on the mat not moving. "I want my surprise now," I declared a little bit breathlessly. I heard him laugh at me.

"So that's what it was" I looked up at him. He was watching me from above looking more intimidating from this angle than before. His arms were on his hips and there was an amusement smile on his face. He started to smile more frequently than before. He looked like he was letting go more often making me see the real him and I kind of liked it. Not just because he was letting his guard down but because I was able to see and understand more of him.

"Okay, hit the showers and meet me in the Pit in twenty minutes. Is the time okay with you or you need more?" He asked, making me wonder since when he asked if I was okay with anything. I looked him kind of skeptical. Was that some kind of test?

"I can be there in ten" I answered him confidently. "I don't need to gush over the mirror for ten minutes," I said to him a little bit annoyed.

He smirked at me "Of course you don't, but I need that time"

"To gush over your mirror?" I joked almost holding down my laugh. He looked like a guy who would beat you up if you try to joke with him. And probably he would beat the crap out of me if I was just a normal person. But for some reason, I always got a laugh and a joke back. At the beginning, he was serious, trying to put me into my place, but now that he probably learned that I liked to joke he joked back holding his ground. Made me feel kind of special.

At this moment he looked serious but I could see it was a fake "To get your surprise but if you keep with the jokes I might reconsider" he said flatly. I knew he wasn't joking about that. My eyes quickly widened.

"No, I'll be good, I promise" I spread my hands in surrender. He chuckled and started to leave the room.

"You have twenty minutes starting now!" he ordered and left the room.

I quickly went into the showers the excitement of the unknown price was pushing me to be quicker. When I left the showers all dressed up and marching down the halls I had ten minutes to spare.

I went inside the Pit and sat down on one of the rocks there. People were all walking around going places or sitting down chatting in groups. I was so hooked up on my thoughts that I didn't see Tris approaching me.

"Hey, what are you doing here all by yourself? Don't you have training with Eric?" she asked looking at me like I ran away or something. Her eyes widened as she saw my face, probably bruised up by the punch I ate earlier. Her hand flew up to my face and her fingers ghostly moved across the bruise.

"Did he do that to you?" she asked one more question, but this one sounded like she was about to go hunt down Eric and shoot him. I moved her hand from my face.

"I had training with him, he let me go early and yes he did that but it was in a spar" I recited on one breath.

Tris shook her head her eyes not leaving my face "Val, he always leaves you with bruises"

"Tris, it's just a spar it's bound someone to get bruised up" I shrugged once again defending Eric. I didn't know why it was such a big deal when they see me with a bruise for him. Like he does it for pleasure or on purpose.

She bit her lip unsure of what to say "Just be careful around him okay?"

"I don't know why people keep telling me this like I can't take care of myself"

"We are just worried about you" she shrugged. "I know about the fight with Chris," she said a little bit unsure if she should bring up the subject. "She said she saw you with him"

I narrowed my eyes at her "Are you trying to get information out of me?" I asked her skeptically.

"Maybe" she smiled softly "It's just very unusual and we're your friends and we just worry about you, that's all"

It was very nice of her to say that but I was very capable of taking care of myself. I knew that friends were for that reason, but I never got the chance to experience a lot from the _'friends'_ thing.

"I know, but as I said I'm fine" I reassured her.

"I know you are. Just have it in mind that Eric is not a good guy"

I let out a small laugh "Neither am I. I'm just as deadly as he is. You just don't know me that well to see it" as I said in my vision landed on a certain blond figure walking down a hall with someone. The person whom Eric was talking to had short brown hair and a short beard. Eric was a little bit taller and even then he had this leader vibe, making sure everyone knew their places, even though I could clearly see that he was more relaxed with the person. They were talking to each other and just from the way they were talking I could say that they were friends. I could see how Eric smirked or laughed a little bit same as the other man. Tris followed my eyes and pressed her lips.

"You were waiting for him?" she asked but she didn't have to. I nodded.

"I'll get some kind of surprise and if I don't get it soon I might go strangle him. It's driving me crazy" I said, but I felt so out of character telling her this. I was letting my guard down in front of her and just because I called her friend it was still necessary to keep it up.

She lifted up her eyebrows at me but couldn't speak because in this moment Eric spoke from behind her.

"Valeria, come on!" he yelled for all to hear like I was in trouble. I quickly jumped up from the rock and threw a quick apologetic look at Tris, who looked like she didn't want to let me go with him. I approached Eric and his friend and I didn't miss the way his eyes linger all over me. I made a face as I stopped in front of them.

"Take a picture it will last long" I snapped at him. His lips curled upward and he threw a quick look at Eric, who looked pissed as I was.

"It most definitely would" he answered narrowing his eyes. I took me everything in my willpower not to punch the smug look on his face.

I let out a sigh and ignoring the dirty look I got from that guy I turned to Eric, who was throwing daggers at his friend. "Can we go before he ends up in the in the infirmary?" nodding my head to his friend.

"Oh, don't worry Eric won't hurt me" his friend spoke very confidently, but by the look on Eric's face, I might have thought otherwise.

"Are you sure about that?" spoke Eric daringly with his cold voice, his eyes still stuck on his friend's face.

I let out a small laugh and shook my head "I wasn't talking about Eric"

Just as I said that the smug look on his face grew bigger. Which made me more pissed off.

"Yeah, you were right" he murmured to Eric who grabbed my elbow and pulled me toward the other end of the Pit.

"See you soon Jack" spoke Eric coldly dragging me with him. I heard his friend letting a small laugh before we disappeared into the long haul. Once we were out of his eyes sight I shook myself off from Eric's grab.

"Do I need to know what the hell did you talked with him about me?" I asked Eric. He didn't look happy. He was looking straight at the path before him not even glancing my way.

"None of your business. But next time I might let you kill him" he sounded so serious that I for a second thought he meant it.

"The pleasure will be mine, but then you'll be missing a friend"

He shrugged glancing my way for a second before his eyes once again went straight ahead "I have one more of those, who needs two anyway"

* * *

We walked for quite a while I was watching carefully where we went so I wouldn't get lost. After a few turns and an elevator to the top floor, we approached an empty hallway with three doors. I looked around taking in my surroundings.

"You're awful quiet" for the first time in a while he spoke.

"I'm remembering how we got here if I need to run." I answered making him huff in reply. We stopped at one of the doors. I was very confused why we were here. I wasn't even sure which part of the compound was this as I was still new to the other parts except for the basics. Eric pulled out a small key from the inner pocket of his leather jacket. Just then from the corner of the hall, a man was walking and I had my opportunity. What were the odds of someone actually walking through here?

"No Eric I'm not going to your apartment," I said with monotone tone shaking my head, but I was actually joking. The man stopped in his tracks when he heard my voice like he could save me from Eric, which made him look back to the guy.

Eric shook his head and gave the key to me "No, Eric I don't want a key for your apartment" I said it with the same voice throwing looks at the guy, who just sped up down the hall, probably considered it wasn't worth Eric's wrath. I could see Eric getting a little bit frustrated. I snickered at the situation.

"It's for your apartment silly. If you so much want to go into my apartment it's just down the hall" he said pointing in the direction of the door. I turned around seeing that there were just three doors including mine.  
I got the key from his hand.

"I have an apartment?" I could barely hold my excitement. "Like a leader's apartment?" My eyes were wide not believing that this was my surprise. He smiled and nodded.

"Yep, your very own apartment. We're just the only ones on this floor. The other three are on the other side." He explained.

My excitement quickly faded and I glared at him skeptically "So why am I here?" I asked. He let out a small sigh and glared at the door.

"Just open the apartment and see for yourself" I didn't need to hear it twice. I practically pushed him away from the door so I could open it. The moment I opened the door a surprised gasp escaped me. My eyes were lingering in every little thing, I couldn't even register what I was seeing. The apartment was so spacious. It was an open room, on the right at the back was a kitchen with a big dining area. On my left was living space with a huge window and a balcony that looked over the city. The walls were partly stone, partly bricks but I liked the loft feeling of it.

I was happily running around gasping and squeaking at the smallest things totally forgetting that Eric was behind me. My eyes landed on the stairs and went up to an open balcony that overlooked the space down below.

"Oh my God!" I yelled and started to run up the stairs. When I reached the last step my eyes landed on a big bed with two nightstands on each end. There was a door on the left of the bed leading to a closet that was so big I might fit a bed in here and on the right side was a bathroom.

"There is a bathtub!" I yelled excited. "I love bathtubs!" I was in a hysterical state. Running around looking at everything. I stopped at the railing overlooking the kitchen and the living space. Eric was standing in the middle of the big room with a genuine smile on his face.

"There is a separate room down here with a bathroom, but I guess you like that bedroom up there" he spoke pointing at something in front of him. I so excited that I missed the small hallway below the stairs that led to two more rooms.

I took a look at them too but it wasn't something special like the bedroom upstairs.

"Are the other apartments like this one?" I asked him and he shook his head. I frowned at him.

"Then why am I getting it?"

His eyes moved from mine lingering on the furniture. "I may or may not have pulled some strings to get you this one," he said barely a whisper.

"Thank you! Thank you!" I was jumping like a little girl from the excitement. I started to look around one more time. "I like it! I can even put a bookshelf over here" I pointed at the empty spot near the TV.

"I can have books right?" I threw him a quick look.

He shrugged "Dauntless don't like to read, but you can have books. Just don't brag about it" My eyes shone brighter from the thought of getting my books and finally seeing them on bookshelves.

When my excitement quieted down I finally understood how I acted around Eric. I showed my girly side and the serious side was gone. I looked up at him but he was looking at me curiously watching my every move or where my eyes land. I cleared my throat and put my mask up, pretending that the whole girly thing didn't happen.

"You read books?" I heard him ask and I turned to look at him standing awkwardly in the middle of the room.

"I do, but I don't have anything to read with me now," I said frowning. Cursing myself a little bit that I had to choose the faction which didn't read. He didn't say anything else, he just left me to look around.

For the first time since I entered I registered the TV.

"TVs are still a thing?" I asked pointing at the screen. His eyebrows wrinkled as he was unsure how to answer me.

"I guess."

"Are there still broadcasting shows?" I asked. So many new things I didn't know. They weren't new for me, but they were somehow changed than the last time.

Eric looked even more lost like I'd asked him _'what was the meaning of life?'_. "You can watch movies and shows that were filmed before the war, but that is pretty much it," he said shrugging. A smiled appeared once again on his face when he saw my eyes widening.

"I can watch movies before the war!" I yelled and he couldn't hold his laughter.

"Well, we don't make movies and TV-shows anymore and the next best thing is before the war" my mouth flew open still trying to process the information. The technology was still the same, but somehow a part of it was lost in the process.

Eric uncomfortably took a few steps looking around before he spoke.

"You saw where my door was. If you need anything don't bother calling me" he started walking.

I snorted "Oh I see how it is. I'm going to bother you on purpose now!" I yelled after him but he just shook his head and started to leave "Thank you!" I yelled one more time before the door shut behind him.

I was alone in my new apartment and I couldn't be happier than that. I once again looked around taking it all in with a huge smile on my face. Never in a million years, I would have thought that I would have an apartment like this one. Living in a small village house this thing here was a dream come true. But once I was alone and the happiness settled down I felt sadness creeping over me. I felt alone. In this big apartment, with no one here I was alone.

* * *

I was sitting on the usual table with a couple of the group, when Tris came with Christina, Will and Four. She looked me up and down like she was making sure I was okay after I went with Eric on my own. She was silent but the curiosity got the better of her.

"So what was your surprise?" she asked finally. A few questionable stares were on her.

"What surprised?" asked Four, who apparently was unaware.

"I got my apartment" I smiled widely.

"Oh cool, you should totally make a party" suggested Uriah next to me and I nodded rapidly.

"That's a must! Once I settle down you got your party"

Tris was a little bit skeptical "So the big surprise was an apartment and Eric had to show it to you?" I nodded in agreement and continue eating.

"I told you they have a thing" murmured Christina making me choke on my food. Uriah's big hand connected with my back hitting it a couple of times before I stopped coughing. I death glared her. "What? It's true. Why would he bother to show you to your apartment?" she had a point, but I for a small reason I knew why. After all, he was the one to get me the apartment. HE was the one to train me here. They didn't know about my leadership training and I wasn't sure if they should know. So a part of me wanted to tell her that just because I was a leader in training now I get a cool apartment which only Eric could show me. Another part of me wanted to lay it low. People didn't react well when they feel like someone was getting higher than them.

Things with Cristina felt a little bit shaky but both of us didn't act on the stupid argument we had yesterday. I knew that this was still lingering in the air like a big elephant that couldn't be missed but both of us acted like it never happened. Even though I could feel her hostility toward me.

But before I could answer her I hear a loud thud on my right side. My eyes land on a stack of books. My eyes widened as I saw the covers and my hands were itching to glide over them and bury my nose in the sheets. I looked up and saw Eric standing over my shoulder. He didn't look quite pleased that he had to stay here where all of these people that he didn't like were watching him.

"Read the Erudite one first." He ordered and I couldn't hold down the smile.

"I'll return them on Monday," I told him pulling the first one.

"You can read all of them in two days?" he asked raising his eyebrows. I nodded rapidly with excitement that I finally have a book in my hands. "Okay then" he shrugged and continue on his way. My food was long forgotten when I opened the book and started to read.

"You're training for a leader?" a voice pulled me out. From my excitement, I totally forgot that I was still on the table. I looked to the way the voice came and Four was watching me curiously.

"Yep"

"I guess that's why they pushed your training" that wasn't a question it was a statement.

"So you got the leader's apartment?" asked a little bit annoyed Christina. For a second I felt too big to sit with them. They all looked me like I was a traitor.

"Um…yes"

Four shook his head "Don't go into leadership, trust me" his voice sounded like a warning. I frowned at him.

"But I don't trust you and I want to go into it" I explained to him like he was a moron. I could smell the beginning of a new fight with him and to be honest I didn't have the energy for more fights with him or whoever for that matter.

"You'll just become one more puppet. It's better for you if you stay low" he advised me and I had to raise my eyebrows at him. I couldn't believe that after all this time he still sticks his nose in my business. Didn't he learn his lesson not to tell me what to do? But what he said slightly stuck with me. I didn't like being a puppet.

Of course, my ego wasn't allowing me to show doubt and stood by my decision.

"I don't like staying low. I like being in charge and not a mindless sheep." I said with a fake smile but on the inside, I was struggling with the frustration.

"Just be careful okay. Tris was smart enough to listen to me and she didn't join them." I looked at Tris questionable and she nodded confirming the statement. I couldn't believe that she would miss on something that big just because her boyfriend told her not to.

"Well I'm not Tris and I don't like when someone tells me what I can't do. Let me make myself clear. I'm fit to be a leader, but you don't know anything about me. I've seen things you can't even imagine. I've lived through things you can't even imagine. Those things made me who I am today. Those things thought me how to be a leader. I might be in the same years as you but I've lived more" I said and closed the book. I stood up grabbing the rest of the books with me.

"Have a nice night you all I'll see you in the morning. I have those books to read" My voice was monotone and I started to walk away from the table. I could see the surprised looks on some who probably didn't expect that kind of reaction out of me. But I was getting tired of trying to show that I was worthy. I was tired of people in my space, trying to help me and guide me like I was too stupid to think that I might be in danger.


	13. The Struggle

_**Ah, it's a little bit** **long** **. But enjoy!**_

 _ **Let me know what you think, next chapter is Erudite.**_

 _ **Once again thank you all for reading.**_

* * *

It was Monday morning and strangely I didn't have the morning run with Eric. He had been letting me relax for a few days which was kind of strange for me, considering that since I came here I didn't have a single day off.

I didn't complain one bit. I had time to read all of the books about the factions, learning more information about their differences. I could see how that could come in handy in some ways. After all, I doubted that they didn't have big meetings where they talk among each other for the sake of the city.  
I felt excited to start and reading the books just put more fuel into my curiosity.

It was still a little bit early as I went to grab something to eat, leaving the books beside me. I could just as easily make breakfast home, but I preferred sitting with my so-called friends. Somehow being in a group with them made me feel like it was before.

I didn't take long before the table and the room started to fill with people and chatter.

"So when will be that sick party?" asked Uriah who was more excited than I was. They haven't seen my apartment yet, which made them even more curious and obnoxious to the upcoming party. To be honest I wasn't sure myself when would I make it. The only thing that was on my mind now was to get my stuff from Erudite. That was my first priority.

"I don't know, maybe by the end of this week. I'll let you know" I said brushing it off as my eyes were glancing over the tables.

"What are you looking for?" asked Christina, but I quickly stood up cutting her off when my eyes landed on the leader's table and on a particular blonde.

"I'll be right back," I said taking the books with me. I was confidently walking toward their table not missing the strange glances I've got from some of the members.

With a big thud, I dropped the books on the table, like Eric did, making the heads to all of the leaders turn toward me. Eric looked annoyed as his eyes were shifting from the books to me and back.

"Did you seriously read them in two days?" he asked skeptically and I nodded.

"Yep, you can ask me anything, I ate them with the covers" I reassured him. "They were interesting" Max's brow rose.

"I've never seen someone being interested in those specific books" he spoke in disbelieve and Monic laughed slightly beside him.

"Well you were raised here with the knowledge of the factions I was not and that's why it was interesting" I shrugged and tapped on the books with my fingers catching Eric's attention.

"So, when are we going to Erudite?" I asked him. He glared at Max, who on the other hand looked thoughtful.

"You can go on the end of the week." He said finally looking to me and Eric. "You can grab one of the cars too"

I nodded and started to walk away when I felt a tight grip on my hand. I looked back at Eric who looked like he was burned from the touch. He let go quickly.

"Take the books. And meet me after breakfast in my office." His voice sounded like an order and I just nodded my head grabbing the books again.

"Is that all?" I asked before I head back to my table. He didn't say anything more just nodded as he turned around toward his food. I made my way silently toward the tables and sat again with my friends who were watching me like I just got into a lion cage and made it out alive.

"What?" I asked as I continue drinking the last of my coffee.

"I don't know how you manage to go just like that I talk to them." Spoke Will kind of shaking his head. Chris snorted beside him making me a little bit angry.

Ever since our little fight, we weren't at the same spot we were. She still thought I needed to open up to them and it seemed that it was only bothering her. The others looked quite happy of not knowing that much about my past and they were gladly satisfied with the little information I could give them. I, on the other hand, was stubbornly standing my ground telling her that she didn't need to know stuff about me.

"So, did you really had new movies coming out every year?" asked a typical question Uriah. I loved how his mind melted or exploded every time I tell him something new.

"Are you seriously going to ask her another thing? You should have gone to Erudite with that curiosity" pointed out Marlene beside him, making the people on the table laugh.

"What I'm just curious." He shrugged. "If I have to be honest, she needs to be in Erudite with that knowledge" he pointed out.

I shook my head slightly laughing "Oh no, you haven't seen me with physics I'm walking disaster. Biology – even worst"

"But that doesn't mean you have to work as a scientist. You can be a historian" suggested Zeke.

"I love history, but no. I like it here. It's more like myself. Besides reading needs to be to be done for fun not just because you have to" I said.

Will finally join the conversation "You sound like Erudite, only they would tell you that reading is always good"

The table laugh and I didn't miss the strange look that Four gave me. Like he was trying to figure me out or something.

"Not just Erudite. Sometimes she's so truthful even Condor might get offended" said Christina making a lot of the people on the table laugh.

"Well truth hurts more than knives," I said smiling mischievously. But it was the bitter truth.

I finished my coffee and left the cafeteria. I was down the hall when I heard someone calling my name. I turned around. Four was running after me and before I knew it he grabbed my hand and pulled me into a dark corner.

"What the fuck are you doing?" I asked in a high whisper.

"Does Eric know?" he asked me looking around him, making sure we were the only ones here. I looked around as well but I couldn't understand why he was so secretive.

"Know what?" I asked whispering back to him. I could still his hand around my wrist and I pulled it out of his grasp.

"You're too obvious about not sticking with one faction" his blue eyes were burning holes in mine. I wasn't sure if he talked about the same thing I was thinking of.

"Well I wasn't born here so it's hard for me to be just one thing," I said and his eyes were lingering on my face

"So you know what you are?" he asked still so scripted. He was asking me if I was Divergent and my first instinct was to deny. After all, that was what Eric told me- not to tell anyone that I was aware in the simulations and that I was Divergent.

I kept my face confused "I don't know what are you talking about" I told him.

He narrowed his eyes at me "Don't play dumb. I know what you are. Now tell me, does Eric knows?" he pushed the subject and I felt like I was getting angry. I didn't know why he was so set on pushing me to tell him when he already knew, but I wasn't going to tell him. I didn't trust him and I didn't like him. He might think that he was doing with this protecting me from Eric but truth be told Eric maybe had his chance of using it against me and so far he was the most trusted person I could have here.

"I don't know about Eric, but sure as hell, I don't know what are you talking about. Now, can you let me go because I have to be in Eric's office and I'm late" I tried sounding intimidating. He pressed his lips and made a step back.

"Just be careful around him, okay? He might play nice but he's just playing"

Everyone keeps telling me that and how long it would actually take for me to start to believe them? I didn't believe them. I knew he was not a nice guy, but neither was I. I always had one thing in my mind with him that he might have alternative motives and I would not be surprised if something did happen. But the truth was that I was slipping. I was starting to open up more, showing my emotions more to him and that itself was a scary thing. But I wasn't the only one he was doing it too.

"Yeah yeah I know," I said it under my nose and started walking to Eric's office.

"You're making a big mistake going into leadership and if he knows you're in a danger." I heard him shout after me but I didn't turn around nor did I replied.

A small doubt that I wasn't doing the right thing had emerged in my thoughts but I didn't let it grow. I stopped it immediately telling myself that even if this wasn't the right choice and something did happen. I would raise hell and those who hurt me will suffer. But for some reason, I didn't want that to be Eric.  
It was strange I couldn't explain it but I felt like I knew him and at the same time, I didn't. He made me trust him but at the same time doubt him. A lot of people were telling me to be careful and stay away, but what they saw as a threat from him, I saw a normal reaction that I would do and it didn't bother me.

* * *

 **Eric**

I was sitting in my office calmly typing an email when my eyes drifted to the clock on the corner of the screen. A groan escaped me as I saw what time it was. She was late. How hard was it to eat fast and climb a couple of stairs to get to the offices?

Today we start her leadership training, most likely we start with the technology which in my opinion it would go fast as her physical training. After all, she came from years where technology was very known to people.

The sound of the clicking heels started to echo through the halls and I knew very well who was coming. I didn't look up from the screen when the door opened, neither did I turned when I heard the heels stopping in front of the desk. I heard her sitting down on the chair in front of me and complete silence fell.

I liked that about her, she knew when to talk and when to keep quiet. She knew that if I didn't speak to her first then I must be so deep into my work that I most likely didn't unknowledge her, but she stood patiently as always. Sitting in silence waiting for me to speak first.

My mind stopped paying attention to the email in front of me and my head rose to Valeria. She was sitting calmly on the chair right in front of my desk. Her curly dark red hair was falling down hiding parts of her black leather jacket which was zipped down showing the dark red blouse underneath. Her head was turned curiously on the side and her eyes lingered on the bookshelf, that was more for show than an actual read. She had been here before but that didn't stop her to look around, always looking as if she was trying to find something new and she always found it if by any chance there was.

Her hands were on the arms of the chair and her fingers were drumming on them, making an obnoxious sound that was driving me crazy. She looked serious, maybe a little bit way into thought. The happy and energetic girl that I saw a couple of days before when I showed her the apartment was gone. I was very sure that she didn't even acknowledge the emotions she was showing as she ran from room to room yelling and squicking like a girl at the small things. Her walls fell down the mask too and I saw this side of her that I doubted any other person in here was ever able to see. She looked so carefree and I couldn't keep the smile off my face when I saw her. I knew very well that this apartment would be on her liking the minute that I saw it. The strings and begging I had to do were totally worth it the minute I saw her reaction.

I didn't know what pushed me to do something like this and cursed myself afterword that I fell that low. I was never known to care about any other person but myself and here I was acquiring an apartment for her and that was making me mad.

Her green eyes finally focused on me. She might look serious and unemotional but her eyes were telling me something. So strange when you spend a lot of time with someone and you start to understand them without words. I didn't speak just lifted my brow at her. I was not going to push her, if she had something to tell me she would. I knew from experience that if I push she was most likely to stay silent.

"I think Four knows about me," she said almost silently. My brow lifted at her, my back hitting the chair as my fingers played with a pen. I tried to stay calm even though I made sure that she would stay hidden.

"Care to elaborate?"

Her eyes shifted to the window behind me. "He pulled me aside when I left the dining area. He didn't say the name, he just tried to push me into admitting"  
The fact that he was looking at her to notice that she was Divergent was making me angry. I tried to teach her how to hide it as best as I could and even her results, but the fact that he somehow knew was bothering me.

Valeria wasn't very well known to be just one thing. It could be easily seen by someone if he looked close enough and I wasn't even surprised that Four did. He wasn't stupid.

Four hadn't stopped going after her trying to befriend her, telling he all kind of crazy shit just to push her from her choices. I could see that she wasn't affected by him and even so I could see the clear irritation when she speaks to him. He really did get on the wrong foot with her. She was acting like me and he didn't like it one bit.

I secretly liked the way she always shut him up making me want to praise her just for standing up to him. Maybe she was the only person here, beside me, that was tired of his shit.

"I assumed you didn't tell him," I said coldly looking at her reaction. She was telling me this, she could just as easily held that information or lie, but she was telling it. A sigh that she trusted me more than him.

She scoffed "I pretended like I don't know what he was talking about. I think it didn't work but at least he couldn't verify it" she said shrugging still looking at the window.

"I keep telling you. You need to be just Dauntless. Just brave, nothing else. People will start to notice and it will end badly for you" she hated when I lectured her about this and I could see she was getting angry.

"It's not easy to be just brave when I'm selfless, peaceful, truthful and smart. I'm not raised as you are."

"I know but people will start to notice"

"They know that I'm from a different time than they are, they will understand" she raised her voice at me.

"Some people might understand others will see you as a threat, Valeria! And they kill threats. You're a threat to the system and they won't hesitate to make you disappear." I warned her. Her eyes for the first time landed on mine and I could see how something changed in them. Like she just realized something.

"I'm too valuable to kill," she said quietly.

"Don't count on that. You're just as valuable as you could be a threat. And when some people feel threatened they eliminate"

"Are you talking about Jeanine?"

I pressed my lips. We were still hanging with this subject. I knew she wasn't naive to trust her, but at the same time, I feel she could easily drop under her spell.

"Anything else I need to know?" I changed the subject, hearing her huff from frustration that I didn't answer her question.

Her eyes shifted on me "He told me to stay away from you, but hey, that's what everyone has been saying to me since you started to train me but I'm still alive" she half-joked making the ends of her lips turn. Just like that the heavy subject was gone.

"For now" I murmured.

She made a puff sound "You will not get rid of me that easy"

"Oh, I'm very aware of that"

"Besides who will piss off Four when you're not there?" she asked laughing a little bit.

A small amusement smile appeared on my face. "Your right, that's why I need you"

I threw the pen on the desk and opened the drawer pulling out a tablet and a phone. Putting them in front of her I could see the same excitement from the apartment appear on her face.

"No way!" she yelled. Her hands quickly grabbed the phone and her fingers started to skillfully move over the screen. No doubt that we would skip the technology training.

She frowned a little bit. "Ahh…no facebook, no Instagram, not even Pinterest. Where is the World Wide Web?" she said dramatically raising the phone to the ceiling.

I wasn't aware of any of the things she said making me look at the kind of stupidly when she focused on me "Face book?" I asked her "What the fuck is face book?"

She dared snicker in front of me, like I was stupid for not knowing it "Well it was a site where you put pictures of you and you can find your friends there and there was a lot of information that was posted from others, you could even see the pictures other put there." She shrugged but I could see she was barely holding her laughter and that was making me angry."

"Why would someone do that?"

She once again shrugged while her fingers once again started to tap on the screen. "It was kind of stupid, I'm glad that people now aren't that addicted to their phones. Ohh…I could check my emails!"

"Not many people have phones," I told her, her eyes went wide.

"Yeah, I see there is like ten numbers here. Some the leaders here and others that I don't even know."

"That's the basics you'll need now"

"Oh cool. I wonder if my emails are still working" there was a curious look on her face like she was ready for adventure. But then that face started to fade as it was replaced from confusion to sadness. "I couldn't. I bet they don't exist"

"Well, we are using one network that is fit for all of the factions. We could easily send emails to others." I stood up rounding the desk I stood behind her.

"Make an email here" I pointed but she pushed my hand away.

"I know, I'm not stupid" she murmured her head down, making me scoff silently and made my way back to my chair. I didn't know why I tried.

"The tablet is for more advanced work that you'll be doing that sometimes its needed to be done immediately," I said seriously as she nodded her head, but her attention was still on the phone. I pressed my lips. I wasn't sure she even heard the last part or even acknowledge me.

My hand hit the desk hard making her jump on her seat.

"Do you mind looking at me when I talk to you?" I raised my voice.

"I was listening to you. You know that I can multitask. Back in my day people were so good at this- doing something on their phones and making conversation at the same time" she said, telling me yet another history lesson that I didn't need.

"I don't give a fuck what people back in the day were doing. When I'm talking I want your full attention. Am I clear?!" I said it in a voice that I knew she wouldn't dismiss, making thank for her super training she had.

Her expression quickly changed and the joking person disappeared behind the mask. "Yes, I'm sorry," she said and put the phone on the desk. Satisfied with the order I continue.

"So if you open the table there is a couple of programs that you need to get familiar with" she took the tablet a little bit unsure as she was scared I might yell at her again if she looked at it or more like she was waiting for an order "Look at it" I finally said knowing that she wouldn't move a muscle if I didn't say it. Once again proving to me how strictly she had been trained. As if on command her eyes shot to the screen and her fingers once again started to tap on it.

"I'm familiar with the basics, but I'm not sure for what it's used and how," she said finally. I didn't expect less from her. Even when she grew with technology at its peak she was still unaware of the programs that were created now.

"Today I'm going to teach you how to use it"

 **Val  
**  
"So click here and mark it, then slide it over" I was sitting on the comfortable chair as he was looming over my shoulder his head close to mine as he was telling me what to do. The sound of the mouse clicking and moving was heard as I did what he told me. "So basically. It's that," he said making me shiver from the proximity.

"As I expected you didn't need to be tough anything." He straightenеd up behind me and I looked at the clock on the right corner on the screen.

It took him twenty minutes to tell me the basics of every program that I had to use. It wasn't something that I didn't already know so it was easy for him and for me to just tell me overall what I need to do.

"So do you think you'll manage from here?"

"Yep, it's not that hard when I know what it does. Besides it's not that far from programs I've used in the past"

He nodded and placed his hand on the back of the chair turning me around.

"Good, now get the fuck out of my office"

I rose up quickly "Gee…you were such a sweetheart just a minute ago" I murmured and I watched him sit back in his chair.

"Go see Max. He will show you something else you can do." he said not even looking at me and the mouse was already clicking.

"Cool"

I grabbed my stuff and left him there. He had his usual mood swings that made him look like a teenager, which he was but teenager now acted more mature than back then.

I walked down the hall to meet with Max, he was busy but managed to give me up to Monic who was so happy to show me around and tell me what was my responsibilities. We went in the control room and I immediately knew that this was not the job for me. If I had to work here I would have to probably be cross-eyed. You had to have mad skills to be able to look at so many screens at the same time and pay attention.

Gladly my only job was to look if everything was going well with the footage. If there was something deleted or not reported. I had to admit that I felt like a total badass.

Four was there, but he only threw me a quick look before he returned his attention to the monitors.

* * *

A couple of days went by filled with a lot of going around the compound, fetching documents and returning them. I was the newbie now and they made sure that my life was living hell. But I didn't mind one bit. Sure walking from one level to the other and back just because one stupid person forgot to fill one single line on his report, was crazy. But apart for that, I learned new things that I moped like a sponge and I quickly saw myself getting into a rout.

One day in specific I went furniture shopping and after a lot of hours going around and trying to imagine every single furniture how it would work with the other piece of furniture, I finally bought enough stuff to fill a mansion. Of course, my points were low after the purchase but being a leader in training had its perks.

I was standing in front of closed door leaning on the doorframe when I heard footsteps coming from the other side. The door flew open and revealed very pissed Eric.

"Hey, there neighbor," I said very cheerfully.

"Please don't make me regret the fact that I gave you the apartment on the same floor as me" he was frustrated and the smile on my face only made him even more unhappy.

"Well…I bought some furniture and I need a man to help me"

He lifted up his pierced brow. "Can't you call someone else. Like Four maybe"

I gasped "Now you want me to go to Four! But I thought you don't want me around Four?"

He rolled his eyes "I give you only this time if you stop bothering me"

"Why, do you have company?" I asked slightly getting on my toes to peek behind his massive body, but I couldn't see much and he close the door even more.

"Go away Val!" he tried to close the door but I put my foot between the door and the frame. Big mistake.

"Wait! Oh…" I breathed out keeping the door from closing with one hand while the other one was behind my back. "I need a man to help me build a stupid bookshelf that I swear if I spend one more minute thinking how to put it together I might throw it out of the balcony" I plead again.

"NO!" he raised his voice and started to close the door again.

"Wait, wait! I have this" I said and I pulled out a six pack of beers behind my back and juggle them before him. The door stopped and I could see him consider it. "I have more where that came from" I taunt him like a dog.

"Are you trying to bribe me Valeria?" he crossed his arms over his chest as he looked kind of amused.

"Is it working?" I shook the beers again. "Come on take it as a compliment. I could have called Four, but here I'm standing in front of your door. Getting my pride hurt because I have to plead for you to come. I'm that desperate Eric!" I pouted. He as well as I knew that this was just an act to get him to do the thing I wanted, but I knew he couldn't resist the beers in my hands. I watched as his eyes moved from me to the beers and back as he let out a sigh.

"Fine, but I'm coming just for the beers." He said and stepped out of his apartment, the door shutting behind him. I was still leaning on the frame of the door when he came close to me immediately making me hold my breath from the closeness. "And because I made you beg for it," he said darkly leaning slightly toward my face

I gulped from the close proximity and we locked eyes. For a moment I felt like the world stop and we were in this small bubble. I left like a jello under his silver eyes, but the moment ended as fast as it began.

He smirked, easily pulling the beers out of my hand. I hated when he did that, making me second guess my attention or his. With a smirk that I was sure it was about my expression, he started to walk to my apartment. He knew very well what kind of reactions and emotions he get out of me and he didn't miss a chance to make them surface. Throw me off balance, making the mask fall. But I could do just the same to him.

It took me a few minutes to start walking after him unlocking the door to my apartment letting him in. He didn't waste time slipping through the door and stopping to observe his surroundings.

The apartment was a little bit different from the last time he saw it. A few pieces of furniture were changed and there was a huge pile of boards, boxes and screws all around my living room. He looked at the mess and I could see how he was holding a laugh from the sight before his eyes. The mess was everywhere, like a bomb of bookshelves pieces exploded in my living room.

"Okay, let's see what got you so worked up," he said finally and dropped on the floor opening one of the beers. I stood for a minute observing his expressions as he was examining the instructions. His back was leaning on the couch, in one hand he was holding the beer and in the other the instructions. He looked so casual and dare I say out of place. I'd never seen him in this casual sight and surprised me for some reason.

His attention slightly move to me as he lifted his pierced eyebrow at me "Enjoying the view as I try to figure this out?"

I shook my head "I'm sorry, you just look so causal"

He looked confused but his eyes moved back to the piece of paper in his hand "Are you going to stand there or are you going to help me?"

"Yeah, yeah I will help," I said quickly and sat beside him with a beer in my hands.

We spend a couple of hours trying to assemble the stupid bookshelf. I had to admit that it was good to have someone who understands the charts and where to put the small pieces. Mine unknowledge of this kind of stuff earned me a couple of jokes from Eric that I wasn't after all meant for Erudite. But he was strangely getting close to it, making me question what was his faction before Dauntless.

"Hey, do you want spaghetti?"I shouted from the kitchen leaning on one of the counters. Even when the space in my apartment was open I still needed to talk with a high voice in order for him to hear me from the living area.

"You cooked spaghetti?" he was still sitting on the floor assembling the last pieces of the bookshelf and I had to say that It was turning up good.

"Well yeah, what did you thought I was doing in the kitchen?"

"I don't know, getting away from me, leaving me doing your dirty work?" he yelled back making me snort.

"Like you didn't make most of it. I only sat and drank, so do you want to eat?"

"Sure" he simply answered and I immediately started to serve the spaghetti into plates, pouring the sauce on top of them.

"You're not going to poison me are you?" he asked once I gave him the plate and he glared at it like it was going to kill him.

"I don't have my stuff, they're all in Erudite so, for now, you are safe" I joked smiling at him, while I sat next to him on the floor. I started to eat and I was on my third bite when I noticed he was staring at me. "What?" I asked with a half-full mouth.

"I'm just watching to make sure you'll live after you eat" he looked at me with fake concern in his face.

"If I wanted to poison you, do you really think I would put the poison on my plate too?" I lifted up a brow at him, making him grind and he finally took a bite. I was watching him very carefully as the surprised face rose from his natural one. His eyes went wide and his head shot in my direction.

I smiled darkly "Yes, you like it? That is the taste of poison" I said very seriously but it was clear that I was joking.

"At this point, I don't really care if it is, because this tastes amazing" he shrugged and stuffed his face with more. A pleased smile was on my face as I watched him.

"I know that this is the closest you'll get to compliment so thank you"

"Yeah, yeah you're welcome" he waved it off with the fork in his hands and kept eating.

.

"I think it looks good," he said watching the bookshelf which was finally put up against the wall. I tilted my head to the side like it was going to make a difference in my point of view. It did look good, but it was missing something.

"It's too empty," I said tilting my head to the other side. "From where I can buy books?" I asked him, but somehow I doubted he would know.

"There is a market every other week you can try there. Erudite always sells a different kind of books" he shrugged casually, surprising me that he gave me an answer.

"And how do you know that?" I asked him, hoping that I might put him on the spot and he would answer but he was a mystery like usual.

"I'm just observant" he answered making me think that there was more to it than just this simple answer, but I didn't push it I knew he was too stubborn to give me any information about him. "Well I should go" he pointed at the door making a few slow steps toward it.

"Um…thank you?"

"Don't make it a habit" he threw me knowing look and without saying anything else he went out the door leaving me alone in my apartment.

Instantly the apartment became way too big and empty for me, despite the fact that it was filled with furniture. It was silent and it was driving me crazy. I almost wanted to call back Eric so he at least stayed in silence with me, but that would be stupid. With a big sigh, I started to clean up the dirty dishes and admire my empty bookshelf.


	14. Trip to Erudite

It was the end of the week and I couldn't be happier than I was now. I wasn't happy because I had to go to Erudite with Eric. Maybe a small part of me was happy because I could finally see the insides of being a leader and how everything worked. But on the other side, I didn't want to be anywhere near Jeanine. That woman was bad news and I could feel it from miles away.

I was happy because I was finally going to pick up my stuff and I was praying that the capsule was in the same condition I left it. I was hoping they didn't get their hands on my boxes of belonging. If they did I was going to have big problems with them and it wouldn't be pleasant.

My back was leaning on the cold stone wall as I was looking at my boots in high heels. I wasn't going to run after trains today, not that ever stopped me, so I put those badass boots instead of the combat ones. I was waiting for Eric who himself told me the day before to be ready and waiting for him in the corridor leading to the garage, but he was nowhere to be seen.

He was so serious yesterday, slamming his hand on the table scaring everyone on it including me.

"I want you tomorrow waiting for me at nine at the garage entrance" he ordered making sure everyone on the table could hear him.

"Why?" I asked throwing a quick look at him. He hated when I asked stupid questions, even more, when was because of order.

"We're going to Erudite"

He didn't have to say more, my whole face lit up with the news. I knew that I would finally pick up my stuff.

"It's not just for your stuff, we have a meeting with Jeanine" he cleared out, making the smile on my face disappear in a matter of seconds. "Yeah, so be on time" he patted the table with his hand and left. Even though I had to spend time with Jeanine I was happy for my stuff.

So here I was standing annoyed that I was early and waiting for Eric to show up.

Finally, heavy footsteps were heard from the beginning of the corridor making me turn to the sound. He was dressed all in black as usual with his black leather jacket and I had to admit that with this neck tattoo, piercings and half buzzed head he looked like a hired killer ready rise hell. From the way he walked to the way his silver eyes were looking right into your soul there was no doubt that he had weapons hidden somewhere.

"Let's go!" he ordered like I wasn't the one waiting for him but the other way around. I huffed behind him as we entered the garage.

There were a lot of jeeps parked and small busses no doubt bullet proofed.

"I don't have any weapons" I spoke and my voice echoed through the spacious room as we walked through the rows of parked vehicles.

"You don't need any" he stopped at one particular jeep and was about to open the driver door when I stopped him.

"Can I drive?!" I almost shouted. He looked at me skeptically not moving from his spot. I could see him thinking about it before he answered "No"

"Oh come on, I can drive. I'm not driving like a grandma"

"I don't even know how grandmas drive," he said a little bit sharply he was still outside the jeep probably still considering.

"You don't know the road there" he pointed out as he was still frozen on his spot.

"It can't be that changed over the years" the minute I said it I remembered the morning runs where it took me a few days to see how they did change over the years and how Eric used this against me to win. "You'll tell me how to get there, I only have a vague idea."

His fingers were playing nervously with the keys, probably thinking the worst thing it could happen.

"I had a license once, but I don't think that now it would be of any use" I continue to talk with the hope that I might convince him and he looked like he didn't need much convincing.

"Fine! But if I don't like how you drive I'm pulling you over," he warned me with his serious voice and he tossed the keys my way. In a swift motion I coughed them and with a big grin on my face, I walked to the driver's seat while Eric took the passenger. He didn't look quite happy about the fact that he wasn't driving, but I didn't care less.

I started the engine and smiled wickedly at Eric before started to drive. He only rolled his eyes.

We left the garage and I sped up through the streets knowing just a little how to get to the Erudite building. Eric's hand flew quickly clenching the door handle watching me with a surprised look on his face, probably didn't expect my driving skills. But he didn't look scared he looked kind of amused.  
I threw him a quick look smirking at him before my eyes moved back to the road.

My hair was flying behind me from the wind, making me like the roofless jeep even more.

We were moving through the buildings so fast that we basically flew by them. I was a lot easier than once was. Now there was no traffic lights or traffic, people crossing the street. It was nice and creepy at the same time. It made me feel free like nothing couldn't stop me.

"Turn left here!" spoke suddenly Eric pointing at a street on the left. I almost missed the turn but quickly took it, making Eric grab the handle even more tightly. "Are you trying to kill us woman?" he shouted and I laughed at him.

"Just admit it that you like it," I said smirking. For a while, his face was serious before his lips turned upward and he turned his head the other way in order to hide the mood change. But it was too late I already saw the smile.

"So, from what faction you're from?" I asked without thinking. God knows how many times I made that mistake.

"What made you think I transferred, maybe I was Dauntless-born" he lifted his pierced brow looking at me questionably.

"I don't know" I shrugged my eyes glued to the road, I didn't want to see his pissed off look.

"Well, I'm not answering that" now he sounded pissed. I pressed my lips.

"Like you ever answer the questions I have"

I heard him scoffed "Like you do"

"You know more about me, my fears, you have the basic knowledge of my life before the capsule, based on my fears and I don't even know the small things like what was your previous faction" I ranted which seemed to amuse him but he still kept his serious face.

"I'm not telling you, give it up" he spat out finally. A silence fell between us for a long time just the sound of the car on the road was heard.

"Turn here" he spoke again pointing at the direction of the street. I turned quickly.

The moment we turned the change it the streets was noticeable. It was cleaner and there were people walking around in their blue clothes. I had slow down if I didn't want to run over someone.

"If I hit someone what are the charges?" I asked Eric.

"We don't use the cars that often and there aren't any cases of that happening, so I don't know." he shrugged "Maybe you'll be sent to Condor for a trial and then decide what to do with you."

"No cases of ran over people? Damn, once that was a big problem"

He only shrugged again "As I said we don't use the cars very often"

We drove for a few more minutes when Eric told me to pull over in front of the Erudite building and I suddenly felt nervous. The building looked so alien and familiar at the same time.

People were going in and out of the building, doing their stuff. I the sea of blue we were the only two black spots here, making us stand out so much.  
I might feel uncomfortable but all I was feeling was pride that I wore black. I got my head held high as Eric did and we both entered the building. The stares were there, we were so obvious but neither of us paid attention.

Eric led me through the people toward the elevator without even turning to see if I was following, he very much knew I was.

"Don't speak unless she asks you questions. You're a leader in training and your job is to observe and listen." He started talking once we were in the elevator.  
He was serious so was I, nodding at what he said. "We'll get your stuff last, if she does something leave it up to me to take care of it. I know it will be tempting to make death threats but they won't lead you anywhere."

I snorted "I know, I know, I have to be professional. You don't have to worry."

I threw him a reassuring look to which he only nodded and the elevator door dinged announcing that we had arrived.

We walked through several corridors that looked familiar from my first day here as I automatically knew we were going straight to Jeanine's office.  
Before we entered Eric threw me a quick look making sure I was ready. I nodded and he knocked on the door.

Jeanine's voice was heard from behind the door and we made our way in. Her office was the same as last time I saw it - very neat and spacious. She was sitting behind her desk with her blue dress and blonde hair pulled up in a bun.

Her face was surprised when she saw me, but her expression changed quickly with a fake smile.

"Valeria, in what do we owe the pleasure?" her blue eyes moved from Eric to me and back.

"She's our new leader in training," said Eric before I could even get the chance to speak but I didn't mind.

"Oh, a leader in training? I get that you passed initiation without a problem?"

I nodded and Eric spoke with pride in his voice "With flying colors"

"Well I suppose that when you have Eric as a mentor you'll do great" I wanted so bad to tell her that I was good at fighting before Eric, that he didn't do much except some things but I didn't want her to know that.

"Of course" I only said which seemed to satisfy her.

"Well let's go down to business," she said sounding very professional and motion for us to sit on the chairs in front of her desk.  
The meeting itself was boring. Eric did the most talking and I actually got to speak, too. They talked about some security issues and the delivery of the fear serums.

Until I was being dismissed and I once again had to wait for Eric in front of her office.

It felt like the last time I was here, only that time I didn't know what was waiting for me. What this new life was going to bring. I still didn't know that well but I was more aware of how things worked and even if I still felt the nostalgia of the time before this one, I still felt happy.

I was looking at my shoes when the door to her office flew open and like a deja vu an irritated Eric came out. Once again he didn't turn toward me only continued walking and I followed like I had done on more than one occasion.

It made me think what made his so mad but I knew best than to ask.

We walked for a bit before he stopped and turned back.

"You go to lab 1B it's just down the hall, open the capsule and get your stuff. I have to do something but I'll be there shortly," he said it more like an order. I almost thought he forgot about the boxes.

"But they're a bunch of heavy boxes I can't carry them to the car and back without some noses sticking their noses in the boxes"

He chuckled "How do you know that other factions call them noses?" he asked with amusement in his voice.

I shrugged "They stick their noses into books. I do it, why wouldn't they?"

"So your guess was entirely based on coincidence?" he had a smile on his face that made all of my insides melt.

"Um...yeah," I said a little bit hesitant.

"Okay then, I'll be not gone for long, just wait and we'll get your stuff into the car. Just try not to kill any noses" he joked with a mischievous smile.  
"I can't promise you that" I turn around walking down the hall when I heard him chuckle before he himself started walking in the opposite direction of me.

The drive back was silent for most parts. After Eric came from wherever he went, he and a couple of scientists, that looked out of place, helped me with the boxes. Only in my wildest dreams would have I see a snobbish scientist carry boxes but after an angry look from Eric and when they saw I wasn't going to save them, they gave in.

"So what's in the boxes?" asked Eric while I drove us back to the compound.

"Personal belongings" I shrugged, not giving too much information. He didn't like giving me the information I wasn't going to give him too.  
He didn't look happy that I was withholding information but I didn't say anything.

"Why were you angry when you left Jeannine office?" I asked him, relaxing one hand on the window. I wasn't going fast when I did on our way to Erudite, now the speed was normal.

"She stuck her nose where it didn't belong" he gave me an answer and at the same time he didn't.

I threw him a quick look letting him know that I wasn't satisfied with his answer.

"Eric, when will you learn to trust me?"

"I don't know, when will you?" he sounded like a little boy.

"Well, I trust you a little bit, especially with my fears and Divergent thing. But you seemed to not trust me with anything." I was a little bit angry. I didn't know why his trust was so important to me.

"Why do you even want trust?"

"Because, you're my mentor if I don't trust you, who can I?" I raised my voice. He pressed his lips and turned his head to the other side, making it hard for me to see his face.

"Do you trust Jeanine?" he asked quietly.

"Do you work for her?" I answered him with a question and he looked pissed so was I.

"For a person who wants trust, you can't gain it"

"I'm not answering you this because I don't trust you!" I yelled.

"Well how do you expect from me to answer it when I don't trust you either!" he yelled back.

My hand gripped the wheel tightly and my foot was itching to step on the pedal hard and speed up, but I wasn't going to act on my emotions.

"God damn it, Eric!" I yelled gripping the wheel harder.

"What do you want Valeria I don't trust you with anything?" he threw his hands in the air and I started to think he might just as well leave the moving car just to escape this conversation.

"You don't give me anything that it's worth trusting."

"Well someone has to do the first step"

"You know more about me than I know for you. I've made the first step, now you need to tell me something."

"Why do you even want to know things about me?"

"Because I'm interested, why do you want to know things about me? Because it's good to know something about someone."

"Why, because then you can use it against them? You and I are very much alike Valeria. You're not stupid, you know that the most someone knows something about you the most they can use it against you." and he was right. I didn't know why I wanted to know things about him more than I did for other people but I wanted something even it was a small thing. Maybe that's how Christina felt with me. "And I'm sure that you had your fair share of assholes who used that information against you"

I stayed silent because he was right.

"Yes but you test someone's trust too. Do you think I like the fact that you know things about my past?" I said quietly to tired to argue with him.

"Yes but I can't risk it!" he said quietly too and shook his head.

"So you think I can risk it? You're the only one in Dauntless that knows what my fears mean."

"Barely" he scoffed.

"Well, that is more than what anyone else knows." I threw him a quick look before my eyes moved back to the road ahead. "I trust you with that information, I trust you with my Divergency. But I have doubts that you're just playing nice so you can use it against me"

"So you need a leverage is that it?" he spat back throwing cold looks at me. My hand gripped the wheel was throwing me off balance like he always does. It was hard for me to understand and explain why this was so important for me and I felt like I was being weak in this moment. I could hardly call it a leverage, I was just curious about him. I pressed my lips and didn't say anything more.

"So now you're giving me the silent treatment. Typical!"

"Whatever Eric!" I spat out trying to calm myself before I do something stupid a crush us. "Whenever you want to tell me something, I'm here and I'm not going to use it against you" I didn't look his way, my eyes were glued on the road but I could feel his eyes on me. He looked at for a long time studying my expression, probably wondering if I meant it.

"I mean it" I threw him a quick look, locking his eyes with mine, making him understand that I _did_ mean it. He didn't say anything, I didn't expect for him to do. I knew he wasn't from the people who needed to be pushed. When he wanted to tell me something he would.

"Same for you," he said almost in a whisper, making me wonder if I heard him right.

The rest of the way to Dauntless was silent, neither of us spoke anymore. I was a little mad at him but I understood him perfectly.

When we arrived the boxes from the car were delivered straight to my apartment with the help of some Dauntless members but none of them was Eric. The minute I stopped the car at the compound he barked a few orders for my boxes and disappeared without a sight.

The boxes were placed upon a blank wall in my apartment. I didn't even make an attempt to open them. I didn't have the guts for it. For all, I knew they would sit there for a long time until I feel brave enough to face the content. The only thing that made me feel better was the fact that they weren't in Erudite anymore.

With a sigh a left my apartment getting into my work as a leader in training and fetching papers as usual.

* * *

 _ **Here it is the next chapter!  
If you're wondering where Eric went in Erudite, we'll find out in the next chapter. **_  
_**As always thank you all for reading! ^^**_


	15. The bravest of them all

_**Who is ready to know more about Valeria's previous mentor? You know I am.**_  
 _ **Warning! It might make you cry!  
Thank you all for reading! ^^  
**_

* * *

 _ **Eric**_

I was staring at the book in front of me. It was thinner than I expected. I looked through it without reading it. There was a lot of pictures and not a lot of text, but considering it was a children's books I didn't expect anything more. I looked a the cover. There was a girl with dark red hair that was falling in curls on her back. The same hair I see every day now for the past weeks. The girl's head was turned as she looked over her shoulder smiling at me and her dark green eyes were shining with happiness. It wasn't something I haven't seen before as the same eyes were looking at me and sometimes even that same smile appeared. The background was very familiar. It was a forest and around her were colorful leaves. It looked like one of her fears where she was running after her mentor and he never turns for her.

Somehow the book was in front of me and I didn't have the guts to open it. I came to know Valeria a little bit more for this past few weeks. She trained for leader after all, with me never the less. The previous need for finding more information about her or her previous mentor quickly faded away the minute I had that book in my hands. My mother was kind to give it to me and from what she told me, now I didn't want to read it.

My fingers started to drum on the hard surface of my desk as I watched the book sitting there mocking me. The knock on my door woke me up from my trance I looked up seeing Max as he entered.

"How was the trip to Erudite? Did Valeria take her belongings from there?" he asked impatiently. Even for him the items she had left there were important. Even he as same as Val didn't want them to fall into Jeanine's hands and neither of them did. She for some reason told me that they had tried to open the storage area of the capsule but failed and their only thing that was left was to wait for Valeria to come and retrieve the items.

"She did. There were a lot of boxes. Jeanine wasn't able to open it, so she just let her go with her belongings. But I didn't like the fact how easy it was" I expressed my concern as my eyes found their way back to the book on the desk. Max sat on the chair in front of me and sighed. "There is definitely something going on" I continued.

"Definitely" he agreed quietly. His hand reached for the book and I shifted my eyes to him questionable.

"What's this?" he asked but I didn't have to answer him. The moment he saw the cover he understood.

"So you found the book about her" he smiled and threw me a dirty look which made me frown at him. "Have you read it already?"

I shook my head "No"

"And why, you wanted to know so bad about her previous mentor and her past. Now you have the information in front of you and you didn't read it?" he looked skeptical. I myself didn't know why I didn't read it the minute I got it. But how much I told myself that I didn't know why I didn't read it, deep down I knew why.

"I wanted to know until my mother handed it to me and told me that it's very sad love story. And now I'm not sure if I want to read it or wait for her to tell it" I said looking at the book in Max's hands.

"Since when do you care?" he joked making me a little bit irritated.

"She always talks how she doesn't trust me and by reading it I prove that she can't trust me"

"Or is it the fact that it's a sad love story and you don't want to know what happened with her previous mentor and her?" asked Max grinding hitting right in the target with the statement. The little truth was that he was right. I didn't want to know what their relationship was. She was always distant talking about him, never telling too much and now I knew why. Max didn't wait for me to answer only smirked at me and opened the book. He started to read and I desperately wanted to peek and see what he was seeing. But I leaned on my chair watching his reactions. I could see him raise his eyebrows questionably then dropping them down, frowning a little bit at a times even smiling and my impatience grew bigger. I needed to know. Finally, Max leaned on his chair and sighed.

"That was indeed a sad love story. Is this the only book about her?"

"My mother said that there were books about the clans of women and what they do, but this is the only one that is especially for her. I remember very clearly that you said you didn't want to read it. If I'm not mistaken" I asked him and he shrugged.

"I didn't know it was that thin." He said and started to stir through the pages searching for something. "I would say it's good to put a face to the name but I don't even know his name," said Max watching at something in particular on the page.

"She called him Eli in her fears," I said quietly, already knowing how he looked like. He seemed to always show up with his back against her but sometimes he showed on her first fear, giving me the opportunity to see him better. Max once again shrugged and put the book back on my desk. He looked up at me like he knew something I didn't and that made me obnoxious.

"What?" I snarled at him.

"You will understand eventually" he simply said. I held a laugh "Since when did you start to talk in riddles?" I asked him jokingly. He seemed a little bit aback but smiled never the less.

"Since you started to care what people might think of you if you do something or dare I say just a certain person" he smiled knowingly.  
The knock on the door brought our conversation to the end.

"Yes," I said annoyed by the interruption but pleased at the same time that I didn't have to keep talking with Max. The door opened and my heart stopped when I saw the dark red curls.

"I'm bringing you the files you wanted," she said sliding in my office. She approached my desk without any fear smiling at Max and giving me the files. I reached and took them from her. I opened them making sure there was everything I need.

"Is that my book?" she asked suddenly pointing at my desk. My eyes widened for a second cursing myself that I slipt and didn't hide the book.

"It is," I said coldly looking at her like she just didn't bust me.

"What is it doing on your desk? Did you read it?" her voice changed drastically form surprised to threatening in a matter of seconds. On the corner of my eyes, I could see Max smirking. Definitely thinking how much she reacts like me at a time. I ignored him and got my attention to her still glaring daggers at me pointing at the book.

"I didn't"

"Then what is it doing here?"

"I took it from Erudite. Didn't you want to read it?" I asked, changing the subject quickly. She raised her eyebrow at me, not sure how to react. I didn't take it because of her, but I wasn't going to tell her so I played the card of concern friend.

"Can I take it?" she asked like a scared child unsure if it was allowed to have something.

"Sure take it, it's yours" I brushed it off and I watched her pick up the book. If I wanted to learn more about her, the time passed now. My chances now lay on her to tell me. I swallowed hard watching her open the book, watching her expressions carefully.

She turned a couple of pages before a gasp escaped her and her hand flew quickly covering her mouth. From where I stood I could clearly see tears peeking in her eyes even though she did the best to hide them. I didn't know what she saw that made her react like that, but whatever it was it had to do something with _him_.

She cleared her trough trying hard not to fall apart before our eyes. She didn't look up form the book and her hair once again fell on her side making a wall.

"It's mine now, right? I can take it?" she asked again a little bit impatiently.

"Yes, take it"

"Do you need something else or I'm done for today?" she asked like she was in a hurry and I had the feeling it had something to do with the book in her hands.

"No, that is for today," I said cooly and I saw how she nodded, before rushing to the door. Her quick steps could be heard from the empty hall as she ran down. Her heels hitting the stone floor. I looked up at Max who seemed just as shocked as I was.

"You read it, what could make her react like that?" I asked him but he only shrugged. "She was looking something on the first pages, I skipped those," he said and started to walk toward the door.

"Do me a favor and check up on her later," he said before closing the door. I didn't know why he decided to charge me with this, but it was no point of lying that we were close.

 _ **Val**_

I barely made it to my apartment holding onto the book and holding the tears that were threatening to spill. Once I was inside and the door closed behind me I broke down. Clenching the book on my chest I sobbed like I haven't sobbed in a while.

I slowly moved to the couch and looked at the book in my hands. It was thin but collected more than I could ever imagine. _'The bravest of them all'_ it said on the cover just above the red-headed girl on a forest path. It looked so familiar that made me question who wrote it.

I got this question answered the minute I opened in Eric's office. For a second I was mad at him because he had it since we returned from Erudite and he didn't give it to me. A small part of me was not trusting him when he said that he didn't read it. But these emotions were quickly gone when I opened the few pages seeing the name of the author.

 _Eliot Keller_ , it said, making the tears in my eyes spill even quicker. My heart hurt. It hurt so bad like the last time I saw him when I made him promise me. The tears were spilling at that same time but he wasn't here now to brush them away and reassure me that everything was going to be okay.

 _The corridor was dark, just enough for us to stay hidden. Not that it mattered anymore. My body was leaning on the cold stone wall but I didn't pay attention to that. My emotions were too strong to even care about the cold. A small light was coming from the near open door that was leading to the chamber and I could hear the sound of hurried steps and hushed voices as their prepared everything._

 _My gaze shifted up to the person standing in front of me. He was watching the same room and I could see in his face how much it hurt him._

 _We both knew what that meant, we talked so much about it but neither of us was ready. I wasn't even sure if we would be ever ready for this._  
 _Just for him to be so close and knowing it was the last time, made my heart clench in my chest and tears to spill out of my eyes. I knew I had to do it but it cost me everything. The sob that escaped my lips caught his attention and his dark brown eyes, that now looked darker, landed on me. His gaze softened when he saw the tears. He pulled me closer to his warm body and the coldness from the stone on my back didn't feel that threatening anymore._

 _"It's going to be okay" he reassured me, but it was a lie and I knew it. I shook my head on his chest, my hands around his body refusing to let him go. Like if I didn't squeeze him tighter he might perish before my eyes. I wanted to remember this. How this felt. How he felt against my body, how his hands were holding me tightly, how he smelled, how he smiled and that cute dimple appeared every time. How he talked, joked or ordered every time._

 _I wanted to remember it all and I was scared that someday I might forget._

 _"It's not"_

 _I felt his hand on my hair slightly caressing me with a calming manner but that made me clench his body even more._

 _"Oh Val, how bad I want to just get you out of here without no one even noticing us. We would just run, hide somewhere. I don't even care where I just don't want to let you go" he spoke softly and suddenly that picture sounded so perfect._

 _"I want that, but I have to do this" I sobbed. I never knew how hard for me was going be to let go of him. To let go of everything in my life and start a new one._

 _We shouldn't have started a relationship knowing that this day might come, but neither of us could help it. I was set on doing it and he wasn't from the people to stop me from doing it just because he was greedy and wanted something. He better than anyone else knew what was need to do your duty and he never told me to give it up._

 _"I know"_

 _His soft lips were on my head and I could hear him take a deep breath. It was killing him slowly and I couldn't do anything to prevent it._  
 _He pulled his body a little bit away from mine just enough for him to look at my face. His hands were now cupping my face lifting it up to look up to his eyes._

 _"You are the bravest person that I know. I don't have the slightest doubt that you won't survive there. You are a fighter. The best of all them. The bravest of them all" a small smile appeared on my face as the warm tears spilled into his hands. "You'll do good. You'll wake up and face everything that the new life will throw you and I know you'll do great. You'll not give up, not letting people doubt you, manipulate you or use you. Am I clear?" his voice quickly changed into the authority voice I know so well._

 _"Yes, sir!" he smiled sadly._

 _"Do whatever it takes to survive and I know you'll. After all, I taught you well" his thumbs brushed off the fallen tears from my cheeks. Just the small gesture and the words made me cry harder clenching his shirt more._

 _Small footsteps came from the open door and a familiar figure came into view._

 _"It's time now. Come on, there's no need for more pep talks and teaching lessons." Said my grandmother but I could feel the hint of sarcasm in her voice. Eliot frowned but said nothing to her._

 _"I'll be there in a few," I said coldly throwing daggers at her. Once she was this warm-hearted woman, teaching me everything she knew. Now was just a stranger that was never satisfied with my doings. She scoffed and disappeared._

 _A panic rose in me as I looked up at Eliot with scared eyes. It was happening and I wasn't ready to let him go just yet. Sensing my panic he held me closer, still making me look up to his eyes._

 _"Val, listen to me. You can do this! Don't show anyone what can make you hurt. All of those lessons I gave you – they will serve you well. I know you will be just fine" his voice was soft but it was only making me cry harder when the minutes were counted. He kissed my forehead I could see the pain in his eyes and every little gesture he made._

 _"I left you something in those boxes, something to remember me by."_

 _"What?" I barely asked. I felt him smile on my head._

 _"I'm not telling you. You'll see once you open them" He hugged me closer and buried his face in my hair. As I lifted my head up I was met by his soft lips. The tears were sliding down my cheeks, my heart was racing and for a second the thought of running away with him crossed my mind. But he would let me run from my responsibility, even though it was hard for him too._

 _"I want you to promise me something," I said when we pulled from the kiss. He nodded rapidly ready to promise me everything I want. "I want you to stay alive when you fight in the war. I know you can do it, use some things I thought you too" I smiled sadly so did he. "And when you win the war…" my voice started to break and the tears were spilling quickly just from thinking about the thing I was about to make him promise "…when you win it I want you to let me go…"_

 _"Val" he interrupted me and I only shook my head._

 _"I want you to meet a nice woman and I want you to marry her…"I was sobbing hard not knowing if he was understanding me._

 _"Val, please"_

 _"No!" I yelled "I want you to promise me, that you will marry her and have kids with her. I don't want you to forget me, but don't let me stand in your way of happiness. Then when you have kids tell them my story" his forehead leaned on mine I could see he was struggling with his emotions._

 _"Val…"_

 _"Just promise me!"_

 _His hands clenched my face as he shut his eyes squeezing them close. "I promise" he finally whispered. His eyes finally opened and I could see the tears in them that were threatening to spill. For the first time, I saw him this emotional. He was always so well with his emotions. "But…I want you to promise me the same"_

 _I shook my head "Val, it's only fair. Don't hold onto me. I'll be not there. So promise me the same" The hurt in his voice was clear._

 _"I promise" I sobbed making him nod and lean for another kiss which felt more painful than any a knife through the heart._

 _"Valeria, come on its time!" shouted my grandmother. I threw my hands around Eliot's body trying once again to remember the smallest things about him. All I wanted was to melt into his embrace and never let him go._

 _"Come on you have to go." He whispered softly kissing the top of my head once again. Those little kisses always spoke more than any other kiss he ever gave me._

 _I didn't want to pull away from him but I did, slightly leaning in his embrace as he led me to the room. My legs were like jello, my mind and heart were screaming for me to turn around and run. But I had to do it._

 _"Everything that you need it's in the capsule. The books that most Elder families gave us. Your belongings are there. The only thing missing is you" said my grandmother throwing quick glances at Eliot. He wasn't a fan of her since he understood why he was training me. But he couldn't say a thing about it, it wasn't his place to say it._

 _I glanced at the open capsule that looked more like a casket for me. They told me what was about to happen with my body and even though I felt a little bit scared I was ready to face everything._

 _Eliot helped me to sit in the capsule and with reassuring but sad smiled he helped me lay. It was comfortable but my heart was grasping on every little detail on Eliot. The tears once again started to spill out of my eyes. I wasn't sad just because of him, I was sad for all of the people I was leaving behind, my parents too. But he was the one that was here, making it more painful. But I was happy because it would be the last face I see before I fell asleep._

 _His hands were slowly stroking my head as the people around me prepared the capsule._

 _"Be brave, be strong. Never give up. Don't let your fears control you, don't let other people too. You are strong to do everything you put your mind on" he once again started with the pep talk making me smile. "And that is an order!" he said firmly, leaning over me kissing my lips softly._

 _"Yes sir" I whispered. He didn't pull away just yet he was watching me with his brown eyes probably he too savored the moment of us being so close._

 _"We are ready" I heard someone said. Making me slightly panic, but the hand that was caressing me and his warm eyes were calming me down._

 _"I love you" he whispered just enough for me to hear him._

 _"I love you too," I said between the tears. With a last kiss that I wanted to continue forever, he pulled away and I immediately felt his absence. He was standing above the capsule, that once again felt like a casket._

 _"Goodbye my Valeria" I head my grandmother say beside Eliot, but my eyes were on him._

 _"Bye"_

 _The glass top of the capsule slowly started to fall down, making my heart hurt more if that was even possible. I wanted to scream, to bail and run off with him so bad but I knew I was the only one that I had to do it._

 _My eyes never left Eliot's eyes as his mine. Even when the top started to blur his face or was it my tears I wasn't sure. When it closed fully and the vacuum was pressed my eyes never left his brown once. I could see his sorrow and hurt in them as he was watching me from above. I could only imagine what it felt like for him. I soft smile appeared on his face but I could see it was forced._

 _I could only imagine what it would be like to wake up after God knows how many years and remember that he was gone and everyone that I knew._  
 _I watched his eyes as I felt mine close, opening them quickly fighting to stay awake just watch him more. But I couldn't hold them anymore and I felt like I was drifting into a deep slumber._

Deep slumber filled with brown eyes _._

I was still sobbing on the couch when I heard the bang on my door. I was once again at my empty apartment hundred and more years later. He wrote a book. My mind couldn't comprehend it. I asked for a story and he wrote a book. I laughed softly while the tears were still falling.

"Valeria open up!" I heard Eric's voice filled with authority but I couldn't afford him seeing me like this, so I just kept quiet. The banging continued with a couple of shouts. I flinched every time his fist hit the door but I didn't move from my spot. I didn't want him to see me like this. I didn't want to explain or talk to anyone.

The tears were still spilling out of my eyes as the banging stopped. I was so tired of crying. My gaze moved to the unpacked boxes. He left something there. Something that was sitting there for all these years. But I couldn't bring myself to open the stupid boxes. Too many memories and I was too tired to cry over what was lost. Even though it was bugging me to know what he left me, I couldn't.

A soft knock was heard this time from the door. It wasn't Eric for sure. I wasn't even sure if he was capable to knock that softly.

"Val, what's wrong? Can you open up?" I heard Tris's voice. This time I had the urge to open and hug her, cry my eyes out in front of her. But I still stood in the same spot I was. That was a weakness. That was relying on someone. I couldn't afford it, especially when I was at my lowest. So I stayed quiet waiting for her to give up eventually and leave. And she did, leaving me once again in the quite with my book in hands, crying over it like I had never cried before.

The next day I made sure no one was able to see my puffy eyes. I cried myself to sleep but with a shower and makeup I tried to hid it well.

I was sitting at our usual table and pretended like nothing had happened. I could see the concern glances Eric threw me now and then. I knew very well that I couldn't fool him, he knew me too well and he was able to see right through my mask.

"Are you feeling good?" asked Tris suddenly.

"Yes, sorry about yesterday I was so tired from that trip to Erudite all I wanted was to relax" I forced a smile. Christina was looking at me tensely probably seeing that I was lying. Sometimes I cursed her Condor eyes.

"Well it sounded more urgently" murmured Chris before her attention went to her food.

"What do you mean?"

This time it was Tris who spoke "Well, Eric was like a fury finding us and commanded to go see how you were doing. Said that you didn't open the door for him so he thought it will work for us. But he didn't say why so I just assumed it was something serious"

I laughed softly "I just didn't want to open the door and he went on a murderous spree? Don't worry it was nothing serious, he just doesn't like when I don't follow his orders" I partly lied. Half of it was true so I didn't feel guilty of doing it.

"If you say so," said Tris with a smile on her face, probably happy about the fact that I was fine and everything was well. But deep down for me, it wasn't well. Memories were haunting me and the boxes were mocking me every time I enter the apartment.

"You know, initiation is coming soon," said suddenly Tris.

"It must be cool to be with someone else and not alone" I joked. Brightening the mood a little bit. I was tired of being sad over what it was lost at least now when I was with them I could smile and forget even for a few minutes.

"Not really, Peter was a dick," said Christina.

"Who Peter, the guard at the wall, Peter?"

"The one!" said both of them at the same time, making them look at each other and laugh.

"I can take him with my pinky finger!" I raised my voice. A few people from the other tables turned to look at me.

"He tried to kill Tris because she was first in the second stage of the training" Christina whispered like it was a big secret. My jaw drops, the guts this guy had.

"Tell me that he got his ass kicked"

Tris smiled widely "Four kicked his ass pretty good"

We started to laugh. "Damn I want to see that. But now when I think about it. It was good that I was alone"

"Yep!" agreed Chris.


	16. Party

**_New chapter...Whoohoo..._**  
 ** _I don't know how I feel about this one but I'm leaving it up to you to see if you like it or not, especially in the end *glancing away with a huge grin*_**  
 ** _Prepare yourselves for two long chapter after this one ;)_**  
 ** _As_ _usua_ _l_ _, thank you all for reading!_**

* * *

As I promised my friends I threw a big party at my new apartment. Correction, Christina threw a big party that happened to be in my apartment.  
With my training to be a leader I didn't have time to think about throwing a party, so I left everything to Chris to decide and she was more than happy to get her hands on it. I let her have full freedom and do as she please and she did. Even though things with her a still a little bit shaky she helped me, making me think she finally understood her place.

My apartment was filled with alcohol in a matter of hours and different kind of snacks. I half expected balloons but for my happiness there was none. She complained a lot about the unpacked boxes that were put up against one of the walls on the first floor. But I wasn't ready to open neither one of them so they just sat there unpacked like they did for most of these years.

Christina was making the finishing touches when a crowd of people entered from the front door, the music started to play and the party was on full. Half of the people here I didn't know but that didn't stop me to have fun.

"Nice apartment you have there" I heard Uriah beside me, holding his cup. "Now I wish I was a leader"

"Well not everyone can have that kind of sweet apartment, besides it's on the same floor as Eric's so you don't want that" he frowned and shook his head.

"No thank you," he said making me laugh. My eyes caught on Marlene who now entered with Lynn. Uriah saw them too making me elbow him to get his attention.

"So whats up with you and Marlene?" I asked like the typical girl but I hated when they did that to me.

"Nothing" he looked like a scared rabbit, searching for somewhere to hide. I narrowed my eyes at him. "Come on, it's obvious"

He shrugged and his eyes were on her "I like her, okay but I don't think she likes me. Don't you have some magical love potion for her?" he joked but I knew he was nervous talking about this.

"Yeah a love powder that when it's inhaled the person falls in love with you"

"Seriously" his head shot right at me and his eyes were wide in disbelieve.

"No" I laughed at his sudden frown. "Go talk to her. I believe she doesn't need a magical love potion, anyways" I pushed him toward her and winked at him once he turned around pleading me with his eyes to not making him do this.

"Thank god you pushed him into talking with her, he wouldn't do it" someone spoke next to me. Turning around I saw Tris. Her long blond hair that usually was up in a ponytail was now loose on her shoulders. She was wearing her jeans and shirt, rather than dress like me, but she still looked good.

"I don't understand it. They're friends and they make it so hard."

She shrugged beside me "It's their thing, not everyone is jumping into relationships"

We stayed quiet for a while watching my apartment get filled with strangers and some known faces as they all danced and drank. Tris looked around the apartment and her eyes fell on the boxes.

"Why didn't you unpacked them?"

"I'm not ready" I answered simply praying she would change the subject.

"Too many memories, huh?" I only nodded, drinking from my beer.

A couple of hours went by and I was still watching from the end of the party while the others were having fun. I was so into my thoughts that I didn't hear Eric's big body leaning on the wall next to me.

"Nice party."

I huffed at him "It's boring"

"Yeah, it's. I only said it so I can get your real feeling"

"I always express my true feelings" I threw him a quick look just in time to see him smirking. He was as usual dressed in all black with a beer in his hands. I started to get used to seeing him liked this – casual. We might or might not have been sitting alone in my apartment drinking beer and watching old movies. No one knew about those movie "dates" and we both were good at playing the part of nothing happened.

"Nice bookshelf, who build it?" he joked making me snort beside him.

"Some guy that I didn't remember his name."

I heard him chuckle beside me "What did you pay him?"

"Aaah…you know typical, he refused beer or food so I offered sex," I said serious but I could see Eric barely holding a laughter.

"Was he good?" he asked playing the game.

"Naah…I had better" I took a sip from my beer barely holding the smile I had. Eric's head was turned in the other direction guessing he too barely held himself not to laugh out loud in front of all these people here.

"Okay, everyone. People who are not close friends to Val, get lost. Others stick around for some games" yelled Zeke and the crowd started to leave with disappointed faces. Eric boosted himself off the wall and made a few steps before my hand flew and caught his.

"Where are you going?" I asked him.

"Leaving?" he answered lifting his pierced brow, that sounded more like a question than a statement. I shook my head. The thing with him was never just good or bad. We could fight and yell at each other and on the next day it was like nothing happened. I wouldn't say he was a friend but he wasn't a stranger like most of the people here were.

"No, you're staying."

His eyes were examining my face like he was trying to figure out if I was serious or not. Then he shrugged and started to walk toward the living area making himself comfortable on the armchair. Of course, I got a couple of strange looks from most of the people left here. With a shrug, I sat down on the sofa and waited for all of them to gather.

The booze was on the coffee table and everyone was around it. When I look around it was strange for me to see how many people I came to know while I was here. Eric who sat on the armchair with a beer bottle in his hand, Marlene, and Lyn who sat next to each other on the sofa next to me, Uriah on the other side of Marlene. Then there were Chris and Will who were sitting on the floor in front of me, Tris and Four chatting between each other like they were in their own little world. There were Loren, Shauna, and Zeke too. Suddenly my big living area became so small and full but I was happy of the sight. For the first time, I didn't feel so alone after all.

"So what kind of game are we playing?" I asked making myself comfortable on the sofa, with my leg up to my body.

"We are going to play Condor or Dauntless," said Zeke very enthusiastically.

"Is this something like truth or dare?" I looked at every person waiting for someone to answer me, most of them nodded, some held their laughter like I asked a stupid question.

"Have you guys played never have I ever?" I asked quickly seeing their confused faces.

"How do you play?" asked Lynn.

"I say 'never have I ever...' and I say something I have never done. If you guys had done it, you take a sip, if you haven't you don't take a sip" I explained and I started to see a little interest on their faces.

Zeke clapped "Okay let's start but be aware we like to play dirty" I shrugged like it wasn't big of a deal. "Then you start" he offered, looking at me.

"Never have I ever…" I looked everyone around me. "…been to Amity" I knew it was stupid but there were not many things I haven't done.

Eric beside me snored and took a sip from his bottle, only him. I looked around surprised, no one here hadn't been too?

"Never have I ever glided down the Hancock building," said Four, making all of the people in the room take a sip from their drinks except me. I looked around frantically.

"What is that?" I asked my eyes landing on smirking Eric. "You'll see someday" he only said making me angrier, because I'd missed it the inside joke.

"Come on guys you can do worse than that" raised his voice, Zeke. "Never have I ever trained the initiates" That earned him quick mean glances from Four and Eric before they took a drink too.

"I see that you get the point of the game," I said pointing at Zeke, who only winked.

"Never have I ever kissed a girl" spoke Marlene. I looked around and all of the guys took a sip from their drinks. I raised my bottle to my lips praying that I would be left unnoticed when I heard a gasp.

"No way!" Uriah pointed at me. Everyone's attention was on me now.

"Talk now!" demanded Chris.

"There is nothing to say. I just kissed her. Who's next?" I quickly changed the subject. Chris murmured unhappily but let it go.

"Never have I ever been drunk," said Tris quickly, earning a few side glances from all of us as we all took a sip from our drinks.

"Okay, lets spice things up. Never have I ever been in a threesome" said Lynn. The eyes of all of the people in the room started to shift between people just to see who would take a drink. I smiled wickedly and raised my bottle and took a sip just when I saw with my sideglance how Eric too took a sip from his beer. We were the only once. Our eyes met and I could see how the ends of his lips were slightly curled in an amusing smile.

I raising my hand to him. Smirkingly he high fived me. The sound of slapping hands was too loud in the now silent room while everyone starred like they had seen a ghost.

"Okay, Eric it's not a surprise. But Val! Talk now!" shouted Christina. I wasn't sure if it was from the alcohol or I was letting go, but I didn't care if they knew something about me.

I shrugged "It just happened"

"Oh come on, that can't just happen" snort Lynn beside Chris. I shrugged again.

"I experimented and that's all I'm going to say"

"Two guys or a girl and a guy?" asked Christina instantly. Her whole body was leaning forward expecting the answer."Or two girls?" her eyebrows wiggled. I shook my head laughing slightly "Not telling you" There was a slight disappointment in her face but she knew that I won't tell her anything else.

We played a few rounds, most of us drank more than others. Me being one of those people with Eric right beside me.

"Never have I ever been in love with my mentor," said Christina with a wicked grin on her face like she just spoke my biggest secret. I knew she was referring to Eric but that wasn't the case. I took a sip and I could see her smile getting wider like she coughed me.

"I knew it!" she said looking at Eric. Eric was calm as ever, he was looking at her too but there was the dark grin on his face.

"What you think it's me?" he asked but he knew the answer. I snorted beside him earning a very confused look from Christina and a couple of people.

"What you thought you'll get me to spill. It's not Eric" I said confidently and took a sip again from my beer. "Lets, try Condor or Dauntless because I think I'm going to get drunk if we continue this game" I quickly changed the subject.

"So Val as the newest member of Dauntless. Condor or Dauntless?" asked Zeke daringly.

For some reason, I always hated this kind of games. I never knew what to ask the person in front of me and I wasn't very creative with the dares but decided to play anyways so I wouldn't be the outsider as usual.

"Condor"

"Pff…pansycake!" murmured Uriah, immediately catching my attention.

"What the fuck is a pansycake?"

"Dauntless slang it's supposed to be offensive but no one uses it anymore because it isn't offensive and just stupid" explained Shauna who was sitting next to Zeke.

"Well, I didn't feel offended so you have to work on your swear words" I patted him on the shoulder and he looked quite unhappy about it.

"Okay okay, let me ask you something" caught Zeke back the attention to him. "Tell me one of your fears"

"If I don't want to answer I drink or strip?"

"We strip but come on that isn't a hard question" complained, Zeke.

"No, it's not a hard question I just asked" I threw a quick look at Eric who sat there confidently in the armchair with his beer in hands. His eyes landed on me. He was the only one in the entire room who knew my fears. I moved my eyes to the bottle in my hands and before I start to look weak I answered.

"Hurting the people I care about" Zeke nodded and pointed at me, telling me it was my turn to ask.

"Uriah, Condor or Dauntless?"

"Dauntless," he said confidently but his smile disappeared the moment he saw my mischievous one.

"I expected you to say that. Kiss Marlene" he widened his eyes. "But…long kiss, I don't want to see a peck" They both looked uncomfortable like they were ready to sink to the ground from embarrassment. They should thank me later I pushed them a little into the right way. Uriah leaned pressing his lips to Marlene. The kiss itself was sweet and when they separated I could still see how they were in their own little world. Tris caught my attention by smiling to me knowingly. I guess tonight I played the part of a matchmaker.

Eric was looking around when his eyes landed on Four "Four, Condor or Dauntless?" he asked.

"Dauntless," said Four without thinking. Eric smiled darkly "I want you to make out with Tris in front of us" That itself was mean. I knew that they both didn't like showing affection in front of the others and the fact that he had to do it for a dare was mean. But I didn't expect any less from Eric he would do everything to make someone uncomfortable, Four more than anyone. Four and Tris were a little bit hesitant but started to kiss anyways earning too a few whoops and cheers from their friends. Smirkingly I threw a quick look at Eric letting him know that I knew what he just did.

The game continued with a couple of uncomfortable truths about more fears and dares that were too outrageous but people did them anyway. Some took their clothes, declining to say who their crush was, other because they had to bug Max in his office which never ended up well.

"Val, Condor or Dauntless?" asked me Christina with a huge smile on her face. I would have guessed she had something in mind. "Dauntless," I said and I saw how her smile grew bigger.

"Go sit on Eric's lap until the end of the game" she looked like she had given me the biggest dare in the history of dares and her smile quickly disappeared when she saw me shrugging. I stood up and made a few steps toward Eric who had an amused look on his face and patted his lap with one hand.

Little did they know we were more comfortable with each other than we let on people to see. Not that I usually sit on his lap but still that wasn't anything. I sat carefully throwing one hand over his shoulders. His hand went behind my back slightly pulling me closer to his body. It was strange being so close to him, feeling his warm body next to mine. One of his hands was on my hip the other that usually held the beer bottle was now on my bare leg. My stomach was fluttering like crazy and once again I stopped breathing when our eyes locked and I could see his silver eyes so close. I cursed myself that I was wearing a dress, the feeling of his warm and big hand on my thigh wasn't making the situation any better.

We both broke the eye contact turning toward Christina. "It's that your sense of a dare?" asked Eric making me snort next to him. Of course, this was not a dare for either of us.

"Yep" Smiled Christina happy of her accomplishment. "It's your turn now Val" she reminded me.

"Will, Condor or Dauntless?"

"Dauntless"

I smiled at him "Go around Compound searching for your pet rock named Steve and ask people if they have seen him. " I saw his eye widened but without a second thought he stood up and went out the door with a couple of people, including me behind him.

He started to walk toward the Pit, casually asking people if they have seen his pet rock somewhere. He was mumbling how he was answering to the name Steve and if they find it to contact him. Will was yelling Steve's name throw the whole compound making us laugh behind him. People were staring like he was crazy, some played along telling him that they'll search for him. He performed his dare so well that someone had to give him an Oscar.

When we had enough all went back to my apartment sitting once again around the table and me on Eric's lap than now felt like the most normal thing I could do. Eric's hand quickly went around my body and I swear I could feel his fingers burning the spot where he held me.

"Triss I dare you to go to Max's office with Four and declare that you want to marry each other. Then halfway through the ceremony, I want you to run away saying that you can't do it" someone dared and I started to laugh. That was the most well-played dare I had heard whole night. Tris looked terrified but stood up with Four and they went out the door with Chris and Will trailing behind them, for witnesses.

"Am I heavy?" I asked quietly Eric who glanced at me with a strange look. "Is that a trick question?" I laughed slightly. "Yeah, because whatever you say it'll end badly."

"I knew it!" he smirked sipping from his beer and putting the bottle once again on the table. His hand ended up on my leg once again his thumb started to draw random patterns on my skin. I turned my head slowly to him but he was watching something mindlessly in front of him. He looked like he was doing it unknowingly or more like he was pretending that he didn't notice.

"What?" he asked when he saw me looking at him. I only shrugged turning the other way around sipping from my bottle. Tris and Four came shortly after with laughing Chris and Will behind them.

"That was the best dare ever. And Tris played it so well" said Christina between laughter, barely trying to take a breath.

"Eric, your up" someone reminded him. He shifted a little bit on the armchair making me move closer to his body as his eyes were on Zeke.

"Zeke, Condor or Dauntless?" Zeke looked a little bit insecure and with a right. Eric could think of the nastiest questions to ask you or the craziest dares to give you. So whatever he chooses, it was not even close to better.

"Dauntless," he said.

"Go to the kitchen and steal a whole chocolate cake and bring it here." Erick had a dark smile on his face like he was daring him to jump off a building. Zeke looked unsure but then stood up from his seat. "If I get in trouble you better pull up that leader rank" he warned him.

"No problem, you just bring that cake" Zeke went out of the door. A few minutes later he had a full platter of Dauntless cake in his hands dropping it on the table, victoriously. People cheered and soon after everyone had a piece of the cake, including me, which was strange but I was in the mood for some sweets. It was kind of awkward sitting on Eric's lab eating a cake but he didn't look fazed. He just kept drinking and observing the game.

"You wants some cake?" I whispered at him close to his ear. He turned slightly toward me, his face so close to mine. "Are you offering?" he asked me quietly his eyes darkened as they shifted from mine to my lips and back.

The fork in my hand lifted up with a small piece of cake on it near his lips. Without breaking the tense eye contact he took the fork in his mouth. I had to hold my breath for this so I would take in the sight before me. Everything in me seemed to stand still. My mouth went dry just by looking at him eating a cake and leaking the chocolate off his lips. A smirk emerged from his lips, which made me swallow hard and look down on my cake because I couldn't handle his stare.

"I bet you rethink your choice of asking me" he whispered and I could feel his breath on my neck making me shiver. His hand was gripping my body so strongly pulling me more close to him and all I could do was just melt into his touch and voice and stop caring about the other people here.

"Eric" someone tried to get his attention. His head slowly turned toward Christina he was slightly irritated probably because she interrupted his little tease on me. But I felt like I could finally breathe again. I didn't know what he was going to do but it sure felt like I was going to melt in his arms.

"Condor or Dauntless?" asked Christina with a little tingle in her eyes. She probably saw the small encounter with Eric and now was ready to prove her point that we have something. I briefly wondered why was she the one to always ask either me or Eric, most people here either didn't dare ask Eric or they got someone better to tease. But not Christina she was always ready to ask or dare me something. In this case was Eric but I could still see right through her.

"Dauntless," Eric said with confidence. He wasn't stupid he wouldn't risk people knowing more than he wanted and if he did risk there was a chance of that shirt coming off and I wasn't sure how I was going to handle that. My mind was still on the feeling of Eric's lips close to my neck.

"Kiss Val" I heard her say which instantly made me turn my head toward her. Oh…she was good I give her that. But I wasn't going to show in front of her or everyone that this was indeed a dare for me. As if she sensed that this was going to be an easy thing for me even though the dare was for Eric, she continued.

"No peck, I want a long kiss with a tongue" I narrowed my eyes at her. I heard Eric snort beside me. Maybe if he wasn't teasing me earlier that would be easy, but now I wasn't so sure when my eyes once again locked on his.

"Come on, I know you want it" he taunted me, taking the plate with the cake out of my hands and placing it on the table.

"I've always wondered what it feels like to kiss someone with a ring on their lips, now I'll know" I joked seeing him smirk. I liked how we both were so open about it not making a big deal out of it. Most people would be embraced to even think about doing it or feel awkward. I wasn't sure if it was because I was kissing Eric or if I was just so used to not getting surprised by dares.

I felt his warm hand sliding on my neck, moving up entwining in my hair. He was careful and gentle you couldn't even think that those hands could kill you so easily. His eyes were on mine, making me get lost into those silver orbs, making me forget that we were in a room filled with people who would witness this. He pulled me closed to him slightly moving toward me and I leaning to him. I held my breath when our lips met, feeling his soft lips on mine and the cold ring on the side. Having the ring there was strange but at the same time, I liked it.

The feeling of it made my heart still for a moment savouring the moment as he opened his mouth sliding his tong into mine. My hands gripped his shirt as our tongues started to play with each other, testing the cake he ate combined with the taste of beer. It was very hard for me to compress the moan that was threatening to escape me and the instinct to pull him closer and continue to kiss him.

When he broke the kiss, the cocky smirk was on his lips as he pulled his hand out of my hair. And just like that, the spell was broken. This kiss would not be talked or brought up anymore. There was some good think about that – I wasn't ready to talk about what the hell happened and what I felt during that kiss. I wasn't ready to let go just yet of Eli and the guilt that crept in me that I somehow cheated on him. I wasn't known for expressing my feeling, neither was Eric and if by any chance he felt the same, he wouldn't speak about it. He would pretend like nothing happened and let thighs happen on their own.

"So how was the ring?" asked Eric, pulling me out of my thoughts. "Strange" that made Eric chuckle as he looked at Christina.

I was a little bit stunned but quickly looked at Christina lifting my brow at her, like that was the easiest thing she could dare me with. She looked happy of her dare, but I knew she was doubting that she made the right choice by doing it. Neither I nor Eric looked even a little bit fazed by it.

 _ **Eric**_

The game continued in full motion even though my mind was miles away. The hours were slipping by, people were drinking more, making up some stupid dares and more clothes were being stripped due to the stupid dares. And they being Dauntless didn't want to choose the truth.

I shifted on my spot a little bit moving Val with me. Her head was on my shoulder for the past few minutes and I didn't mind it one bit. I had to admit that I liked her being so close even though it was just for a dare.

Not long enough I could see her grip on the bottle loosen up as her body started to relax. I smiled a little bit more to myself than to her as I pulled the bottle out of her hand. It was late, I wasn't even surprised that she would fall asleep.

A warm feeling crept in me that she was falling asleep on my lap even though it was in a kind strange angle. But I let her be, most of her friends were too drunk right now to even see that she was out of it and I didn't mind one bit holding her while she slept. I sigh quietly as the memory of the kiss crept once again into my mind. Damn than Condor girl knew so well how to dare me. The fact that we started recently to spend more time together didn't make it any easy when I had to kiss her. I wouldn't say that there was something between us other than a strange form of friendship but sometimes it was hard to miss the occasional flirts and jokes. But that kiss though. I shook my head trying to shoo the feeling and the memory.

"Guess our hostess is out" spoke Zeke throwing a quick look at Val, who was snuggled like a small child on my lap her hand around my body. I pretended not to notice the fact that she was asleep and looked at her questionably but she only snuggled more making my heart speed up even more. "Guess it's our cue to leave" Zeke stood up poking a few people to stand up. The group of drunk and half awake people started to rock back and forward toward the door. The only one that was left behind were Four and Tris who looked at Val in my arms with sympathy and what seemed as protectiveness, as I stood up with her making a few steps toward the staircase.

"Here let me, you can go" quickly stepped in Four probably scolded by Tris who looked like she was going to kill me if I even dare make another step with Val in my arms. My hands went tighter around her small body as I looked at Four coldly.

"I'm good, now move" I ordered just above a whisper hoping that, that won't wake her up. Four looked unsure at me and then back at her before he stepped away, making me smirk as I climbed the stairs to her bed.

I carefully placed her on her bed, fighting the urge to slide down beside her and hold her more. Feeling her soft bed she moved making herself comfortable. My hands moved to her feet starting to get her shoes off when I heard her murmur something in he sleep. When I lifted my eyes at her, her shoes on the floor her eyes were barely open.

"Go to sleep," I said to her quietly, surprising myself with the amount of gentleness I approached her. Her hands clenched her black dress as she started to lift it up, making my eyes go wide.

"Help me get it off" she murmured her voice filled with sleep. Taking a deep breath a came close to her and caught the soft fabric of her dress in my hands. She was so unaware of what she was making me do and how hard for me It was to hold myself not to do something stupid, while I was lifting her dress up revealing her smooth skin. Her flat and almost ripped stomach, her round boobs which were held so tightly by her black lace bra.

"Damn it Valeria" I cursed under my breath and my hands were just itching to touch her. She lifted herself up so I could get her dress off of her, once her head hit the pillow and her red hair spread on the side, I knew she was out. She wasn't drunk she was just tired, but that didn't make it okay for me to sit in front of her half-naked body and stare.

Swallowing the lump in my throat and the want to cover her body with mine and kiss her everywhere, while she wasn't suppressing any moans as she did when I kissed her. I lifted up her sheet starting to cover her body when something caught my eyes. On the right side of her body, from her waist bone going up through her waist reaching her breast was a tattoo. Entwining like vines up her body, with a few plumps or opened up roses here and there. A small vine was separated from the other going just below her right breast, barely hidden from her bra.

I smiled because I was right when I thought she had another tattoo and this time I didn't stop myself and my fingers trailed the pretty vines up her body. It didn't feel strange or out of place at all. The only thing that was strange was that it felt right.

A frown formed on my face when I felt something on her skin. It was covered by her tattoo starting from where her tattoo started and continued up. It was a scar a very long and probably deep too. She had been through a lot, scars like this were bound to be there on her skin. But more questions about her started to pop with this new discovery.

Even if I knew a lot of things about her, from her fears, she was still in some ways mystery. Loosing the book to her, not able to read it was slowly driving me crazy of the fact that I might have missed something about her. I knew I had to trust her in order for her to do the same and tell me this kind of stuff. But I also knew that it was too early for this and I wasn't going to push her into telling me where she got her scar or her story with her previous mentor. I knew she would eventually tell me herself.

I covered her body with the sheet and when I made sure she was okay I started to go down the stairs. Four and Tris were still there as if to make sure that I wasn't going to do something to her. I could see they had cleaned up the living area from the bottles and empty plates. My eyes shifted to the pile of unpacked boxes that were up against the wall. Making me wonder why she didn't unpack them or what was in them.

"She's asleep" I only said to the couple that was examining me up close. I walked outside Val's apartment and into mine. Too tired to think about anything, but once I hit the pillow the memories and the feeling of that stupid kiss came once again, hunting me.

* * *

 _ **There's nothing sexier than feeding someone Dauntless cake xD**_


	17. Amity

I was sitting in my office at my desk doing some paperwork. It was strange to have my own office but I quickly got used to it as I had to spend most of the time here anyway.

I started to get the hang of the things in here- doing paperwork and using the programs on the computer. Who would have thought that the faction of fighters sit so much on their desks and fill reports? It was somehow increased to meValeria'sbut at the same time, I could see how big of importance this was.

Max, as well as the other leaders, were very pleased with my progress and I could see the smugness in Eric every time they praised me. Everyone knew he was the one behind my quick progress and he didn't miss a chance to throw it at someone face like a proud parent.

I heard my door open as I looked up to Eric himself with a big pile of papers. My eyes widened as he dropped them on my desk.

"You have to be kidding me?!"

"Do I look like I'm joking?" he asked seriously and I immediately understood that he wasn't in a mood too. "Max dropped them on my desk"

"So you decided to just give them to me?"

"No, I have the half of the pile and I'm giving you the other half. So don't think I'm not doing anything for you" fast snapped back at me and started to go toward the door. For sure something was off making him act like this.

"What got you so riled up?" I asked suddenly making him stop in front of the door.

"We are going to Amity soon" he mumbled half turning his head toward me.

I let out a small laugh "That got you so riled up- a trip to Amity?"

"You don't know what it's like there. It's like hell for Dauntless"

I couldn't keep the feeling he was a little bit exaggerated. "Oh come on it probably it's not that bad" The minute I said that I regretted it. Eric threw me the most fierce look that made me immediately shut my mouth. Who was I to question him? From the books, he gave me I knew that they were all peaceful and happily singing their songs. I could see how something like this could be the worst thing ever to a Dauntless.

"Okay, I get it don't kill me with that look" I pointed at him. "When are we going anyways and why?"

He shrugged "Johanna wants a meeting with us about the factionless problem and I'll tell you the day before. Now get to work, that needs to be done by the end of the day, though Max doesn't know I gave the half to you" he ordered opening the door.

"Then why did you do it?" a small mischievous smile played on my face as I saw him going against his superior.

"Because I know you can handle it" he smirked instantly making my stomach flutter. I quickly looked at the pile in front of me as I was examining it but the truth was I was hiding from his eyes.

"Don't worry I'll be done with them quickly" I reassured him grabbing the first folder and opening it. I didn't look up at him again, but I heard him close the door behind him.

The big pile of papers dropped with a thug on Eric's desk as he lifted up his gaze, looking at me questionably. He was slushed over a what seemed to be his last folder as he was writing something, his pen moving quickly over the surface. But the minute I dropped the folders on his desk, he stopped.

"I assume they are no mistakes as my ass will be on the line here" he looked at the big pile as if it was going to give him all the answers.

"You said that I can handle them and I did. Besides, I don't want your ass kicked by Max even when that would be a nice view" I said smugly watching him force a smile on his face which looked more like a pout.

"Careful Val" he warned me but I could hear the hint of playfulness in there.

"I did work what wasn't mine and I didn't even get a thank you?"

"Take it as a part of your training," he said with a smirk and directed his attention to the folder. He wrote a couple more things then closed it. His attention once again was on me as he looked me questionably.

"What?"

"Do you need anything else or can I go?"

He waved me off with his hands, dismissing me just like that. "Go. If you hurry you might catch a decent meal in the dining area" he said as his eyes quickly moved to the clock on the computer. It was quite late and it wasn't my first time staying so late. Usually, on days like this, there was barely anything left to eat so I just make something home.

"Nah, I know there is nothing I'll just cook up something home," I said and I started to go toward the door. "See you tomorrow," I said just before I left. Eric didn't reply. He wasn't big on formalities, only when he had to.

My way toward my apartment was quiet. The thought that I society seen my friends since the party crossed my mind but that was just a few daysDivergentand I didn't think they would make it a big deal out of it. After all, I was trying my best to show that I was worth being a leader and if that meant spending extra hours on my desk, so be it! The weekends were for relaxation and friends when I have more time for letting go and not thinking about leadership training.

My apartment felt once again empty as I stepped into it. It was worst in the night. When it was that late and it was so quiet here. During the day it was more filled with life. The sun made it very spacious and even though it was still empty it looked more lively. Not like now. Now it looked like a box. With a sigh, I made my way to the kitchen and I started cooking. Opening a bottle of wine to keep me going as I prepared some chicken and mashed potatoes. I was always making more food than I could eat and for the most parts, I was glad I did. I wasn't used to cooking just for myself and the leftovers served well when I didn't want to cook.

A soft music was echoing through the apartment as I was preparing my meal. In moments like this, I felt peace and relaxed. Singing to songs by artists that now were long gone, with a glass of wine in my hand and dancing around the stove. No one ever saw me like this and even if they did they might think I was crazy and in the wrong faction.

There was a knock on my door that was barely heard from the music but me with my super hearing, I heard it just fine. Leaving the stove and quickly made my way toward the door. It was late and most of my friends weren't even think of bothering me at this hour as they probably think I was tired.

When I opened the door I stopped dead on my feet.

Eric was leaning on the door frame with his one hand behind his back. The same way I was standing a week back in front of his apartment and even more frequently when I felt way to alone at my apartment.

"As I expected it smells very nice" he spoke. I narrowed my eyes at him. "Let me guess, you came here for the food?"

He let out a small laugh and juggle the six-pack of beers in front of me ready to offer them in return for the cooked meal. For that short time, the beers became the bribing method for both of us.

"As you said there wasn't anything down at the dining area and I'm just too tired to cook myself" he made a few steps toward me, pouting a little bit while he was watching me with pleading eyes. He was making a fool of himself but he didn't even care as I started to laugh.

"Are you trying to bribe me, Eric?" I crossed my arms on my chest watching him with amusement. He shook the beers once again in front of me making me smile even more.

"I'm sorry, but today the beers won't do. I'm on wine" I said smugly watching the confident smile on his face slip. He knew that now he didn't have anything to offer. His eyes narrowed at me as I could see the wheels in his mind turning.

"Wait," he said and started to walk toward his apartment.

"I can't I need to watch the chicken!" I shouted at him.

"Then leave the door open!" He shouted but he was already in his apartment. I huffed and hurried toward the stove quickly removing the chicken before it burned. I was making the mashed potatoes when I heard Eric coming in, closing the door behind him and making his way toward the kitchen.

"Now how about this?" he asked pushing a bottle of wine in front of my eyes.

"You're that hungry huh?" I joked as I could see his eyes shifting at the meal. That was why I was thankful of cooking that much amount of food because it was not the first time he came here for food.

"Yep," he said popping the 'p' and placed the bottle on the counter. He started to move very confidently in my kitchen opening cabinets for glass for himself. It wasn't his first time here and he was very familiar with where things were here.

"You know you owe me a cooked meal" I pointed at him with the spoon I was smashing the potatoes as he looked like I just offended him.

"I brought wine!" he said pointing at the unopened bottle.

"Yeah, that isn't going to cut it." He moved behind me slightly brushing off his chest against my back, not that the kitchen was small.

"Okay, you can have your dinner" his voice was near my ear making my body instantly react to him being so close. A shiver ran through me and without noticing I stopped smashing the potatoes. He was so close and he very well knew what he was doing to me. He was testing me making me react like that. I didn't have to turn toward him to see his smug smile on his face. He just loved seeing how I reacted.

He stood behind me a little bit more, his body pressed to mine like there wasn't any space in the kitchen left. All I could do was tighten my grip on the spoon and pretend like my legs weren't going to give up on me. The memory of the kiss quickly invaded my mind as it made it even worst.

He pulled out breaking the spell as he poured himself a glass of wine smirking at me. Why I felt like a school girl near him, was beyond me?

"I see the boxes are still lined up on the wall" he pointed out with his glass toward the pile of boxes at the end of the room. I didn't want to talk about it as I still felt unprepared to even think about the content.

"And that's where they will stay, for now." I said under my breath a little bit annoyed, smashing the potatoes harder.

"Don't you want to have something familiar in your apartment?" he asked watching me carefully.

"No" he didn't push it and I was sure he understood why the boxes were still unopened. It seemed that it was no use for me to speak out loud sometimes, he understood me just fine.

"And the book?" he asked suddenly making me shot my head toward him.

"What about it?" I asked a little bit annoyed.

He shrugged looking around the apartment like he was searching for it. I was still a little bit pissed that he had it and unsure if he ever read it. "I don't know, you want to talk about it?"

That caught me off guard. I shrugged getting my attention toward the bowl in front of me instead of him.

"There is nothing to talk about," I said coldly and I took a sip from my wine. "Did you read it?" I threw him a quick look. In times like this, he looked so peaceful and normal. I could basically ask him anything and he would answer it. In any other time, he would lash out at me probably yelling and threatening me with death if I didn't stop snooping. But now when we were alone in close doors he looked like he was ready to spill everything and who was I not to take advantage of that.

"No"

"Why not, it was in your hands. I mean, isn't it what you wanted to know about me?" I dared him. He pressed his lips.

"I think you can tell me yourself, when you want to" I didn't expect that answer from him. After all, it was a barely a week since we visited Erudite and we got into that fight about trust. A lot had happened since but I didn't expect from him to wait for me to be ready to tell him something like this. I only nodded and I turned toward the food starting to put it into plates.

"You want me to play a movie?" he asked, changing the subject and immediately the tension in the room disappeared.

"Sure"

He was already on the couch searching for something to watch as I placed the plate on the coffee table and made myself comfortable next to him with my own plate and glass of wine. The opened bottle of wine was on the table too, soon to be gone as Eric's bottle was expected to follow soon after. I started to eat throwing quick glances at Eric as he was looking at the movies. It looked so mundane sitting with him like that- eating dinner and watching a movie together. I could definitely see the difference in his personality when he was around other people and when he was here not knowing that I watch him closely.

It was strange how my life turned upside down. Never did I expected to be sitting with someone else than Eliot like this but life was cruel and here I was sitting on the couch with another boy in different time, doing the same things I once was doing with Eliot. My eyes shifted on the boxes where the unseen present was still there. A small pang formed in my heart as I once again felt guilty.

I couldn't say that things with Eric were going somewhere. We both had to yet learn more things about each other. There were definitely some flirting and casual jokes that might seem otherwise. And that kiss a few days back that sometimes pop up in my head making me want to do it again, just to feel his lips again and the ring on the side.

I wasn't sure if it was Eric I wanted to kiss or it was just the fact that I was missing Eliot but I knew I couldn't act on those stupid emotions. I knew Eliot wasn't here and he won't come back. But I just couldn't move on, not yet even if I wanted to. The jokes and the casual flirts I have were nothing and they never were when my mind was somewhere else.

I didn't notice when Eric turned his head toward me pulling me out of my thoughts, smirking slightly as he coughed me staring.

In some ways, there were some similarities between Eliot and Eric and in the same time, they were so different like night and day. Eric was blond with those silver eyes but inside he was dark, even though sometimes he could show light the darkness was still lingering. Eliot was with dark hair, dark eyes but he was so much lighter than Eric, even when life pushed darkness he was always light.

"Do I have something on my face, why are you watching me like that?" he asked smirking at me. His hands were now holding the plate as the movie was already playing.

"Nah, just the stupid face" I brushed it off like a boss getting my attention toward the movie. I heard him chuckle as he shook his head and started to watch, eating from his plate.

* * *

 _ **Eric**_

The rhythm of the music was fast matching the paste of the moving roofless jeep as we were speeding through the empty fields. The sun was burning brightly above us, reminding me that we left way too late for Amity.

Valeria didn't seem too fazed by this fact as she was in a much better mood than the trip to Erudite. I couldn't understand her how she liked the idea of Amity. I could only guess that it was her Amity part showing.

I leaned on the door watching her as she drove us through the bumpy roads. With her tattooed hand on the wheel while her other one was leaning on the door.

The wind was blowing straight in her face as her hair was flying behind her. The sun only made it look redder than it was, like a fire which was spreading on her head.

Her eyes were hidden behind dark sunglasses protecting her green eyes form the stubborn sun rays. Beside her black clothing, she looked like she could fit in Amity the only thing that might stop her was her attitude. I wouldn't even be surprised if she couldn't last a week there before they get her high with their serum. I tried not to laugh imagining her high on peace serum, she would be so lovable and happy. The total opposite of what she could be and when I think about it she would be even more annoying than she normally was.

The rhythm increased as it felt like it was the end of the song. Valeria's fingers started to drum on the wheel. Her lips were moving singing the same words the singer did. She didn't even once miss a word or say something else even though the words became faster.

I wasn't sure how she managed to connect her phone to the car's radio but she did it, once again proving how familiar and good she was with technology.

"What kind of music is this anyway?" I asked pulling her out of her trance. Dauntless was known for his rock and metal music. The song that was on the radio it most definitely wasn't that.

"Very old one" she answered like I was stupid for not knowing it.

"No shit!" I turned my attention to the fields on my right side when a new song started to play.

The volume suddenly increased which made me shot my head instantly toward Valeria.

Her hand anyway to the radio buttons. Seeing my pissed off face her brows were wrinkled

"What, I like this song?" She said like I just scolded her. I pinched the bridge on my nose regretting the fact that I let her play music.

"Play something else!" I yelled over the music. She continued to sing and tap her hand. I wasn't sure if she didn't hear me or she ignored me.

My hand reached for the radio when a quick hand slapped mine instantly making me back off. I couldn't believe she actually did this.

"Don't touch!" there was a warning in her voice that made me proud and angry at the same time.

"What the fuck, Val?!" I yelled.

"I drive - my music"

A smiled crept on my face "Oh, so that's how it is?" I didn't say more she quickly understood her mistake as her smile faded from her face.

"You'll not let me drive after this, are you?"

I only smiled at her. She cursed under her breath and I felt better knowing that next time I would make her pay.

Her hand one more time went on the radio. Thinking that she might have learned her lesson and turn it down, but I was wrong- she turned it up.  
The quick rhythm and bass, that was making everything vibrate in the jeep, echoed through the empty fields as she started to sing louder, drumming her hands on the wheel. By this point, I might have thought that we would crash somewhere even when there was nothing around us.

"Might as well get the best out of it" she yelled and started to sing higher.

I couldn't keep the smile off my face as I watched her rebel against me. She looked so free and happy showing her Amity side. Her hair was whipping behind her as she shaking her head. I didn't even understand when her mask had slip that seemed to happen often as well as mine. It started to get even harder and harder for me to keep it up when I was with her. She quickly got to the spot where my friends were, someone to talk openly and someone who understands when to joke with you and when not to. Although my friends always get their noses where they didn't belong pissing me off in the process, aside from Valeria who would quickly pick up my mood and according to that joke or just stay quiet. And when I think about it Valeria here was the better choice than my friends which was laughable.

When the song ended moving to more slower one, she turned down the volume.

"What's outside the wall?" she suddenly asked not looking at me but her face was toward the road.

"Amity fields."

"Are they allowed to go outside, I thought no one was allowed?" she threw me a quick look before her eyes once again turned to look at the road ahead.

"There is a border after the fields that no one is allowed to go after it. If someone does leave we're in charged to erase their memories" her head suddenly shot at me

"Are you serious?!" she didn't believe it but it was necessary.

"When you become a leader you might someday need to go and erase the memories of an adventurous guard. Which now when I think about it, we might go there, just so you can see it but after Amity", she still didn't look happy about the fact that someone loses his memories just because he left the border but that how things worked here.

"I don't understand, why would you erase his memories. What if he saw something that it's important"

"Exactly what if he saw something?"

Her eyebrows wrinkled.

"That doesn't make sense. Why is the wall build up anyway?" she asked a question that every person here knows from very young age.

"To protect us"

"From what?"

"Well, after the war our founders build so we would be safer inside from what's outside" I struggled to answer her. Sometimes with her Erudite curiosity, she was killing me. Somehow she always asked questions that were so logical but at the same time so hard for me to answer simply because I never asked them myself.

"You didn't answer my question, Eric. Protecting from what?" she was getting frustrated and I was too. No one here dared ask this kind of questions. We only knew the basic - outside the wall was dangerous and that was it. But now she was asking the most right and logical question that made me think about the fact how little did we know about the outside.

"The outside, no one actually knows and no one even dares ask this kind of questions"

"Well, how would you know when you erase the memories of the few that dare to actually leave?" I was loosing the fight and I knew it. It was more and more hard for me to answer her.

"Val, I swear sometimes you and your Erudite mind. We are safer in our closed society. Everyone born and raised here is taught that and they never question it. Whatever it's out there that made them build the wall, it's probably bad. And people like you that are Divergent question everything!" I couldn't stop myself before I said the last part and I understood my mistake. She had rough time trusting me and with this phrase, I probably lost every chance.

"So I'm a threat now?" she raised her voice.

"You're always a threat to the society."

"But I'm not going to raise a riot and bring everyone outside the wall." She yelled clearly getting more frustrated. "I know how important for the society and the people in it, is that they need to stick with what they know. I'm not going to try to break that because I don't want chaos and that's what is going to happen if someone like me starts to blab. I never told any of the people here what I know about the outside world."

"I know that you're not stupid. You have more information than any other person here and I know you can just as easily use it." I gazed at her just when she nodded her head in agreement. Maybe that was why she didn't go to Erudite. Maybe the fact that they were going to abuse her information stopped her.

Maybe she saw something wrong with Jeanine after all and that was why she didn't join them. If that was what it was then she might be smarter than I give her credit for. I know just by observing her that she always calculates things. Her eyes always wander around, her mind always moping it. It would be no surprise really if she saw right through Jeanine.

I know that she could have gone anywhere but she chose Dauntless and I couldn't say that it didn't suit her. Even though sometimes she showed her other sides that belonged to different factions I could see that the Dauntless one was much stronger than the rest.

"That wall wasn't here when I went into the capsule." she murmured. "Are you not curious to know what is beyond?" she suddenly asked a question that I had never thought about. I looked where the wall should be, but it was hidden behind the tall trees. I never thought about that either and I just shrugged.

"Well, I'm going to tell you and just you. There're more cities like this one, there are even more cities than this one, they're mountains and seas, oceans... more land" she talked and just from her voice I could pick up how adventurous she was and a little bit nostalgic.

"We study about those but I don't think that there is something out there. Not after the war"

"Maybe. But I don't believe that we're the only ones"

"It's a wild guess" I murmured.

"So if it's dangerous outside how does Amity protect themselves when they farm?" I narrowed my eyes at her. She wasn't stupid she could figure it out all by herself and she did, immediately seeing the understanding on her face as her eyebrows rose showing above her big sunglasses.

"Yeah, we...okay," she said a little bit awkwardly. "I'm sure that my capsule wasn't put inside the wall, so how is this possible?"

"Maybe Erudite went on a little expedition." I shrugged because it was nothing new. They loved researching things outside the wall and low-level Dauntless members go to protect them. They never bother the leaders. She only nodded and we continue to drive there. I was surprised myself that I answered her every question she had but there was something in her curiosity and probably my Erudite roots that pushed me to give her more information just so I could see how she take it all greedily.

 _ **Val  
**_  
Shortly after we arrived at Amity and I could clearly see the drastic change from Dauntless to here. Here everything looked filled with happiness and sunshine, I wouldn't be surprised if there were rainbows too. Dauntless was cold and dark, not that people there weren't happy, just not happy as here. Amity was sunny and warm, way too warm.

Kids were running all around us as we walked toward a big barn, totally oblivious of the two black figures among a sea of bright colors.  
A smile went on my face when I saw the kids playing, running, laughing and singing. The view reminded me so much of my childhood that was making me sad.

"Act Dauntless" I heard his warning voice close to my ear, slightly making me shiver.

"But I'm Dauntless" I argued.

"No, you look like you are ready to run with the kids" I held a laugh that was daring to escape but I tied to hid the fact that I liked it here with my serious face.

"Sorry, it just brings back memories" he only nodded and continue walking. I could see how unhappy he looked. The look on his face even tough behind a mask, was murderous. He walked confidently not looking around like I was.

I could see what he didn't like about Amity. The bright colors and the fact that there was no conflict here at all. If I had to stay here I would probably go crazy and on a murdering spree. I could never see myself getting dressed in orange and yellow, which were the basic colors here. But at the same time, there was something so peaceful about this.

Johanna was waiting for us at the entrance of the big barn with a warm smile on her face. Everyone here was smiling, I was good at pretending but I wasn't able to pretend for that long that everything in the world was sunshine and rainbows.

"Welcome to Amity" she spoke softly and her eyes landed on me. "You must me Valeria, we know your story we tell it to the kids here too, not just Erudite kids now it" as she said that she threw a quick look at Eric who was standing next to me.

"Delightful" I murmured under my breath not even hiding the fact that everyone here knew about my doomed love with Eliot. If Johanna heard me she didn't say anything.

"Eric" she nodded at him forcing a smile, he too nodded at her but said nothing. I wish I could see from her eyes how intimidating he was. Probably for someone like he looked scary. "This way," she said softly and started walking, leading us inside. There were stables on the first floor and my eyes shined as we passed the horses. If this faction wasn't all smiles I would have come here, just for the animals. She led us upstairs to her office and offered us to sit. We sat down and I put the bag that was hanging on my shoulder on the floor.

"As you well know I wanted this meeting so we could discuss some problems, that couldn't wait for the leaders meeting"

"I'm listening," Eric said filled with power and maybe a little bit annoyance.

"As you may know there were a couple of factionless attacks on our trucks which deliver food to the factions" he nodded. I knew vaguely about this. I knew that they were a problem but I didn't know that they were that big of a problem. Being a leader in training I was told things but not all.

"I'm aware of those attacks and if I'm not mistaken to every attack there were Dauntless soldiers that prevented something more happening" Eric sounded so professional that he even surprised me. It was so out of character for him but being a leader it was a must to be professional or you won't get anywhere.

"Yes I'm just concerned about my people" she smiled softly but Eric remained emotionless.

"We're working on the situation with the factionless. As you may know, the rebellion is very familiar with the parts of the city to which we don't have full access to, thence our slow approach. But we reassure you that the threat will be eliminated. All I can give you now is more guards for the cargos" I was watching him with fascination in my eyes. He was definitely a transfer from somewhere. He couldn't just talk like this -every world was well though before it was spoken.

Promising something but at the same time, it wasn't too big of a promise. A smile crept on my face - he was good. He knew what to say to make her relax and she seemed pleased with his answer. She nodded and they continue with the conversation but this time talking about the deliveries.

"Is that all?" I suddenly heard her say making me pull out from my thoughts.

"Actually there is something I want you to do for me if it's not a problem," I said pulling a piece of paper out of my gray bag. The bag itself was so old and it went through a lot with me and it was still holding the valuable things that I needed. It was the only item I dared unpack from the boxes.

Eric's head shot in my direction and his eyes were cold but I ignored him. I needed this even if that cost me a scold from him later.

Johanna's smile became wider as she looked genuinely happy to help me. "Of course, what do you need?"

I offered her the piece of paper and she took it "I need this herb if it's possible for someone to gather them for me" I tried to be polite knowing that if I wasn't she would probably deny me the request. Her eyes lingered on the piece of paper, reading it carefully before she nodded.

"Of course I would get someone on it. Will you join us for lunch until they're gathered"

"Yes of course" I agreed for both of us but I knew that Eric was going to kill me. He looked like the type of guy who would stay in Amity just enough until the meeting was done, not more nor less. And now I was changing his place forcing him to sit with them through lunch.

I knew he was furious but his expression didn't say anything. If I stood silently I could probably hear him screaming internally.

"Good then, this way" she led us once again. We followed calmly but stood in a few steps away. Johanna quickly gave the paper to a blond boy, whos smile shined brightly at me before he went to do his job.

As we walked toward the glass dome I threw a quick look at Eric. His eyes were nailed on the road in front of him. Sensing that I was looking he gazed at me, his silver eyes cold. I felt like I betrayed him.

"What were you thinking with those herbs?" he hissed at me quietly so Johanna won't hear him.

"I need them!" I hissed back, clinging the bag that was hanging on my right shoulder.

"For what could you possibly need them? Now we have to sit through lunch until that guy returns"

"Well I'm sorry but I need them. You know when you have a headache, sore muscles. It's perfect for that" he didn't look convinced so I added "Poison" I added throwing him a warning look.

He scoffed " Try to kill a leader and you'll be killed for disloyalty" he spoke quietly.

"Who said that they will find out it was me? It could anyone. You're not known to be very friendly, you know?" He seemed to think about it before he spoke

"Fuck, I have too many enemies" I laughed slightly attracting Johannas attention, she quickly turned her back at us.

Eric smirked "You know, with the speed you're going it could be said the same for you. Not many people like you when you're my protege."

I smiled shaking my head "Yeah...you're right. We'll probably not die in battle but from our enemies" I heard him snort just when we arrived at the glass dome. It took me everything not to look with my mouth open. There was a huge tree in the middle casting a heavy shade over the tables and people.

"How old is the tree?" I asked before I could stop myself. Eric threw me a warning look telling me that my Erudite was showing.

"It must be thousands of years" answered Johanna leading us through the sea of bright colors.

"If I had to wear every single day so bright colors like these I'll go crazy and murderous" I whispered slightly leaning toward Eric.

"Tell me about it, now you know why I hate them"

"Oh I can see why just fine, believe me, I wouldn't be able to handle it"

We started to walk slowly in the food line, grabbing food. On the right a man could be heard chanting over and over again "Go with peace" and after the fifth time, he said if I wanted to kill him. The people here smiled at him, thanked him or returned the sentence back to him making it even more obnoxious to hear. I groaned slightly catching Eric's attention.

"Let that be a lesson" he murmured with his mentor voice.

"If I wasn't so desperate for the herbs I wouldn't make us stay" I hissed at him and my hand went to grab a piece of bread.

"Don't!" Eric shot beside me. I looked at him with confusion, what did he mean by don't.

"What? I love bread" his hand slowly pulled mine from the bread like it was a bomb that was ready to explode.

"The put the peace serum in it and as much as I want to see you high on bread and I'm afraid that I'll be not able to stand you even more than now."

I almost laughed "Are you serious? They get high on bread" I snorted failing badly to hold the laughter "Well I have heard of shrooms and all kinds of crazy stuff but bread I haven't"

Eric threw me a cold look instantly turning my face serious. "Why do you think they're so happy?" he asked daringly. I looked around, most of the people were eating the bread and they were happy. Probably because they were flying with the clouds.

"This is unbelievable" I murmured and we made our way to an empty table. Just with one look on our plates, it could be seen that we eat more than they do. As I looked through the mostly containing vegetable plate I was sure that I couldn't feel full with just that.

* * *

 _ **It's a little bit cut out but the next chapter will come shortly after this one.**_  
 _ **I want to know what do you guys** **think** **you Eric POV. Sometimes I just can't help myself from not writing from his POV. Sometimes I just want to observe Valeria from a different angle. Just like when they were in the car.  
** **I really like this one since we see a little bit of her Amity side, even though Amity is way too happy** **place** **for her. xD**_  
 _ **Let me know what you think ^^**_


	18. Factionless

After lunch, the boy still didn't show which left us desperate to go home. Eric was talking on the phone with Max asking for permission to show me the border which was beyond the wall.

I knew what his answer would be but it was still needed to ask first.

Eric took more time with the conversation than he should have. Leaving me alone with a bunch of kids. Not that I didn't like kids but they could be annoying at a times, asking questions that you couldn't or didn't want to answer.

And somehow I found myself braiding the hair of a blond girl just because she knew who I was and I couldn't resist here dole eyes when she asked me. We were sitting on the grass below a tree and it looked so normal even for me.

"My name is Mia," she said with her soft voice that made me smile even more.

"That is a very beautiful name," I said as my fingers were moving through her hair.

For someone who sucked at braiding their own hair, I was pretty good with someone else's.

"Were you really under a sleeping spell for all those years?" she asked.

"Yep" I like the way that Eliot wrote the book making it suitable for children. Filling it with whiches, spells and potions, knights and all this kind of shenanigans, making it look like a fairytale.

"You're very curious for an Amity girl" I knew that kids were naturally curious but this one didn't stop asking me questions since she saw me.

"My mom says that too and sometimes she is scolding me for it" That made me see how different the factions were. It made me sad a little as this girl was probably going to Erudite but she still had to act like Amity and hide her curiosity.

If that was my kid I would probably encourage it to ask and know.

I wasn't raised like they were. I was raised to be more than just one thing. My grandmother tried to teach me everything she could so _'I wouldn't be stupid and people to laugh at me'_ as she would say. At the same time, she taught me to be compassionate and help others as you never know when you might need help yourself.

To be brave and to not let people stomp on me. To be happy at the smallest things because they mattered the most. And argue and debate for what was right.

That was the perfect recipe for a perfect person that enters the society. But now all these things made the factions leaving me and the other kids choose just one thing from everything. Learning just one thing. And those who were more than one were a threat to the society. I couldn't understand it but no matter how much a bang my head to understand it that was how the world was now and I couldn't do anything to make it different. I could if I wanted to but I didn't, that would only bring chaos and death.

But the kid in front of me wasn't mine so I wouldn't dare overstep my boundaries telling her what I thought was right, she had parents for that.

"You're done!" I said suddenly. Her hand went to the braid touching it lightly before she jumped and hugged me.

"I love it, thank you!" she yelled in my ear making me laugh.

"You're welcome sweetheart" she quickly ran away showing off her braid to her friends.

"You were very good with her" a soft voice broke my peaceful observation. I looked up seeing Johanna as she too watched the kids.

"Well she's just a kid, I don't see a point of being rude"

"That's right," she said smiling just when a few kids ran toward me screaming.

"I want a braid too!"

"Braid me, me"

"No me!ME!"

My eyes widened. I wasn't ready to braid half the Amity. Johanna laughed beside me just when Eric came stopping on my other side slightly grinning at the view of the kids jumping around me.

"Now, now kids leave Valeria alone" spoke softly Johanna making them instantly stop. They weren't happy for a second but quickly resumed their play.

One boy with sandy blond hair, red shorts, and yellow shirt, was standing in front of Eric tilting his head so up, so he could see, his mouth was open wide. The awe in this kids eyes was priceless. The height difference between them was hilarious as the kid was just above Eric's knees. At first, Eric didn't notice him but when he did, he had to bend down slightly.

A genuine smile appeared on Eric's face. The same smile that I rarely see when we were alone but I had actually never seen it so wide until now. What surprised me that Eric wasn't cold toward the kid.

"You have a fan" I joked, slightly grinning. The kid still had his head tilted and his mouth barely opened as his eyes were wondering on Eric as it was the most fascinating thing he ever saw and it probably was.

"Hey there!" Eric greeted him and the boy's eyes went wider. I heard Johanna laugh a little bit at the small encounter. I could barely hold my laughter too. The picture in front of us was so sweet that it would probably melt every girl's legs just from seeing it. The big bad Dauntless leader Eric had a huge smile on his face as he was talking to a small boy.

"When I grow up I wanna be just like you!" the boy finally said pointing at Eric. Eric laughed softly. "I wanna protect people..a-and fight bad guys…a-and shoot with guns like…" the boy held his one hand in the other one pointing two fingers and making gun sounds with his mouth. I burst laughing couldn't even stop the tears in my eyes. Johanna beside me started to laugh too. Eric was shocked at first but then started to laugh too watching the boy continue to make shooting sounds.

"Well I hope to see you after a couple of years, how about that?" Eric bent down a little bit looking at the kid whose eyes went even wider and I could see the excitement in them. Everyone knew that a couple of years were still not enough for the kid to transfer but who cared if he was ambitious and he stuck with his decision we could see him when he grows up.

The kid nodded happily before Johanna spoke "Come on Ted, go find your mother" The kid turned around and ran for a while before turning toward us and waved. We waved back at him as he continued to run.

"Johanna I have the things" I heard a voice behind me. Finally! I stood up from the grass, dusting my pants when the same boy with the herbs came toward us. He had a big bag in his hands.

"Finally!" I heard Eric murmured next to me his huge smile long gone.

"I had to go all the way to the wall for one of the herbs but I have them all here" he patted the bag and quickly grabbed it from him.

"Thank you," I said and smiled slightly even though I was irritated of how long it took him.

"You have everything?" Eric asked and I nodded. "We'll be going now, thank you for your hospitality"

"The pleasure was mine," Johanna said and I barely held a snort. Everyone knew that Dauntless and Amity didn't go hand in hand and everything here was just fake politeness and very good acting.

We came close to the jeep when Eric spoke again "Give me the keys!" he ordered. I frowned at him. I didn't think he was serious.

"Oh come on, I won't play my music!" I complained but he was unbreakable.

"Give me the keys now, I'll drive. We need to pass the gate"

"Yeah but I can drive too"

"Valeria!" he raised his voice. That made me shiver as I gave him the keys in defeat. I sat down on the passenger's seat as he went in the driver's spot. The ride to the gate was silent I was a little bit angry that I didn't drive.

I was looking at the side of the road my head turned away from Eric as I heard the rock music echoing from the speakers.

"What the…?" I turned at him and he was smirking.

"Now let's see how you like that!" I rolled my eyes.

"I know that song I actually enjoy it very much. I know the lyrics too…do you want me to sing?" I joked seeing his eyes widened.

"Nooo…" I laughed and decided to spare him from my singing for now.

Not long we were already at the wall, the gate just in front of us. There were a couple of Dauntless soldiers with their guns standing in position.

"Eric," one of them said approaching the jeep. The wall was tall and standing here in front of the gate I felt like I was in Game of Thrones, but no one would understand the reference here.

"Mike" Eric nodded. Mike had a messy brown hair, his green eyes were lingering on my face as he spoke and he had a charming smile that made my heart miss a beat. I raised my hand in greeting and he only nodded focusing his attention on Eric.

"What lead you here?"

"You know just dumping this noobie here at the border" he pointed at me and I couldn't believe it, he actually joked in front of someone. I wasn't angry about what he said I was amused by his reply. I narrowed my eyes at him.

"Seriously Eric!"

Mike laughed shaking his head.

"Come on, you can possibly want to get rid of that beautiful girl in your car?" smirked Mike watching me straight in the eyes. I felt my cheeks warming up as I grinned.

"You see, now you can't do it. He'll search for me if I don't show up later" I said winking at him. Eric stood in the middle of this visibly uncomfortable with this conversation.

"For fuck sake, Mike open the god damn gate!" finally yelled Eric. Mike winked last time at me making me grin like a little girl.

"I hope you're alive on the way back"

"Yeah me too" he laughed slowly and step away from the jeep, going to the small station hiding behind a door. Eric threw me a cold look.

"What?" I asked very amused by his expression.

"Can you stop flirting with my friend?"

I grinned at him "Are you jealous?"

He scoffed "I just don't want him near you," he said it like I was going to be a bad influence on him. I laughed as the gate started to lift up. Eric started to drive. Mike waved at me and I slightly had to stand up just to wave him back.

We drove outside where there was a few more Dauntless soldier at the gate very armed.

Beyond that were just fields and the cold breeze. I closed my eyes and took everything in.

It was strange to be outside the wall. Even at this time of the day when the sun was the highest, there were Amity people at the fields, there were parked trucks on the side of the road some filled some were still empty.

"I couldn't imagine working with this sun above. Our caves are perfect."

Eric scoffed "Just wait to see when it starts to snow, then it will be hell"

We didn't drive for long before the fields ended and there was nothing. There were a few signs stating that it was forbidden to go beyond this point. It had very eery feeling as the wind blew at us. Even if I tried to see something there was nothing, only emptiness. It wasn't green, there were no trees…nothing. Just the lone road that continued further away.

"It's strange," I said quietly as if I spoke higher something might come and find us. "Is it strange that I kind of want to see what its there just a little bit further?" my eyes were nailed on the road ahead. My heart and my gut were screaming at me to get out of the car and run, just so I could see what was out there. Probably that made people in the first place take such drastic decisions and go beyond.

"Don't even think about it!" said coldly, Eric.

"Come on, aren't you just a little bit curious?"

He shook his head "Even if I'm I can afford it. Even if I'm a leader they wouldn't even blink when they erase my memory." I gulped at stared at the nothingness. "Are you ready?" he finally spoke. I nodded and he started the engine again turning us toward the wall and the city.

I didn't know how long we were there but if I had to guess it was close to an hour, considering our drive to there and back. On the way back there were still people in the fields and the trucks were still on the side of the road. They were so hard working, they would probably stay here until the sun starts to set.

I looked in front of me. The wall stood tall before us and just behind it, I could see the tall building. I sighed at relaxed on my seat glancing at Eric, his attention was on the road in front of us. His expression was normal and relaxed. His mask was up but it wasn't held tightly as he didn't need to hide anything. Suddenly his brows wrinkled making me look at what he was watching. He started to slow down the car. The gate in front of us was open, as when we came there were guards outside now there were none.

My heart started to race and I straighten up my eyes glancing at everything.

"Something's not right" Eric whispered and I couldn't agree more with him. "Do you see something?" he asked with seriousness in his voice, his eyes were glancing everywhere.

My eyes were rapidly glancing at everything I could "There is nothing and it's so quiet" I whispered. He only nodded. Stopping the jeep just at the entrance of the gate we were both looking in front of us. There was an Amity truck on the other side just by the small station where Mike stood when we came. Now there was no one. No guards, no Amity people.

"The truck is not empty so they are still close. If they weren't they would have taken the food" Eric said his eyes never leaving the sight in front of him.

"I don't like this," he said quietly and started to leave the jeep pulling a gun.

"Wait, I don't have a weapon!" I hissed at him, he looked at me like a committed murder. He probably forgot that he didn't want to give me one.

"Open the glove compartment there is one there," he said quietly. I reached in front of me and opened the small door instantly taking the gun in my hand. I checked how many ammo I had. For my happiness, it was loaded.

Suddenly a bang was heard hitting the front of the jeep.

"Get down!" growled Eric. He didn't need to tell me that the moment I heard the gunshot I instinctively went down. Eric was standing with the half-open door as a shield with a gun in his hands. My heart raced with adrenaline. I haven't been in this kind of situation in a long time. Eric looked at me.

"Factionless"

"Did you see from where the gunshots came?" he shook his head. I for once wished I had a knife instead of a gun in my hand but that what it was. "Drive, the jeep is bulletproof, at least get us at the other end" I whispered at him. He nodded and crouching down he pressed the gas, slowly the jeep approached the other side. When the front was just barely visible the gunshots started again making both of getting down even more. I was now crouching in front of the seat, I was small person amazing even myself that I was able to fit there, I couldn't say the same for Eric, whose big frame was the problem. My eyes landed on my bag that was laying on the back seat. I needed to get it. If someone was injured it could help to have it near.

The gunshots stopped and all fell silent again. Eric looked at me and started to move slowly outside the jeep. For once I hated that it was roofless.

"Stay here!" he said immediately making me angry.

"Excuse me!" I raised my voice above a whisper. He shot me a warning look.

"Stay here until I gave you a signal" I frowned at him but nodded. He went outside and it took me everything not to yell at him to not get shot. I didn't know how I will handle if I saw him injured. There were a few gunshots and groans and I hoped that none of them was Eric. I felt silly for hiding here when he was there but I followed orders like I knew best. Suddenly everything went quiet, maybe a little bit too quiet.

Slow footsteps approached the jeep and were slowly approaching my side. I held my breath, my fingers were on the safety ready to pull it down and shoot. My heart was hammering in my chest, everything was silent only the slowly approaching footsteps were heard. My eyes were on the spot above waiting for the figure. When a head showed up I pulled the safety. The person turned toward me. He wore a black and white shirt on him. Condor – not a Dauntless.

My finger instantly went on the trigger pulling it quickly before the man could raise his gun. The bullet hit him just between the eyes as he fell backward blood spilling behind him. A loud thud was heard a second later. I exhaled, my senses were heightened as I listened closely. There was no noise. I slowly moved up and still crouching down I stretched my arm grabbing the gray bag, which was now filled with herbs. A couple of bottles dinged as I pulled it toward me.

Exhaling slowly I looked in front of the jeep and at the truck. There was no one. I slowly exit the jeep. My bag was hanging like usually on my right shoulder. My hands were holding the gun with a strong grip as my eyes were glancing at everything. It felt slightly good to be once again like this.

There was no sign of Eric anywhere and I didn't know how I feel about it. I approached the Amity truck when someone exited the small station and attacked me with a knife. My first instinct was to back off from the flung knife. His other hand came into contact with my right hand and even though I had a hard grip on the gun it flew out of my hand sliding away. I cursed under my breath ready to fight the man with my bare hands even though he had a knife.

"Come on pretty girl I promise I won't cut your face" he snarled smiling a little bit revealing missing teeth. He once again advanced with the knife I stepped on the side catching his hand quickly. My knee connected with his hand making him drop the knife on the ground. His other hand went in my hair pulling it down. I let out a small scream before my elbow connected with his head. He let go of my hair and made a few steps back. He was barely standing. I didn't know why they were trying to fight Dauntless when they suck at fighting. I gave him a kick sending him to the ground.

Quickly I crouched taking the knife, when I turned around the guy was crawling toward my gun. He thought that I was in disadvantage with the knife. Big mistake. I made the stance and threw the knife hitting the back of the guy's head. His head dropped in the mud as well as his hand which was about to take the gun. I walked confidently toward him and grabbed the gun and pulling the knife out of his skull.

"Sorry big guy" I murmured cleaning the blood from the knife in his clothes.

Just then I heard a grunt from somewhere near me. My head shot toward the noise. It was Mike sitting on the ground, his back leaning on one of the Dauntless cars, he was clenching his right leg. I approached him quickly trying not to make any noise but he heard me and his head shot up toward me. Before I knew it, a gun was pointed at me. I raised my hands quickly, which in both of them I was holding a weapon. He sighed lowering his gun, when he saw it was me and softly laughed when he saw me with the knife in my left hand and the gun in the right one.

"Hey beautiful," he said with a little groan. I crashed next to him and my attention was on his wound. He already had put a cloth above the wound that went around his leg to stop the bleeding but he was still bleeding badly.

"Did you report it, we didn't have time to do it?" he nodded as I started to search for something in my bag.

"We did, they surprised us. But for some reason they didn't take the food"

"At least not yet" I murmured just when I found the small bottle. "Drink" he looked at me skeptically.

"What is this?"

"It will slow the bleeding. Drink" I basically shoved it at him. He smirked and drank it making a face like he ate something sour.

"God, that was awful" I smiled and looked around.

"Did you see Eric?" he shook his head.

"I'm glad he didn't kill you at the border," he said with a little chuckle.

"Oh I was sure you'll come looking for me" I winked at him. He laughed slightly.

"Definitely" In a moment like this, I still had time to flirt. I looked around but it was quiet, way too quiet.

"Okay, I'll go search for Eric you good here?" My eyes stopped on Mike. He was in pain and he couldn't walk if he had to come with me he would only slow me down and get in the way. Of course, he knew that.

"Yeah, go. I have a gun so I'm good" I didn't want to leave him like this but I stood up, clenching the bag and I started to walk toward the woods. I didn't know what pushed me to go in them but I figured since there was nothing much here that would come in handy for hiding the woods were the best choice.

I walked slowly watching every step I made so I wouldn't attract unwanted attention when I heard a struggle. My hand went on the gun holding it tightly ready to use it if needed. I stood behind a tree watching Eric fight with a factioness who was dressed in black pants and grey shirt. The fight seemed to be going well for Eric as he got several good hits on the man. I wasn't sure if he was alone or with more so I stood hidden.

Eric's fist connected with the guy's jaw. The man fell down on his back and Eric was ready to kill him with the gun that he just pulled out. Something behind him caught my attention. It was another man walking slowly toward Eric with a knife. Apparently for our advantage they didn't have guns if they had they probably stole them.

Eric wasn't aware of the man behind him as he killed the fallen man before him. There was no time to shout and without thinking, I raised my gun and aimed. The bullet left the chamber, flying pass Eric's head and straight to the man behind him, who was just about to make a move. A second later the man fell with a thud on the leaves. Eric's head shot immediately at me. His eyes were widened in disbelieve and he turned around seeing the fallen man. Eric looked relieved for a second like he just understood how close he was from dying.

"If I had to wait in the car for you to give me a signal you would have been dead by now" I murmured at him.

"I would have seen him" he looked unhappy now probably because I was hurting his pride.

"Yeah, when he stabbed you!" I snorted "A thank would be nice, I just saved your life"

"No need to flatter yourself" he walked right past me almost hitting my shoulder, going straight for the clearing. I tried my best to keep calm even though I was tempted to put a bullet in his head too. He just couldn't swallow his pride for one minute and thank me. I knew that wasn't him, he wouldn't admit that he let his guard down for a second which might have caused him his life and even more he wouldn't admit the fact that I saved him.

I didn't push him more, he wouldn't change so there was no point of arguing with him an beginning for a stupid thank you.

"Mike is alive but shot in the leg. He's by the cars"

"Good"

"Any others survivors?" I asked walking behind him. He didn't look hurt in any way besides his hands where his knuckles were red and bloody I wasn't even sure if the blood was his or his victims.

"I don't know a few maybe. But they ran away when they saw us coming"

"I could have followed them, they probably are not that far away I could still find them" I started to look around me. Eric stopped in his tracks and turned toward me with a furious expression I had ever seen on him.

"And do what? Get yourself killed?"

"No, I can be stealthy, they wouldn't even know they were followed"

"They know the inside of the city more than you do and if you find them, then what, huh?" he was yelling now.

"Report back! It will be a lot easy, we don't know where their strongholds are. We only know their living areas" I raised my voice at him standing my ground.

"Absolutely not! And don't even think about it!" He warned me pointing his finger at me.

"Why not?"

"Valeria!" he made one step toward me "I'm your superior and as such I order you, to not follow the rebels. I order you to help me search for survivors and report back on what happened" just his voice alone could make you shiver and not the good kind of shiver. His eyes were burning holes in me and he was ready to pull drastic measures if I even thought about disobeying. I raised my head high and looked at him straight in the eyes.

"Yes, sir!" Even though I wanted to follow them and I knew I could do It without no one seeing me but I couldn't disobey him. My training, my mind couldn't allow me even to think of disobeying. He knew it and that was why he used it against me.

"Now follow me" he ordered and started walking. There was a drastic change in his character from earlier in Amity to here. He was joking then and he was more open, now he was the leader that pulled rank on me when I questioned him.

When we made it to the Amity truck a few more Dauntless cars were already there. Max jumped out from the one looking around. His eyes locked on ours.

"Report!" he looked at Eric.

"Amity truck has been attacked by factionless when we came the guards at both sides were gone so were the Amity driving the truck. Mike is wounded near on the back and the rest of the guards were down on the side of the wall, some wounded some dead. They probably followed the factionless which led to ambush. I think they didn't steal the truck with food because even though they surprised our soldiers they were outnumbered and probably didn't have time. They probably took something small but that's it" he shrugged.

I once again was amazed by how professional he was. There was something so powerful in the way he talked, to the way he stood there in front of Max with his straightened back, arms on his back and head held up. There was no doubt that he held authority and look that would make everyone before him, bend. His strong features, half buzzed head, the tattoo on his neck and the piercings on his face and ears only brought more brutalness to his looks. I had to admit that made him so deadly and at the same time so sexy.

"I killed as many as I could, some ran away" he added and looked at me I only shrugged.

"Don't look at me I killed three of them" all eyes were on me now. They were all looking at me like I was going to break any second now, except for Eric.

"You're taking it very calmly considering that you just took three lives" Max was watching me closely.

I shrugged hiding my emotions behind the stone mask "It wasn't my first time" A surprise rose in almost everyone. I didn't like that I was the center of the attention. So what, I had killed before it still bugged me that I ended someone's life but after what I had been through I learned one important lesson. Either me or them and I always choose me.

"I'm going to help Mike" Eric finally broke the silence going straight to where I left Mike.

"Okay…one of you take the truck and bring it to Amity. You to fallow him with the car and go back to compound afterwords" Max started to order. "You…" he pointed at a group Dauntless soldiers "Go find the rest of the guards and help them. I want the number of killed, injured and alive. You…stand guard on the gate I will send more when we go back" His eyes fell on me and I straightened my back, ready to hear his order.

"You did well today, I didn't have single doubt in my mind that you wouldn't do well here in Dauntless and today only proved it. I'm happy to have someone like you into leadership."

"Thank you sir, that means a lot" I smiled softly. Eric and Mike showed up from the corner. Eric was holding Mike with one hand around his back while Mike's hand was around Eric's shoulders.

"Here is my savor," Mike said when he saw me. He was struggling to walk but he still had that flirtatious smile on his face.

"I can hardly say a savor" I snorted.

"Whatever you gave me it helped, I didn't bleed out afterward"

"Now I wouldn't want that wouldn't I?" I winked and he laughed shaking his head. My eyes quickly glanced over Eric who was making strange faces.

"Can the two of you flirt when I'm not around?"

Mike looked at him funny "And what is the fun in that?" I laughed making Eric even angrier.

"Just both of you shut up and lets go" he murmured and started to pull Mike toward our parked jeep. Eric led him toward the back as they passed the body of the man dressed in Condor shirt. Mike was looking at him while they passed.

"Wow, what happened to this guy?"

"Me" I answered happily glancing at the hole in the guy's head.

"Clean shot, good job!" he winked and I could hear Eric groan before he pushed him in the back seat. Mike moaned in pain from the roughness.

"I should have known that you're into headshots," said Eric while he passed me rounding the car to go to the driver's seat.

"It's instant death!" I shrugged sitting in my spot with my bag on my knees.

"Where did you learn to shoot like that?" suddenly asked Mike from the back seat. He seemed to know it wasn't Eric but still, the question caught me off guard. I froze on the spot. Eric looked at me understanding why I suddenly acted that way. He knew who taught me how to shoot. He also knew it was a sore spot.

"Someone" I murmured and pretended to look at something why we started to drive toward the compound. I swear I saw Eric shook his head to Mike as he was about to ask something. They seemed close, I wondered if Mike was the other friend beside Jack and by the looks of it he was.

When we drove home I felt how exhausted I was. After we dropped Mike of the infirmary I and Eric slowly started to walk toward our floor. People were trying to stop us and talk to us, ask questions about the attack but just one look from either of us was enough for them to understand that they wouldn't get an answer.

"I'm so tired" I murmured in the elevator.

"Mhm"

I was close to my apartment but all I could think was how I was going to take a long shower and just go to bed not even bothering to eat. We were silent on the way to our doors. Mine was first and I stopped watching Eric. I could see that he was exhausted too. Just before he could walk past me I coughed his arm. He was surprised at first by the gesture and looked at me questionably. My hand slide down his arm and went in his wrist. I didn't know if he was too tired to react or he didn't even care that I was holding his hand.

I looked up at his knuckles they were still all red and bloody.

"Come, I'll clean the wound" I pulled him toward my door. He shook his head tiredly "No"

"Come on, you denied the nurse but you can let me take care of it. Come" I said softly like I was taming an animal. He let me pull him inside my apartment and sat on the couch. Even though I was tired I mixed a lotion with the herbs that I got and sat in front of him on the floor.

His head was leaned on the couch back and his hands were on his lap. He looked like hell and his eyes were barely standing open, I could see he was ready to pass out any minute.

I was surprised that he let me clean his wounds. He didn't let the nurse back at the infirmary do it, so I thought that I didn't have a chance either. But either he was way too tired to care or he actually preferred me than the nurse, whatever it was I would never know.

His look was empty, his eyes were focused on a spot somewhere behind me.

I slowly took his right hand in mine, ignoring the fact how warm and big it was compared to mine as I held him. He didn't pull it out of my grasp he just stood calmly.

With a wet cloth, I started to clean the dried blood on his knuckles. I could see him flinch or his hands would tighten its grip around mine but none of us said a thing.

After I cleaned his right hand I moved to his left one, repeating the procedure. Once all the blood was cleaned I applied some of the lotion I made into his knuckles, gently massaging the substance into his skin. When I made sure it was more than enough I lifted up my eyes at Eric.

His eyes were closed and his breathing was slow and even. I smiled at the sight of him sleeping, he looked so peaceful.

I stood up not knowing what to do with him. I could let him sleep on the bed in the guest room but that would mean waking him up and I didn't want that.

Before I could stop myself my hands went up to his chest up to his shoulders trying to ignore the fact how hard his body was into my touch. Trying my best to pull down his jacket without waking him was very hard.

I was just leaning above him when his silver eyes lazily opened.

"Hey, help me get the jacket off," I said softly, he nodded and straightened his back instantly making it more easy for me to slide his jacket off of his shoulders.

"Come on" I whispered pushing him with one hand so he could lay on his side. He looked too big for the couch but laid there anyway. His eyes closed the minute his head hit the side.

I removed his combat boots and I was lifting his heavy legs up when he smiled and a low hum was heard from him.

"Just like a few nights ago" he murmured and I frowned at him.

"What do you mean?"

His pierced brow rose as he smiled "The party, who do you think got you in bed? You basically fell asleep on my lap"

I felt like my cheeks were heating up and cursing myself for the stupid girly reaction I shifted my gaze somewhere else. Did he really put me to bed after the party? I was so tired that I didn't even pay attention to whom was pulling the cover on my body.

"Sleep now," I said softly. He nodded closing his eyes. We had a long day, both of us. I didn't even think it would end like this when we prepared to go to Amity.

My eyes shifted on Eric, he didn't look disturbed that he was sleeping on my couch. I covered his body with the blanket I had nearby and allowed myself to stop for a minute and watch him. He looked so vulnerable. I could easily kill him right now and he wouldn't even have the chance to fight back. But I didn't want that, this meant that I was killing the only person here that was close to calling a friend. The only person that would understand when my apartment felt empty and come to have a beer with me, even when we sat in silence.

Allowing himself to fall asleep here and let me clean his hands just showed some kind of trust he had toward me even though he might deny it. Trust that if he let his guard down he wouldn't end up dead.

Still, not full trust but there was something. If that had happened month back he wouldn't even think about it as well as I. And I think I had fallen in this situations more than him. When we usually watch a movie and the day had drained every bit of energy, I would wake up on the couch with the same blanket on or even sometimes in my bed.

I smiled at the thought even though he wouldn't admit it that he trusted me, his little gestures spoke enough. Without even knowing it, my hand went on his head, trailing my fingers in his blond hair. The gel was barely holding his hair back, after all this fighting. It was soft. God knows how many times I just wanted to do this.

I felt strange doing this while he slept totally oblivious of me molesting his hair but what he didn't know couldn't hurt me. It might be my only chance to do this and I didn't feel even a little bit of regret as I watched him cuddled on my couch like a small child.

After I made sure my gesture was unnoticed I went upstairs taking a long shower and before I knew it I was asleep on my soft bed, too tired to even dream about the day.

 _ **Here is the next chapter.**_

 _ **You can't deny the cuteness of Eric with the kid, just come on!**_

 _ **What do you think?**_


	19. The Market

_**I'm sorry for the late upload but I had a very rough week and my mind was just not in a place for writing.**_

 _ **The chapter isn't one of the best but still brings more to the story.  
Again, thank you all for still reading. xD  
**_

* * *

The realization hit me the moment I opened my eyes. For some reason, the alarm thought of betraying me and didn't wake me up when I needed. As I frantically dressed for today I played a different kind of scenarios that might happen to me when I show up late to the meeting. Eric would probably be the one to put the bullet in my head just to teach me a lesson.

I was just walking outside my door when I heard Eric's apartment door open. I stopped dead on my feet ready to embrace the anger that was about to spill on me but instead of Eric it was a girl.

She had her heels in her tattoo sleeved hands as she was sneaking out. Her black hair was all messed up, the makeup was smeared even though it looked like she might have tried her best to make it better but failed miserably, her dress was all wrinkled up as the girl was preparing herself for her walk of shame.  
My eyes widened as I was barely trying not to laugh at the sight.

The girl looked at me, still holding the door open, her eyes filled with shock that she was discovered.

"Hey. I thought no one was living on this floor, beside Eric" she said making a step forward letting the door close.

"Wait!" I yelled making a few quick steps toward her "Hold the door!" I added quickly. I didn't know what came over me. Her hand quickly flew back, stopping the door from slamming as her senses came to her and her brows wrinkled.

"Is Eric still sleeping?" I stepped closer to her and I could see her confusion.

"Y-yeah, why?"

"Well, you had your fun with him now it's my turn," I said very seriously and her eyes widened in disbelieve.

"Excuse me!" she gasped. I was barely holding my laughter. She was so easy it was not even worth it.

Suddenly her face turned serious like she was ready to jump on me _'wow…jealous much?'_ I thought as I raised my hands in surrender.

"I was joking," I said grinning but she still looked pissed.

"And who do you think you are?"

"Damn, where have you been for the past month and something?" I asked surprised. Wanting it or not people here knew who I was but this one here looked like she had been hiding under a rock.

She straightened her back and raised her chin, shaking the hair off of her shoulder. That was such a girly and cheap move that made me want to puke.

"Around"

"Look all I want is to get inside and wake up Eric because we're awful late for a meeting with Max."

"And what makes you think that I'll let you in?" she asked, her head still held up like she was the one here in charge. I could see that she was a little bit jealous, maybe intimidated by me wanting to enter Eric's apartment but as far as I knew this girl was just one-time thing, even if she thought she might be something more.

She was still holding the door which was a sign of hope and I was getting angry at her because she thought she was something more than me when she was the one leaving Eric's apartment.

"Listen to me dark Barbie, you're going to let me in willingly or I'll shove you aside like a rag doll and enter myself. I'm getting late and I seriously don't have time for your _'I slept with Eric, so I'm better than you'_ thing." I stepped a little bit closer to her my eyes never leaving hers. I could see her slowing hard as her eyes were looking at me. "Don't test my patients" I warned her.

Her hand was still holding the door but she made a step back giving me enough space to enter the apartment. _'Wise choice'_ I thought.

"I'm Valeria by the way. Try to remember that" I said with a fake sweet voice as I entered, shutting the door behind me, not letting her speak.

This was my first time stepping foot into Eric's apartment, although he was in mine more than I could count. It was surprisingly clean and very spacious as I looked around but didn't give much thought about it as I went for what I thought was his bedroom.

The blinds on the windows were shut making the room so dark. The moment I went inside I could smell the cologne that Eric usually uses, confirming that I was in the right place. There were clothes spread all over the floor, hinting the fact that he was in a hurry to take them off. Eric himself was lying on his stomach, black covers were around his torso as his back was uncovered. His head was to the side while his one hand was under the pillow, the other one was spread on the empty space beside him.

It felt strange being here and I suddenly felt like an intruder but I had to wake him up if I wanted to go to the meeting without getting my ass kicked.  
I was slowly approaching the side when it hit me that he might be naked. Why wouldn't he be I just saw the girl walking out?

The floor beneath my feet let out a small creek which was enough for his eyes to shot open. Damn his training and quick reflexes. I stopped dead on my feet like a child caught stealing candy.

His eyes landed on me. I could see so many emotions go through them in just seconds. First was fierceness and determination to jump on the intruder, then it was recognition, followed by confusion.

"How the fuck did you enter my apartment?" he groaned his voice filled with sleep.

"The charming girl that was walking out of your apartment let me in," I said sweetly "You know I was wondering yesterday where you went after I saw you at the bar but now I know what you had been _doing_ ," I said with a big grin. He let out another groan and covered his eyes with his hand.

"It's way too early for me to handle you right now"

"It's actually not that early, we may or may not be late for the meeting with Max" the second I said it his eyes shot at me.

"What!?" He turned his whole body toward the clock on the nightstand behind him. "And you're standing there so calmly, why the fuck didn't you say something?" he raised his voice.

"Well we're late either way so why hurry" I shrugged but he didn't see me as he was already sitting on the bed with his back toward me.

"You're killing me sometimes. Do you mind!?" he looked back at me with angry eyes like he was expecting something of me.

"Oh don't worry, it's nothing I haven't seen" I brushed it off. He smirked and stood up with his back still toward me and I was immediately regretting it. His ass was so tight and rounded that you just want to squeeze it.

"Still something you haven't seen?" he asked cockily as he slowly started to turn around. My eyes widened as I register that he was turning around but it was too late he already was standing before me with all of his glory. I wasn't going to run covering my eyes and be ashamed about it.

I locked my eyes on his and it took all of my willpower not to look down.

"You trying to prove something?"

He only smirked, "How long you'll last before you look down?"

"I'll say a while, considering how stubborn I am, but we're still late and we don't have time for the intense eye contest," I said still looking at his eyes. With my side glance, I could see his build body and abs that were going down... and that was making everything harder.

He chuckled "You have some strong willpower" he said and turned around disappearing into what seemed to be his bathroom. "Do me a favor and make coffee while you're here" I heard him say behind the door.

A few minutes later I was leaning on the kitchen counter drinking hot coffee when he appeared from his bedroom all dressed in black, his hair gelled into place. He strode toward me with confidence but confusion appeared on his face when he saw me.

"Why are you grinning like that?" he stopped beside me pouring coffee into his cup.

"I know what your previous faction was," I said very happy that I finally deducted the mystery.

"Is that so?"

"Yep, you know first I thought you were a Dauntless because look at you"

He smirked "Wow a compliment from Valeria never thought I see the day"

"But then, when you talk, your words are very carefully arranged and I thought you were Condor" I continue with my observation totally ignoring him. I took a sip from my coffee my eyes locked on one specific spot "But now when I look at your bookshelf which pretty much takes the whole wall I'm sure you were Erudite" I threw him a quick look with the best grin on my face that I had.

"You're very observant, now let's go" he took a sip from his coffee and placed the cup down.

"You know it's hard for me to picture you in blue," I said dreamingly but he was already out the door and ignoring me like usual.

I quickly took a sip from the coffee and put the cup in the sink catching up to him.

"Oh did you wear glasses?" I asked when I finally caught up to him. He threw me a quick annoyed look but said nothing. Typical. "You know if you don't answer me you're just making it worst as my imagination is running wild here"

"I'm not going to answer anything, drop it!" there was a warning in his voice that was enough for me to shut my mouth.  
The way to Max's office was quite before I couldn't stop myself from not make fun of him.

"So that girl…" I trailed off.

He threw a quick look before his eyes were once again in front of him "What about it?"

"Was she good?" I suddenly asked. For me that kind of question was nothing. Sometimes I preferred the company of the men just because there wasn't drama involved in every conversation, so for me to ask this kind of question was like asking how was your day. When you think of yourself as one of the men in the company this kind of question wasn't unusual. Apparently, Eric was a little bit taking a back before he shook his head.

"Did you really just ask me this?"

"I'm trying to make conversation"

He stayed silent for a while that I thought he might not answer me "No. I had better"

I sorted "She was pretty smitten when I saw her"

"That's just the effect I have over the women." He said cockily.

"Oh, please that was so cheese" we laughed slightly but the mood changed when we approached Max's office.

We entered slowly. I was ready for the wrath of Max to fall upon us the minute he saw us. Monic and Harrison were already there and they turned around the minute we entered the room.

"Well it was about time for both of you to show up," said Max seriously throwing daggers at us.

"I'm sorry. It took me a while to wake her up" said Eric suddenly with seriousness in his voice.

"What!?" I yelled. My head shot quickly toward Eric. My mouth was open, my eyes wide as I couldn't believe he just said that. I turned toward Max to explain myself but his raised hand shutting me up. He was definitely trying to get back at me because of everything I did so far. From walking in his apartment to waking him up, the Erudite jokes, the girl and now he was making it look like us being late was my fault.

"I don't care, just sit down both of you and let's get this meeting over with" his voice was sharp letting it be known that I couldn't argue with him. Eric sat down on the chair. I looked pissed sitting down myself next to him. I threw him a quick angry look.

"Oh, it's on!" I murmured at him, but he already put his stone mask and if he heard me he didn't even acknowledge me.

It was new for me to sit on Eric's table for breakfast. After the meeting, we went down to grab something to eat and he pulled me toward an empty table before I could even make one more step toward my usual one. I didn't question him just followed probably because he wanted to talk about the meeting.  
I looked up from my food, toward Eric who was sitting across from me with his eyes on something on the table. He looked very deep into thought.

"So the factionless are getting out of hand huh?"

That seemed to shook him up from his thoughts as he locked his silver eyes on me.

"It's not unusual for them to do something like this, but now it seems to be getting out of hand"

"Were there usually cases of attacked people?" he nodded. I didn't like that one bit, they were getting out of hand and as much as the Dauntless people were trying to hold them it seemed not enough. I opened my mouth to ask one more question when a body slumped on the spot next to me. An arm quickly went behind me pulling me to the body before I could register it was Mike.

"How is my savior?" he had his usual charming smile.

"Good, I got scolded by Max"

He frowned "Why, what happened?"

I pointed at Eric who was again lost in his thoughts slowly eating his meal "Because he did something and said it was my fault"

"Typical, don't worry beautiful I'll take your mind off of it" he smirked his head slightly leaning toward my neck but just when I was about to feel his hot breath on my skin Eric's low voice made him stop.

"I'm going to puke my breakfast"

"Aw, Eric come on! Tell me how can you not flirt with her?" I grinned. He was always so straightforward saying everything that was on his mind, even though most of the times it was a compliment toward me. I wasn't stupid I knew not to fall under the charming spell but it didn't hurt to go with it, just for fun.

Eric looked at me and for a second it felt like we were the only ones on the table or in the whole room. I felt like he was about to say something but he broke the eye contact and resumed his breakfast. I started to eat ignoring the arm that was still on my lower back.

"So how was Beka?" asked Mike grinning from ear to ear as he chewed. Ah, the typical friend who would ask you about the one night stand and he won't even be ashamed about it.

"So that's what her name was!"

"Wait, you know her?" turned Mike toward me, his eyebrows wrinkled.

"Yeah, I had the pleasure of meeting her this morning outside Eric's apartment. She's quite charming when it would be the wedding?" I asked Eric, barely holding my laughter. Payback! If me flirting with Mike made him pissed, me making fun of him with Mike made him furious.

Mike, on the other hand, burst out laughing next to me. "God, I already love you!" he said between laughter offering me a high five. Laughing myself I slapped his hand.

"I'm already regretting introducing you two" Eric shook his head and kept eating like nothing happened.

"it was love at first sight," said Mike dreamingly pulling me closer to him.

"Do you say that to all of the girls?"

"Yeah, but you're special" he winked.

"I heard that one before just before he took my clothes off"

He laughed shaking his head "Where have you've been all my life?"

"In a capsule" I answered honestly before we both started laughing. I threw a quick look at Eric, who was watching us joke around with a very murderous look on his face. If I knew better I might think he was ready to jump on Mike and kill him on the spot but then he was the one to make it known that I need to stay away from his friends like I was going to corrupt him.

A figure stopped behind Eric patting him on the back before he took the seat beside him.

"Are they too much for you?" said Jack sympathetic but there was a hint of mockery.

Eric threw him a quick look before he once again looked angrily at us. "You have no idea" he murmured.

"He just jealous I have the girl," said cockily Mike. I frowned at him slowly backing off from his embrace.

"Excuse me, I'm no one's girl"

"Yeah, but you can't still resist my charms"

I leaned back at him "Yeah your right"

We continue our breakfast which was filled with chatter, more flirting with Mike and more pissed off Eric. Last minute I was told that today there was a market for all the factions, which Eric was talking about when I asked him for books. Of course, I didn't know where it was and had to convince him to go with me, bribing him in the process with beer.

After breakfast, I and Eric weren't the only ones that wanted to go there. In the end, Jack and Mike came with us. We were walking down the stone corridors, Mike had his arm around my shoulders pulling me close to his body as my hand was around his torso. It felt good to be this close to someone but I knew better, that this was nothing but I wasn't sure he knew that. Surely he could have any girl he wanted and it seemed that he got his attention toward me but I didn't want him. I liked the feeling of being carefree friends like that, to flirt shamelessly and at the same time both of us to know that this was just for fun and nothing else. I liked being part of groups, more or so I liked being a part of boy's group but if only they saw me as the boy of the group who had long hair and casually stares at boys, not the pretty girl who just likes to have boys around her.

Suddenly I stopped when I felt the gun that was tugged into Mike's pants. Mike beside me looked at me with concern in his eyes.

"What happened?" he asked instantly coughing the attention the Eric and Jack who were in front of us.

"I don't have a weapon" I looked up at Eric, who looked pissed. "Don't look at me like that. You once again didn't give me one!" he gave out a small sigh and nodded toward a different corridor. Not long enough we stopped at a door and when Eric opened it my mouth fell. The room was huge and probably had rolls and rolls with guns, a couple of boxes and maybe some hidden treasures. I suddenly felt like a kid on Christmas day.

"Take whatever you want" I heard Eric beside me but I was long lost from the sight in front of me. I made an exiting sound and started to run between the rolls.

Mike spoke with amusement in his voice. "I've never seen a girl so happy for guns"

"Have you met me?" I questioned stopping right before a couple of drawers instantly finding the knifes and starts. "I can take whatever?" I asked but I didn't turn around I was mesmerized by the weapons in front of me.

"Yeah," Eric said annoyingly.

I started to grab a couple of knifes tucking them inside of my jacket, who had special spots for such things. It was no surprise that it had, after all, it was Dauntless jacket. I was on the stars when I heard Eric again.

"Take a gun, stop with this knifes and stars"

"But I like those better"

"Just take a fucking gun, Val. You'll be dead before you make the stands to throw a knife."

I snorted but I didn't argue with him instead I took one of the guns, making sure it was loaded before leaving.

We took the train, I have to say that I missed some parts of riding a train. Since I came here I didn't have a chance to ride it again. If we went something we usually took the cars because it was faster but not now.

The market was one long street on which both sides were filled with tables of goods. The people dressed in colorful clothing made the street look more festive than it was but made my eyes eager to capture every little detail. It was hard to lose a Dauntless in the whole ordeal when we were the only black spots, even harder was to lose Eric not because of his blond hair and hight but because everywhere he went people made him path like Moses.

I was fascinated by all of the things people sell, to baked goods, books, random items for decoration and every faction had something to offer. For me, it was a little bit strange. It was even stranger when I stopped at Erudite book section and the looked at me funny like I got lost or something. But I didn't pay attention to them as I was eager to get some new books and the minute my eyes landed on the familiar and unfamiliar titles I was lost in my own little world.  
The ride back was silent between the men and I couldn't be more happy with the books I had. I was strangely surprised to see old classics which were begging me to buy them so I could read them again. I knew I had more books in the boxes but since I was not ready to open any of them yet my bookshelf was standing empty in my apartment, not like Eric's which filled with books.

We parted ways with Jack and Mike as we made our way toward our apartments. I didn't feel how the time had passed and the whole day just went by just from looking around the marketplace. I was turning toward my door when I felt Eric's hand on mine. I looked at him questionably.

"Come on, I promised a dinner and I don't like being in debt for someone," he said, nodding his head toward his door. I grinned like he was doing it because he was in debt.

"Okay, be right there. I'll leave the books and get that beer I promised if you show me the market" I winked and entered my apartment.

"Fine, I'll leave the door open" I heard him say behind me before he started to walk toward his door. I left the books on the coffee table and picked up the six-pack of beers from the fridge.

His door was wide open as I entered and closed it behind me. He was already in the kitchen pulling things out of the cabinets and the fridge. I placed the beer on the counter and my legs carried me toward the bookshelf. I was going to let him cook all by himself, after all, he never helped me, so why should I?

My eyes started to linger on the titles on the spines. There were a lot of familiar titles and some not so familiar as my finger trailed off the books.

"Can I steal one of your books?" I asked as my eyes landed on one book in particular.

"You just bought books"

"Yeah, but I don't want to read those I want to read that one here," I said pulling out the book. "I promise that I'll return it if not I know you can always enter my apartment and take it" He was looking at me for what seemed to be hours before he answered.

"Fine," he said annoyingly and he resumed his cooking. I placed the book somewhere where I could see it when I return home and made my way toward the kitchen. Eric's head was down as he was cutting some vegetables. I would have never guessed that he could cook or even be able to imagine him in a kitchen at all. I opened one of the beers and sat on one of the counters with a jump. He threw me a quick glance before he resumed cutting.

"So what are you cooking me?" I asked watching his skilled hands.

"Stake"

"Yum…"

I watched him cook for a couple of minutes as he was grilling the stake and cooking the veggies. He would casually take a sip from his bear or throw a side glance at me just to see me watching him carefully. We talked about a lot of stuff and at the same time not so much. He was telling me about previous initiations and especially the one where Tris was in.

"So you ordered Four to throw knives at her?" I asked still not believing it as we sat on the table with our plates.

"No, I ordered for him to throw knives at other initiate but she opened her mouth and she took his place"

I laughed shaking my head. "That's why they hate you. Chris's not a fan of you either"

He smirked picking up a veggie with his fork "Yeah, I made her hang over the Chasm for five minutes" he said casually. My mouth went flying down. When he noticed I was quite he looked up.

"What did she do?" I could see he was a little bit taken aback by my awe expression.

"She gave up" he shrugged.

"Damn, what else?" I was eager to learn more. He seemed to be amused by my interest and stirred in his chair before answering.

"One year I pushed an initiate off of the roof…" My eyes widened. I knew he was capable of that, I wasn't even surprised. "…there was the net below but he didn't know that" he smirked.

"If I train them, can I beat the crap out of them if they disobey?" I asked with a hint of mischievousness in my eyes which seemed to be to his liking.

"The best way is to make them fear you if they don't then beat them" he shrugged. "But I doubt that you'll have a problem of them fearing you"

"Is that so, am I that scary?"

"Val, your my protégé, it's a requirement" I laughed only Eric as a mentor would want you to be scary in order to train you.

"So, is Four going to train them?" I asked him placing a bite of the delicious stake in my mouth. He nodded to busy chowing. "Pff…they will suck! Can't we train them?"

"You'll be leader you don't need to the job of others"

"Yeah, but they'll suck! If we train them they will be killing machines" I said pointing at him with the fork. He was smiling like I just offered him to take over the world together.

"No doubt, but we could oversee the training and piss off Four" he suggested with the same evil glint in his eyes.

"That I like!"

We talked a little bit more about the upcoming initiation and what was expected of them and us to do. Listening to him talk made me even more excited about it. I couldn't wait to show the things I knew to someone who didn't. He talked more about the things he had done to initiates in the past making me laugh my ass off. It even made me notice how similar we react to certain things and how I would do the same thing as him.

The dinner continued with pleasant chatter it wasn't awkward or quite like at the beginning where we would just stay in silent and I liked it even though I don't mind the silence too. Sometimes with him during the silence, we say more things than when we talked.

We ended the night with me helping him clean up a little bit and sitting on his couch drinking beer. To be honest I didn't want to go back to my empty apartment so I overstayed my welcome knowing that I would end up crashing on his couch and he wouldn't even have a say in it.


	20. Boxes

**_Oh boy, a whole chapter just from Eric's (POV)._**  
 ** _Well, I hope you enjoy it because I think this chapter just moved to being my favorite._**  
 ** _I love to read what you think and thank you all for reading! ^^_**

* * *

I knocked on her door hoping that she would answer. I haven't seen her today and for some reason, she decided to miss her leadership training. Not that she needed it. She was very skilled with the technology and usually took her a few minutes to figure things out and how they worked in order to use them. But still she needed to train and she missed it.

There was no sound coming from the other side of the door but that didn't stop me from knocking again hoping that she might be inside and just pretend not to hear me. When the sound of the third knock echoed through the empty corridor I heard soft footsteps coming closer.

"Who is it?" she asked not opening the door. Since when she asked who it was?

"It's me, open up!" I said with a little bit of authority. "One second" she yelled and I heard her hurrying somewhere. There was strange feeling in my gut that something was wrong. She didn't act normally like this. When I heard her coming close to the door she unlocked it and open it so slightly that I could only see her face.

The sight of her made my heart clenched. Her eyes were puffy and red, no doubt from crying. Her nose was red too. She looked like a mess and I was itching to pull her into my embrace but I didn't do it. She smiled even though her smile didn't reach her eyes. She was trying to hide the fact that I caught her like this. She was trying to make it look like nothing was wrong and hide behind her mask, but the puffy red eyes were giving her out.

"Are you okay?" I asked but I knew the answer. I knew she was going to lie anyway.

"Yeah, I'm okay," she said reassuringly with a smile on her face but I could see how hard she was trying to keep up with the good appearance. She opened the door a little bit wider and stepped out of the way, inviting me in. With a few quick steps, I was inside her apartment.

Nothing really had changed since the last time I saw it. The only thing that drew my attention and made me understand why she was crying was the boxes. They were gone from the wall that had been their place for a month now. I knew she only took some things out, the most important things she needed. But the rest of the boxes had been there sitting, collecting dust and she never opened them nor speak about them. Now they were gone.

"I was about to make coffee. Do you want some?" she pulled me out of my thoughts as I looked up to her. She was still forcing a smile on her face. I only nodded and she quickly went to the kitchen.

I turned around toward the living area. A few items were spread on the coffee table. There was an open small wooden box. Coming closer to it I saw that it had two levels. The top one was lifted from the bottom one. There was a beautiful dagger laying nicely on a cushion on the top level, while on the bottom instead of a dagger were laying a dozen stars. Whatever that was, it looked very cool and it popped up so many questions about its origin. My eyes moved to a couple books laying next to the box and one in particular, which was open.

I sat down on the sofa looking at the open book. My curiosity got the better of me and I started to flip through pages. There wasn't anything written on it. It was filled with pictures. I knew that people back then loved to take pictures, now it wasn't common at all. We didn't need this, there was no point of taking pictures in order to remember something. But now when I'm looking through the colorful little pieces filled with faces and places I couldn't help but think that they serve their purpose now.

On some of the pictures, I could identify Val, on some of them it was harder for me to do so as she was surrounded by girls. I flipped the page looking at one particular picture. There was Val with an elderly couple. The woman had red curly hair that so much resembled Valeria's while the man had dark brown one. It didn't take me long to figure out that they were her parents. They looked happy with huge smiles on their faces as Valeria. I hardly saw this kind of big smile on her but it was still there.

There were a couple of pictures that reminded me of her fears. Probably it was the place she lived, as her fears were memories. One particular picture had my heart in the throat.

Valeria was smiling widely, dressed casually in jeans and T-shirt as I usually see her dressed. Her hair was loose on her shoulders, looking like fire spreading. But that wasn't the sight that got me a little bit jealous. I knew who _he_ was, I'd seen him so many times in her fears, sometimes in the first one, most in her second one. A face that I couldn't forget even if I wanted to, a face that sparked so many questions about Valeria and at the same time was the answer to all of them. There was the familiar boy hugging her from behind. His hands were around her body laying on her chest as her own hands were covering his. His dark brown eyes were shining with happiness as the wide smile was spread across his features making a dimple on his left side. His brown hair was falling on his shoulders as his head was leaning closer to Valeria's. His body was barely hidden from Valeria's but there was a jewelry that was around his neck – steel dog tag with a feather next to it. It was such a specific thing making me lean forward so I could get a closer look at it.

"What are you doing?" I heard Val's pissed voice next to me and I understood that I let my guard down, too caught up in the picture that I forgot to listen about her. I lifted up my eyes at her. She was caring two cups in her hands, her eyes were slightly better but there was still a hint of redness in them.

"I shouldn't have. It's just, we don't make photo albums anymore or take pictures for that matter" smooth. I didn't know why I was so set on making her believe me that I wasn't snooping around but here I was, making excuses.

"Here" she only said giving me a cup. The moment her hand stretched out slightly uncovering her chest, I froze. The same necklace that was on _him_ was on her neck now. Making me think if I ever have the chance with her while _he_ , even dead, was still with her.

I shook my head and took the cup from her as she sat down on the sofa next to me. She usually sits closer to me, now wasn't exception only this time it felt different. It felt like she was using me.

She looked mindlessly at the photo of her and him as she took a sip from her coffee.

"You finally unpacked," I said starting up a conversation. Her eyes never left the photo when she spoke: "Yeah, I couldn't bring myself to do it earlier." She said quietly. "It caught up to me"

"What did?" I was looking at her carefully. Through this past few months since she was here our relationship became more trusting and friendly. There was still lingering doubt in both of us about some things but overall we were close. We would watch movies or just sit in silence drinking beers on her balcony. We never talked about that kiss but it never left my mind and I was sure she was thinking about it sometimes. She was more open talking about some things, strangely I was too.

"It just now hit me that they are all gone. My parents, my friends, Eliot…" she stopped herself closing her eyes. "It's like I was living in a lie since I came here. I knew in the back of my mind that they were dead but I just didn't register it. Now, when I opened the stupid boxes filled with memories about my family and my past life, I lost it." Small tears were starting to spill out of her eyes and glide down her cheeks. " They're all gone and I'll never see them again. All I have are those stupid photos and items that used to be theirs, but they're all gone! I'm here and they died hundred years back." She started to sob. I quickly placed my cup on the table, taking her cup from her shaking hands and placing it next to mine. Without thinking I grabbed her sobbing body and brought her close to me. She clenched her hands in my shirt bringing her head on my chest as she cried her eyes out. She was strong no doubt not just when she hides behind her mask. She was one of the bravest and strongest persons I knew and at the same time the most carrying one.

No one ever saw her like this. I was probably the only one that ever saw her cry and she never let someone get that close to her to even see that side of her. Making me slightly prideful and selfish just from thinking that I was the only one, the privileged one.

I started to stroke her back pulling her close to my body. I wasn't used to comforting girls but everything came so easy with her, so natural.

"They're dead Eric. They didn't even know I was going in the capsule. I never told my parents I just took their photo albums and a couple of belongings without them knowing. I pretended that everything was like it used to be like I was happy and I was enjoying my life. They were happy that I came to see them but they didn't know. They didn't know that this time it'll be the last time we saw each other. They had no idea and I had to pretend that everything was all right."

She sobbed in my shirt "I didn't say my farewell with them, I only say goodbye see you soon but there was no soon…" a sob escaped her throat as she clenched my shirt, even more, making me pull her even closer to me. She was sitting on my lap now but neither of us cared.

I didn't know what to say so I just held her. I knew that whatever I say it won't make her feel better. It won't bring back the people she had lost. The only thing I knew that was going to help her was just me being here, holding her.

It took a few minutes before she calmed down but she didn't let go of me. Her hands were still around my body hugging me close as her head laid on my chest. I slowly stroked her back in a calming manner. Sometimes I could hear her snort but that was the only sound she made.

"You feel better?" I asked her softly. I could feel her fingers slowly stroking a spot on my body.

"No" her voice was raspy from all of the cryings.

"You want some water?"

As on cue, she clung more to me as if I was going to run away. "No, don't leave me" I let out a sigh holding her closer if that was even possible. I understood her just fine. She had lost so many people and now I could see how I was the only one still here, even though I wasn't from her past. I was the only one that knew this much about her.

"I'm not. I'll be right here" I reassured her and I could feel her hold on me loosen but not that much. She was like a small child, scared of the thunder.  
I looked back at the picture with her and Eliot. "You had a thing with _him_ , didn't you?" I asked quietly. I didn't need to specify whom, she knew very well. I felt her nod against my body. Her answer immediately made me regret asking something I already knew the answer to but I was too stubborn to admit it was true. She still loved _him_ , no doubt, which was making things hard for me when I couldn't stop thinking about the stupid kiss and how good it felt. How good I was feeling even now when she was clinging to me like her life depended on it. I felt like I was just a replacement even though nothing was happening between us.

The only thing that made me think I have a chance with her was the fact that I was here now and he wasn't. No matter how evil that sounded. But there was no point in trying when her heart was with _him_ and I wasn't even sure that I was capable of something more than just one-night stand.

"Do you still love _him_?" I suddenly asked. I wasn't even sure why I asked this like I didn't know the answer already.

"Well yeah, it's not like we broke up because he hurt me." She murmured. "At least he had a happy life" she added catching my attention.

"How do you know?"

"The book" I was more confused and I looked down on her. Her head went slightly up, enough for her to be able to see my face. She was so close. I could lean in just a little bit and press my lips to hers, just like during the dare and she was so vulnerable so confused that it would be so easy. But I just stood still watching her puffy eyes as she was looking back at me. I could see she was thinking about the same thing but I didn't make a move neither did she. She was still in love with _him_. Dead or not dead he was still in her heart and there was no place for anyone else.

Slowly she pulled out of my embrace immediately feeling the warmth of her body leaving mine. She didn't say anything just stood up and went to the bookshelf which was now filled with books. There were still empty spots but it was not that empty as before. She pulled out a small book from there and started walking back. I immediately understood what book it was and my mind couldn't comprehend the thought that she was actually doing this.

When she was close to me once again she extended her arm and offered me the book. The same book with the girl with red hair on the forest path on the cover. I was confused. Was she giving it to me? I looked up from the book to her not sure if I should take it, after all, she might be testing me or just enough trusting me to give it to me.

"Are you sure?" I asked. She didn't answer she just pushed the book in my hands and sat close to me. So close that our shoulders were touching. I opened the book a little bit unsure and started to read.

As I was reading she was leaning more into me looking and probably reading the same thing I was. Her hands were playing with the dog tag around her neck.  
The book was made for kids and that was clearly visible by the colorful pictures of houses, people, horses, and Valeria. The text wasn't much but said enough to describe the perfect picture. It tells the story of a red-headed girl in a small village. It started with her childhood to her teens. How she was learning the things her grandmother was teaching her about the herbs but for the book's sake, it was spells and potions. How the rumors about the war started, how they knew they had to preserve the knowledge and how she volunteered to do so. How they found the knight that came to teach her for years. How she helped him as he was helping her. How they fell in love and kept it a secret from everyone until the fateful day. How she clinging to him just before the put her in the capsule. How he felt leaving her there. The end of the book was simple, telling the story of Eliot instead of Valeria's and I understood what she meant when she said that she knew he'd a happy life.

The story itself felt like a fairytale and if I didn't know else I would have thought it was work of fiction but it was real. Everything was written was real and had happened at some point.

When I finished the book I turned toward Valeria. She was trusting me enough to give me the book to read it. I had my doubts when I gave it to her, but I knew that she would someday tell me. This day came and here I was sitting speechless. I didn't know what to say. I could say that all of my questions were answered but more came out.

"Who wrote it?" I broke the silence.

"Eliot" she simply answered and it all made sense. How she reacted the day I gave it to her and how the book itself felt like it was written by someone who knew her well. And he made sure she knew what happened to him in the end. I clenched the book in my hands and I felt angry for some reason.

"It's my short life story but more magical" she let out a small sad laugh and her eyes were on the book in my hands.

"He sure took his time teaching you," I said a little e bit angrily.

"Well, he taught me for a year and something then when I was ready I helped him in the wars. You know running after him and healing as many people I can on the battlefield " she was talking with a vague smile on her face and her eyes were distant like she was reliving it. "Then he would usually clear the things I was lacking in. But guess he didn't clear all because you did"

"Your last fear?" I asked suddenly as I understand what it meant. I felt like she was ready to tell me everything and I were greedily going to take it all and ask for more.

"A real thing, a little bit exaggerated but true" she nodded, pressing her lips. I held my breath. In my years of life, I had seen things, brutal, evil things but standing next to her especially when I had seen her fears I felt like I haven't seen anything at all.

"It must have been hell"

Her eyes moved on mine still sad and a little bit glossy. "Oh it was hell, but you learn to kill just to survive and live to help the others. Besides, that's what the knowledge is all about" In my mind, all her fears started to make a little bit sense. Her last fear, the factionless attack we had. I didn't pay attention then but now I could see how she was acting then like she belonged. She killed three of them and she didn't even break down.

The thoughts about this made me shiver with fear of how she was so brutal and cold like no other girl I had met. I had done brutal things, killing in cold murder but this was different. And at the same time, I felt awe toward her.

"The fear about your grandmother?" she looked like she didn't expect the question.

"Also somehow true, but still a little bit exaggerated. Maybe deep inside I could feel that she was holding her words and the fear just showed them. "

"So she was angry at you because you left with Eliot?" I asked trying to put two and two together.

"Yes, but I didn't run away with him just so we could be together. I did it because I had to do what I had to do. To help where people needed help - in the war. She didn't understand that because every other girl in the village was too scared to even leave the village what could be said for war" her voice started to raise and I could see she was getting angry the more she spoke. "and my grandmother had the guts to tell me Megan was better than me. I was the one that trained for years! I was the one that had nightmares after the stupid war, I was the one that went into the stupid capsule and left everything behind just for the sake of keeping the stupid knowledge alive and so that the other cowardly girls could live their happy lives" she was now yelling, angry tears were falling down her eyes as she was talking. Before I knew it she was sobbing once again uncontrollably next to me. Her head was down, her face hidden behind her hair. I could only hear her sobs and nothing else.

I was shocked by the fact how much she was willing to tell me and the fact that she stood in front of me and showed such weakness. She was truly broken if she was letting herself cry before me or she was just trusting me enough.

My hands were on her shoulders squeezing them tightly but that only seemed to bring her in more tears. Her hands went around her small body and she hugged herself tightly. She looked like a small child but what I once saw as a way of weakness and a chance for her to be broken, now was replaced by strength.

"Hey, look at me!" I ordered but that was all I got. I didn't know what I would say or do after this. She slowly raised her head and snorted which made me a faint smile appear on my face. Before I could even help myself my hand glided toward her neck up to her face, feeling her warm body. I cupid her face in my big hands and brushed off the tears that were spilling out of her green eyes. We locked eyes and for a minute the time stopped. She was so close, all I needed was to pull her a little bit closer to me and lock my lips with hers but I didn't do it. She was too confused and still in loved with _him_.

I was silent because I didn't know what to say to her but my hands were still on her face brushing off the tears that seemed to be spiling quicker now. Her hands went around mine and she squeezed them tightly. So vulnerable and so easy to break but I couldn't do it even if I wanted to. I finally gained her trust and I wasn't going to lose it now, even though I wasn't sure myself why her trust was so important to me.

"You're brave enough to survive here, don't let the past control you. Everyone is dead Val but you're not. " She closed her eyes as I spoke and she didn't open them till I spoke again "So my advice is. Take today off. Cry your eyes out and then come back stronger than ever and I know you can do it.

Her hands squeezed my arms tightly. Her face changed suddenly showing the fierceness and determination she once had "I'm trusting you with this and no one knows but you. Don't make me regret it!" she warned me, her eyes locked on mine but there wasn't sadness in them anymore. Sure they were still glossy but now they were murderous. "I'm making once again the first step into this trusting issue and I still wait for you to do the same. But don't think even for the slightest that you can use that against me because you'll regret it!" I was a little bit taken aback by her harsh words but said nothing. I could see what made her this way, now was clearer than before. But I wasn't still aware of what pushed her to have trust issues.

I took her warning very seriously, I knew what she was capable of. Maybe I haven't seen her in full force but I knew. But at the same time, I didn't see her as a threat, I saw her more like equal as I was sure that I didn't want my secrets and pass spilled out to all the world to see.

I nodded "Don't worry, I know you unpacked your books and you have the herbs. I don't want to end up mysteriously dead" I said with a faint smile. She smiled too with maybe a little bit of relief in her eyes.

"Good," she said and pulled out of my hands, standing up she started walking toward the bathroom "Excuse me for a bit," she said and closed the door behind her. I sighed and leaned back on the couch. What was I doing? My eyes once again landed on the happy picture of her and Eliot and all I wanted was to rip it off and make him disappear. I looked at the time on my phone and stood up making my way toward the bathroom door.

"Hey, I have to go the guys are meeting me for a movie night. I expect from you tomorrow morning to be ready for our run no excuses. " I leaned on the door waiting for her to respond. The door opened reviling Val who looked a lot better than she was a few minutes ago.

"Don't worry I'll get it out of my system today and be focused from tomorrow," she said with determination and I knew she wasn't lying.

"Good, I didn't expect less from you," I said and started walking toward her front door. Just before I opened it I looked back at her. She was leaning on her bathroom door watching me carefully her fingers were playing with the dog tag on her neck, making me take a long breath.

"If you feel like it, you can crash guys night not like it ever stopped you before" I offered with a small smile. She smiled too.

"Will see"

I turned around and opened the door just when I was about to exit I heard her voice behind me.

"Thank you" that made me stop halfway through the door and look back.

"No, thank you" I murmured.

There was confusion on her face "For what?"

"Trusting me"

She let out a small laugh "Well, don't make me regret it!" there was a warning in her voice making me smirk at her before I closed the door.

Just when I stepped out of her apartment I saw Jack and Mike at the end of the corridor. Mike's brows were wrinkled as he saw me.

"I don't think that is your apartment door"

"No, it's not," I said and started walking toward them as they stopped in front of my apartment. They were throwing me strange looks when I came close to them and I could feel their stares when I unlocked the door. I didn't invite them in I knew they would just barge in and so they did. Jack went straight to the couch while Mike stopped in front of me. His eyes were shifting suspiciously on me and I was getting frustrated.

He pointed at something on me with a smirk before he spoke "You have mascara on your shirt" I looked down and there it was a black spot on my shirt exactly where her head was. I groaned and took off the shirt going straight to my bedroom. Mike was following me grinning from ear to ear.

"So… something you want to tell me?"

"No" I groaned and changed into a black T-shirt before I walked past him and made my way toward the kitchen.

"Come on, if you made out with her the least you can do is tell us how it was"

"It's not that, drop it" I tried with a little bit more authority but I knew very well that that voice didn't affect Mike or Jack when they wanted information.

Just when he was about to ask something more there was a faint knock on the door.

"I'll open it" declared Mike opened the door while I was taking out a couple of beers and snacks.

"Hey, am I late for crashing guys night?" it was Valeria at the door and I couldn't help but smile that I predicted this.

"Hey, beautiful. Come in" Mike said pulling her with one hand into his body. I stood there watching them interact as she hugged him back and gave him the beers she was holding. Just a few minutes ago she was in my arms crying her eyes out and now she was joking with Mike. She was very good at pretending with Mike that everything was alright and that made me smile because I didn't see the pretend. For some reason, I wanted to rip them apart but the only thing that stopped me was the fact that just a few minutes ago I was the one that was holding her while she cried, not Mike nor Eliot, so I let her be.

Mike was pulling her toward the couch but she quickly turned around toward me, like she was searching for me. Our eyes locked and I saw her faint smile just before she sat down next to Mike, who placed his hand around her and pulled her close.

I didn't know what his business was with her and surely didn't like it. She seemed smarter than to fall into his spell and yet she was so close to him.

I shook my head and approached the group in the living room. Jack was already searching for a movie when I sat down on the armchair.

"So what are we watching?" asked Valeria looking at every one of us.

"Star Wars, you probably won't like it" murmured Jack. She snorted in return.

"I've watched all movies like more than five times, so please don't assume what I like and what I don't." Mike laughed beside her, appreciating the fact that Jack got burned by a girl. Jack threw me a quick look before he started the movie. I only shrugged and smiled at him too much enjoying the fact how Val seemed to be just in the right place with us.

My eyes shifted once more toward Mike and Val. She was watching me with a faint smile and we stood like that for what seemed to be hours before she turned her attention toward the movie dropping her head on Mike's shoulder and snuggling closer to him.

Clenching my jaw tightly stopping myself from saying the things I wanted to say, I drew a deep breath and averted my eyes away from them.

* * *

 ** _Okay, okay I know that I make her look bad when she was with Eric and then back to Mike but I promise that there is a good reason for her actions, which you might figure out before I even get the chance to write it._**

 ** _I really hope Eric isn't off character here. I tried but I didn't want him to be all tough love on her, after all, it's clear that he likes her._**

 ** _I don't know why I wrote it like this but it turned out great, maybe it was the fact that I wanted the reveal of her past to be done from his eyes. After all, he was the one who was curious to know it._**

 ** _And I know, I know there still might be lingering questions about...you know, that scar on her body...who's that Megan girl but all in due time._**


	21. Drunken Night

**_This chapter contains mild sexual content and I don't know why I'm warning you. This is rated M for a reason - so I would write how I feel like it.  
_**  
 ** _Thank you all for sticking out and continue reading, I know that the whole story is very slowly proceeding but I don't like to hurry with the romance or the plot, I don't want them to happen just in two chapters, I want them slowly building up to where I want them to go.  
_**  
 ** _I also feel that this will be a hell of a long fanfic but for the love of me, I can't seem to write less than I do now even if I wanted to. And I can't be possibly the only one that's happy when I find a 20+ chapters story.  
_**  
 ** _Okay, I'll stop chatting now, here is your next chapter! ^^_**

* * *

The music was blasting through the speakers and the bass could be felt so strongly in my stomach as my feet were moving with the music. It was the usual party at Friday night that usually gathered all the people from Dauntless or maybe it was someone's birthday no one knew for sure but no one really cared.  
I wasn't alone, I was with the girls. Finally, I had some free time to spend it with them.

I could feel the tension coming from Christina when I didn't sit down on their table for a couple of days and instead sat with Eric and his two friends. What could I say? I kind of liked their company better and I wasn't a person who would care about the feeling of the others and typically did whatever I wanted.  
If the others weren't happy they didn't show it but Christina did, which made me a little bit irritated because I wasn't intended to sit only with them. They had right to feel like that, I was the one that didn't speak to them for quite a while now because of everything that went through in my life. The leadership training that sometimes felt like hell and the opened boxes that had me emotionally brake down.

I couldn't tell them why I was acting strange for a few days and why I always seemed to be more closed off than usual. Why I spent so much time with Eric and his friends. They would never understand and I didn't want to explain it in order for them to understand.

My breakdown in front of Eric was enough for me and somehow I like to think that from all of the people here he did understand or maybe it was wishful thinking. Thank god he didn't speak of it again, just the occasional _"How are you doing?"_ or the scolding _"Get your shit together and act more like it!"_ but to be honest I had my shit together around others but not around him for some reason. My strongest emotions about my past always seemed to emerge when I was with him, even though I tried to hide it and I felt like I was losing my touch.

Never the less here I was having a little girls night with Tris, Chris, Marlene, Lynn, and Shauna because they at least deserved this if I couldn't give them more. We were at the party for a few hours now and after a couple of drinks, we started dancing.

Having a simple childhood and not much fun in the beginning of my teenage years, here I was living in a dream. Who would have thought that teenagers nowadays were more mature and hardworking than they were back in the days? Not that they didn't party like hell when they had the chance, but at sixteen here you were an adult, not a kid.

The bass was so strong that made everything on the ground, including me and the group, vibrate. No one, of course, paid attention to it as we were dancing and jumping in the rhythm of the music. There were bodies everywhere around me. Pressing into me as they too were swaying or jumping into the rhythm.  
But all that seemed too blissful slowly started to suffocate me. I knew I needed some time out on the bar and not surrounded by warm bodies and touchy man that thought it was a good idea to put his hands on my hips.

The girls were spinning around me, laughing and singing with the music here and there, they were so carefree, even I was around them. But that was normal. A couple of drinks and a good company won't hurt anyone to show a little bit humanity and have a good time.

I poked Tris in the arm trying to catch her attention because I was sure if I spoke she wouldn't hear me.

"I'm going to the bar!" I said trying my best to shout higher than the music. Tris looked at me confusingly for a second. I pointed at the direction of the bar and repeated. She nodded. I wasn't sure if she heard me this time or she just decided to nod in order to stop bother her but whatever it was I didn't stick to find out.

I made my way through the crowd of dancing bodies, pushing my way through. Some wise people stepped back giving me space to pass them, some didn't and got a heel connected with their feet. Never the less I made my way through the bar ignoring the hungry eyes that seemed to be stuck on me or more on my body. I cursed Chris for picking for what seemed to be the most slutty dress ever, even though I liked it. Maybe it was my long bare legs on those killing heels that got their attention, whatever it was I walked with confidence. I wasn't the one shy about it.

I sat on an empty chair at the bar and ordered a martini smirking seductively at the bartender in order to get my two olives.

I had my martini in front of me when I felt a hand around my shoulders. I was just about to tell the guy to shove his hand somewhere when I heard Mike's voice in my ear.

He must have felt that I tensed up in his arm because he quickly tried to comfort me "Calm dawn sweetheart its only me, no need to murder me" His hot breath was on my neck instantly making goosebumps erupt all over my body. I slowly turned my head toward him and looked at his green eyes that sometimes looked as green as mine. His face was inches away from mine and I could see his eyes shifting back and forward between my lips and eyes. I only smirked at him but neither of us made a move but I knew he wanted to.

"I suggest you don't sneak up on me like that because a guy left the dancing floor with a black eye"

His lips pulled into a smirk while he still sat so close to my face.

"Yeah, I saw him. What did the poor guy ever do to you?" he pouted mockingly.

"He thought it will be a good idea to put his hands on my hips"

His eyebrow rose "Just that?"

I leaned a little bit closer to him like I was going to tell him a secret but the space between us went to small to none exiting. I could see the quick flash of panic in his eyes when he registered how close I was but he quickly hid it.

"He was very touchy" I whispered smirking slightly by his reaction. As quickly as I got closer I moved back sitting better on my chair taking a sip from my martini. His hand that was on my shoulder slipped down and his attention was now on his drink.

"Who says that you need a man to protect you"

I threw him a quick look "Exactly"

"Remind why you're not in my bed, yet?" he suddenly asked. "You look like a one- night stand kind of girl" judging by my look his eyes went wide in just a second before he started to rumble "I didn't mean it like that. Your not cheap and you definitely don't deserve to be fucked just one time and left like the most girls here. I meant it like you look like you're up for that"

I laughed at him. He was nervous and for the shortest time, I knew him I never saw him like this. He was always cool and put together now he looked like he was about to sink into the ground.

"Relax, I know what you mean. And it's true I'm up for that" I shrugged casually. The coolness in his face quickly returned and the flirtatious smirk came back on his face.

"Then why aren't you in my bed yet?" he asked with such a sexy voice that would probably make every girl jump on his bed without even blinking.

I hissed "See here is the part where I have to put you in the friendzone"

His hand flew up to his chest in fake hurt "How dare you?"

I laughed taking a sip from my drink "Come on, your not stupid you know that this is just a flirt and nothing else" I motion between us.

"I know but still doesn't hurt to try. It won't hurt to score a redhead like you"

"What's up with men and redheads?" I raised my voice throwing my hand in the air in frustration.

The guy sitting next to me apparently caught our conversation because he turned his head in my direction, scanned me for a second and spoke "They're rare" he winked. Mike beside me burst out laughing. I narrowed my eyes at the guy slightly smirking. He only winked at me once more with a small smile on his face before he returned to his conversation.

"He's right" agreed Mike. I looked through the crowd and spotted one girl in particular

"There is a redhead" I pointed in her direction, Mike turned around toward where I was pointing and laughed.

"Fake!"

"What, you mean you like only naturals?"

"The naturals are rare, sweetheart. But still, that would do if you can't have the real thing" he said with a wink. I rolled my eyes at him, just when a girl approached us. Her small hand touched Mike's bicep and she leaned to his ear, her blond hair falling from her ear making a wall next to her face. I was watching Mike's expression carefully and I could see his eyes darkening. I smirked at him instantly picking up what she might have said to him. His green eyes moved to mine just when the girl straightened her back.

My tongue was itching me to say something that a best friend would say in this situation.

"Last chance sweetheart," he said. His sentenced caught the attention of the blonde whose icy look shot right at me. Damn, girls here were so jealous.

"Don't look at me like I just stole your candy" my face suddenly became serious and my glare cold when I spoke to the girl. I could see how uncomfortable she became by my sudden mood change and her small hand squeezed Mike's shoulder probably in a poor attempt to catch his attention but his eyes were on mine ready to take me to his apartment if I only just say one word.

"Nah! You're still in the friendzone" I said casually turning my head toward the bar and casually taking a sip from my martini. I saw him smirk with my side glance before he stood up.

"See you around then"

"Have fun!" I quickly said turning my head toward him.

"Oh, I will!" he wiggled his eyebrows making me laugh before he pulled the girl by her hand and they disappeared into the crowd.

It wasn't long before I felt a hand on my shoulder again and I was about to tell the guy to shove his hand somewhere when I saw it was Max.  
He chuckled softly "I didn't mean to scare you. You looked like you were about to beat the crap out of me"

"I tell you, Max, don't sneak up on me!" I warned him jokingly. He shook his head making himself comfortable on the bar stool that Mike was sitting just a few minutes ago.

"You know, the more Eric is mentoring you the more you look like him"

I scoffed quickly ignoring his gaze as my eyes searched for the bartender for another drink. "Hah!"

"Oh come on, that look you just gave me? It's Eric's I have seen it for over three years now" a threw him another sharp look that made him laugh. I was dead serious about him pissing me off but he was laughing at my face.

"That one too" he pointed at me. My eyes narrowed at him. I gave up searching for the bartender as I leaned toward Max.

"Max, how much did drink?"

"Not much" he shrugged. "Look I have an order for you," he said placing his big hand on my shoulder again. My gaze moved from his hand to his face.

"An order, in a party? What could you possibly need?" and I regretted the fact that I asked. He smirked like he was about to send me to my doom, his eyes shifted to something behind me before he spoke.

"You see Eric had too much to drink and I need someone to bring him home. Since I don't see Jack and Mike went away with that blonde I doubt that someone else will be willing to get him to bed"

"And you thought I'll be willing?"

He narrowed his eyes at me "Come on, you two are close. I'll give you a point in your training"

I was slightly getting frustrated with him. Apparently being a leader in training included fetching files and take care of fellow leaders

"You can't be possibly serious"

"Oh, I am"

"Why don't you get him to bed, why should I?" I started to get aggressive, like a child that was ready to make a tantrum just because it was told to do something it didn't want to.

"I'm the head leader Val, I could do whatever I want to" I never hated him more than I did now. His hand on my shoulder tightened and his expression became more serious just like when he was working and ordering around. He was going to push the head leader card on me.

"Come on, it will be appreciated. Besides you're his mentee" I groaned and stood up towering over Max.

"This's stupid and you know it" I spat at him not hiding the fact how irritated I was. He smirked.

"That thing you do. Also Eric" he pined out and I was even more ready to hit him, head leader or not he was getting on my nerves.

"I'm not mimicking Eric if that what's you applying!" I said coldly. He only laughed at my face and shook his head.

"Oh, I doubt you are. You two are just too much alike" I hated when people tell me this. Surely I see some similarities but not much. Maybe from another perspective, it was more visible and I was too blind to see it.

I only shook my head and turned around to where Max was pointing and sure enough, I saw Eric with the other leaders on one of the booths. He was slouched on the booth his hand that was laying on the table was barely holding the half empty glass of amber liquid in it. Eric himself looked so out of it. His eyes were barely staying open, his usually nice gelled hair was all messed up. I had never seen him like this.

"What's wrong with him?" I turned back to Max. He shrugged before answering "He had a lot on his mind"

"And you let him get drunk?" I yelled maybe a little bit too much.

Max's face became serious and I understood my mistake. Everything was fun and jokes until you raise our voice to the head leader, then you were in trouble.

"Watch it, Valeria! I'm not his babysitter and I'm surely not the one to stop him from drinking. If he needed to drown something in his mind with liquor I don't care. All I want from you is to take him home without any tantrums on your side" he spoke with a seriousness that might put every other person here in their place but all I wanted was to shove him and yell at the same time. My hands on my side went into fists and I could see that Max understood how close I was to argue with him. His hand flew in front of me stopping the words that were threatening to escape my mouth.

"Val, don't make a scene. You might be the only one that's able to take care of him, so I don't want to hear anything you have to say to me, just go." And just like that, he dismissed me.

"This better be worth it" I murmured and started walking toward the leader's table, leaving Max behind without even a second glance. When I approached the table I saw Harrison sitting next to Eric, Monic was there too with two of her friends and they were all chatting like the typical girls they are. Every head on the table, except Eric, turned toward me when I approached the table.

"Coming to join us Val?" asked Monic with a little bit of excitement in her voice. I could feel her friend's eyes looking at me from head to toe but I ignored them.  
I shook my head "Got an order to get this big guy home" I pointed at Eric, who didn't even register that I was here. One of the girl's brows rose up questionably as she didn't believe it, the other one looked at Monic as she was about to ask something and I suddenly felt like I was back in high school.

"Yeah, that might be a good idea. Poor guy hasn't seen him that drunk since last year" shook his head, Harrison, as he was looking at Eric. Pressing my lips and ignoring the stares I received from the female part of the table I bend over Eric placing my hand softly on his arm.

"Hey, big guy. Want to go home?" I asked softly but at the same time, I had to raise my voice so he could hear me. His silver eyes finally landed on me before he looked at the glass in his hands and raised it up to his lips. With one swift motion, I took it from his grasp and placed it on the table receiving a very angry groan from him in the process.

"No more, come on!" I said with a little bit more authority. Guess the roles were changed.

He shook his head but I was having none of that I knew I couldn't lift him up but I tried my best. He seemed to finally understand that I was trying to lift his heavy body off of the booth and he stood up. He lost his balance in the process. Thank god Harrison reacted quickly and stood up catching Eric before he fell. I was too on his other side but I wasn't sure if I was going to be able to catch him in time.

"Are you sure you will be okay with him?" asked Harrison with a little bit worry in his eyes. Eric was heavy and it will be hard even for me to carry him.

"Don't worry I got it" I reassure him and pulled Eric a little bit toward the right direction. His arm was around my shoulder as he was barely moving his legs but the good thing was that he didn't lean his whole weight on me.

"If you need help, call me, okay" I heard Monic behind me. I only nodded and started walking with Eric toward his apartment.

The walk there was silent. Eric was making small unsure steps, sometimes his one foot would slide behind him as he would try to regain his footing once more. I was holding him tightly with one arm around his torso. He didn't have his jacket on and it was a lot easier for me to hold him. His arm that was on my shoulder tightened making me turn my attention toward him.

He was looking at me with a genuine smile that I rarely saw.

"You know…" he started finally breaking the silence "…you look very beautiful tonight. Especially in this dress", I was barely holding my laughter. Eric wasn't known to give compliments easily or at all for that matter but apparently drunk Eric was more keen on making compliments.

"And those heels make your legs soooo….long" I grinned from ear to ear. I wasn't going to stop him. He was drunk and I was going to savor every little thing he had to say so I would make fun of him tomorrow morning and for the rest of his life.

"Thank you" I replied making him grin happily that I appreciated his compliments.

We finally reached his apartment door and for a second I thought it would be easier to get him in my apartment but I wasn't sure how he would react when he sobered up in the morning so I decided against it. I made him lean on the door frame, stabilizing him with my hands making sure he wouldn't fall because then I would have to call for back up.

His two hands were on each side of my shoulders probably so he could remain balanced but the look on his face told me otherwise. I ignored him because he was drunk and he was probably ready to tell me everything he had on his mind either true or not.

"Where is your key?" I looked up to his face. He leaned inches away from my face before he smirked.

"Wouldn't you like to know?" I rolled my eyes and started to search for his key in his jeans pockets. "It's a little bit more to the middle" he whispered still smirking stupidly. Like I was going to fall for that.

I shove him roughly toward the door frame, desperate to make space between us but that only made his smile on his face grow.

"Behave!" I said with authority ignoring his grinning and his hands that seemed to be now exploring my body. Ignoring him I finally found his key and started to unlock the door.

I opened the door pulling Eric with me. Inside, the room was dark and there was barely light coming from the window. Before I could find the key to the lights and turn them on I was being pushed roughly toward the closed door behind me.

A sharp gasp left my throat from the sudden move. He was barely standing on his feet how was he able to make this happen in a matter of seconds? Before I could register what was happening I felt his strong body pinning me between the door and him. My hands flew up to his chest in a desperate attempt to push him away but they only bent from his force. His hands were on each side of my head not allowing me to escape.

In the darkened room I was only able to see his silhouette, his head that was coming closer to me and for the life of me, I couldn't move a muscle. I felt his hot breath on my neck as his hands traveled from my shoulders down to my body. It took everything I have to push him a little bit reminding myself that he was drunk.

"Eric, you're drunk," I said but that came out as a whisper. He didn't budge from my desperate attempt to push him away from me and I wasn't sure if I was trying hard and he didn't move or I was pretending to be trying.

"Shh…" I felt his hot breath on my ear and my head went back hitting the door behind me as my body erupted with goosebumps. Just this little thing made my body react to him, making me forget everything wrong about this situation. His left hand was on my hip pulling me closer if possible into his body while his right hand was traveling back up to my neck leaving hot traces wherever it passed by. He cupid my face with his hand, feeling his thumb caressing my cheek. His face wasn't on my neck anymore he was just inches away from mine I all I could do was hold my breath and wait for him to make his next move.

My eyes started to get used to the darkness around me, but his face was still hidden in the shadows only his dark smile could be seen, making everything look so ominous and sexy at the same time. I could see his eyes looking at me profoundly like he was seeing me for the first time.

His thumb slowly moved to my lips making small circles. And I stood there, hypnotized, not daring to move a muscle and for some reason I didn't want to. In the back of my mind, I knew he was drunk and he was probably doing this because of it. He probably wouldn't remember this in the morning anyway, so why not just embrace it.

He was looming over me like he had done it more than one occasion only this time the space between us was so small that I was able to feel his hot breath on my lips and see his lustful silvery eyes even in the dark.

"You know, I haven't stopped thinking about that kiss we shared" he whispered and the confession made my heart race in my chest. I didn't expect this from him. God knows how many times I had thought the same thing, always surfacing when I least wanted it but I couldn't deny the fact the I wanted to kiss him again and feel the ring on my lips. What surprised me was that he too thought about it or maybe it was just the alcohol talking.

His thumb continued to play with my lips and felt the need to pull him closer to me, to feel his body pressed even more to me but I was in a trap from his gaze and I couldn't move. All I was able to do was breath heavily and grip his shirt tightly.

"You thought about it too, haven't you?" he asked rhetorically, his breath even closer to my lips. I closed my eyes even though the darkness in the room was thick. I didn't need to answer, he already knew the answer just from my reaction.

His thumb didn't stop his movements on my lips when his whole body pressed more into mine. I was grateful for the fact that he was holding me so tightly because I wasn't sure if my legs could hold my own weight. His thumb pulled a little my lower lip making me open my eyes. His eyes were looking down at my lips like was hypnotized or very deep into thought.

With every quick breath, I took my body pressed more into his and all I wanted was to mold into his embrace and never let go.

He slowly started to move closer to me like he finally decided what to do. Registering immediately what he was about to do I made one last miserable attempt to stop him but what came out of my mouth was barely a resemblance of his name before his thumb was replaced with his soft lips.

My mind went blank and all I cared about right now was his warm lips on mine and the feeling of his cold ring. Closing my eyes savoring the moment of how he felt and tasted like it was going to be my last chance. My hands went up to his neck, pulling him closer to me in a desperate attempt to create a little bit more friction between us because - the need to feel him and have him closer increased with every second his lips were on mine.

His tongue slid into my mouth like the last time when we kissed only this time I didn't suppress the moan in my throat when I felt the taste of whiskey that he drank, which made him even more intoxicating. His right hand was entwined in my hair pulling me closer to him, deepening the kiss, while his other hand was greedily exploring my body.

I wasn't even sure how many times I wanted to kiss him again, to feel his body that close to mine and his hand tangled in my hair. And now it was happening and I couldn't get enough of him.

He pulled out from the kiss, taking a much-needed breath before he trailed his warm lips down my neck. Taking a sharp breath my head went back giving him better access to the place I wanted him.

I could feel the desire for him rising, even more, when I felt him nipping and biting my neck, probably leaving a couple of marks in the process but I couldn't care less, some wicked part of me wanted to be marked.

I moaned arching my body into him more when I felt his lips behind my earlobe.

"I want you so bad you have no idea" he softly groaned in my ear making me shiver. He pressed his hips into mine, showing me how much he really wanted me and I couldn't stop the moan that was in my throat.

His hand on my hips traveled down toward my thighs and the end of my dress that now felt like one more obstacle between us. I felt his big hand traveling up pulling the dress up too in the process. Revealing my panties and body for his hungry eyes and hands. The hot trail he left stopped again on my hips where the tattoo was before it traveled up reaching the hem of my bra.

His lips were still on my neck leaving shameless marks as his hand was exploring every inch of my body. I was melting, melting into his touch and kisses. I became a moaning mess in his arms and all I could do was grip his shoulders and enjoy it. But that wasn't enough for me and without noticing it my hips started to rub into his desperate for some friction, a relive but that made the things even worst.

"Eric" I breathed out when I felt him suddenly moving his hands down lifting me up from the floor. My legs went around his hips just when his hard body pressed mine into the door and I could feel his hardness pressing just on the right spot, making me no doubt wetter than I was before.

His face was still buried in my neck and I was getting frustrated. I needed to taste him again. My hand when up to his hair pulling him roughly away from my neck. He let out a growl before I pulled his lips to mine again, his tongue finding his way back to mine.

Before I knew it his hands went around my body holding me tightly before he started to walk toward his room.

I vaguely understood what that meant when I was caught up in the needy kiss. He slammed the door open dropping me roughly on the bed and he wasted no time getting on top of me pinning me now on the soft mattress.

His hands started to roam hungrily all over my body pulling my dress up in the process. My own hands were doing the same, moving below his shirt just to feel his body. He pulled out of my lips, starting to trail down small kisses through my neck and lower, moving past my collarbone, my breasts and down my now exposed stomach.

I moaned arching my back as my legs were trembling in anticipation when I felt his lips stop just above the hem of my panties. His hands were pining me not letting me move too much as his head went lower but to my disappointment, it wasn't where I wanted him to be. His lips traveled to my inner thighs always closer to my core but never close enough. My hands were gripping the sheets like my life depends on it.

I growled when he tricked me one more time and I saw his devilish smirk filled with satisfaction that he was the cause of my misery. With one last bite on my inner thigh, he pulled himself up settling his body between my legs, which went around his waist pulling him closer, pressing his erection on the spot which was so desperate for attention. He let out a low growl biting roughly a spot on my almost exposed breast. The mixture of pain and pleasure hit me making me moan in return. He was still smirking and I was sure that if I begged him for something he would gladly obey but my pride wasn't allowing it.

He started to lean into me when I suddenly pushed him away from me and with one swift motion, I pined him on the mattress. My legs were on each side of him like I had done more than just one time. There was a surprise in his expression for a second before it was once again replaced by lust. His hands griped roughly my thighs pulling me down to his hardness. My head went back as my hands gripped his chest hard and if there wasn't a shirt there would probably be marks.

With a dark smirk, he started to sit up before I pushed his body roughly, his back hitting the bed. His dark laugh filled the room.

"I knew you like it rough," he said with a husky voice as his hands gripped my thighs harder. My body leaned into his pressing small kisses on his ladder tattoo. My lips trailed up going to his ear.

"You know nothing" ** _(John Snow! I'm sorry I couldn't help myself. Cary on!)_** His body shook with laughter below mine as his hands started to go up my body pushing the dress nearly taking it off in the process when I froze in my spot my head hitting the pillow next to him. I let out a small disappointed sigh. Like waking up from a dream I came to my senses registering where I was and most importantly who I was with.

I pulled away from him and my eyes moved rapidly on his face searching for something I wasn't sure what. He was drunk, he wasn't himself. What was I doing? He was probably acting this way because of the alcohol and I was probably the yet another one-night stand and even when I didn't mind that one bit, I couldn't do it. Maybe because he was intoxicated, maybe because part of me was still in love with Eliot and the thought of being with someone else was killing me even though just a minute ago I was moaning mess below Eric.

Eric pulled himself up trying to kiss me and continue what we started, probably unaware of the fact that I hesitated. He didn't get the chance to kiss me because I pushed him once again on the bed. He stilled, his eyes rapidly moving on my face. He finally registered the emotional change. My hand went to his cheek slightly caressing the spot with my thumb feeling the roughness of his growing beared. He was watching me carefully with a little confusion on his face but kept quiet.

I couldn't believe I was doing this. I didn't even know I wanted him like this and he was the one that was drunk not me. But tonight only proved the inevitable.  
"Your drunk" I whispered like I just realized it, sadness filling me for some reason. I didn't know how much of this was what he truly felt and even if I didn't mind being one more of his conquests, I just wanted to be sure what this was. Just one-night stand – something more? I needed to know so I wouldn't get my hopes up. But he was in no condition to tell me and I was too confused to proceed.

"I'm not that drunk" he murmured as he sat up his hands immediately rounding my body pulling me into his. His lips once again moved to my neck leaving small kisses and oh how bad I wanted this to continue. I pulled myself from him before I once again fell into his spell.

"No" I breathed out even though my body was screaming yes. I didn't know how good it felt to be so close to him, to feel his body pressed into mine, the attention he was giving me with his hands and lips. I wanted all of this and I was longing for it but he wasn't himself and I was too confused. Was it him I wanted all I just missed being touched like this?

There was small confusion on his face and his hand when up to my cheek.

"Val, I'm not that drunk" he tried to reassure me but I didn't believe him, he was in a bad shape at the bar, maybe he sobered up a little bit but maybe not enough.

I shook my head caressing his cheek while watching his silvery eyes, now filled with what seemed to be longing.

"Tell you what, if you remember this in the morning and you still want it, come and tell me," I said with a little bit of sadness in my voice. He shook his head in denial and pressed his lips into mine. For a second I once again lost myself into his touch but quickly came to my senses pushing him slightly away from me.  
'Then you'll want me in the morning. Now get some sleep and we'll talk tomorrow if you remember" I suggested. He didn't look happy but I could see the tiredness in his eyes. He must have felt it too because he nodded.

"I'll remember, you'll see" he reassured me but somehow I doubted that. A small part of me was hoping he would remember but there was another part of me that was doubting it strongly.

"I hope so," I said kissing him one more time for what seemed to be the last time. He returned my kiss but this time it was more tender than a hungry one.  
I stood up slowly from him, pushing his body back to the bed. He let himself being pushed, his eyes never leaving mine.

"Sleep tight" I whispered pushing a few locks of hair off of his eyes. He smiled sleepily. I moved my attention to his boots, untieing them like I had done before. Placing them beside his bed I started to pull the covers on top of his body when I felt his hand gripping mine tightly and pulling me into him.

"Stay" he murmured so low that I wasn't sure I heard him right. I shook my head but he pulled me more into him and I was losing my balance. "Come, I don't bite"

I snorted "Yeah, tell that to my neck!" he let out a small laugh but still kept pulling me into him and I was losing the fight, probably because I wanted to lose it.

"Come on, I won't try anything." I was a little bit hesitant and I didn't know what pushed me but I gave in and taking off my own shoes, leaving them on the floor I crawled into bed with him. When I laid next to him a little bit awkwardly he pulled the covers over my body too and I immediately felt the warmth of both the covers and his body.

I turned my back on him a little bit uneasy and unsure why I even agreed to this but it felt nice so I didn't dwell on it long.

I felt his hand going around my small frame as he pulled me more into his warm and hard chest. I couldn't help but relax and smile of the fact how good and right it felt. His face was slightly buried in my neck as his breath evened out. Who would have thought that my day would end up like this? Even more in Eric's bed, fully clothed. Closing my eyes and relaxing, even more, listening to Eric's steady breathing I didn't even understand when I fell asleep.


	22. initiation

**_Pff...the longest one yet. Tell me if these long chapters are too much I'll try my best to shorten them a little bit or make them into two, I don't know._**

 ** _And please don't kill me *hides under a blanket*_**

 ** _Thank you all for reading and the reviews. I love reading your thoughts_**

* * *

I opened my eyes to the unfamiliar room. The sun was shining through the window and onto the bed. I looked around, remembering the night before and a small smile crept on my face when I felt the arm around my small frame, that was holding me tightly. I didn't know what time it was for sure but Eric was still asleep behind me, his even breath was still tickling my neck. I slowly turned around, trying not to wake him up, because I knew first-hand how lightly he slept and he was always ready to jump and kill.

But as I turned around he didn't wake up nor did he give any indication he was awake. Only the hand around my body tightened in a stronger grip, pulling me more to his chest as if he was afraid, even in his deep sleep, that I would run away. Even though that was exactly what I was going to do.

I couldn't help the feeling of warmth that spread on my chest and it had nothing to do with the covers on top of me. It was strange how I haven't felt that warmth in a long time and at the same time not so long.

My eyes lingered on Eric's relax face and I couldn't keep a smile. The sun was ghostly touching his face, making his hair look even more blonde than it was and I had no doubt that even his eyes would look more stunning in this light.

I had the strange urge to snuggle close to him and fall asleep again because I didn't want to leave the warmth of his body and how safe it made me feel. But something on the back of my mind was telling me that I couldn't risk it. After all, he might not remember anything and that would just be very awkward.

My hand slowly went toward his face brushing off the stray hairs that were on his face and I let my hand continue its journey up, entwining my fingers in his soft hair, even his buzzed side was soft.

I let out a small sigh. What was I doing? I couldn't let myself fall. I would only end up broken. One thing I knew with Eric, that it was better if you didn't expect anything, that way you weren't disappointed. I knew it was stupid to hope for him to remember, but at the same time, I knew better.

He must have felt my hand because he snuggled into his pillow making me freeze. Once I got away with it, why was I pushing my luck now?

I waited a couple of minutes, making sure he was once again sound asleep before I collected all my courage into doing what I wanted to do.

I close the gap between us, ghostly touching his lips with mine. I didn't push it, even when I wanted to. I didn't want him waking up and flipping his shit because I kissed him while he slept. But that didn't stop me to enjoy the feeling of his lips like it was the last time I was kissing him.

I slowly started to stir out of his embrace, slowly sliding off of the bed and out of his grasp. For a second I considered staying but then again, what if he didn't remember? It was a little bit chilly without the covers and Eric's body pressed to mine and it took me everything not to go back and snuggle next to him.

I looked back at sleeping Eric, who didn't seem to be registering my absence. His hand was lying on the now empty spot beside him.

I suddenly felt like one of his one-night stands that leave his apartment with messy hair and wrinkled dress. For some reason, I felt used even though we didn't do anything. Besides how many girls could say that they didn't have sex with him and just slept, fully clothed?

A small triumph smile appeared on my face and even though I picked up my shoes and started sneaking out like probably most girls did, I knew I was an exception.

I picked up his keys which were on his floor by the door for some reason. I rekt my mind but I couldn't remember them falling yesterday.

I sneaked out of his apartment and went directly into mine, happy of the fact that no one lived on this floor, beside us.

I showered quickly and dress in something more comfortable than a dress. I tried my best to cover up the barely visible but still visible marks on my neck from Eric. I didn't want to explain how did they appear. Eliot's dog tag around my neck, even if the most times it was behind my shirts, I still wore it. It made me feel like he was still close, here even.

Picking up a few books I started to mix the famous hangover elixir. Figured Eric would need some since he had a lot to drink. After mixing the ingredients quickly, I made my way back to Eric's apartment and into his bedroom. He didn't move since last time I was here.

I quietly placed the cup on his nightstand with a note "Drink me, I cure hangovers" and his keys next to them. As quietly and quickly as I came I went out and started walking toward breakfast.

The dining area was full as usual during this time of the day. Grabbing a muffin and coffee I sat down at my somewhat usual table. Everyone from the group was there beside Shauna and Zeke. They probably were still sleeping.

"Hey, where did you disappeared last night?" asked Tris the moment I sat down. Four threw me a strange look like he knew something that I didn't.

"Oh, I went to the bar and then I was ordered by Max" I took a sip from my coffee watching carefully how the questions bubbled on Tris's face.

"What would he possibly need at a party?" Christina hurried to ask before Tris had the chance.

"He wanted me to bring Eric to his apartment"

They eyebrows rose in a surprise but what caught my attention was Four's reaction. He didn't look surprised he looked suspicious.

"Is that your excuse?" he suddenly asked, catching my attention.

"Excuse me!"

"Cut the crap Val, I saw you on the cameras leaving his apartment this morning, wearing the same dress as the night before" I forgot he was working in the control room. Not that bothered me at all. So what if he saw me? My face staid natural. Even if I tried to deny it or tell them what actually happened no one would believe me. Some of the people on the table gasped.

"I knew it!" almost screamed Christina.

"Is it true?" asked Tris with confusion on her face, even though her eyes showed that she was hoping it wasn't. Why was it so bad for them?

"Yes," I only said, because it was true. I did leave his apartment this morning but not for the same reason they thought.

"Unbelievable. I told you to stay away from him" his eyes were piercing at me like he was trying to tell more than his words did. But I didn't need a babysitter and for once I wished I was on Eric's table with Mike's jokes. I looked over my shoulder searching for the trio when my eyes found them. Eric was eating his meal quietly. I could see Mike with his back to me but just from his hands' gestures, I would guess he was telling a story. Jack was nodding from time to time chewing on his breakfast.

"Val!" I heard Four's voice pulling me out of my thought.

"Yeah, what?"

"Why did you sit here?" he asked. I looked at the people that were the first here that were friendly to me when no one else was. I didn't want to lose some of their friendships but at the same time, I didn't feel like I belonged. Some of their faces were apologetic some were normal. I looked back at Four who was looking at me intensely, waiting for me to make my next move.

"I don't know" I stood up, grabbing my half-eaten muffin and cup of coffee and started walking toward Eric's table.

The minute I sat down I felt relieved. Mike's hand went around my shoulder pulling me closer to him. Eric glanced up and I could see his eyes moving to where Mike's hand was and then back at his meal.

"How was the blonde?" I smirked at Mike, wiggling my brows like he did the night before.

He laughed. "Screamer"

Jack hissed in front of him, his whole body shuddering with what I could only describe as disgust. I let out a laugh. "It's not funny" he shook his head.

"No, but your reaction is"

"So how's your head?" I asked Eric, who looked deep into thought. His head slowly looked up from his meal.

"Could be worst. The thing you left me did the trick"

"Good," I said a little bit awkwardly. I took a bite of my muffin searching for a way to ask him if he by any chance remembered. I did tell him to say something if he remembered but he was silent now.

Flashes of the night before invaded my mind. Looking at him now it all seemed like a crazy dream. He acted so casual like he didn't remember or he didn't want his friends to know what happened.

"So…do you remember anything?" I finally had the courage to ask him. Mike looked confused as his eyes started to shift between me and Eric. Eric's eyes locked on mine and I didn't notice how I was holding my breath waiting for him to either disappoint me or make me happy. He took his time before he responded and every minute he stood silent I was getting more and more impatient.

"No" he answered finally.

Disappointment washed over my body as I registered what he said. All of the things yesterday from the things he said to the things he did were gone, like nothing happened. And when he didn't remember who was going to convince me that this wasn't just some crazy dream? I slowed the lump that was in my throat. I hated my body's reaction but my face stayed natural.

Eric's eyes never left mine. He was watching me closely like he was trying to figure something out. His eyes were shifting on my face and I hoped he couldn't see the hickeys he left on my neck because that would be dead give away. Maybe he was searching for what he was supposed to remember but I didn't give anything away. I hated the fact that I felt disappointment. I knew very well not to expect things from him and here I was believing him yesterday when he told me he would remember.

"Nothing?" I asked raising my brow. I could see Jack and Mike's eyes moving between me and Eric probably catching the slight tension in the air. Eric's eyes never left mine, his emotions hidden behind his mask making it hard even for me to see through it.

"Nothing," he said again. Mike's head shot right at Eric his expression was questionable. For the first time like forever Eric moved his attention from me to Mike, shooting him with a warning look. The silent conversation between them was visible but I couldn't understand a thing.

I took a sip of my coffee trying my best to hide the true feelings that were threatening to surface. Come on! I can do better! Don't let him see what you truly feel. I gave myself a pep talk and lowered my cup. Mikes arm around me tightened in a more protective manner before I looked up at Eric. His eyes were lingering on my face, studying me closely.

"Do I need to know something?" He broke the silence and I was ready to scream at him and tell him everything that went through yesterday but my expression was normal even though I was screaming internally. His pierce brow rose questionably. Get your shit together! I murmured to myself and forced a smile on my face.

"Apparently drunk Eric is more likely to give compliments than the normal Eric," I said finally breaking the tension between us. Mike burst out laughing next to me.

"No way!" he almost yelled. Eric's expression didn't change but I could see he wasn't very amused. "What did he say?"

"Well apparently my legs were long with the heels I wore" I sneakered.

"They were, sweetheart and believe me I would do everything to have them wrapped around me" he winged his eyebrows at me. I laughed slightly glancing quickly at Eric who previous night got that chance. He was watching us closely and I could barely see his jaw clenched. But he was still very much a mystery to me I didn't think much of it.

"Ahh…did you forget you're in the friendzone?"

Jack snorted beside Eric shaking his head.

"Just fuck already, stop with the stupid games," he said beneath his breath. Mike shot him a disapproving look.

"What's the fun in that? Besides it's always fun chasing your pray" he said playfully poking at me.

"Do I need to know something about last night?" suddenly asked Eric interrupting the jokes. He was watching me intensely like he was daring me to spill my secrets and for a second I thought he remembered and now was trying to get me to tell him but I wasn't sure.

"No, you were very drunk. Max ordered for me to take you home. You complimented me on the way to your apartment…" Mike snickered beside me. " I put you to bed and made the thing for your hangover and that was it" I shrugged.

"Just that?" he asked, kind of surprised and I pulled everything I had to stay with natural expression and look believable.

"Yep, what else?" I asked him daringly just in case he was pretending. He only shrugged breaking the eye contact.

"I don't know, I guess I expected to tell you more than the stupid compliments. You know more outrageous things and stupid" he said casually shrugging. Mike was once again glancing at us trying to pick up what was happening here. I myself wasn't sure what was happening.

It felt like Eric was trying to get me to talk but I wasn't sure if he remembered or not. At the same time, I was trying to push him to talk just to see if he remembered or not. But both of us stared at each other, masks on and neither of us said more than what the other might need.

"Nope, you were pretty much goner" I shrugged. Jack was too picking up on the strange vibe as he glanced at Mike. Eric and I stood like that for what seemed to ages, staring at each other, daring the other but neither of us cracked.

Finally, Eric shrugged "Okay" and continue like nothing happened.

The rest of the breakfast was silent but I preferred it than the awkward silence on Chris's table.

"The initiates are coming on Monday" said Eric after a long silence. His eyes landed on mine. "I need you to wait for them with Four." I frowned at him not happy at all.

"Where would you be?"

"He's usually on the top of the building waiting for them to jump off of the train and be the first to scare them before they come." Explained Mike and my eyes widened.

"I want to do that! Can I be with you?" I asked witch suddenly sounded more girly than I anticipated.

"No, you'll be with Four. Scaring them when they drop off of the net" he finally smiled wickedly.

"Not fair, I don't want to be with stupid Four!"

Mike laughed beside me shaking his head.

"You have to appreciate her hatred for him."

"I am" smirked Eric and just like that the mood on the table was lighter.

"So what do you think this year would bring us?" asked Jack no one in particular but for some reason, the question sounded more for Eric than anyone.

"Usual, Erudite and Condor."

"Bet there is going to be at least one Abnigation" spoke Mike.

"They're so rare?" I join in the conversation.

Mike was the first to answer my question "Yep because they have minimum chances of getting through initiation"

"And somehow two of them got in" murmured Eric so quietly but I heard him instantly turning my attention to him.

"Okay, Tris is one, but who is the other?" I asked. Eric's head rose up to meet my eyes as he had a dark smirk on his face.

"Your beloved Four"

I laughed. "So two Abnegations together?"

"Stiffs, sweetheart. We use the term Stiff" corrected me, Mike.

"So Erudite are noses. Abnegation are Stiffs. What are Amity?"

"Banjo strumming softies," said Eric quickly and right after him, Jack answered with.

"Hippies"

"What about Condor?"

Eric shrugged seemingly amused by my enthusiasm to know this. "Smart-mouths?" he shrugged probably unsure how to answer it. "There is your lesson, Val. During initiation, they don't have names. You use the names of their previous factions" said Eric using his mentor voice.

"Noted. But what do they call us?"

"Hellions" answered Mike.

"or...adrenalin junkies" pointed out Jack. I had to laugh at the stupid names but I definitely saw myself using them just to piss off the initiates. It was all jokes and laughter before Max made his appearance on the table calling for Eric and me for a meeting.

"Go, I have to get to the wall anyways," said sadly Mike as he too rose up with us.

"Don't get hit by banjoes" I snickered beside him.

"Look at you picking up fast" he encouraged me like I was a small child.

"What can I say I have a good teacher" I smirked starting to walk behind Eric. I heard Mike laugh behind me but we were already too far away for him to say more.

* * *

Monday came faster than I expected. During the weekends I spent a lot of times with the girls catching up, even though the mood was kind of uneasy because they still thought I slept with Eric. But for my happiness, they didn't mention it even once. I had to admit that it was nice having some girls time with them, something I didn't think I would need.

For some reason, I was excited about the initiation and to see from which faction they would come and how would they do, during initiation.

Yesterday Eric sat me down telling me more about the process of initiation, the three stages, how they worked. Even though I passed all of them I still needed to know the process as the trainee and leader in training, not as the initiate.

"Listen, put your mask on and make them fear you" advised me Eric like a true mentor as we made our way through the compound, which was buzzing with anticipation from the upcoming initiates. "Don't show in any kind of way that they triggered something. They'll see it and use it. They don't know their place yet so they'll test your authority. Your job is too put them in their place and to know that you are a higher rank than they are." His voice was cold and commanding. Some might get scared of this voice I was fascinated by it. He surely knew how to show power and even though he knew it wasn't necessary to show it to me that was just how he worked.

"They need to know that you can do pretty much anything, from beating them up to throwing them off the Chasm and even though the last one might get you in trouble. Depends on the situation. They don't know that you have to make it believable" I was walking beside him as he was talking, sometimes he would throw me a quick glance making sure I heard everything I would nod and he would continue. "We don't need cowards it's very easy to identify them among the others. Those people usually leave. We train them to be soldiers and whoever is not fit - leaves, understood?" quick glance, I nod.

"I'm sure you wouldn't have a problem with them, after all, I'm your mentor," he said it with what seemed to be pride in his voice but I knew he wouldn't admit it so I didn't push it.

"Can I use one of your tactics" I smirked mischievously. He threw me once again a quick glance before his eyes turned toward the hall before us but I could see the ends of his mouth turning up. Yep, definitely pride.

"If you don't use it, who will?" he finally said and I couldn't be happier than I was. I mentally saw myself hanging an initiate above the Chasm.

Suddenly Four came out from nowhere and stood in front of us making us stop. His hands were crossed on his chest and he looked pissed. Tris was standing behind him like a scared child hiding behind its parent. She smiled pressing her lips and her blue eyes were apologetic.

"Care to explain?" he asked. I could feel Eric beside me tense up. They were definitely not best buds.

"What do you want number boy!" spat out Eric. My expression was cold one like Eric's but the minute he said that I cracked up, letting out a laugh. Everyone turned toward me with confusion. Eric was throwing daggers at me.

"Number boy?" I laughed "Fuck, how didn't I came up with it? This so good!" I kept laughing. Eric was barely trying to hide the smile that was threatening to show on his face. While Four and Tris looked like they were going to murder me.

"You have my permission for that one too," said Eric with amusement in his voice making sure only I understood what he was talking about. Apparently being Eric's mentee had more benefits than reputation. Now I can use his tactics and nicknames for Four.

"Please tell me you have another one like this" I barely calmed down brushing off the tears that escaped my eyes.

"Nope, but if you ever come up with something let me know" I snorted beside him.

"Are you two done?" Four sounded more pissed than before, like he was ready to kick both of our asses. I had to think if he could take both us alone but my train of thoughts was stopped the moment Four spoke again. "Are you serious about the fact that Valeria will oversee my training?" he asked Eric his voice raised. The amusement from Eric's face was gone and it was once again replaced by his mask.

"That's the order. You have a problem with it?" he asked but the question was rhetorical.

"Yes, I have a problem with it. I don't need someone to oversee my training" he argued but Eric was having none of it. He actually looked bored with the conversation.

"Actually you do." I joined in. Four threw me a murderous look but I didn't budge, my face emotionless. He looked at me and then at Eric and back. Finally, he shook his head.

"Look at you two, like match made in hell"

"Are you done Four?" asked impatiently Eric.

"No, I'm not done. I don't want her overseeing my training"

"Do you prefer me or her?"

"Actually, neither. Both of you are awful"

Eric let out a frustrated sigh before he spoke "Well, I suggest you deal with it because she is your leader in training and as such, she needs to learn her job overseeing the people who are lower than her in order for her to know if they do their jobs properly"

I was so close to yelling at Four "HA!" in his face but I held myself. Four shook his head silently.

"Are you done here? Because I need to get to the roof and both of you need to be at the net" spoke finally Eric with so much authority in his voice. Four stood silent for a minute before he took a step to the side making space for Eric, who glanced at me with his mentor look that I knew all too well. I nodded understanding the silent "What I told you before" before he continued toward the roof. Four looked at me like he was ready to ask me something and I rose my brow at him daring him to ask.

"So, you two are a thing now?"

I scoffed "None of, your business!" I passed by him and Tris, and I started walking toward the net. He was pissing me off so much. But the trick was not to show it. I could only guess that the initiates would be just like him, but they at least would be easier to scare.

I was standing barely hidden in the shadows with Lauren next to me and a couple more people eager to see the new initiates. Four was standing tall next to the net watching something before him, occasionally he would look at his watch on his hand or look up through the hole in the roof where the net was laying below it. I couldn't help but relive my jump here.

Everything back then was new and somehow scary, now it was familiar. Eric was intimidating - now not that much. I feared a little bit of what was to come and how I would fit in here. I wondered if all the initiates that were about to step into or more like jump into this world were feeling the same thing as me when I entered it. Of course I had more in my mind than them, but still. New faction-new life.

"So they were today at their Choosing ceremony. The one with the bowls and the ritual that you have to cut your hand and drop the blood into a bowl?" I asked a totally obvious question.

Lauren next to me was kind enough to answer all of my stupid questions so far, that seemed to be not asked because I didn't know the answer but because I needed to make sure I had everything right.

"Yep, then they run toward the tracks like you did. Jump on the train –the first test. Then jump off of the train on to the roof- second test, then big bad Eric is waiting for them – the third test" she said and I had to laugh at that.

"What is the test, don't piss yourself?" I asked while laughing. Lauren giggle next to me and that caught Four's attention, who turned toward us interested by the fact that we were laughing. He watched us for a minute before he turned away shaking his head.

"He's going to introduce himself and tell them they need to jump in order to enter. Of course, he'll not tell them that there is a net below." Continue Lauren. I always like her, she seemed like a fun person once you get to know her and in moments like this, it was so normal to see her joke around. "He'll probably answer some stupid questions like 'is there something down dare?'" she imitated a boys voice. "…or 'is there water down there?' Eric, on the other hand, will probably be irritated or smile evilly daring them to jump and see for themselves and that how they would pass their fourth test just before we throw them into initiation where only a few will survive"

I threw her a quick look, barely holding my laughter. "That went darker way too quickly" she only laughed and patted my back.

"I like you, no matter what the others say about you." She whispered leaning closer to me so I could be the only one to hear it. I was kind of surprised, I definitely didn't expect that from here or anyone for that matter "I understand why you act so closed off, the same way I understand Eric when he's closed off. And I'm not going to judge you or push you into telling me stuff, god knows how many times I've tried with Eric and didn't end up well." I almost forgot that they were same year of initiation. They didn't look very close but I could see some mutual civil agreement between them.

"Thank you" I whispered back. Not many people here were like her. Not many people deserved a thank you.

"Look, it's not my job but you and Eric are very much alike and close. It could be clearly seen. And I'm sure that one day you of all people might be the only one that will know him better than anyone else here."

I rose my brow at her "Why are you telling me this?"

"Because I think it's true." She shrugged. "There's nothing bad in that, Eric needs someone in his life beside the stupid girls he wastes his time with and I think that that person is you" she looked at me. I couldn't say how much for some reason I wanted those words to be true, but I doubted that would ever happen. After all the one chance I had and he didn't remember anything about it.

"I doubt it"

She smiled softly before speaking again "Give him some time, he'll come around." I wanted to believe her because everything that came out of her mouth sounded so believable. After all, she was the one that knew Eric the longest and even though they didn't speak too much they still were somewhat friends. My hand went around the dog tag on my neck, my fingers touching the edges and the metal fether beside it.

I didn't have the chance to speak again. Four looked at his clock and said "Here we go!" just as he said it the sound of the passing train echoed through the empty cave-like corridors. Four had his head up glaring at the top of the building waiting for the first initiate.

"Who bets on what color will be the first jumper?" said a man behind me.

"Pf…I bet 50 on Erudite" said another one.

"I bet 100 points on Condor." Said another one.

"200 points on Erudite" I heard a third voice. I had to laugh at their enthusiasm to bet on people. Lauren nudged me with her elbow.

"Dare to bet?"

I smirked at her. I thought about it for a second. What were the chances of Amity or Abnegation joining in and what were the chances of them jumping first? The people here didn't even consider them and jump right at the most obvious ones which were Erudite and Condor. In my opinion to wait for a person who stuck his nose in a book to jump first off of the roof was outrageous, but still not impossible. The same for Condor. Dauntless-born were familiar with the danger, but still, some might not be brave enough to jump into the unknown. So what would push Amity to jump or Abnegation in that matter? Probably a way to show that they belong here as much as the others because they are underestimated?

"I bet 100 on Dauntless," said another one.

I didn't think about it too much before I blurred out. "100 points on Amity"

Lauren looked at me with shock in her eyes as the men behind me burst out laughing.

"You still got a lot to learn girl, it's very rare for Amity to transfer here never the less jumping first," said one of them. I didn't turn around and I didn't need to justify myself. They were stupid and not thinking rationally. I would gladly rub it in their faces when I win.

Four threw me a quick look of disapproval but I ignored him. I was confident with my bet and my somewhat mathematical solution.

Suddenly Four looked up just when the scream of the first, was heard falling down through the hole. Everyone including me was on edge to see what color his clothes were but the light coming from the hole was too bright to see. Four pulled down the net and reached out immediately freezing on his spot.

"Unbelievable" he murmured just when he pulled a short boy dressed in orange clothes. There was a moment of silence before I burst out laughing turning toward the men behind me.

"Pay up fuckers!" I yelled at them. All four of them had to pick up their jaws off of the floor as they watched the boy in disbelieve. Lauren was laughing so hard next to me, shaking her head with disbelieve.

"I don't know how you did it, but you're good," she said between laughter.

Turning around I could see the scared expression on the boy's face when he looked at us. Four murmured something at him before the boy said his name.

"First jumper Fin!" yelled Four immediately followed by our shouts and claps. "Welcome to Dauntless" he welcomed him before the boy took a couple of uneasy steps away from the net. He looked so scared and out of place that I kind of felt sorry for him. Soon after another scream was heard and another body hitting the net. The initiates came falling down one by one saying their names but by the second one, I already didn't pay attention. As all of the people here thought there were most Condor and Erudite transfers and two Amity.

Their whole number was fourteen meaning, six girls, and eight boys. The others that were Dauntless-born were twelve. Which was not that bad. After every one of them was down the roof and on their feet I was able to get a better look at them.

Their hungry eyes looked everywhere around them, mopping everything they see, just like me when I came here for the first time. I could see the uneasiness in their eyes and the way they moved their weight from one foot to the other. How they looked at Four like he was going to crush them like twigs, at least some they were watching him like this. Some were watching him like they could do better than that or they could crush him like a twig. I immediately understood that those were the kids that I would have a problem with. They would be the ones to open their moths and test your patients and in the end, they would be the ones that would probably end up hanging from the railing above the Chasm.

Last but not least, fell on the net, Eric who didn't need help from Four as he jumped down. The thud from his heavy boot on the stone floor echoed through the corridors. Some of the initiates didn't even dare to look his way, some were stupid enough to look him straight in the eyes.

With one quick glance at the room, he saw where I was standing and spoke nodding at one of the corridors.

"Val!"

"I expect my points to be on my account by the end of the day" I turned toward the men behind me and strolled confidently passing the initiates and going after Eric.

He was silent for a few minutes before he threw me aside glance "You won the bet didn't you?" I could barely see the smirk raising on the end of his lips.

"Oh yes!"

"How did you know it was going to be Amity?"

I shrugged "I'm guessing my Erudite brain" he smirked back at me before we continued toward what seemed to be Max's office.

We were the first ones to enter Max's office. Eric and I sat down waiting for the others to join us.

"How are the initiates?" asked Max without looking up from the files in front of him.

"Bad as usual," said Eric with boredom in his voice.

"Well, I'm sure you'll get them in line. And with Valeria overseeing Four's training, you could go watch Lauren and I'm sure that this initiates will be on top"

"Yeah, if Four wasn't such a dick about it" I murmured under my breath. For the first time Max looked up from his work and his eyes locked on mine. For a second I thought I said something I shouldn't have.

"I knew that he'll have a problem with this. But I'm not backing out of my order. It will be a good experience for you and better the initiates. Now Eric won't be split between the transfers and the Dauntless-born. But still, you need to oversee her progress" this time he turned toward Eric, pointing him with his pen.

"Of course" Eric only said before the door opened and Monic and Harrison entered. They silently sat down and the meeting began.

Max's started talking, clearly unhappy about the factionless problem. It seemed that the factionless sightings were increasing, not particularly with violence mostly with stealing but still, sometimes they used force and the people were scared.

"They have weapons, how long before they start to kill for food?" spoke Monic with worry. The situation was getting hectic and we didn't know what to do. We didn't know where they were hiding.

"How did they obtain the weapons?" I suddenly asked.

"Stealing from our guards, I guess" shrugged Harrison.

"Do you think that we might have someone smuggling weapons to them?" I was serious and all heads turned toward me.

"We're watching the cameras Val and there is security on every exit. We would have seen them" explained Max. I could tell them a million more ways that I could smuggle a bag of weapons so easily out of the compound and no one would see me but I decided to drop the subject. Max seemed very sure of that and I didn't want to question his authority.

After a short silence, Monic spoke again raising a subject we didn't discuss yet. "We still don't know where their rebellion quarters are"

"I should've followed them when I had the chance," I said under my breath.

Eric who sat quite for the duration of the meeting suddenly yelled making me jump on my seat "And get yourself killed!"

"You don't even know how stealthy I could be. They wouldn't know they were followed. But you didn't use this to our advantage. Instead, you ordered me not to go. If I had followed them, now we wouldn't be having this conversation!" I yelled back at him. The look on his face was murderous, like the last time near the wall. For some reason, he didn't like the idea of me following them and I couldn't explain it.

"Did Eliot put you in jeopardy for the sake of a mission?" my eyes widened in disbelieve.

"You didn't just go there!"

"I'm going there, Val. Tell me, did that ever happened, with him?" he was yelling and everyone in the room was staring wide eyes. No one knew about Eliot. Why would he bring that up? I didn't even know where this anger came from. I stood silent because maybe for the first time, I didn't know what to say to him. Suddenly his hand connected with Max's desk, making a few of the items there jump from the impact but this time I didn't jump nor did I blinked.

"Anwer me!"

"No" I spoke softly and calmly because I knew that this would only rile him up. He needed to yell and be yelled back, when I was calm he would be furious. His jaw clenched and his whole posture was stiff. I made him even more furious and he was holding back from doing something that he would probably regret.

"But sometimes it was necessary and I can be useful now. You're just not thinking rationally. I could be used to our advantage."

"Absolutely not! We're not sending you to some unknown part of town, that is their domain, no matter how quiet you can walk" He wouldn't budge and I was losing. How couldn't he see the facts and take the opportunity that was right in front of him?

I was about to counterstrike him when Max caught my attention and just by the look on his face I understood I had lost. After all, he was the one that gives the orders.

"I'm sorry Val but I've to go with Eric on this one. I'm not risking someone like you to go gather the information. Maybe once we know more about their hideouts but I'm not sending you to search for them" he spoke very calmly and professional. I slouched in my chair clearly unhappy with the way the things turned out.

"I admire your ambition, but we'll not send you to your death. We're brave here not stupid"

"I wasn't going to dive head first. I'll make a plan." I tried to reason again but he shook his head.

"Based on what? We don't have anything. So let me gather the information we need and then we'll talk about it." His eyes were staring at me, warning me to not rebel against him. I nodded, accepting my defeat.

After the meeting, it was already too late for dinner. I didn't wait for Eric I just made my way toward my apartment and I was almost there when I felt a hand on my shoulder.

"Come on, let's cook something," he said and if I didn't saw him all raged up a few minutes ago I would have thought he was the calmest person ever. Before I knew it I was pulled into his apartment and being too tired and hungry I didn't protest.


	23. Wounded

**_*drops it here and runs away*_**  
 ** _Thank you all for reading and reviewing! ^^_**

* * *

I sat down at the leader's table. I felt like I have a split personality or something. I could fit in every one of the groups here and at the same time not. I didn't see Mike and Jack were sitting with other people and I didn't know him that much nor did I ever spoke to him with more than one sentence, to sit with him.

Monic was eating her scrambled eggs and bacon. While Harrison was very deep into thought, mindlessly drinking his coffee, his eyes were empty stuck on something on the table. None of the spoke. I felt awkward.

"How are you feeling, the first day with the initials and all?" broke the silence Monic, her eyes now on me instead of her breakfast.

"Ready to teach and scare the shit out of them"

"Said like true Eric, except for the teaching part," she said slightly giggling. I couldn't help but laugh myself. "Hey, don't let them get to you. But somehow I doubt that you will" she winked at me before she continued eating.

I was taking a sip of my coffee when the door to the dining area burst open with a loud bang and very angry Eric walking down the tables.

"Oh boy!" I said my heart clenched in my chest and I was praying that this fury wasn't meant for me. For my relief, he stopped on the table where my other group was sitting with the instance. Eric slammed his hands on the table death glaring Four. "Oh boy!" I repeated.

That seemed to pull out Harrison from his thought, who turned his head toward the sound of yelling. Monic beside me was watching with wide eyes. She wasn't the only one. Most of the people here, including the initiates were having the same expressions.

"You talked to Max!" Eric yelled so loud that it felt like he was on our table. They were just a few tables away and I could still hear Four's reply even though it was not that clear as Eric.

"I had to," he said very calmly but I could see that he was angry too.

"You had to!" echoed Eric. "You just couldn't shut up about it! Did you really think that he would be up for it and have it your way?! He was the one to give the order Four!" by the end of his speech he wasn't yelling anymore he was smiling. The smile on his face though wasn't a happy or genuine one, it was more of a sadistic.  
"I've never seen him like this" whispered Monic at me. I frowned a little bit, turning my head toward her.

"Have you met him?" I pointed at Eric. Because this was the Eric I knew, maybe not all of Eric was this but still most of the part.

"No, I mean riled up about something. He's very set on for you to be a leader. And the thing yesterday where you two had a huge yelling fight…" she shook her head, her eyes toward Eric. "…he never had a mentee before, probably you got under his skin and now he's pushing you to do better. " she shrugged before continuing "I don't know. I've never seen him like yesterday though. He was dead set on not letting you go"

I shrugged "I don't see anything unusual. "

"Maybe it's just me," she said finally maybe giving up on the conversation. My eyes fell on the two nemeses that were still standing close to each other both of them having an intense staring contest.

"I got the point, Eric, just tell her not to interfere too much"

"Right here Four, I can hear you!" I yelled catching not only his attention but everyone's in the room. Those people here were hungry for gossip. The minute something more interesting than today's chocolate cake, happens they all stop what they were doing and watch the show.  
Eric for the first time since he came in looked away from Four and his silvery eyes landed on me. They didn't stay with me for long before his attention once again fell on Four.

"She'll interfere as much as she needs to and I'm trusting her to do so when she feels the need to. " said with low voice Eric. He boosted himself off the table and started walking toward us. He didn't let Four respond not like he wanted to anyways.

Eric slushed on the spot next to me. Before I know it his hand reached out and took a piece of my donut throwing it into his mouth.

"Hey!"

"I want you to make his life living hell today, do you hear me?" he whispered in my ear, his eyes locked on Four's back. A couple of the people on the table were looking at us probably picking up what was happening. The initiates were looking like scared rabbits. Throwing quick glances our way too, but their eyes didn't stick too scared that the wrath of Eric might fell on them too.

"Yep, what's his problem anyway?"

"I think it's because you came after him and you're now going to be a leader. You know, a higher rank than him." Eric explained while continued to take small pieces of my donut.

"Then why he's not a leader?" Eric just shrugged. It was strange. I kept watching Four's back like he was going to tell me the answers to all my questions but I could see was his back and the tattoo on his neck.

I didn't notice Eric's hand reaching one more time, taking a small piece. I looked at him with a murderous look.

"Go before you eat my breakfast and I have to kill you". He didn't budge nor did he said something. His hand once again extended to my plate, his fingers barely touched the donut before mine brushed his off of it.

"No"

"Come on, I'll get you another one" His shoulder was rubbing off mine. So close that I could feel the warmth of his body spreading through mine. His hand once again threatened to grab a piece out of my donut before I brushed it off again.

"Then it's not a problem grabbing one for yourself and leaving mine!" I protested trying to shoo him off but he was stubborn. Both of us didn't register the fact that we were in the middle of the dining area with clearly visible smiles on our faces, fight over a donut.

"Yeah, but I have to stand up and get it" I once again brushed off his hand before he gave up clearly irritated. "Okay then, after training I want you to move all of the file's information about the initials on the computer!"

I groaned pushing the plate with the donut in front of him. "Jackass!" I murmured before standing up. He let out a triumph laugh, which was unusual for him to do in front of others but it seemed that no one beside Monic and Harrison saw the bickering between us.

I was leaning up against the wall just like Eric once did, my hands were in front of my chest. My expression was cold and strict as my eyes were scanning the nervous initiates lined up in a row in front of Four. He was confidently walking past them, with his hands on his back, looking more strict than he actually was, eyes following him as he spoke about their training and what was to come.

I was ready to see their skills and make them better. Excitement filled me as I thought about me teaching them the things I knew.

"What, some of us won't even make it?" a squeaky voice came from the row, pulling me out of my thoughts as my eyes landed on a blonde girl somewhere in the middle. Four stopped talking his attention was now directed at the girl. She understood her mistake the moment she saw that both of us were looking at her and the bravery that she once had in her voice and expression quickly faded. She shifted her weight from one foot to the other, her head down looking at her feet.

I was ready for this kind of question, Eric warned me. She wasn't the only one with concern expression on her face but no one besides her spoke. The other stood quietly as if they knew not to interrupt.

Before Four could answer her question my voice echoed through the training room. "Why?" I asked all eyes were on me the moment I spoke. "You think you can't make it?"

"No-o… I-I-I just…" she started to stutter. Pathetic. At least when you speak your mind, defend yourself when someone opposes or question it. The girl next to her quickly started talking getting the attention on her and not on her friend.

"It would have been better if we knew before we choose" Similar to what Christina once said to Four and Eric and that got her in a lot of trouble. Of course, I was ready for that kind of reply too. But I couldn't stop thinking how pathetic that looked and I was growing angry. I wouldn't have reacted like this. Sure I would be pissed because there were limited spots and by the end of it I might end up factionless but I would never speak like this - show cowardice. The fact that there were limited spots would only make me more ambitious to fight for my spot but not those girls. I see on some of the boys faces –the determination to be on those spots, maybe on some of the girls too. But the two girls in front of me - I saw insecurity and doubt. Doubt that they chose the right faction.

"Why, would have you chose differently, out of fear. Maybe stay in Erudite, where is safe behind the books?" I mocked her.

Her face hardened and I almost smiled. "No" There were the spirit and the fire. I couldn't say the same for the blonde, though.

"If you don't think you can do it and make it here and if you're not willing to fight for a spot here, then leave now" I spoke casually. Silence filled the room. The initiates started to shift their eyes among each other searching for the one person that might break and leave. I half expected someone to do it and I was a little surprised when no one moved.

I smiled mockingly "No one?" They didn't dare move nor look at me when I asked. Some of them with heads down looking at their feet like scolded children, some stood tall with head raised high and eyes locked somewhere in front of them. So easy to see who could make it and who would fail just from looking at them now.  
"You'll be doing us a favor if you just give up, that way it will be easier for us to rule out the cowards among the brave"

I got angry looks thrown my way at my speech and I knew I succeeded in making them maybe a little bit more ambitious than they were before they stepped here. My eyes locked on a boy who was throwing daggers at me. He was Condor if I wasn't mistaken. His brown hair was all over the place but his eyes were strict. He was one of the few with his head raised high. And oh boy, he was angry but that was what I wanted to see in their eyes – anger. Because anger was going to push them to prove themselves.

I waited a little bit more and when I saw that no one was going to speak I waved my hand at Four. "Cary on, then!" He threw me a quick look unhappy at the fact that I gave him an order but said nothing to me, instead he continued with his lecture.

Soon the room was filled with the sound of fists connecting with the punching bags. Four was walking behind them stopping here and there, murmuring something to someone before he would start walking confidently again.

I didn't like the way he teaches. In my opinion, letting them punch a bag for half a day, won't tell me what they lacked and what they didn't.

Sure I could see some hard punches here and there but I could see sloppy punches, that looked more like slaps, too. That didn't tell me shit. I would make them fight each other, even if it was their first day.

That what would Eric do and somehow Eliot too. After all, Eliot was the one that showed me the basics and then threw me into a fight with him. He saw where I lacked and I lacked a lot. From there he started to teach me and show me. It was hard for my first day of training, he basically used me as a punching bag and I was in very bad shape at the end of the day but that worked in my and his favor when he saw what he needed to work with.

I had no doubt that Eric would do the same. The only exception being that he wouldn't show the basics first or if he did he would probably show them just once and throw you at the wolves.

When I looked at it that way both of their techniques seemed similar even though both of them were so different, like the two sides of a coin.

Suddenly the door to the training room burst open, pulling me out my thoughts. I didn't have to turn toward the quick and heavy steps to know who just enter. The looks that the initiates were throwing in that direction told me everything.

"Why did you stop?" his voice rumbled through the training room as the sound of the punches started again. Shortly after I felt his body leaning on the wall next to mine and the smell of his cologne invaded my mind. I took a deep quiet breath through my nose praying that it wasn't too obvious what I just did.

"How are they?" I felt his breath on my ear and my body reacted quickly with a shiver.

I waved my hand at them. "Hopeless" I murmured with annoyance in my voice. I was very close to yelling at them to stop and fight each other. The question here was, why haven't I done it yet?

"You wait for Four to do something?" there was a hint of a dare somewhere in his voice and I had to turn my eyes off of the initiates to him just to make sure. His silver eyes were looking at me like he was expecting something of me. I knew very well what he wanted and with a small smile on my face I yelled:

"Everyone stop!"

Suddenly the whole room fell silent as every set of eyes were on me including Four's, who was throwing me questionable looks as if not to interfere.

"Pair up and fight each other!"

They stood dead in their places like dears caught in headlights, no one even dared to move a muscle and if I wasn't so pissed I might be amused by their expressions. Eric for sure was and I knew he could just as easily make them do things but he stood silently giving me the opportunity to take care of them by myself.

"What are you looking at, move!" I said sharply. The minute I said it they all scattered like ants pairing up with their buddies and friends. They started to throw more sloppy punches as if they were scared they might hurt their opponent.

Eric grew inpatient "What are you doing?" that made them hesitate for a bit "Are you throwing a punch or are you shooing flies?" that pushed them to do better. My eyes were now shifting between the bodies, happy of the fact that now I was able to see more than with the stupid bags.

Four strolled toward us, an irritated expression on his face.

"What do you think you're doing?" he asked no one in particular, his eyes shifting to me and Eric.

"Doing your job apparently" answered Eric with smugness on his face.

"What do you think you can accomplish my them fighting on their first day?"

"Maybe see what level they are" I answered my eyes glued to the initiates but I could see Four clearly with my side glance and he was not amused.

"Go help them Four, that's your job isn't it?" Dismissed him, Eric, before he leaned toward me and whispered. "See that guy?" he was pointing at the brown haired boy that was looking at me angrily earlier. I nodded.

"This is your number one"

I shook my head, which caught Eric's attention. "What, you don't think so?"

"No, he'll be a troublemaker. Probably stick at number one until he's so smug about it that someone would push him off. Probably that guy" I pointed at another boy. Eric looked at me with slight surprise on his face before that turned into mischievousness.

"Whant to bet?"

I narrowed my eyes at him "Yeah, you do know what happened with my last bet"

"I'll take the chance" he smirked back at me. Both of us totally oblivious to the fact that Four was still standing next to us watching the initiates before he started to walk among the pairs and correct them.

"Fine, your loss"

"Okay if I win…" he started before I stopped him.

"Wait, wait… until the end of stage one" I pointed out the rule.

He nodded before continuing "If I win you will tattoo anything I want on a place I choose" he said smugly. It was a big risk being with the devil but I felt like the only way to win was to take that risk even though it was hard to outsmart him.

"Fine. But if I win I get to choose your next tattoo and the spot"

"Deal," he said suddenly, extending his hand for me to shake it and just like that the bet was sealed. "Just don't forget that I was Erudite and I was here before you."

"Yeah yeah" I brushed him off. He couldn't scare me with his brains or his Dauntless knowledge.

"I can see that you took their fear," he said after a long silence of watching the initiates throw punches at each other and Four going form pair to a pair helping them.

"Was that a compliment? Are you drunk?"

He threw me an angry look "Don't flatter yourself"

"Yeah, yeah I don't need to, you're doing a great job. Apparently, you don't need to be drunk to make compliment or praise me"

He narrowed his eyes at me before he averted his gaze. "Or do other things" he murmured under his nose.

"What?!" I almost yelled my head shot right in his direction. For a moment I wasn't sure if I heard him right as my heart started to beat fast and my stomach flipped flopped like crazy. He didn't look at me as if he was pretending to not pay attention or like he was hiding something.

My eyes widened but I was still unsure that I heard him right.

"What did you say?" I pushed him into spilling the truth but when he turned his head to me his face was blank.

"Nothing," he said just like when I asked him if he remembered something. My eyes were shifting on his face searching for even the smallest hint that he was lying but his mask was too good to be broken even by my intense stare.

"Nothing?"

He nodded "Yep, why what did you heard?"

'I heard that you remember' I thought but I averted my gaze to the initiates. I felt like he was playing with me. A small voice in the back of my head was screaming at me that there was something fishy in here, that I needed to dig deeper and I would find that he actually remembers. Another voice was much quieter but as powerful as the first one, which was telling me that I was imagining things and that it was probably nothing.

"Nothing" I murmured.

* * *

A loud knock pulled me out my deep sleep. I lazily opened my eyes letting them focus in the darkness around me. For a second I thought I was imagining things or hearing things when I heard the knock again. I sat up in my bed my eyes glancing at the empty space before me the open balcony showing the living area downstairs. My mind still filled with slumber I couldn't register quick enough that this was actually coming from my front door.

I turned toward the clock showing three o'clock in the morning and I was ready to murder whoever was at the door at this hour. Slowly I made my way toward the door, dragging my legs on the floor. Now I was grumpy and angry.

Some awake part of my brain, one that was more rational, was starting to worry and ask questions about what could possibly be wrong. Maybe something happened with the initiates and they needed someone at the infirmary? It won't be the first time maybe not the last one too. They were training for a few days now so there was no point in them to attack each other, yet.

The rest of my brain was still asleep that couldn't even comprehend the thoughts that were swirling.

My eyes were heavy, screaming at me to just go back to bed and forget about the stupid person on the door but the urgency of the knocks made my legs move forward.

I reached out for the knob, turning it before opening the door. On my doorstep stood Eric. He was leaning slightly with one hand on my door frame but stood tall never the less. All slumber escaped my eyes the minute I saw his face. He was white as chalk, his hair was all messed up and there were bruises forming on his face.

I opened my mouth to say something but he stopped me making a semi-stable step forward into my apartment. Just when he was all inside and the door behind him was shut I saw his legs giving in. My first instinct was to catch him even though I knew I couldn't hold his weight. His arm went around my shoulders for support when I saw that his left hand was clenching his side.

"What the hell happened. Are you shot?" My eyes widened as I felt panic rising in me. I pulled him toward the sofa his massive body dropping on the cushions, a painful moan filling the empty and dark room.

"I hope you know how to get a bullet out because if you don't, I'll have a problem" his voice was raspy as he laid his head on the armrest.

My hands quickly went for the wound on his side which was gushing blood.

"Fuck, Eric! Why are you here and not in the infirmary?" I yelled as my heart started to beat faster in my chest. Out of fear or adrenaline, I didn't know. Maybe it was both. I stood up quickly going for my gray bag searching through it with shaky hands painted in his blood.

"I can't go there. No one has to know" he hissed. I found a small bottle of greenish liquid and brought it to Eric's lips. He drank it without questioning it. There was no time for him to question if he was bleeding out on my couch.

"What do you mean?" I pushed. He was basically dying on my couch but I still asked questions. I needed to know.

"We were on a mission" he groaned shutting his eyes painfully. I felt like I was glued to my spot, standing there watching him as his weak hand was clenching the bullet wound. The liquid would do the thing slowing the bleeding but I knew I have to think quick and move quickly if I wanted him to live. But my legs were not moving and I felt like I entered my fear. He was going to die. I was going to help him but even if I do my best he would die in the end. It always happens like this and I feared that this time it would be just like the others.

A moan pulled me out my shock when his eyes landed on mine. What was I doing? I couldn't let him die. I couldn't let the fear take over and give up. For a second I saw something in his eyes. Doubt, a little bit fear like he was second-guessing his decision that I would help him. That I would leave him to bleed out here.  
Just like that my legs started moving and with shaky hands I grabbed everything I needed to pulled out the bullet.

"Talk" I insisted as I lifted his drenched in blood shirt. "Why wasn't I aware of the mission?"

"It was only me, Max and Harrison. Monic wasn't aware too. It was a quiet mission to find the factionless…" he hissed as I dug through the wound searching for the bullet. A loud groan escaped his lips as he arched his back from the pain.

"Stay still"

"Fuck, that hurts!" I dropped everything I was doing and went in the kitchen grabbing a liqueur out of the cabinet. He once again didn't hesitate when I pushed the bottle in his shaky hand and he took a sip out of the clear liquid. His winced, but not from the pain this time, it was the burning alcohol. "God, I hope you've done this before" he groaned before taking another swing out of the bottle.

"I have, now talk!"

My hands started to work once again trying to pull out the bullet. I didn't know much about anatomy but I was sure that there wasn't anything seriously intact by the bullet so he was good there but still it wouldn't hurt to send him to see a real doctor.

He started talking occasionally groaning or moaning in pain. "Max didn't want to panic the people, so it was just the three of us…" he hissed, shutting his eyes. His whole face now was covered in sweat but he continued "We found a small warehouse, but that's about it" another painful groan.

"Why did you came here, a doctor could do a better job than me?" I was angry and I didn't hide that from him. I was angry at the fact that I was kept in the dark. I was angry that he didn't go to the infirmary. I was angry with him bleeding on my couch and probably dying in the process. I was angry because he was just too stubborn to die so he just might live another day after I finish up with him.

"No one has to know"

I groaned angrily just when I pulled the bullet out. "The cameras?" I asked looking at him before I pulled out the things to patch up the wound.

"You have no idea how hard it's to pretend that I'm not wounded"

I snorted "Yeah, don't mind the fact that you came in my apartment at three o'clock" his body shook with laughter for a second before the pain appeared again making him wince. "Now stay still so I can stitch you up" I hated to sew flesh and gushing wounds. Clothes no problem but wounds were a different thing.

"I'll suggest you go to a doctor to see you" I didn't get an answer for him and for a second I thought he might have fainted from the pain but then I heard the liquid in the bottle slushing telling me he was very much awake and soon to be drunk. "Eric" I called him. I stopped stitching him up for a minute just to look at him. Sweat drops were still covering his chalk-white face, his silver eyes popping up even more when he looked at me.

"No one has to know" he repeated before he once again took a sip of the alcohol.

"Okay but don't count on my expertise, because I can't say much," I said averting my attention back on his wound that was half patched now.

"It's still better than nothing, after all, you've been through wars"

"Yeah, and I had the same stubborn men like you who would brush off a bullet wound so lightly and say something like 'If I live enough to fight another day then your job is done'. Of course, sometimes there were no doctors around so I was the second best thing but still…" I shrugged. "Okay, you're all done," I said as I placed a bandage on the wound.

He let out a small sigh that felt like a sigh of relief. "I need to get to my apartment," he said quietly.

"Oh no. Your not moving from here or the stitches will open and this time I would leave you to bleed"

He moved his eyes from the empty space in front of him to me. "I saw you hesitate" for a second I thought he sounded hurt.

I shook my head starting to clean up the mess I made around me "It wasn't hesitation" I spoke quietly.

"Yeah right. I saw your hesitation when you saw the chance of living me to bleed out."

"It wasn't hesitation" I repeated myself but I didn't look at him. I couldn't look at him. He saw a brief sign of fear and panic in that moment and my pride was too big keeping me from admitting. He stood quite like he was examining my face, searching for the answers. I knew he would get them because I was too tired to hide my emotions behind a mask. A flash of understanding appeared on his face, his eyes slightly widening and I couldn't look at him anymore.

I started to stand up when his bloody hand caught my wrist "I know…" he murmured "You're brave. You did great"

He sounded so genuine that if he didn't drink the half of the bottle, that was still in his hand, I would have believed him. But there was sometimes this small moment that goes away, way too quickly. Where he wouldn't be under the influence of alcohol and he would say something like this. Something that made him so out of character and sound so genuine at the same time and this time was one of those times. I like to think it was one of those because I couldn't handle on more drunken stupor where he would say something that he wouldn't remember.

I nodded at him before pulling the bottle out of his weak hands. "Come on, I have a spear bedroom where you can recover" I pulled him with all of my straight that I had. He could barely hold his own weight when he stepped on his feet.

I half dragged him toward the spare bedroom, helping him get out oh his bloody jacket and shirt before laying him on the soft mattress. No one knows how many times I had done this exact same thing. No one knew how many times he did it for me.

By the time I started to clean his bloody and sweaty face he was already out. Brushing off a locked form his face my fingers trailed down toward the bruises. My heart was aching in my chest. He almost died. My fear didn't happen this time but who knew how many more times I could beat it.

With one hand cupping his cheek I bent down pressing my lips to his forehead before taking a deep breath, supporting my head on his looking at his closed eyes.  
I stood there like this for a minute before I pulled away from him and left the room. I was tired, so tired. When I went back to the leaving area the sun was peaking through the buildings. I stopped there for a second, in front of the big window watching as the sun rose from the horizon. Another day was coming but I couldn't appreciate the view. I sighed and started to clean up but I had no energy left in me to clean up the blood stain on my couch or the carpet beside it.

With barely open eyes I smashed some herbs juicing them up before I leave the glass on the nightstand in the guest room. That would ease his pain when he wakes up and gives him energy.

The blood from my hands was hard to scrub off but I did the best I could before calling it quits and dropping dead on my bed too tired to even think about the new day that just came or wounded Eric sleeping in the bedroom below mine.


	24. The Lie

The next morning I barely sat on the table with Tris, when Max strolled up to us with a stoic expression on his face.

He didn't have to speak for me to understand him. No one should know about their mission and the table was full of initiates and other praying ears. The thing I didn't understand was the keeping it quiet from the others. Maybe Max wasn't sure himself of what to do and how to proceed and that was why he kept it quiet.

Whatever it was, I was still not happy with the fact that they kept me in the dark too. I wasn't just one more soldier in their ranks. I was training to be one of them.  
One look at him was enough to understand his silent question _'Is Eric okay?'_ I nodded so slowly that you had to be watching me if you wanted to catch it. He nodded in return, a slight relief formed on his face or I imagined it since it disappeared as quickly as it showed. With that, he walked forward where Harrison and Monic sat. It seemed that no one except Eric was seriously hurt during this mission. I couldn't see Harrison since he was with his back to me but none of them were visibly hurt. At least not like Eric was. He could barely move in the morning.

Tris looked at me questionably, she probably caught the silent conversation but I only shrugged, moving my attention back to my breakfast. Not that I didn't eat back at the apartment. I had to make breakfast for Eric too who was slightly better than he was yesterday. The things I gave him to drink and apply on the wound did help him a lot but he was still very weak and we couldn't afford anyone seeing him like this. Of course typical Eric fashion he started to protest when I told him to stay put in my apartment and not move too much. He even had the guts to tell me he was fine even though he was struggling to sit up on the bed but I understand his ego was too big to let him surrender with a stupid bullet wound.

"Have you seen Eric, I need to talk to him about the fighting pairings with him?" asked me Four.

 _'Yeah, he's in my spare bedroom resting since he almost died on my couch'_ the sentence was on my tongue but instead, I said: "He left me in charge for today to help you choose the pairings" the looked on his face was full of suspicious. One thing I'd learned about Four, he was always suspicious and him working in the control room only flued that suspicious more.

"Well I need him to look at some papers too" he patted the folders that sat between my plate and his.

"I could take care of them" I quickly said, reaching out to get the folders but his hand connected on top of them stopping me. My eyes shot at him. Was he serious?

"Come on, I could give them to him when I see him. I'm sure that I see him more than you do, so…" I trailed off, my fingers barely touching the end of the folder.

He narrowed his eyes at me. "What's going on Val?"

In this moment I understood that I was slipping, letting his suspiciousness grow just by the way I was acting. I retrieve my hand and looked Four dead in the eyes.

"I'm not his babysitter. For all I know, he probably fucked a girl that he picked up from the bar and now is suffering from a hangover. We'd an agreement yesterday and he thought it will be in my best interest to help you with the pairings."

He stood watching me for a minute a lot of emotions going through his face before he nodded sliding the folder in my direction. "Well said, very well said if you ask me," something in his voice told me more than his words did like he was trying to tell me something only I would understand.

"Wait, you're fine with him screwing someone else?" suddenly asked Christina and all eyes were on me. Hungrily watching and waiting for me to spill my thoughts and secrets. They didn't know much about me or what was happening with me and Eric, so every information for them was like hanging on a plank to escape drowning.

"Um…why should I care?"

"Well you know, because you slept with him?" she reminded me like I could ever forget the most outrageous rumor ever.

"Who said that I slept with him?"

Chris looked like she didn't know how to answer my question. Did I see for the first time ever Christina speechless? " Um..you did"

I shook my head "No, I never said that"

"Of course you did. We were sitting here just the day after"

I let out a forced laughter "I never said that, I only confirmed that I left his apartment on the next day with the same dress I wore as the night before. You were the one jumping to conclusions." She was a little bit taken aback her eyes scanning the people on the table searching for someone to back her up but everyone stood quietly.

"Come on, of course, you said it"

"Cris, for ex-Condor you seem to not listen carefully" she gaped at me which only made me laugh.

Uriah shook his head "She didn't. But why did you left us to think that?"

Christina quickly answered instead of me making even angrier "Why wouldn't she, when she has the bragging rights"

"Careful Chris, you're playing with fire" I warned her the amusement on my face long gone.

"What, you gonna call big bad Eric to defend you?"

I smirked "I don't need Eric to fight my battles I could just as easily slit your throat and watch you bleed out. Might actually call him to watch since he's not a big fan of you either" I wasn't joking even though I was smiling. She was walking on my nerves and I was having none of that. To talk like this in front of everyone and especially in front of the initiates was unacceptable. They needed to learn where their place was, Chris needed to learn it too. After all, I was the one that trained to be a leader and she was stuck with her mundane low-level job.

It was unacceptable for me to let her mock me like this and get away with it. People will notice me not fighting and will think they could step on me and I couldn't let that happen. I was the one that needed to be on top not them.

She watched me straight in the eyes like she was trying to figure if I was serious or not but quickly averted her gaze when she had enough proof that I wouldn't even hesitate to do something like this.

The rest of the people on the table had their heads down trying desperately not to meet my eyes as if one look from me could turn them to stone or kill them. So pathetic, they were too easy to manipulate.

The initiates were talking among themselves with hushed voices and I didn't like the fact of them coming close to my personal life. It was enough for them to sit with this group of people, to catch the latest gossip or rumor about my life, either true or not. And since they were new here, they were hungry for this kind of information, trying to see how everyone clicked. I know, because I would have done the same. But I still didn't like the fact that they heard about me and Eric, one more reason for me to show my authority. People were very quick to jump to conclusions about something they have no information about.

"Val" a male voice pulled me out my thoughts stopping mid-sip of my coffee as I looked up at the body that cast a shadow over me.

Mike was standing there tall but he wasn't his charming self he looked kind of worried, which only made me frown.

"Do you know where Eric is?" he asked, surprisingly the most asked question of today. Who knew Eric was such a famous person. _'Yeah, in my spare bed, wounded but fine'_ I wanted to say but that would only bring more question I didn't want to answer. "He's not at his apartment and I can't seem to find him"

 _'Yeah because he's in mine'_ I wanted to say yet again but instead, I just shrugged "Ask Max. I'm not his babysitter nor am I his secretary" I said with a little bit annoyance in my voice. And here I was taking files from Four and making Eric a breakfast in the morning, caring for his wound. I was just as much a babysitter as I was a secretary, even if I didn't want to admit it.

I looked at him with a stern face, hoping that he would read between the lines. Max knew Eric was with me if he trusted Mike as much as I did he would tell him where to find Eric.

There was confusion on Mike's face, in the beginning, not sure how to react to my expression. But then there was a spark of understanding. "Okay, " he said before he left our table walking toward Max.

I looked over my shoulder just when Mike leaned down, whispering something in Max's ear. As if on queue Max's eyes shot at me. I nodded barely visible, giving him my permission to tell him if he saw fit. After all, Mike seemed very close with Eric and I didn't see why he shouldn't know about Eric's whereabouts.

They exchanged a couple more words before Mike straightened up, glancing quickly my way before he turned to leave the dining area. It was strange seeing him so serious and slightly worried. He looked so out of character like this.

I moved my attention back to my breakfast and the conversation that was going around the table. I caught it just in the middle but that didn't stop me from joining in.

* * *

 _ **Eric**_

The obnoxious knock pulled me out of my unexpected slumber. I wasn't even sure when I'd fallen asleep on Valeria's couch but that seemed to be the only thing I'd done all day here. Lay, sleep and occasionally walk around the empty apartment searching for something better to do. I wasn't used to doing nothing and it was driving me crazy with every minute that passed. I needed to move, exercise not sit and relax. Even if I didn't want to admit it the pain on my side was keeping me from doing all of this things, but not keeping me from walking around no matter how bad it hurt.

The obnoxious knock echoed through the silent apartment and for a second I thought about just ignoring it. After all, whoever it was might see me like this and I couldn't risk it. Which was one more thing that was driving me crazy. My inability to take care of myself and get to my apartment without the stupid cameras catching me stumbling back.

"Eric, open up" I heard Mike's voice shocking me in the process that he knew where I was.

Groaning I sat up on the couch and slowly made my way toward the door, clenching my side with my hand.

"How did you know where I was?" I asked him when I opened the door, revealing his concern face. We were friends for a long time and he was always known for his cheerful side. Not now, though, now he was serious. His eyes were scanning my body as if he was making sure everything was where it supposed to be. When his eyes landed on my hand covering my bullet wound he frowned stepping into the apartment. I was wearing a shirt, that Val got me form my apartment, but still, it didn't take a genius to figure out that if my hand was there then something was wrong.

"Max told me. What the hell happened to you?"

I closed the door behind him and with slow steps I moved toward the armchair, winching when I felt the sharp pain on my side. I sighed when the pain disappeared with me sitting down, glad that this didn't cause me pain. The things that Valeria left me sure did the trick, I feel better than I was supposed to feel but still, the wound was a wound and needed time to heal.

"Sit, don't stand like a scolded child"

I heard him hesitantly move toward the couch sitting on it, his eyes landing on the bloody spot on the carpet. Yeah, the spot on the couch came out but Val didn't have time in the morning to clean the carpet so she left it murmuring under her breath how I was to blame.

"Okay start talking man, because I'm really concerned."

I shrugged "I got shot"

He gaped at me his lips parting in surprise "You got shot?" he asked, "And why the hell aren't you in the infirmary?"

I shrugged again averting my eyes from his. "Because no one has to know. We were on a mission and I got shot so I came here instead" long story short. The look on Mike's face thought told me that he wasn't satisfied with my shorter version of the story. When was he ever satisfied with so less information?  
"That doesn't answer my question, why are you here?"

"Val, pulled out the bullet. No one has to know" I repeated like a mantra. From the shock on his face, I figured he didn't know about the things that Valeria was capable of, making me the only one that knew of all the people here.

"She can do that!?" he asked surprised "How…how does she know to do that?"

"She just does"

"Okay, but who taught her?" Her ex probably – I wanted to say. Jealousy filling me, but I gripped my teeth tightly. He was pushing me for more information I wasn't going to give him because I finally had what I wanted from her – trust. Not full trust but a lot more than I expected or deserve.

"I don't know but she does and that's why I'm here"

"So, you're good?" he asked as if to make sure I was indeed fine and not just pretending. I wasn't fully fine but that didn't stop me from pretending.

"Yeah, I'm fine"

His eyes scanned the apartment for the first time since he entered "So this is the apartment you gave her" he said smugly.

"Acquired" I corrected him.

"Whatever" he rolled his eyes and just like that his cheerful side was back.

"There's beer in the fridge, help yourself out"

He threw me a skeptical look not daring to move from the spot where just last night I could have died on.

"I don't want to anger Val. If you promise she wouldn't kill me if I get one or two than okay. But I don't want to risk it"

"Are you scared of her?"

"Pff…she can kill you with the cold looks she throws your way"

"I'm still alive and I'm probably the only person who saw those looks more than anyone."

He waved his hand dismissively "You don't count, you have some resistance as she has for your stare"

I had to chuckle at that but the pain on my side reminded me of the fact that I couldn't freely laugh "Just grab a beer Mike"

Laughing he stood up and started walking toward the kitchen. I heard him open the fridge door, some bottles clicking from the force.

"You want one?"

"No, I have my bitter juice for the wound"

"Your loss" the fridge door shut close and Mike's steps started to come closer before they stopped just a second for the can of beer to be opened.

"So tell me…" he began when he sat down and took a sip of the beer. "Since when do you drink so much, as you did on the last party, and still not remember everything?"

I sighed. I just knew sooner or later that he would bring that up. We haven't seen each other since the next day of the party and I knew that this was a question that was driving him crazy.

My eyes moved to an empty spot on the table. I thought I could escape the questioning but I was wrong. One thing that Mike could do right was to get answers out of me. Maybe it was some part of me that wanted at least one of my friends to know what was happening in my life. Maybe it was because he was just so good reading me when I intentionally avoid his questions, just because I didn't want him to know that much.

Now it was something like this and I knew he would pick it up so quickly.

"You remember don't you?" I heard him saying smugly because he picked it up. My eyes landed on him. He was grinning, his smile so wide revealing his white teeth.  
"Nope, I don't remember anything"

He snorted "Yeah, right. Since when? Don't forget that just a year ago I saw you drunker than now and you remembered everything in the morning just fine. Some brain you have there"

"The only exception back then was that I wanted to forget" I murmured, averting my eyes from his happy face.

"So what you "don't" remember" he air quoted. Pissing me more if the process. I stood silent, my eyes moving to the bookshelf on the wall. "you're not going avoid this one, Eric. It must be something more than just a couple of compliments if I judge by the way she reacted. Her face was serious but her body stiffened. " In a moment like this, I hated the fact that he was ex, Condor. So easy to know if someone was lying, so easy for him to pick it up and throw it at your face.

I knew that he figured it out the moment I spoke that day. The moment I said that I didn't remember I knew, just from the look he threw me, that he caught my lie. But it didn't matter. Valeria didn't catch it. Even if she did, she couldn't confirm it.

I was pretending not to remember and I was sure small part of her knew that. But her mask was on and she didn't give away anything from the night before.  
She told me to tell her in the morning if I remembered and if I still wanted it. Truth terms I didn't know if I wanted it. The chain that was constantly around her neck was stopping me. Even that night it was there, hidden below the dress, laying just between her breast. And in the morning when she sat in front of me, with the marks that I knew I did on her neck – gone and the stupid chain.

In that moment I knew I was giving her a way out. She could have gladly told me the truth but no. I pushed but she lied every time.

And in this moment I knew that I had to do what I do best. Hide my emotions behind a mask, lie and pretend like nothing happened. It was hard when the person in front of you was the same. Mask on, lies, that I only saw because I knew otherwise and pretending like nothing happened.

She sat there hiding her true feelings, behind the mask, giving me no indicator what she wanted me to remember or what she wanted in general. She was good at hiding her emotions. Too good if you ask me. I myself was having problems figuring them out. Was she regretting it? Did she want it? Did she want to forget?  
Because I was sure as hell didn't. Everything from that night was constantly playing on repeat in my head, over and over again, driving me crazy. It was worse than the kiss at her party. Even if some parts of the night were a haze, I remembered every little moan she gave away. I remembered how her body reacted to my hands. How she felt pressed into me, her legs around my waist, her hands in my hair, pulling in for one more hungry kiss.

It was stupid but I thought I had her. I thought I had her in my bed, ready for me to make her forget everything that was on her mind. Forget even _him._ I was ready to take her despite me being intoxicated and the mockery of the stupid chain around her neck.

When she stopped me, I didn't want to push her and I was even satisfied with the simple fact that she was in my bed, in my arms – sleeping.

In the morning I woke up from the sound of the front door closing, I stupidly thought she would be still in my bed but instead, I only had a killing headache and a cure for a hangover.

I thought about it, I was ready to tell her that I remembered. But then she sat down, mask and chain on and it hit me that she still wasn't over him. I didn't even know why I cared if she was over him or not. I wasn't known for relationships nor expressing feelings. So why the dog tag was so pissing me off was beyond me.

"Your silence just tells me more" Mike pulled me out of my thoughts.

"Why do you need me to confirm, you're already sure of it?"

He shrugged casually "I want to hear you say it"

"Fine, it wasn't just a couple of compliments, but it doesn't matter. So drop it" I threw him a warning look, although that kind of glares didn't work on him.  
"How does it not matter. Are you blind? Its clear that she likes you"

I shook my head slowly "No, she likes you. But she's just flirting with you because she needs something. Don't expect anything"

"Or is it the fact that you don't want me to pursue her, because you're scared that you'll lose your chance with her"

With every word that came out of his mouth, he made me angrier. I didn't know what his problem was. I was trying to tell him not to get himself with anything, because she was always flirting to get things and he wasn't an exception. If she was still hooked up on her ex then there was no point for him to try.

"I couldn't care less. I'm just telling you to be careful" I told him with fake concern, because he knew best that I wouldn't be suddenly so censer about his well being.

"Sure you are" he narrowed his eyes at me "Look, I'm not blind as you are. I know she's just flirting with me for the fun of it. To be honest I like her just because she's such a flirt sometimes. She doesn't expect sex afterword. Believe me, I tried and it got me into the friendzone. I only flirt back because how mad it makes you"

"I see no reason for you to do that"

He squinted at me "Come on, I see how you look at her. Frankly, I think she's flirting with me just to piss you off too. I'm like that toward her just so you can wake up and notice that you like her and it's pissing you off when someone is flirting with her. It's not just me!" he threw his hands in surrender "There's always a guy waiting to make his move. You haven't seen her with anyone because she just doesn't take them seriously"

I scowled at him, shaking my head "Or she's still hooked up on her previous mentor. What do you know?"

He laughed. The only person except for Valeria who had the guts to laugh at my face or tell me my bullshit "Dude, that guy is long dead. Besides, how would you know?"

Because I held her when she cried her eyes out for _him_. But of course, I didn't tell him that too, because I liked the fact of being the only one. I stood quietly because I had nothing to tell him more. I was so split with emotions. That was why I didn't do feelings they were too complicated. Mike knew it, everyone knew it, hell even Valeria knew it.

Mike huffed his beer long lost forgotten but he still held it in his hand "Fine, maybe you want to sleep with her. Jest fuck her, get her out of your system and move on. " he shrugged and finally took a sip from his beer. My anger that was boiling in my body slowly quieted down as Mike said something wise for the first time this evening. Who said I had to give her more than just one night?

I smirked but I said nothing. That was the only thing that Mike needed to confirm that I agreed with him and just in that moment the front door opened.

"Hey sweetheart!" the smile on Mike's face grew. Fucker, now I knew what kind of games he was playing. All this time, all these flirts were for me to get angry. And damn him it was pissing me off. The fact that I let it get to me was making me angrier.

"Oh hey, you wanna join us for dinner?" I heard her ask. My back was at her and I couldn't see her, but I could hear her heels hitting the floor as she walked toward the kitchen, opening the fridge and cabinets in the process.

"I'll pass, but thank you. Don't let him get to you too much"

"Oh don't worry there's always a bullet through the head to get him out of his misery"

I shook my head. Both of them were so the same, I didn't know if that was good or a bad thing. It was good that they could make fun and agree on something – me. At the same time, it was bad because they paired up against me and I didn't like that I was losing my authority.

Mike laughed and his strong hand patted my shoulder before he winked at me and started to walk toward the door.

"Do whatever you want but my advise is to not shoot him here since then you have to clean up all of the blood."

"For fuck sake, Mike just get the fuck out!" I yelled but that only made him laugh more. I heard the door opening and then closing. Suddenly the apartment went quiet. The only sound that was echoing through the apartment was Valeria opening cabinets and pulling out pots and plates.

She didn't speak, neither did I. I just sat there in the armchair and listen to her moving around. It was strange for me to have someone else around me. Cooking instead of me and taking care of me. I hated it that I was so weak, couldn't even get my own clothes from my apartment, couldn't even cook or go to the dining area.

Sighting, I stood up slowly, wincing from the sharp pain. It could be worst. I had worst, this was nothing. I wasn't sure if it was the things that Valeria gave me or the bullet wound wasn't so bad. But whatever it was I wasn't complaining much, it still could be worst. Sliding my legs on the floor I made my way toward the kitchen, leaning on one of the counters as my eyes were moving with every little thing Val did.

"You wanna tell me why you are out of bed?" she asked and it sounded like she was scolding me. I had to smile at that, oh how the roles had changed.

"I've been laying all day, spare me the lecture"

She rolled her eyes and left the veggies on the cutting board before she turned toward her jacket that laid on one of the barstools and pulled out a small vial. My eyes widened.

"You took it from the infirmary?"

"Yeah, drink it. I'm sure that with the healing serum and the things I make you, you'll be as good as new by tomorrow" she offered the serum to me and I was still watching her like she grew a second head.

"And how did you explain to the nurse there why do you need it?" she shrugged pushing the small vile in my hand.

"I didn't. Don't worry about it" I watched her move back to the cutting board starting to chop some veggies. She was hiding something, she wouldn't even look at me. My thoughts started to run wild. No one saw her but she somehow acquired the healing serum. She was good at lying but no one would give it to her without a reason and she couldn't give them one.

"Did you steal it?!" I suddenly yelled, couldn't even believe it was possible. She shrugged again. "Don't worry about it, just drink" I gaped at her for a second before laughter escaped my throat.

"Damn, you stole for me. I'm flattered"

"Yeah, yeah as you always say- don't flatter yourself"

I didn't hesitate, drinking the stolen healing serum. She was watching me carefully as if to make sure I drank it all and not just fake it. Even if I didn't see a point in faking it, this would make me better. She made a few uneasy steps toward me her eyes never leaving mine. So many thoughts ran through my mind with every little step she made until she stopped in front of me and my mind went blank.

Her eyes moved down to my body her soft hands slowly lifted the T-shirt just enough for her to see the wound and let her do it, for some reason. I felt her light touch on my skin but it all ended as quickly as it began. She withdrew her hand and pulled the shirt down.

"Did you applied the cream I gave you?" her eyes were now one mine and I nodded like a good boy. Who was I to deny a fast treatment, the things she did were like magical. No wonder why Erudite were trying to get their hands on it.

"Did someone ask for me today?" I asked when she continued preparing dinner.

"Four, he gave me some files. I got them done, figured if I can do it then there's no point in giving them to you so…"

I nodded even though she couldn't see me. I admired her quick learning. For such a short time she was able to pick up so many things that a normal person would have taken him at least month. We still held on, on her being an official leader because it would be just too suspicious if she just went through initiation and jumped into leadership without training. If I could, I would make a leader right away because she didn't need training she knew all of this, she was born to be a leader everyone with eyes could see it, but I couldn't, so we had to wait.

I was getting a little bit tired of standing up but I stubbornly watched her as she cooked.

"From where did you learn how to cook?"

"My grandma"

"You know, most women don't know how to cook," I said it like it was the most interesting fact in the world and I almost wanted to bang my head somewhere. She didn't look away from the ingredients in front of her but I knew she was listening.

"Where I'm from if a girl doesn't know how to cook then she's not suited to be a wife"

"So you're, because you know how to cook?" I asked just to make sure I got it right. I had to admit that I secretly liked her history lessons, as I would call them. This one was not an exception. It was always interesting to see how people were thinking back then. It made see more of how she clicked, how she was raised, how she thinks. A part of my Erudite past wanted to know those facts just to mash them up with my Dauntless present and make one big picture that was Valeria.

She nodded at me and started to chuckle throwing a quick glance my way before she continued chopping "You look like you're ready to fall on one knee" she joked but my face turned serious. She noticed me not joking back and turned her head toward me just when I was carefully and slowly lowering my body, trying not to wince in pain. I knew I wasn't going to be able to drop on one knew because of the bullet wound but still, that was at least enough for her to get the point.

And she did, her eyes instantly widening when she registered what I was doing. "NO!" she yelled pointing the knife at me like a threat. Straightening up I let out a laugh as she was still holding the knife like she was ready to stab me.

"You didn't let me ask"

"No!" She said firmly but I could see the smile trying to crack up the stone façade.

"It's because I don't have a ring, right?"

She finally laughed as she continued to chop the vegetables "Yeah, that was the problem" she said sarcastically "No ring – no this" she theatrically waved at her body making us both laugh. In times like this, it was so easy to forget that I need to hold a mask on, to hold a certain level of authority. With her, it all went through the window in just a matter of minutes, when we were alone. I admired the fact that she knew when to joke and when she needed to be serious, following my orders and respecting my authority. But times like this I couldn't help but think that I'd lost my touch with her and I messed up and somehow she would stop respecting me, as she should be.

"Most Dauntless women don't know how to cook" I pointed out.

"And you decide to secure the one that knew how to cook, just so you won't die from hunger?" I snorted in reply "Besides you know how to cook too"

"I'm not a woman" I faked hurt, only making her laugh.

"I didn't say that you are." She quickly smoothly avoiding the conflict that was about to happen "I bet a lot of women want you because you can cook"

" Not many know I can, If they knew that would be one more reason for them to want me," I said smugly and I could basically hear her eyes rolling.

"Dare I ask what are the other things?"

"Well, you know…" I began "I'm a leader, I have a big apartment, my saving account is large. Sex..." that topic hit closer to home than I wanted it but I didn't let those thought linger any longer. She snorted in reply.

"We have a term back in the day for that kind of women, they were called golddiggers"

"They sure are golddiggers. You know, you should be careful too. With you soon to be a leader, with that sweet apartment…"

She cut me right between my sentence "Oh please, I could sense them from miles away. Besides who would want you as a neighbor?"

"You say it like it's a bad thing. I cook for you, bringing you beers and wine. " I raised my voice. If someone watched us now he would probably think we were fighting for real.

"Yeah, It's not that bad when you bring booze. My only concern is that although I run from golddiggers I can't seem to escape the food digger" as she said that the knife was once again waved in my direction.

I laughed "take it as a compliment" she gasped placing a hand on her chest "A compliment. Did I get you high on healing stuff?"

I shook my head, holding back a smile. So easy for my mask to slip it was not even funny. I watched her as she moved around the kitchen. Throwing vegetables into the boiling water, cutting meat. I didn't ask her what she was making, whatever it was it would be worth it.

"You need to sit down," she said as she was eating a slice of carrot watching me carefully like I might collapse soon. She was sitting on top of the counter now, her feet dangling. She was waiting for the food to cook, from time to time she would throw quick glances it's way to make sure it was cooking properly. I shook my head leaning against the island counter in front of her.

"If you faint I can't carry you to the couch so I'll just leave you here"

"Fine by me"

We stood quietly, watching her as she was munching on the carrots like a damn rabbit. Without breaking her stare I made a few steps toward her. That was all I needed to find myself just between her legs. Memories fluttering my mind once again of the last time those legs were around my waist. Without even noticing my hands moved up her legs, my eyes watching the movement as it was the most fascinating thing I had ever seen. Suddenly the chewing stopped catching my attention. Looking up, her face was frozen mid chewing, green eyes watching me carefully like she was trying to figure out my next move. How could I not like the way her body reacted every time I touch her and even though her legs now were covered in her jeans I could still feel how she tenses up.

She swallowed hard before she spoke, her voice barely above a whisper. "You remember don't you?"

I knew in that moment that I gave myself away. I wasn't sure myself if I wanted her to know so soon or know at all. I stayed silent, watching as my fingers trail random patterns on the inside of her thigh. I could her breath as it started to became quicker and shallower. I smiled. If she didn't have her jeans on her skin would have erupted with goosebumps by now.

The momentary trance I had put her through faded away when she understood what my silence meant. "Son of a bitch" she cursed her hands suddenly flying toward my chest pushing me away from her. The push was so light that I didn't even budge from my spot which only made her angrier. Smiling I made a few steps back until my back hit the counter on the opposite side of her.

"Why did you lie?" My eyes trailed down the chain around her neck and back to her eyes. She was pissed and I stood quite pissing her more.

"What I do and what I don't, its none of your business"

She jumped from the counter looking at me dead in the eyes. The same look that would kill you if you weren't me, with resistance. "Why didn't you say something?"  
"There is nothing to say"

The boiling rage in her eyes was quickly replaced by resignation, her shoulders slushed down. "You know what, I'm too tired to figure you out right now" she shook her head.

"What's that supposed to mean?"

"Exactly what you heard. Are you ready to tell me why you lied?" she made one step toward me trying to intimidate me but it only made her look like a puppy barking at a bigger dog.

"No, there's nothing to tell"

She shook her head before she threw her hands in the air in surrender "You see…you're impossible to talk to. You never tell me shit!"

"We're starting a conversation which we've already talked" I reminded her. She stood in front of me and she looked like she was retrieving. Which wasn't typical of her, she would never retrieve.

"I can't… I just can't think about what you want, why did you lie. You'll never tell me and I'm not jumping into things if you don't tell me where you stand"  
"I'm not sure where this conversation went. Is this about trust because you have it. I let you take care of me" I waved at the couch.

"Yes and no!" she finally broke down her façade and yelled. "You know what, fuck you. I'm too tired for this" With that she stormed out of the kitchen leaving me very confused and stunned at the same time. She retrieved, she surrendered without even fighting. "I can't believe you remember" I heard her murmur under her breath as she started to climb the steps toward her bedroom. The dinner - forgotten.

* * *

 _ ***sigh* Eric just can't handle emotions. Bare with me and his conflicted self, he will come to terms sooner or later that this is not just fling.**_  
 _ **Who knew he lied? Someone had to pick it up, come on!  
Thank you all for reading ^^  
**_


	25. Poison

**_Sorry for the late upload but I wanted to get two chapters done before I post them together. I didn't want to split up the chapter._**

 ** _Thank you all for reading_**

* * *

The compound seemed to be filled with more life than the normal. Everyone was running around, doing something, holding weapons and I once again felt like I was missed something. How long would they keep me in the loop about things? I was soon to be one of the leaders and I knew nothing about what was happening, what people were doing, why were they doing it? I stormed toward Eric's table, who was sitting with Mike and Jack.

A week passed since Eric was living in my apartment, eating my food and complaining about how he was sick of sitting in one place. Now he looked like he wasn't shot at all. No one knew about that except Mike and the leaders. No one questioned where Eric went for a couple of days but no one was actually searching for him or stalking him to see that he was missing.

With that our previous conversation about why he lied was hanging loose in the air. Of course in typical fashion, we didn't even speak about it. Hell, we haven't said a word to each other since then and now I was about to break that streak.

"You wanna tell me what is happening?" I said sharply looking at him. His head rose lazily, his silver eyes watching me as he was chewing his breakfast taking his sweet time answering me.

He swallowed and started talking "Just the person who I wanted to talk to. I want you tomorrow to train the initiates" It was an order, no questioning it, no chances of changing it.

"Where would Four be?" I asked my patience wearing thin.

"With me"

I took a deep breath before asking "And where would that be?"

Just from the look on his face, I figured out that I wouldn't like his answer. My gut was telling me that something major was happening around me and I was the only one left in the dark once again.

"We found a factionless base we'll go investigate. So we gathered teams."

"And I'm not in one of them?"

He shook his head "No, I want you to train the initiates" he said it so calmly and that was the last drop.

"What the hell, Eric!" I yelled and I knew I caught the attention of the people around us. "You know I can do better than most of the people here and yet I'm left out in the dark to train the stupid initiates instead of fighting alongside you!" I spat out. What angered me more was the fact that he showed no emotion. Of course, he was hiding behind his mask, his eyes lingering on my face reading right through my emotions. I wasn't hiding them, I wanted him to see how furious I was.

I didn't even know how bad I wanted to fight, to feel the adrenaline again, to shoot something or someone. To be in battle again, leading a group, thinking about the plan. I thought I would never miss it, but I did now and it was driving me insane. Eric leaving me in the dark and denying me to fight just made it worst.

"It's an order, Val. You'll be here tomorrow and train them" he said more firmly pushing his authority.

"But I can fight. Why won't you let me prove it?!"

"You proved yourself. We made the plans and we need you here"

I scoffed "For what? Training the initiates. You don't need someone like me to train them. For all, I know you can pick up some low-rank person and he'll still do the job. Hell, you can even let Mike train them" I yelled.

"Wow, sweetheart careful where you shoot the insults," Mike said raising his hands in surrender. In this moment I didn't even register the fact that I might have insulted him. I didn't care if I did, he could suck it up.

Eric looked like he was losing patience with me which was exactly what I wanted from him. He straightened up.

"Mike is fighting with us. Your staying"

"Unbelievable!"

"Enough!" he yelled, he stood up suddenly slamming his hands on the table in the process. Mike and Jack jumped from the sudden movement. I didn't flinch. I knew it was coming. He leaned toward me holding his body weight with his hands. His eyes were cold, piercing through me. I haven't seen him that angry for a long time and somehow that was so thrilling. There was the Eric I knew and everyone feared. "Are you questioning my authority? Because I ordered you like a thousand times Valeria."

"I. Don't. Give. A. Shit!" I spelled out for him.

"I order you to train the initiates tomorrow. " he implied on 'order' "And if you try to disobey me I'll have to pull some drastic measures" he was dead serious. I stood there with head held high clenching my jaw so tightly that my muscles started to hurt. I didn't like the fact that he was manhandling me. I hated the fact that I couldn't do anything because he was ordering me not to. I hated that I had to let him win this fight because we were in a dining area full of people who were watching and he was the one with the highest authority here.

I shook my head "It's not fair. You know I can't disobey an order" I said silently, signing my defeat. I couldn't win this with him and I hated the fact that I couldn't. I hate that I had to retrieve and give up.

"That's why is an order," he said with a sneer and all I wanted was to take that stupid sneer off from his face. For the first time in my life, I disliked the fact that I was taught to follow orders without question. Especially ordered like this. I clenched my hands into fists still watching Eric's eyes. He knew it was hard for me to give up and he was enjoying every second of it. I could see it on his face, the pleasure of ordering me and knowing I couldn't disobey, that I couldn't do anything.

"Now fuck off and let me eat my breakfast in peace" he waved me off with his hand. Dismissing me just like that. I clanged my jaw tightly. How dare he! He sat down calmly. I knew that every set of eyes were on me now, watching, waiting for my next move. They knew I couldn't do anything more than I did. I knew it. You can't cross Eric and just get away with it.

"I wish I would have left you to bleed out and watch you as you take your last breath" I spat out barely above a whisper because after all, it was a secret. "Nothing would have given me a bigger satisfaction than that"

His eyes landed on me once again. The anger was sustained and he even looked a little bit taken aback. Before the mask was in place. "Yeah, but you didn't and here I am alive, because of you" he mocked me.

I huffed at him and stormed out of the dining area. Too angry to watch where I was going. Red was clouding my vision as I made my way toward the training rooms. I started to punch my anger out on the bags until my hands were bleeding heavily and I couldn't take another breath from the pent-up anger and the weariness. I hate giving up it made me feel weak, out of power. That was why I liked being a leader, being on top. Because I held the power and no one could suppress it. But not here, not know and I was feeling like I might suffocate, explode from the frustration and no matter who much I hit the bag the frustration remained.

I kept punching the bags even when I started to leave blood spots all over them. Even when sweat covered my face. I yelled. I screamed and nothing did the trick.

"Hey, sweetheart come down" I heard a familiar voice behind me but I kept punching. Strong hands gripped my shoulders pulling me from the bag. I started trashing trying to escape the restraints. "Whoa…Val, come down" I kept trashing until the grip loosen and I turned around shoving Mike away from me. He stumbled a little bit before catching his footing.

"Get the fuck away from me or I swear I will kill you!" I spat at him. That did it. He froze on his spot, hands up in surrender, eyes wide. I stormed out searching the comfort of my home, where no one would dare to bother me.

* * *

I was watching the initiates throwing knives and I wanted to shoot myself. It felt like they were on their first day at throwing them. It felt like Four did a shitty job teaching them, no surprise there. I walked confidently behind them as they threw knife after knife.

Sometimes I could hear the thud of the blade hitting the target but not the center. Sometimes I could hear the clinking noise that the blade does when it hits the stone floor. I cringed every time I heard that and it was a lot.

"Pathetic" I murmured behind one of the girls. She looked like she was out of some fashion magazine, with her blonde hair. It wasn't the girl that asked a question on their first day. This girl was here with Finn. An Amity.

She flinched when she heard my voice behind her but continue to throw her knifes. The blade clinked on the floor making me cringe. "Get your elbow higher and sharp throw, you look like you're throwing a fetter and not a blade" She nodded and prepared herself to throw another blade with the tips I gave her. She threw the knife that landed on the target, stood there for a second before it fell. Less pathetic.

"Keep going" I encouraged her and I continue to walk behind the initiates. Everyone in the room could sense that I wasn't in a mood for their smart mouths today. That didn't stop two of the boys to open theirs and piss me off. Getting scolded by Eric loosen their respect for me and I didn't like it one bit. All of them, except those two boys, were averting their eyes at me, too scared to catch my eyes. They probably thought that I had balls talking like that to Eric.

"Hey kitten, how's my throwing" I heard a male's voice behind me making me stop. A few of the initiates stopped throwing their knives too. I turned around slowly, my eyes instantly catching the person whose voice belonged too. He was standing next to the boy with the brown hair and brown eyes –Derek? I never bothered learning their names. But that boy with messy sandy hair was grinning at me like he just told the greatest joke of all times.

"I dare you to say that again?" I said firmly but his grin was still holding strong. The other around him registered the problem he was the only one not even fazed by it.

"Kitten"

I sighed making a few quick steps to him. He was still smiling. Oh, how bad I wanted to erase that smile off of his face. I stopped in front of him my eyes cold. I didn't say a thing I was giving him a third chance.

"So…the girls were wondering how good is Eric in bed" and there it went the third chance.

I cracked up "Oh I know when someone is asking something like this. The person is always talking about themselves. Are you interested in Eric, is that why are you asking me?" his smile fell but mine grew. A couple of giggles came from behind me. "And your throwing is so pathetic that if this was life or death situation I would have left you for dead because you're just that useless" he wasn't that useless. He could fight good and he was one of the few that actually hit the target and make the knives stick. So far he was good on the board. But those facts didn't matter when his aim was so bad. Not just knives, guns too.

"Yeah" he began, his bravery coming back to him "Why don't you show us then"

I sighed again. I was getting frustrated and annoyed by him. I only wished that I was fighting now with the others, being where the action was. The compound was strangely silent and empty without the majority of the soldiers. I could be there but instead, I was here, having to endure this asshole that thought he was the one to give the shots here. He thought he had me there. He thought I would back out and he would win. But that wasn't happening. I closed my eyes taking a deep breath and exhaled, when I opened them just to be met with the stupid smug face of that boy and I lost my shit, so far with being calm.

"Everyone stop!" I yelled. The boy before me started to smile widely. He thought I was going to demonstrate. Ohh…I was going to demonstrate but with a twist. The sound of throwing knives stopped and everyone turned to look at me. They started to throw concern faces at each other instead but my attention was on the boy in front of me.

"Do you know that Eric is my mentor?" I asked casually.

He huffed "Everyone knows he's more than that. Am I right?" no one humored him. No one dared. It seemed like everyone except him knew the limit. Knew the unamused expression on my face leaded to something bad but not him.

I forced myself to laugh "Yeah, your funny. Now stand in front of the target and let me show you something that I learned from him"

"What?" he was still smiling but I could see the confusion rising up on his face.

"Yeah, you heard me. Go stand in front of the target" I ordered firmly, no traces of a smile on my face.

"But…but…"

"I hate stutters!" I sighed. "Do I need to repeat myself one more time? Go stand in front of the target!" I raised my voice. "Go!"

He started to walk uneasily toward the target, glancing back at me from time to time like he waited for me to laugh and tell him I was joking but my face remained serious and he understood that there was no way out of this. He pulled out the knifes that were already stuck on the target, the sound of the metal hitting the floor echoed through the silent room as he turned toward me, leaning against the target. His eyes were locked on mine determent to show me that he didn't fear me but his body language was telling me otherwise.

"Now you stay put when I throw the knifes at you, if I see you flinch you're out and factionless. Am I clear?" he slowly nodded his head in return his Adam apple bobbing.

"You should be happy that I'm good at this because if I threw the knifes like you do, you might end up with a few things less" as I said it I picked up my first knife, sliding a finger over the edge to check how sharp they were. I knew how sharp they were. I was just intimidating him more and I knew it was working. "You never know though, incidents do happen. There's always a chance of the knife slipping…"

He gulped but his eyes remained on me. I had to give him points for that. Even though he knew what was going to happen he was looking straight into my eyes. Trying not to show fear and I would almost believe him if I didn't know better.

"Last chance to give up" I mocked him but he only shook his head in denial. "I'm sorry what?"

"No!"

I shrugged, making the stances that I had done more than one time. The knife flew from my hand, spinning a few times before the blade landed on the left side of his neck. He gulped but I didn't pay attention to him. My eyes were on the next knife in my hands. This one was sharp too and I was wondering where to throw it.

"Come on, give up already. Tell me you're not meant to be here and walk away"

"No!" he almost yelled. Now I admired his bravery, only if it didn't show when it was provoked. The second knife left my hand landing on the top of his head. He didn't look up, his eyes cold glaring at me. If glares could kill I would be dead by now.

The third knife was just in my hands when the door to the training room burst open and a very panting man almost collapsed as he stumbled in. He was dressed in his combat clothes, his jet black hair was stuck on his forehead from the sweat that was dripping. I wasn't sure if he looked like that because he ran all the way here or this was something else.

"Val, we need you at the infirmary now!" he said almost out of breath. My heart went into my throat. My first thought that crossed my mind was him. Was he okay?

"What happened? " I threw the knife on the table my eyes frantically moving over the man before me, who fought to take a breath.

"Just come with me. I'll tell you on the way there"

My gaze moved toward the initiates who looked with wide eyes, bigger than they were for the past few minutes when I threw knives at one of them.

"Dismissed! Let that be a lesson for you all. I would love to that again!" I yelled and with quick steps, I approached the man who was already out the door and going with fast pace toward the infirmary. I caught up with him pretty fast.

"Talk what happened?"

He shook his head "I don't know, no one is really that badly hurt, just a few cuts here and there but they are all extremely feverish and nothing helps" I stopped dead on my feet watching him closely.

"Nothing helps?"

He shook his head again "Not the Erudite serum. We have a bunch of Erudite doctors here but they are powerless" we started walking again and my mind was racing, too many thoughts were running wild that it was hard for me to focus on particular one or register them all.

"Wait, how long they were here?"

"For a few minutes, we waited for the doctors but since they didn't know what to do and all of them are getting worst we called you"

"Eric?" his name slipped my lips before I could stop it. The look on his face said it all, that he was one of them and my heart started to beat faster pushing my legs to speed up.

The man burst through the infirmary doors like he did with the ones in the training room. Stepping into the room I was instantly met with chaos. The two rolls of beds on each side were filled. People with black clothing were rushing from bed to bed. In all of that sea of blackness, there were a couple of blue spots that were more calmly walking but tense never the less. People were moaning in pain, some was crying in the distance.

I felt like my legs were nailed to the threshold and I couldn't move a muscle. My heart was beating in my chest so fast that it might burst out. Chaos all around me and fear took over every inch of my body. I was once again on the battlefield. Once again standing in a hospital were people wanted help and I was the only one that could help. They were dying and I was the only one. Who was I to decide who lives and who doesn't?

Always, always so close to helping them before they die in front of my eyes. The similarities with my past were almost too scary and I couldn't even think of what to do next.

"Val?" I heard a faint voice. But my eyes were too busy lingering all around the room like it would give me all the answers or hope that the scenario would change and I wouldn't be in the middle of it.

"Where is he?" I asked pulling myself out of my trance, my fingers trailing the lines of the tattoo on my left hand. Fearless. Fearless. I had to remind myself. I had to give straighten myself and concur the fear. Those people needed me and I wasn't the one to give up without a fight.

I didn't need to specify the black haired man nodded and led me to the crowd. He was trying his best to maneuver between the bodies that it looked almost pathetic.

"Move!" I yelled at the people in front of me and that did it. The moment my voice echoed through the room, for a second it felt like every sound stopped before the people started to make space for me to pass. I felt like Moses as I divided the sea of black clothing.

For some reason, they thought to put Eric on a bed that was in the far end of the room, which made me more pissed than I was yelling at people to move their asses in order for me to get there.

When I finally reached him the sight in front of my eyes made me stop dead on my feet. Eric was laying on his back, shirtless which made me see the cuts on his stomach and one on his right collarbone. He was pale, but his face was covered in sweat drops, his blonde hair stuck to his forehead. His silver eyes were barely open as if he was half awake half asleep. I made a few uneasy steps toward him. My heart clenching in my chest from the sight of him. He was so weak, so out of it. His life was in my hands once again and I couldn't help but get back the things I had said to him yesterday morning.

The sadness quickly faded and it was replaced by anger. Anger that I wasn't there with him, to fight beside him. Maybe if I was there this wouldn't have happened. Maybe he would be okay and not feverishly dying on the bed. Instead, I was here, teaching the initiates how to throw knives like I didn't have a single care in this world. So many emotions ran through me as I watched his eyes shifting at me but he wasn't looking at me, it felt like he was looking through me and that made the lump on my throat, even more, heavier and bitter.

My fingers brushed the stuck blonde locks off his forehead. Before my eyes moved on the wound on his collarbone. It was just a scratch it didn't even bleed too much, how was it possible to make someone sick. My eyes went down toward the wound on his stomach which was pretty much the same as the first one, maybe longer but it was just a scratch.

"Do you know what is it?" a female voice pulled me out of my thoughts. Looking up I saw a blond woman dressed in blue her eyes were so bright blue that it might look silver. I squinted at her but I'd never seen her before.

I shook my head as I averted my attention back to the wound. So small, making such a big reaction. If the body reacts like this then there has to be something in it that it was not right.

"Is everyone like this?" I asked calmly but on the inside, I was fighting with my fear and the adrenalin rush that was threatening to escape. I didn't like this one bit and the fact that all of the people here needed my help wasn't helping my anxiety.

"Yes, but the serums don't work on neither of them. Most of them are scratched. It seemed that the scratched made them feverish but none of our serums could help them" the woman explained with a little bit of urgency in her voice. I leaned closer to the wound my eyes scanning the flesh around it. It felt so familiar and I only hoped it wasn't the thing I was thinking of. But when I saw the small blue spots around the wound all instincts kicked in. My head shot to Eric who was still watching me with a distance look.

"Hey, open your mouth for me" I spoke to him softly my hand cupping his cheek urging him to do so. But he just stood there watching me.

"Val?" he spoke, his voice rasp barely audible. I shook my head "Open your mouth come on" I squeezed his jaw because the panic was rising in me and my eyes were starting to burn. Please don't be this, please don't be this. I chanted as Eric finally obligated and opened his mouth. I guided him toward the light of the window and I saw the same small blue spots.

I took a deep breath, dropping my hands on the side of the bed. I had to give myself a mental pep talk because this was happening again and this time it wasn't just one person it was the whole room.

"Someone come here right now!" I yelled when I found my voice again. Fighting the urge to break down in tears and just cuddle next to him. Quick steps stopped behind me and my eyes met a girl in black with blue hair and a lot of piercings on her face.

"Listen to me very carefully" I started approaching her slowly my eyes never leaving hers. She stiffened under my gaze but didn't back down. "Take my key and go to my apartment. Get me a gray bag which is in my upstairs bedroom closet. Bring it to me as fast as humanly possible because if you don't I will kill you and my eyes won't even blink. Got me?" she nodded frantically as I pulled out the key out of my pocket. She took it and stood in front of me.

"Move!" I yelled and she ran toward the door. "You, get your ass here!" I pointed at a boy that stood near the next bed. He unsurely made a few steps toward me as if he was scared I might eat him but time was ticking and I didn't have time for bullshit.

"Go to the kitchen bring me a pot filled boiled water and a big bowl and fast because you would the next in line to die!" he nodded before he to rushed out the door. I sighed turning toward Eric. He was in a very bad shape and it pained me to look at him like this. I kept thinking that if I had gone with him this might be different. My hand started to play with the chain around my neck without even noticing.

"Val" a small voice pulled me out of my thoughts. Looking over my shoulder I saw Chris standing with bloodied clothes and tears in her eyes. I wasn't sure if my heart could handle more news. How was it even possible for factionless to cause such damage. How was it even possible for them to possess something like this.

"What is it. Are you hurt?" I scanned her but I wasn't sure if the blood on her clothes was her's or not. She shook her head tears slipping out her eyes. "It's Will, he's in a very bad shape" I nodded following her through the people as she led me toward him. I couldn't do much about it, he was the same as Eric, only much worst. If the two people didn't come soon with the things we might lose him. And for some reason, I felt so numb. Was it selfish to don't care about the others?

"I can't do anything until I have my things" I shrugged looking up at Christina who was sobbing above Will's sweaty head. How bad I wanted to break down and sob and wait for someone to help them instead of being the one to help them. I turned around going back to Eric. I was getting impatient. I hated to wait and the girl with the bag sure did take her time.

My eyes landed on the blond woman who was watching Eric carefully like she was scared he might slip up. If the girl doesn't show up soon he just might.

"What is the thing that causes them this?" she suddenly asked moving her gaze at me.

"Poison. A very, very old poison" I pressed my lips my hand once again starting to play nervously with the dog tag. The woman's familiar silver eyes landed on my right-hand tattoo. I bet she knows about me. She was Erudite after all. She opened her mouth as if to say something but the door to the infirmary burst open and the girl with my bag came rushing in followed by the boy with a bowl in his hands and the cook with the boiling pot in his.

"I need a table ASAP!" I started barking orders. I need to move fast and do it right if I wanted him to live and all of the people here. A table was pushed in front of me between the beds, the bowl, and the pot was on it and soon my bag was in my hands. "Everyone that it's not Dauntless nurses and doctors, get out!" I shouted at the room. People learned not to question me as they rushed toward the door but the woman beside Eric's bed stood still.

"You too!"

"But…" she started but a blonde haired man interrupted her pulling her by the arm.

"Come on, apparently we're not needed here, anymore" he threw me a firm look like I stole his candy.

"We're his parents can we stay?" the woman spoke again ignoring her husband. I vaguely registered the fact that she was Eric's mother and she was worried about him but I couldn't risk their curious eyes seeing what I mix.

"No, I'm sorry but you need to leave so I could mix the thing that could help him. The more you argue with me the less time he has and if he dies I swear I'll lose it and go on murdering spree. So get out!"

She didn't need more encouraged, letting her husband pull her out of the room. The moment when the door closed, the room fell more silent than before. a few people only stayed. I turned around starting to mix the ingredients.

My bandaged hands were shaking as I mixed the thing that I did just one time before and I hoped I would never do it again. But here I was, a hundred years later the same book open, same shaky hands and same herbs throwing into a mixture to create a cure for someone that I care about.

It took everything in me not to break down in tears in front of all these people. I feared that I would be close and he would die and everyone else in this room. I hated admitting my fear. Out of all of my fears, this one was the strongest and I hated it. I hated being weak.

The people around we were watching my hands carefully not like they could understand what was happening. I had to double check everything to make sure I didn't mess something. When everything was ready I started explaining how to apply the cream, who to give them the tea and everyone took something out of the table rushing toward the other beds to help the others.

Stuck in my own head I started to apply the cream on Eric's scratches, bandaging them up after it. Didn't even see when his mother was back beside his bed.

"Will he be okay?" she broke the silence finally. I nodded mechanically and leaned a glass filled with the tea towards Eric's dry lips while tilting his head with my other hand. His tired eyes locked on mine as I pushed the cup, he looked like he wanted to say something but I stopped him.

"Drink" I urged him he complied taking a big sip out of the cup. Placing the cup back on the table I sighed, dragging my hands through my face. I was tired. The adrenalin rush was finally quieting down and the tiredness took over.

"Hey!" I shouted at the girl with the blue hair. "Get him in a spare room" I ordered. But she stood there like I spoke to her in a different language.

"We…we.." she started to stutter, pissing me off more

"He's your leader for fuck sake, so get him in a separate room or your name will be the first thing he hears when he wakes up!"

"Sure, I'll see what I can do"

I forced a smiled while she rushed out of the room.

"Do you always get things with threats?" asked Eric's mother catching my attention.

"It gets things done quicker"

I could see the disapproval in her eyes but I was too tired to care right now. I started to pack the things back into my bag.

"The cream is applied every four hours, clean the wound, apply, bandage. Tea – when he wakes up, give him two or three sips. I wouldn't be gone for long." I explained before starting to leave, stopping just next to the woman.

"Don't even think about taking free samples from the mixtures or I swear his mother or not I'll find you and no one will understand how you died. You're an Erudite, you heard stories about me" I warned her. There was a slight sign of bravery in her eyes when she straightened her back and looked at Eric for a second before her silver eyes were on me. It was strange for an Erudite to express bravery, probably I triggered some motherly instinct.

"This's not my intention" she reassured me.

"Good"


	26. Poison 2

**_Eric._**

My eyes felt heavy as I tried to open them. My vision was blurry for a second before my eyes focused on the gray room. My body felt like I had been hit by a train even though if I could remember correctly I didn't suffer from severe wounds, just two scratches, that somehow managed to make me ill. I tried to swallow but my throat felt dry as a desert. My eyes slowly shifted from the wall in front of me to a blonde figure leaning over the bed.

"Hey, you're awake," said softly her silver eyes filled with warmth I haven't seen since I was a child. I frowned a little bit. I could have sworn that Valeria was here.

"What…" I tried to ask but my voice was raspy and it felt like it belonged to someone else. My mother smiled at me warmly and brought a glass of something near my lips.

"Here, take two sips of that" I obligated waiting for the cool water to hit my tongue, but the liquid that entered my mouth was bitter and awful. I winched as I forced to swallow the bitterness not helping with the dryness in my mouth.

"Yeah, I figure it's bad. But it helps you" she said quietly. She sat down on the chair beside the bed, putting the cup on the bedside table. Her eyes were examining me, like she needed to know herself that I was okay. Her years started to show on her face making me realize that it had been years since the last time I saw her. When I chose Dauntless and I saw the disappointment in her eyes instead of carrying as I did now.

"What are you doing here?"

She put a finger to her lips and shushed me "Just making sure your okay. Beside they called us when they couldn't heal you" I frowned at her.

"Why are you shushing me?"

She pointed at something on the opposite side of my bed. My head slowly turned toward that direction and the sight of Valeria made my heart clench in my chest. She was asleep on the chair, her body slushed on it in such a painful position that it was hard for me to imagine it was in any way comfortable. Her left hand was laying on the armrest her head on top of it, her hair falling behind like a waterfall of fire, her right leg was hanging over the other armrest while her left leg was on the floor, her other hand was on her chest barely holding an open book that was threatening to fall on the floor. She looked so peaceful and comfortable, even though her body was twisted on the small chair.

"Poor thing, rushed whole night helping you and the others" my mother spoke softly as I averted my eyes from Val's sleeping form and back to my mother.

"I didn't expect less from her," I said and I slightly pulled myself up so I could sit on the bed, my back leaning on the bedpost behind me. There were two bandages on my body, one on my stomach and one on my collarbone. My fingers trailed through the bandages trying to rip them off to see the damage.

"Don't" there was a warning in her voice that made me sigh, dropping my hands to the side. Some things never change.

"Since when she has been here?" I asked nodding toward Valeria.

My mother pressed her lips before answering "A little after they brought you in. She came here with thunder and fury, barking orders and giving death threats" she said while shaking her head. I had to laugh at that. Bumped off the fact that I wasn't aware to see her bossing people around.

"It's not funny!"

"That is so her," I said between laughter. My mother sat more comfortably in her chair but her eyes were stuck on the chair on the other side of my bed. I could see her eyes shifting, examining, trying to figure things out. I could basically see the wheels in her mind turning.

"Is there something between you two?" she asked suddenly her eyes never leaving Valeria's sleeping body.

My eyes widened "No" she huffed in return.

"Could have fooled me. The way she was ordering around. There were at least twenty people or more injured, she never left your side for more than a minute"

I pretended like this words didn't make me feel all warm and fuzzy inside. "Well, I'm her leader" I made a stupid excuse. Sure, I was her leader but I know, even my mother knew that this wasn't the case.

"Yeah, keep telling yourself that"

I narrowed my eyes at her, the end of my lips curling up a little. Her eye finally met mine before she burst out laughing. Her hand flew to cover her mouth in a miserable attempt to cover it up.

"What?"

I shook my head slipping a small laugh myself "Nothing" My eyes told her more than my words did. I missed her. She wasn't all that snobbish like my father and I could always rely on her to crack a few jokes here and there to make the subject lighter.

The peaceful moment was ruined when the door to my room flung open, making Valeria jump in her chair, her book falling down on the floor with a loud thud. I could see in her eyes that she was ready to attack and kill everyone that dare do something stupid. The moment she saw it was my father who came barging in, her stands softened and she leaned down to pick up her book before her eyes fell on me. There was a small sign of relief on her face before it was gone, replaced by the stone mask.

"We have to go back, come on" my father spoke to my mother ushering her to stand up. He made a few quick steps toward Valeria as his hands were reaching for a bowl on the nightstand. Valeria's quick reflexes came in as she caught his hand in a matter of seconds her eyes murderous. My mom let out a sharp gasp at the sight.

"Don't you even think about it or you'll lose your hand" she threatened him and I could see how bad she was squeezing his hand. My father winced at the pain and retrieve his hand.

"We need this in our serum, it could be helpful in the future" he tried to reason with her but the look on her face was deadly serious.

"When you need it again you'll come to me, I'm not giving you shit!" she spat back her eyes throwing daggers at him. I mentally told myself to praise her for this little stunt she was pulling with my father. I didn't know what was in the bowl, but she wasn't stupid and allow it to get into Erudite.

"You stupid girl, this could help a lot of people"

"Richard…" my mother spoke softly from the other side of the bed trying to calm him down, but it was no use. Valeria instantly jumped on her feet stepping closer to my father with a cold glare.

"When this happens again you send them to me. But this is stepping nowhere near your labs and if by any chance it gets there I would find you and just as easily poison you. Am I clear?" her voice dripping venom. I only sat back and watched the show as my father paled and made a few small steps back. I didn't need to interfere with the conversation, I knew she would do just fine without me. My mother, on the other hand, was on the edge of her seat ready to jump as she was capable of protecting Richard from Valeria.

"Richard, come on, let's go. At least Eric is fine now" she spoke softly.

His head shot to me for the first time since he came into the room. I wasn't surprised, he always had other more important priorities than me.

"I couldn't care less if he was dying on that bed" he spat out I didn't even flinch. It was nothing new that was coming from his mouth. I could see Valeria stiffening before him as her green eyes shot toward me. Her features once fierce were now softer but I didn't need her pity.

"Then you should leave," I said coldly throwing a quick look at my mother's concern face. "Go, there is no place for you here, don't want to be traitors"

"Come on Donna lets go" Richard ordered making his way toward the door. My mother quickly stood up from her chair throwing apologetic looks my way as she trailed off behind her husband. The door shut close finally making me sigh in relive.

I closed my eyes, my head hitting the bedpost when I felt hands softly touching my stomach and removing the bandage. My eyes shot open seeing Valeria as she cleaned the wound and applied the cream that was in the bowl. She stayed silent as her fingers moved ghostly over the scratch.

"It's a scratch how did it make me ill?" I broke the silence. A new bandage was placed over the scratch as she moved her attention to the one on my collarbone.

"Poison"

I frowned "What poison?"

She sighed "The weapon was dipped in poison. It's like reassuring measure. If the attacker can't kill you one scratch from the poisoned blade it's enough to enter your system and make you ill, die in the process without the antidote." That information didn't make me feel any better. The fact that I almost died again and I was still alive felt so strange. My eyes moved toward Valeria, who was leaning over me to do the same process she did with the wound. She looked tired, bags under her eyes were telling me she hasn't had a good sleep in a long time.

"How did they get the poison" she shrugged but that didn't answer the questions I had "Did they take it from your books?" she shook her head again and I grew angry.

"Could you use your words for once"

She looked at me straight in the eyes before replying "I don't have the recipe for the position, I only have the antidote. I don't know how they required it and I'm too tired to think about it right now" with that she sighed and sat on the chair. Her hands were on her knees holding her head, her red head falling on each side of it.

"Go sleep" I ordered her but she shook her head. "Valeria, go sleep I'm fine," I said more firmly but she shook her head again.

"I can't" she murmured. "People died today, I couldn't help them. Tris was scratched with the poison and I found out when it all calmed down. I didn't even know she was here, I'm such a bad friend. Will was on verge of dying too, but he is stable now. But people actually died and I couldn't save them" I could hear her voice breaking making my heart ache. She was strong no doubt. I could only imagine what if felt like today for her. Seeing all of these people wounded, waiting for her. If I didn't know her fears I wouldn't understand how hard was that for her. But that made her brave, she fought her fear and now people were alive because of it.

"Come here," I said before I could stop myself. Extending my hand toward her. She lifted her gaze of her hands, her eyes filled with tears were trailing down her cheeks. How bad I wanted to brush them off. "Come, this is one in a lifetime opportunity and I risk someone coming in and seeing this, so you better use it" I motion her with my hand. She hesitated but placed her small hand on mine. I pulled her toward me, she stood up unsure of what to do and I kept pulling her toward me until she sat on the end of the bed.

"Come on"

She snorted and lay her head on my shoulder snuggling her face into my neck. Her hand went carefully around my body not to press the wound on my stomach. My heart warmed just from feeling her body pressed against mine and I closed my eyes trying to enjoy the moment of her so close to me.

"They are too scared to enter the room." She said softly her hot breath on my skin. I laughed, no doubt she scared them. She was quiet for a minute before her body shook and I felt the tears dropping on my shoulder. It felt like we had done this so many times, it felt so normal to have her in my arms. My hand went around her body pulling her close to me like I could protect her from her fears.

"You know you can't save everybody," I said softly. I didn't know what was happening around me today, but I could figure it was a chaos. I knew her very well, knowing that she lived through her fear of not be able to help anybody.

"I should have tried harder. I should have been quicker, maybe they would be alive" she sobbed into my shoulder and I was praying that no one would come barging in the room to witness this, because if someone did I would have to kill him on the spot.

"Val, I know you tried the best you can. There will be always people dying. You can't help everyone. Think about the people who you helped. You relived your fear and you did great. I'm alive, others too. That just shows that you were brave and you didn't give up" my hand softly stroked her arm as she sobbed. I knew that it was hard on her. I could only imagine the fear of seeing everyone in their worst shape, waiting for you to help them.

"But I was scared." She sobbed and her hand was clenching the side of my body. "I was so scared that I'll be too late and you'll die. Or others. I was scared that I'll make the antidote and you'll be dead when I turn around." For some reason, that little confession made me warm inside. All I wanted was to pull her closer to me and make her feel better. She confessed that she was scared, the majority of the people in Dauntless wouldn't even dare to confess that and somehow that made them cowards. It was good to know what scared you, to overcome it and Valeria did. Her crying on my shoulder, literally, didn't make her less brave. In the beginning, I would have used it as a way to break her but I didn't see it like that anymore.

"But you were brave and you helped and I'm alive. Thanks to you. Do you know how proud I am?" I heard her chuckle softly in my ear making me shiver when I felt her hot breath on my skin.

"That must have cost you a lot to say it" she joked, making me slightly laugh.

"Yeah, as I said it's once in a lifetime opportunity so don't get comfortable"

She laughed "You really should stop getting wounded. I'm not your personal healer"

"And here I thought you are." I leaned my head on hers as I felt her thumb making small calming circles on my body that felt like they were burning.

"Is that why you left me here?"

"Yeah, figured we'll need you here more than there" I buried my nose in her hair taking in the apple sent as I felt her sigh. She lifted her head to see my face. Her eyes red, still a little bit glossy, her cheeks still wet from the fallen tears. My hand slid from her arms toward her cheek, tenderly brushing off the tears. I had the urge to kiss her and it would be so easy when I have her in my arms, just inches away. My hand caressed her cheek even though there were no more tears there.

"You can't always make me stay here, you know?"

"Yeah, I know. You'll kill me if I make you stay behind one more time" I sighed. She broke our eye contact, snuggling her face back into the crook of my neck. My hand sliding into her head entwining my fingers in her red curls. It felt so good, I didn't want to let her go because it felt like she would slip away.

"Yeah I would" she murmured.

"But if you were there today and got wounded who would have made the antidote?"

"No one"

Silence fell between us, for a minute I thought she might have fallen asleep before she spoke making me laugh "You dad is a dick"

"Yeah, no shit"

"You must have had an awful childhood" she murmured against my neck. My hand that was caressing her back stopped and her head slightly lifted up to meet my eyes.

"I don't want your pity," I said coldly, but her eyes were still the same – soft and tired.

"I'm not pitying you. I just want you to open up."

"Why because you get to snuggle with me and you can suddenly ask me questions or make an assumption about my childhood!" I raised my voice. She backed off a little bit more from me and I immediately regret the words even though I was right.

"Gee Eric when did I ever pushed you to tell me stuff? Why is it so hard for you to accept that someone is interested in you and your past, someone who doesn't want to hurt you?" she too raised her voice, but it was tired and not so powerful.

"I could ask you the same thing, you're too so closed off"

"How much more you want to know?" now she was pissed off and she started to lift herself up from me, instantly feeling the absence of her body. My hand shot to catch her and pull her against me.

"Don't. Just don't go" I said quickly. I didn't know what was the urge that pushed me into doing this. All I knew that I wasn't going to let her go just yet. Her eyes were locked on mine. She sighed and laid again, snuggling once again on my neck. My hand going once again around her body pulling her close and my other hand cupping her cheek. I knew she was right, I knew that I had to give her something but it was so hard for me to rely on someone. I knew that every information could be used against me.

She had a lot of trust in me to show me that kind of weakness –to cry in front of me, to know her fears and past. I too trusted her but not that much. Hell, she took care of me when I was on a verge of dying, two times. I let myself be that vulnerable in front of her. My life was in her hands, she had so many reasons to not help me, even today, but she did. She always did. I didn't know if it was because of her fear of letting people die or it was because she just cared about me but the fact that she was always there to push me a little bit more, so I could live more, said a lot.

"I'm not working for Jeanine," I murmured quietly against her head the heaviness of the confession finally lifting up. That was something that stuck with us from the beginning. When I saw her fighting with my father over the cream in the bowl, there was no doubt in my mind that she was in any way trusting Jeanine. If she was, she could have easily given them the things so that they would put them in their serums.

Her head lifted up, meeting my eyes. "I don't trust her. She wants my books and I have to protect them from power hungry people like her. She can make a lot more things if she possessed them. Poisons, not like this one but deadlier. People like her don't know how to use them and she'll do something bad"

I nodded "I know, she has an interest in them, in you. She knows or maybe suspects that you're Divergent" she stiffened in my embrace, worry flashing in her eyes "She asked me a couple of times about you, your second stage results if I saw something suspicious" the more I spoke the more I could see the panic in her eyes. Her body moving away from me like she was trying to escape my grasp. Betrayal flashing quickly as I tightened my grip on her, my thumb making calming circles on her cheek.

"Hey, calm down. I didn't say anything. I'm not working for her" I could see in her eyes how she didn't believe me and I felt like I was loosing her "If i had said something to her, don't you think that you would have been in a cell right now or probably tested lika a rab rat, so she could see how you click?" she stopped struggling her eyes wide as she was watching me, I could see so many emotions flashing in her eyes. I didn't hide mine too. I let her see everything, I let her see that I was talking the truth.

"Is that why you always tell me to hide my other factions?" she spoke quietly but I could see the doubt still lingering in the air.

"Yeah, because as long as she doesn't have proof, she can't touch you. And my life is in the line here because I always say that if there is something more to you, then you probably don't show it and that's why I make you to not show it" my thumb was corseting her cheek slightly trying to ease her. Her eyes were glancing at my face like she was trying to find something wrong, a sign that I had betrayed her.

"I'd so many chances to tell her what you are," I said "But your still here. I don't like how she treats Divergents. Maybe someone out there is ready to bring down the faction system, but you're not and I know you of all people have that power." She pressed her lips before she laid back on my shoulder.

"I trust you"

Those three words made me smile like an idiot and I was glad she didn't see it. She snuggled close to me, her leg entwining with mine and her hand holding me closely as her breath evened out and I felt her body relax. As if on … my hands went around her small frame, pulling her close into an embrace. Protecting her from all her fears that were haunting her. I would have never guessed that I of all people would be someone's comfort, that I would be the one they run to as life got too hard, that I would be the only one to know their secrets and fears. I didn't like being that person, people expected a lot from you when you let them get close but somehow with her, it comes naturally. And even though I get scared of the fact that of all the people here I'm her comfort, I couldn't keep away the warm feeling that I was the only one.

 ** _Val_**

The contrast between his warm lips and the cold ring on the side was hunting me even in my dreams. The way his lips pressed in mine, his hand on my jaw lifting my head to meet him and even though the kiss wasn't as hungry and needy as once was, I felt myself giving in to the sweetness and returning it back. The movement stopped and I opened my eyes confusingly just to find Eric's silver eyes wide looking at me with such horror in them that I was a little bit taken aback. His hand was on my cheek holding me, lifting my head up to him just like in the dream but looking at his wide eyes like a deer caught in headlights I couldn't help myself but laugh. Did I just catch him in the act?

I smirked "That's a nice way to wake up" I murmured as I saw the shock on Eric's face. He pulled away from me, sighting he covered his eyes with his hand that was on my cheek earlier.

"I couldn't help it"

I let out a small chuckle patting him on chest "Figures" I sat up on the bed, looking around. Nothing had changed from the night before and there was no indication of anyone entering the room while we slept. No one would dare do such thing.

As I stood up and stretched I felt strangely refreshed, besides the fact that I cried my eyes out before I fell asleep. Maybe it was the fact that I slept snuggled close to Eric that made the sleep so good or maybe I was so tired that my body just shut down.

We both stood in silence as I checked the scratches that were now almost healed. With the poison out of his system, the scratches would heal quickly. I applied some of the cream once again as Eric was watching me carefully.

The door opened for the first time in forever and Max entered confidently, his eyes shifting between us.

"You've been here whole night?" he asked, his eyes landing on me.

"Yeah, the chair sucks" I murmured, averting my gaze from him, getting my attention back to the scratch on his collarbone. With my side glance, I saw Eric smirk catching me in a lie.

"Will he be able to get to my office?"

"Yes, he's as good as new. Like nothing happened" I looked at Eric, my words having a double meaning. He narrowed his eyes at me before nodding slowly.

"I'm okay Max" he spoke reassuring the leader.

"You scared us, Eric. We thought that this time we'll lose you"

"Yeah, keep telling him that he needs to stop getting hurt" I shook my head, putting the bandage on the scratch.

"You'll not get rid of me that easy"

"Good, I want you both in my office in five" Max ordered leaving the room without waiting for an answer. Eric sat up, his feet barely reaching the floor. He looked so much better than yesterday when I came in here. Even though I didn't want to admit it I was relief that he was well now. That he wasn't one of the casualties.

I hand went around my wrist pulling from my thoughts and pulling me closer to him.

"You okay?" he asked. He looked concern as he pulled me more to him, my body between his legs. His hand didn't leave the soft grip that had on my hand as his other hand went firmly on my hip. Felt so right and at the same time so strange and out of place.

"Yeah, are you ready to tell me why you lied and what do you want from me?"

His pierce brow rose as the annoyance quickly replaced the worry "So that's what it's about"

"You're confusing" I started to get angry at him.

"I'm confusing?"

"Yes, you. Now we're going to pretend like you didn't kiss me right. Because that's what we do" I crossed my hands over my chest

"That's what you wanted"

"What do you want?" I asked my eyes locked on his, daring him to spill everything he had on his mind. His hands were on each side of my hip as if he was preventing me from moving away from him.

"I don't know." He shrugged "Whatever you want"

I shook my head "No, I'm not rushing into anything before you figure it out and when you do come and tell me" I took a step back pulling myself out of his grasp. He looked confused and that made me angrier. I wasn't going to jump into anything. Getting my hopes up for nothing. I knew best not to expect anything from him, that was why I left him to decide what he wanted. That way my heart wouldn't end up broken.

"I brought you some of your clothes, they're in a bag next to the bed," I said sharply leaving the room

We stood silently in Max's office. No one spoke since all the leaders gathered for the unexpected meeting but with almost half of Dauntless on their dying beds from scratches called for that kind of meeting.

"So you want to tell me what was that that almost killed half Dauntless and killed six of them?" asked Max no one in particular but I knew this question was toward me. No one else knew what it was so that left only me, in this room, in the whole faction. I had to stop myself from cringing when I heard the number of dead. The rational voice in my head was telling me it was nothing really.

Six dead of all saved, was nothing. There was no war or a fight without casualties. But there was the fear and the anxiety rising in me that wouldn't let those six people just slip through like that. The voices were nagging me that I was responsible for their deaths. That I couldn't help them. One of them was stabbed like two times with the poisoned blades, that he was dying from blood loss before the poison could kick in. Others died on their way here, some died when I was still making the antidote. There were worst than Eric and it was bugging me because I was stuck to his side to blind to see the others but him. In the moment of panic and reliving the hell of the poison I couldn't care less who died when I had Eric in front of me. But once things settled in and he was fine my eyes opened enough to see the bodies that were carried away. The people who couldn't wait for a few more minutes for the antidote. So close and yet so far.

"Val?"

I was gripping the armrest when I heard my name, looking up at Max.

"What almost got us killed?"

"Very old poison" I began and continued to tell them the things I had already told Eric about it. They all eagerly listened to me with curiousity in their eyes. When I finished my explanation Max started to ask questions again.

"And how did the factionless possess such thing?"

I shrugged "That's what I want to know too. Its kind of impossible but the facts are in front of me."

"Could they have taken it from you?" this time spoke Eric, with professionalism in his voice. The one he used on Johanna when we were in Amity.

"No, I don't have the poison, I just have the antidote"

"And who has it?"

"Look, there's only one family that had that poison and they refused to give me their books when I went into the capsule. Maybe it's a family descended that gave the factionless the recipe, maybe Erudite got it somehow. I don't know. I only know how to make the antidote" I crossed my arms over my chest my back hitting the chair's back. Max was watching me carefully.

"Could they be another capsule?" I shook my head "How sure are you?"

"I'm not. I don't know what happened after they put me in. But I'm sure if there was another capsule I would have known"

"How?" I heard Eric scoffed next to me, making my head turn in his direction.

"The book. He would have told me if he knew"

"Yeah sure" I threw him a sharp look. I didn't know what got into him but it was pissing me off. One minute he was all cuddly and sweet and on the next, he was a cold asshole. Max looked confused as the others, they, of course, didn't know what we were talking about.

"How did you even know what it was?" asked Max.

"I've done it before"

His brow rose "What someone got poisoned before?"

I averted my eyes from him. This wasn't a subject I wanted to talk about, not even something I wanted to relive but the events from yesterday brought back memories.

"Yes"

"And someone from that family poisoned this person?"

"Yes"

"What was the cause that led to the poisoning?"

"It doesn't matter. The person that got poisoned is long dead and sure as hell I hope that the person who poisoned him is dead too and rotting in hell" Eric shoot me a strange look when I said _'him'_. Yeah, he was picking up fast but I wouldn't be so keen talking about it.

"Max, how did they get the poison?" spoke for the first time Monic.

"I don't know, we'll find out. In the meantime I want you to make as much as you can form the antidote if we ever need it again"

"If you keep Erudite hands of it, I will"

He chuckled "No problem with that"

The meeting lasted for a couple more minutes before we were dismissed. I hurried out the door too tired and hungry to stick in Max's office. Too many questions and emotions were swimming in my head. Flashbacks of a wounded body with the same poison in front of me, shaky hands as I mixed the antidote, rage, sadness, hopelessness, betrayal. Everything came back. My hands went tightly in fists as I passed through people on my way to the dining area. They were throwing me strange looks like they knew or maybe they witnessed what I was capable of. I hated that attention it made anxious.A hand collapsed on my shoulder when I was about to open the door to the dining area.

"When did you make the antidote again?" asked Eric. I sighed slipping through the door and ignoring his question. I knew he would push me into telling him about the last time I was in this situation but I wasn't going to tell him anything this time.

"Long time ago" I only said going through the food line, grabbing whatever my eyes saw. I didn't look back at Eric to know he wasn't satisfied with my answer and I was right because the minute we sat down on a table with our food in front of us he asked a question again.

"Who was the one poisoned?"

"It doesn't matter"

My attention was on my food but I heard him chuckle before me. "It was him, wasn't it?" He was too smart sometimes. His Erudite brain clicking quickly when there was a mystery in front of him and I was the biggest one. He might have left his previous faction but his way of thinking didn't change.

My head rose up from my plate "Why do you think I would tell you?"

"You don't need to. It's enough to look at you to know. You're not hiding your emotions very well now"

"Why is it that you want to know that? What can you possibly gain by knowing who got poisoned back then?" I asked, " You want me to tell you a sappy story about a jealous teenage girl who couldn't handle her emotions so she desids to play with fate?"

I was angry, my hand gripping the fork tightly and I was trying my best to burst from anger in front of him and the others here. I didn't want to relive it again.

Eric stood there watching me carefully but I knew his brain was going at full speed to deduct this mystery and I was getting angrier because he couldn't stop with the questions about my past. Why did he want to know so much? I trusted him but some things were better unsaid.

"So some jealous girl from that family got your boyfriend poisoned and you had to make the antidote to save him?"

My heat went in my throat. Spot on. I didn't give him enough credit. He was looking at me with a smug expression on his face because he knew that he was right. It didn't matter if I hide my emotions or deny it – he knew and I hated it that he knew. He was starting to read me even when I didn't want him too. Maybe I was just slipping too many facts making it easy for him to put the pieces together, I didn't know but I hated it.

"So what could you possibly gain by knowing this?" I asked again shrugging like it wasn't big of a deal but it was. I didn't want people knowing this.

He shrugged himself "As you said, I just want to know you and understand you, without alternative motives"

That surprised me a little but I didn't show it "And your still a mystery to me"

"You know my father is a dick and my mother is a less of a dick"

I burst out laughing, seeing the little smile forming on his face but he wouldn't let himself laugh.

"You know what?" I asked throwing my hands in surrender "Tell me stuff, don't tell me, I don't care. That doesn't mean I won't stop asking but I know when you want to tell me something you'll" he kept looking at me and he didn't reply, so I resumed eating dropping the subject.


	27. Leadership

**_I know, I know it's late. Very late. But consider it as a gift from me._**  
 ** _Happy holidays everyone! I hope you enjoy these days with family, friends or alone (whatever floats your boat) and be happy!_**

* * *

It has been a few days since the attack on factionless that almost killed our people with poison. There were still lingering questions about how they obtained the poison but none of us had the answer and the subject was left in the background, while everyone was focusing on the initiates. During this days I was pulling all-nighters making the antidote if by any chance someone got poisoned and needed to be treated immediately.

The life in the compound returned to normal after we mourned the people that had lost their lives. I had to say that their way of mourning was rather odd. Eric giving up a speech about how brave they were and there was no doubt in my mind that that speech was the same for everyone and everything. I doubted he had the time or the want to prepare and write a proper speech about the deceased but I didn't blame him. No one was listening anyway. All people wanted to do was to get drunk in order to 'honor' the dead, which was bullshit. The night ended up with everyone drunk as usual.

Two figures that sat down on the tables pulled me out of my thoughts. Shauna and Zeke had this sad and worried expression on their faces. They didn't make eye contact with the people on the table which only brought more questionable looks toward them, not just mine.

"Guys are you okay?" dared to ask Tris her hand reaching out to rub Shauna who looked like she was going to break down in tears, she shook her head pressing her lips together. Zeke was the one to speak.

"We just found out some bad news"

"What happened?" softly asked Tris still rubbing Shauna's back. Her mouth trembled, her eyes glued to the table as she spoke answering the question "We found out we can't have kids"

Everyone gasped but my eyes were glued on Shauna. I get it, they were together for so many years and they finally decided to settle down only to find that they can't have everything they wanted.

"Are you sure, there's nothing you can do?" this time asked Christina. There was something in her voice when she asked the question like she was denying what they just told her. A friend's instinct was to deny right away, searching for a way to reassure the friend that there might be another way out Not this time though.

"We went to Erudite and they confirmed it" spoke Zeke, who reached out to hold Shauna's hand in his.

"Who can't?" I suddenly asked and I felt all eyes on me. Some were shooting me warning glances telling me quietly to stop talking. While Shauna looked sad, Zeke looked at me like he was going to kill me.

"What?"

"I asked, who can't have kids?" I repeated "You or her?"

"Val, what's wrong with you?" yelled Christina "You can't just ask that!"

"I just did"

Zeke shook his head in disbelieve. "It doesn't matter," he said quietly as he tried to calm down Shauna.

"It does matter."

He threw me a sharp look. "It doesn't Val. Why do you even want to know?"

Christina hissed at me "Val, just shut up. Don't you see it's hard for them?"

"Well yeah I can see and I still want to know, who's bugged?" I looked around the table but everyone was throwing daggers at me.

"Val, just stop" Four warning voice came next to Tris.

"I just want to know!" I raised my voice "Is it Zeke or is it, Shauna. It's a simple question"

"It doesn't matter!" Zeke yelled at me and for the first time, I saw him that pissed. He looked like he was ready to jump on me and kill me on the spot. Shauna started to cry harder when she heard him raise his voice and all of a sudden I was the wrong one on the table. Everyone was yelling at me to stop talking and ask questions.

"It does, just tell me, point, nod I don't care" I shrugged. I knew I took it too far but I needed to know and everyone was looking at me with murderous glares.

"What the fuck, Valeria!" yelled Uriah no doubt getting to defense his big brother.

"God, just tell me!"

"It's me!" suddenly yelled Shauna her teary eyes for the first time looked at me. Her voice filled with devastation and sadness. "It's me. I'm the bugged one. I'm the wrong one that can't have kids. Are you happy now?!" by this point I wasn't sure if her tears were from sadness or anger. The look on Zeke's face was something between disappointment and anger as he pulled Shauna into him. Everyone else at the table sat frozen from the outburst.

"Yes, thank you. That's what I wanted to know. It wasn't that hard was it?" I said very calmly. Shauna suddenly stood up form her seat pulling away from Zeke's embrace.

"You can be so cold sometimes!" she spat before rushing for the door. Zeke threw me one last look, before shaking his head and going after her.

"What the hell, Val?" yelled Christina when they disappeared.

"That wasn't necessary"

"You just had to know, did you?"

I looked at them all in disbelieve. "I have my reasons, don't you all look at me like that"

"It's hard for them and you just had to push the question" spoke softly Tris but the disappointment could be seen in her eyes.

"You're so much like Eric it's not even funny" scoffed Christina and for some reason, most of the people on the table agreed. They quickly stood up from their places like the table was on fire. Some didn't even give me one last glance before all of them exited the dining area. I was left alone on the table confused. I know that the way I asked was a little bit harsh but they didn't understand why I asked. The feeling of me still being in Highschool returned again as I continue to eat my breakfast alone.

.

Later that evening I was in my apartment after the day of overseeing Four with the initiates. I was on my stove with an open book while the water was boiling with herbs and other stuff into it. It didn't smell quite pleasant but I knew it would do the things it was meant to do. I was mixing absentmindedly with circular movements that felt so hypnotizing and calm at the same time.

The knock on the door pulled me from the trance and I left the mixture on the stove before I went to open.

Eric was standing in front of my door and he strangely had a smile on his face.

"Okay, you're scaring me"

"Come on, we need to hurry!" he ushered me. His hand grabbing mine in one swift motion before he started to pull me out of my apartment.

"Whoa…wait, wait" I started to protest but he kept pulling like a small child. "Hey, I have thing on the stove, let me put it away and then you can pull me whatever"  
He let go of me and made a few steps into my apartment when I went to the kitchen. I could see him sniffing around and wrinkle his nose in disgust. "It smells awful. I thought you can cook well"

"Guess you're not taking me for a wife now" I joked while I turned off the stove and placed the pot on the counter. I heard him snort behind me, his eyes scan the living area before his eyes fell on the book that was on the table. He picked it up and raised it toward me with annoyance in his face.

"You never returned it"

I grinned at him "No, but you see, now you have it back" I pointed out and started walking toward him.

"It's been more than a month Valeria"

"Yeah, yeah…" I brushed it off "didn't we had somewhere to go?" he quickly came to his senses putting the book again on the table and strolling confidently toward the door.

"Come on, I have a surprise for you"

I looked at him skeptically but walked out of the open door he held for me. "Last time you said that I got an apartment. If every surprise of yours is that good I'll not complain"

He smirked as we started walking side by side toward the pit. He didn't say a thing but I could see the smug expression on his face. That face could mean a lot of things. It could mean – 'I just killed an initiate or a guy that was driving me crazy wanna come help me bury the body?' or it could mean 'I'm giving you permission to beat the crap out of someone'. Or that he had something on his mind that I wouldn't like and he would make me do it anyways. But whatever it was, it was hard for me to guess it. He was covered in mystery and even though I knew what his facial expressions meant in some cases this one was a total blank.

Not long enough we stopped at the tattoo prior and I had to look at him questionably. 'He didn't win the bet did he?' a quick panic flashed through my eyes as I thought of him picking up a tattoo that I would have for the rest of my life. For a quick minute, I regretted ever getting into that bet with him.

"Don't tell me I lost the bet"

He just smiled at me and opened the door with one hand while the other went on my lower back pushing me slightly inside. My heart started to race as I looked over my shoulder desperately trying to figure out what was going on. I mentally wasn't ready for him to pick up my tattoo but to be honest I never thought I would be in this position. I thought I was going to be the one who picked a tattoo for him, not the other way around.

"Just tell me, did you win?" I asked while he pushed me across the dimly lit studio. He didn't speak just the smug expression on his face. My eyes landed on Max, Monic, and Harrison who were smiling the same way Eric was, maybe not that devilishly as him. "Oh come on, you brought them so they could watch my misery"

"You're getting your leadership tattoo you silly" I heard him whisper in my ear making me shiver from the closeness. In this moment Tory exit the back room and saw my surprised face, bursting out laughing.

"Not funny, I thought I lost a bet"

Eric's hand pushed on my body pushed me toward the chair and I made a few unsure steps toward it. It still felt like they all going to laugh and say that they were joking and I seriously lost it.

"Then you shouldn't have bet with Eric," she said and starting to prepare her equipment while I sat on the chair and looked at the leaders in front of me. Max was sitting on one chair with Monic one the other in front of him while Harrison and Eric stood still behind them like they were guarding.

"No lost bets today, just getting your leader's tattoo" assured me Max with the same smile your grandparent would give you when they try to tell you it's all right. Relief washed over me as I got to live another day without a hideous tattoo picked by Eric. Suddenly I felt not so confident about my ability to guess who from the initiates was going to be at the top but I didn't let it show.

"So where do you want it?" Tory asked making me turn at her. She took my silence as confusion and continue talking "Most women want them on their body" I frowned and looked at Monic, who despite most women she had her on her neck, where it supposed to be.

"On my neck" I declared my eyes going back on Tory. She lifted up her brow.

"You sure, you know that it will hurt like a bitch"

"Yeah, I know but what's the point in having it if people don't see it"

"Good point" spoke Max with pride in his eyes which make me smile widely.

"So, put it on my neck and get it over it!"

A few hours later filled with pain and me barely holding my tears from spilling, I was done with my tattoo. Eric was the only one left from the leaders that waited for me patiently, not that he had a choice since Max ordered him to stay put and wait for me, while they all left for work. He was looking casually around the studio viewing the tattoos when Tory started to apply some cream on the tattoo.

"Are you looking for a tattoo for me if I lose?" I asked him as my eyes were following him when he looked around.

"I already know what you will get," he said confidently his eyes lingering on the depleted samples.

"I'm guessing you're not going to tell me" he nodded and I saw Tory smirk above me while her hand was slowly applying the cream.

"Your playing with fire" she whispered making me snort "I'm not afraid to get burned" I whispered back just when Eric's attention was back to us.

"You know what I think your tattoo will be?" he shook his head. "Flowers….pink flowers, maybe butterflies," I said and pretended to wonder looking away from him but I could see him tensing. "Maybe a butterfly on a flower and hears. Will that ruin your image?"

Tory burst out laughing shaking her head as she withdrawn her hand and patted my shoulder "You're all done and I'll wait for you both soon. It will be my pleasure to tattoo the looser"

"Maybe a unicorn on your whole back" I continued as I stood up. Eric's jaw tightened and he was very quick to grab my shoulder and push me toward the door.

"Thank you, Tory," he said quickly.

"Wait, I didn't pay!"

"Don't worry it's taking care of" Tory winked at me before she chucked and shaking her head disappeared into the back area. Eric kept pushing me toward the door and stopped just when we were out.

He turned toward me not saying anything but his eyes were strangely proud full when his gaze lingering on my neck. A small smile threatened to appear on his face and I knew that was the closest thing I could get from him in a form of praising.

"Now you're one of us. " he finally said making me trail my finger on the sensitive skin. I liked the tattoo. It hurt when it was done, it was still hurting but it was worth it. Now I was one of them for sure, wearing it like a badge of pride with head held high. "It suits you" he tilted his head to the side as his eyes were lingering on the black ink, mopping every detail.

"Was that a compliment!" I gasped.

"I told you, it was a one-time thing," he said rather annoyed and started walking back the way we came. I was sure this sudden urge to leave was because he was trying the fact that he did indeed compliment me. Smirkingly I started walking behind him, ignoring the surprised and curious faces that we passed, when people saw my tattoo.

"Whatever you say it still sounded like a compliment."

"Tomorrow Max will announce your promotion at breakfast and then in the evening there will be a party in your honor" he continued talking, ignoring completely what I said.

"Val, congrats"

I nodded back at the man who spoke as he walked right past us and he wasn't the only one that congratulated me. Some of them I knew, some of them I didn't so I had to look back at Eric for some information. He would either give it to me or shrug telling me that he didn't really care about the names of the people. And as I walked toward my apartment and caught the stares of the people I couldn't help myself of being smug and proud that I was a leader and they weren't. Sure I was still below Eric even though we are the same age, he was more experienced in the leadership here than I was.

.

Loud applause and banging noises erupted the minute my foot stepped into the dining area the next day. Very stupid of me to miss the announcement but I didn't like the attention anyway, not that now people weren't giving it to me.

Among the smiling faces that cheered for me and congratulated me as I made my way in, there were a few faces among the crowd, that were frowning and throwing daggers my way. It was a natural reaction for those who envy me for power and now the position I hold but that only made the smile on my face bigger as I dramatically made a curtsy, making people laugh around me.

I approached the usual table where Four, Tris, Chris and the others, including initiates sat, ignoring the angry looks they were giving me still riled up of the fact that I stuck my nose in Zeke and Shauna business. Walking past them with my head held high I sat down on the leader's table between Monic and Eric, who was in a deep conversation with Harrison.

"What's up with them? They all look like they ate something sour" whispered Monic as her eyes were on the table I just walked past.

I shrugged "Might have insisted on something that apparently wasn't my place to know and the fact that now I'm a leader, might have got them in this strange but amusing mood"

She snickered beside me paying attention to her breakfast, just when a cup of coffee was slide in front of me. Looking at Eric who pretended like he didn't just offered coffee like some kind of peace offering and took a sip from his cup while his eyes remained on something in front of him.

"They're giving you the cold shoulder" he murmured so quietly that if I wasn't looking at his face to see his lips moving I might not have heard it.

"It was expected"

"You're not angry?" he knew the answer but still he asked.

I narrowed my eyes at him "Why should I? I'm now higher rank than them if they 're going to look at me like that just because I succeeded in something they don't deserve to be close to me"

The end of his lips turned up and down like he was fighting between amusement and his mask.

"Well said, Eric number two" his strong hand connected with my back just when I was taking a sip of coffee, making me gasp from surprise and cough as the coffee went the wrong way.

"Like you expect of me to care what the others think of me," I said once I calmed down.

"I don't. I was just curious to see how you'll react once you're 'friends' shun you from their group, just because you became a leader"

"Well, I don't care the slightest. I'm not the one to live my life differently just because a bunch of people doesn't see it the way I do. I couldn't care less what they think or what anyone thinks. I like what I am and what I do, so they can shove it"

By the end of it, Monic was clapping silently next to me, Harrison was looking in amusement and Eric looked proud. Which was strange how often I see this kind of emotion on him but after all if anyone could be proud and smug about me being a leader, it would be Eric.

"Nice speech" he mocked as he resumed his breakfast.

* * *

 ** _Eric_**

The music was blasting through the speakers and the familiar vibration was pulsing through my body as I was sitting alone on the bar, drinking beer. There was constant chatter all around me, people trying to out speak the music.

A group of people stood on the far end of the room, sucking up to the new leader, desperate to get in her good graces. They were smiling and laughing at every word she said as if it was the funniest thing they had ever heard. They thought they had her with their fake friendliness but little did they know that her smiling face was fake too. They didn't even know how they were manipulated into thinking their tricks work, just so she could get something in return out of them.

Most people that knew her would see right through her wide smile and sparkle with 'excitement' eyes but those who didn't are easily drawn into her trap.  
"What are you smirking about?" Mikes voice came beside me as he too looked the way I was and smirked himself.

"Fakers" I simply replied averting my attention to the beer in my hands.

"Which one, Valeria or the group around her?"

"Both"

He laughed taking a sip of his whiskey "She looks like she is making friends"

I scoffed "She is manipulating them into thinking they could be friends. Later when she needs something she'll use them"

He looked like he didn't believe me. He wouldn't use people like Valeria or I would do. He was happy with the little friends and accuracies he had and he knew wherever he needed something he would get it from them. But for people like me and Val was a little bit harder. We didn't have friends and they weren't needed. All the people in here could potentially do something useful for you if you just know how to fake solicitude and manipulate.

"You make her more heartless than she is"

I narrowed my eye at him "She is that heartless, you just don't see it and people here don't see it too." He looked at me for a minute like he was trying to figure out what to say to me before he shrugged and changed the topic.

Not long enough something red beside me caught my attention. Valeria was leaning on the bar with a smiling sweetly at the bartender, a smile that I knew all too well and with amusement, I watch how he caught himself into the web as the others.

"Can you make me a martini?" she asked sweetly at him and his attention was on her the moment she spoke totally forgetting the people that came here before her.

I elbowed Mike just in time when the man on the other side of the bar smiled at her, his eyes lingering on her face and the black dress that was hugging her slim body. I didn't blame him, who could resist that and even though he was older than me he was just as quick to get caught in her trap as the others. "Sure, baby"

"Can you put two olives?" she asked batting her eyelashes at him and I could barely contain my laugh as the magic worked right before my eyes. He nodded frantically and started pouring the alcohol. That gave time for Val to turn toward me and smirk, replacing the sweetness with mischievousness. I couldn't help but admire how easy for her it was. A true female version of me.

"Hey sweetheart, nice tattoo"

"Thank you, comes with more perks. Like now I can order you to do shit for me" she said with a hint of threat in her voice.

Mike laughed beside me "Wash your underwear?"

"You wish"

They both laughed at the joke but I was watching the barman, who was throwing looks at Val. He placed the martini in front of her and she didn't waste time on getting the toothpick out of the glass and slide one of the olives between her teeth while watching the guy straight in the eyes as she did so. His Adam apple bobbed at the sign of her eating the olive before she broke the spell by turning around. No doubt that he had a hard-on just by this. Hell, I had one just from looking at those lips going around the olive.

"Thank you," she said and started walking but before she got any further she threw me a quick look and smirked.

"Damn, I want her so bad" sighed the bartender and Mike burst out laughing beside me, totally aware of what just happened. The man before us gave a scolding look at Mike and I couldn't hide the small chuckle that escaped my lips.

"So naïve," said between laughter Mike.

"You don't even know what just happened" I shook my head and lifted up the beer bottle toward my lips, trying to hide the smile on my face. But the look on the man in front of us was too good to miss. His eyes were shifting between me and Mike like he couldn't understand what were we talking about.

"What you think I can't get her for a night?"

We both started laughing more, catching the attention of a few people around us.

"I like to see you try" I dared him taking a sip from my beet once more. He scoffed as he glared at me. He was definitely getting pissed.

"Okay, you'll see. Look she is coming again" he nodded in front of him, just when the redhead once again leaned on the bar and the charm was turned on.

"Sorry, my friend wants one of those girly, pinky cocktails if you can make one?" batting her eyelashes. He smirked at us and started to mix the alcohol.

"What is so funny?"

"Ah, the bartender told us a joke" answered Mike wiping a few tears from his eyes.

"So…um…" the bartender started catching Val's attention as he shook the incidence in the shaker. "I might get off work soon and we can go to my place if you want. You know celebrate properly your leadership" he too turned on his charm but by the look on Valeria's face, it wasn't that efficient as hers.

"No"

Mike barely held his laughter beside me turning his head in the other direction so no one would see him but his body was giving him out from all of the shakings. I, on the other hand, was grinning widely at the man in front of me as I watched him struggle to comprehend the sudden rejection.

"You decline me just like that?" the man leaned on their faces inches from one another as he placed the pinky looking cocktail in front of her. He was trying to stay calm smiling at her charmingly.

"I just did" she smirked, straightened her back and grabbed the glass before turning around. Before she could make one step away I grabbed her empty hand and pulled her toward me so I could get close to her ear. Instantly smelling the apple scent coming from her curly hair.

"I have an answer to your question"

"Which one?" her green eyes landed on mine and for a minute I forgot what I wanted to say to her.

"I want a just one-night stand, no strings attached, no emotions. Just sex"

Her brow rose "just that?"

"Just that, nothing afterword." I whispered once again in her ear and boldly kissed the spot below it just so I could feel how she stiffened.

"I'll think about it" she whispered like she was fighting a moan and tried to walk away but I still held her hand.

"I'm going to be in my apartment after an hour"

"Good to know" she winked and slipped from my grasp and walked away. Turning toward the bar I could see the guy behind it looking not so pleased as I was but who could blame him not everyone can handle Valeria.

.

One hour and a few minutes later I was sitting on my couch with a beer in my hand, waiting like some idiot for a girl to come. If she even come. For some reason, I was fine with either way. I wasn't going to mope just because she didn't come to warm my bed for one night and I wasn't going to complain if she did.

Some part of me wanted her to come so I could finally get her out of my mind since the first kiss we shared and then the make-out session that was playing on repeat in my head. Determined to do what Mike advised me to do, I sat here waiting for her and I didn't wait long as the knock on the door pulled me out of my thought.

I opened the door and there she was standing tall in front of me, with her black dress that showed every curve of her body, good amount of cleavage and few freely above those long legs in black heels that made me even more thirsty to have them around me. Her long red hair falling on curls around her tattooed neck and I would be damned if that tattoo didn't make her sexier than she was.

Smirking I made a step toward her but her hand flew between us stopping my advantages.

"Just sex, nothing more." I nodded frantically making one more step toward her, desperate to get my hands on her "No strings attached" I nodded again my eyes never leaving hers. Her stern face finally softened. I pulled her toward me, entwining my fingers in her red curls as I collided my lips with hers.

Once again I was met with the sweetness of her lips and her tongue, tasting the martinis she had drank. Her small hands went around my body pulling me close to her like she was holding a lifeline. Without much thinking and breaking the kiss I pulled her in closing the door behind her and pushing her into it like I had done before. She let out a gasp when her back hit the door but didn't break the kiss which I was so hungry for. Finally, I finally have her in my hands and she was not going anywhere tonight.

She was like a drug that I couldn't get enough of and every little sound she was making as I kissed and nipped the inked latter on her neck, was just one more dose that was slowly driving me into insanity. I was sober this time, but I felt intoxicated by the taste of her lips and skin. My hands were roaming over her body playing with the hem of her dress before pulling it up, reviling her smooth skin and toned body that was no doubt made with all of the training.

Wasting no more time I gripped her quickly, pulling her up off the floor and pushing her more into the door. Her long legs went around my waist as she gasped from the sudden feeling of my erection pressing into her core, so close, only a few material separating us. I heard her shoes falling with a loud thud on the floor behind me, but no one seemed to mind. Her hands gripped my shoulders for leverage but soon one of them traveled up, moving past the buzzed hair and entwining in the long lock before pulling my head into a hungry kiss, making me groan into her mouth as our tongues dance around each other.

Tightening my grip on her I pulled her body toward me and with quick steps I walked into the bedroom while I felt her lips on my neck, kissing the tattoo there as I did. Reaching the bed she slipped out of my grasp taking a few steps back away from me with a mischievous smile that was no good. Quickly, before she could run away from me I grabbed her waist turning her around so her back could hit my chest. Her butt went on my crouch as she rubbed herself, knowing very well what she was doing to me. Her head instantly leaned on my shoulder giving me better access to her neck as if she was begging me for a kiss or a nip and I gladly gave her that. I trailed my hands around her body watching her melt into my arms before the tension was too much and the zipper of her dress went down with one swift motion. Soon after followed by the whole dress as it pooled around her legs. Smirking she turned toward me giving me a better view of her body, something that was denied to me last time and didn't waste time exploring every inch of it as she did too, gliding her hands down my chest until she reached the hem of the T-shirt and slid her warm hands inside.

But I didn't want to play games with her and pushed her swiftly on the bed, her back hitting the soft mattress as her red curls spread on my black sheets and I could see her fighting a giggle. Green eyes were watching me lustfully as I stripped down leaving nothing but my boxers and they continue to watch me as I crawled toward her, fining my spot between her open legs and laying on top of her, burying my head in her neck.

Her legs went around my hips once more, moving hers in a desperate attempt to create some friction between us, but that left her only gasping and moaning, even more, digging her nails in my shoulders as I bit down her neck.

Ever since that first kiss, I wondered what she would feel like to be beneath me, struggling to catch her breath as I was the reason why. Now, hands were exploring every inch of her body desperate to learn what spot and where made her moan and the sweet sounds she was making into my ear were my guidance.

I wasn't sure why I was so eager to learn every little sensitive spot on her. But here I was unclasping her bra and throwing it on the floor as I cupped her breasts and pulling one of her nipples into my mouth, slowly bitting and sucking it. She arched her back into me, moaning my name as I bit down even harder just to hear it again. Everything in her body called for me and I couldn't help but react to her and do more just so she could squirm and grip my hair.

I've never paid attention to the others that were in my bed but there was something in her that pushed me from day one to learn everything there was about here and uncover the mystery that was Valeria.

And here she was moaning and purring beneath me as I break down her walls and explore her true self.

My hands gripped the laces on her panties pulling them down in one swift motion before leaning down quickly, she gasped but a sigh of disappointment broke from her as my lips landed on her thigh, moving to the next one ignoring the spot in between.

"Fucking, these" she hissed making me smirk into her skin, bitting a little spot so close to her wet core. She tensed and wrapped her hands in my hair. "Eric"  
I hummed, pleased with my name escaping her lips like that. Deciding to not let her struggle too much my lips finally reached the spot as I nipped the sensitive flesh there, hearing her squirm and tightening the grip on my hair.

With every little lick or bite, she was tensing, even more, making her even wetter than she was in the beginning.

"Please!" she gasped and I was finding it very difficult to keep up the teasing when I wanted was be inside her.

"Fuck this" I made a quick decision, pulling down my own underwear and covering her body with mine, liking the feeling of her naked body on mine. With one hand on her hip lifting her up enough for me to position myself I buried my face in her neck as I heard her gasp from anticipation.

"Tell me your on some kind of serum"

She nodded frantically as if she didn't trust her voice and her hands gripping my back. With one quick thrust, I entered her warmth, groaning into her ear as she arched her back, her nails digging into my skin. I didn't mind, all I wanted was to thrust into her more just so I could hear her moan. The need to find every little sensitive spot on her body emerged once again as I kept thrusting into her quickly, hitting the sweet spot that made her tighten around me.

"Fuck, Val!" I groaned biting down on her neck making her tighten even more. I never thought that would feel so intense with her. Her body was reacting with mine in a full synchrony as if they knew what the other wanted and needed. Was it because we were so similar or some kind of attraction? I wasn't sure. All I knew right now was that with every thrust I was craving her even more like some drug addict that couldn't quit and I became desperate to push her to her limit just so I could see her getting higher and come crashing down. And when she did, screaming my name and digging her nails into my skin, I watched her –sevouring the view of her coming around me and I craved more. Soon after her, I came too with one last thrust.

Leaning my forehead to hers, I looked at her green eyes once filled with lust and need, now replaced by calmness and sleep. We were both trying to catch our breaths as I trailed my finger through her parted lips, stealing for what seemed to be the last kiss. It wasn't passioned or urged as minutes ago, it was sweeter and affectioned like the one I stole in the infirmary when I watched her sleep and I couldn't help myself.

My mind was already on a full speed telling me all the things I'd done or felt with her, that were different from the others but I chose to ignore it as I moved to lay next to her, pulling her into my body. She placed her head on my chest, her legs entwining with mine and I couldn't care less, that I was cuddling her. I allowed myself this simple thing, that wasn't unusual for us when no one but us could see it.

As minutes went by, her breath evened out and I found myself bringing my nose toward her head, breathing in her sent before laying a small kiss. Finally, I allowed myself to relax and fell asleep.

* * *

 ** _I could have definitely_ _written_ _it better. But I found myself struggling in the first person and since it was my first sex scene-ish, I think I did descend._**  
 ** _And don't kill me, they will walk around each other for a bit more. I have a plan of how things are going to go with their relationship so bare with me. I know that maybe it's annoying but both of them, as I said before,_ _are_ _very stubborn and Eric is new to the whole thing emotion related._**


	28. War Games

_**Happy New Year, everyone! Now that the holidays ended I'll be posting more frequently. I'm sorry for making you wait.**_  
 _ **Also, there is some steamy stuff at the end, you know, the usual... I don't know if you guys want to know this stuff but I'm saying it anyway.**_

* * *

I distant voice calling my name pulled me out of my slumber. My eyes focused on a dark figure looming above the bed. The room was dark and the only light was coming from the moon. It felt like I few asleep just a few minutes ago and by the look of the moon still standing high in the sky, I would guess it was still pretty early for me to wake up.

"Val, come on. We have to be fast" I heard his voice once again as his fingers brushed a few fallen locks of hair on my face and tug them behind my ear. I groaned in disapproval and snuggle closer to the dark sheets that smelled like him. He chuckled lowly and I felt his thumb against my cheek.

"For someone who wakes up every time before I do It's very hard for me to wake you up now"

My eyes lazily opened as I focused once again on him, I didn't register up until now that he was fully clothed, all in black, masking himself in the shadows even more. He looked like he was ready for combat and suddenly my instincts kicked in making me sit up. Ignoring the fact that if there was something going on he wouldn't have woke me up that calmly as he did.

"What's wrong?" I asked frantically as I felt the sheet slipping from my naked body revealing the perfect view for him. I saw his eyes gazing at me and a devilish smirk forming on his face, when it hit me that there was no trouble anywhere, we weren't attacked or people needed me in the infirmary.

"Come on, dress up. " He ordered switching up to his bossy side as he threw my clothes in my hands. I was still confused looking around for something to tell me what time it was, but nothing here could tell me. Eric stepped out of the room and soon I heard the kitchen cabinets opening and closing.

I suppressed a yawn as I slowly dressed up and laced my boots. Dragging my legs to Eric's kitchen I took the coffee he offered and took a sip, enjoying the feeling of the smell and the warmth that spread into my body.

"You wanna tell me why I feel like we just fell asleep?"

"Because we slept for just a few hours" he answered simply, sipping his coffee but he was watching something in front of him, ignoring me.

"So, you wanna tell me why are we up?"

"No"

I groaned and rubbed my eyes, desperate to shoo off the slumber and the frustration that was creeping in. It was too early or late for me to deal with Eric right now. Typically I would be out his door in first light so I wouldn't have that awkward conversation in the morning or any other conversation with him, it was easy to pretend like nothing happened, even though it had been happening for more than one time now. But today for some reason he was the first one to wake up.

He looked at his watch on his hand and nodded toward the door "Come on, I'll let you wake up the initials" he said with an evil grin on his face, knowing what to say to make the frustration that I had on him, go away. He placed his cup in the sink, taking mine and placing it next to his before he started to walk out the door confident of himself that I would follow without a question and I did.

I wasn't sure why we would we wake up the initiates so early but I wasn't the one to complain about it. The compound was strangely empty at this time of the day or night. It felt very abandoned like the most parts of the town.

Four was already standing in front of the dormitories with Tris. They didn't look at me for more than I minute before their eyes averted to something more interesting than me- the floor.

"Let's wake them up," said Four and started to walk but Eric's big hand collided with his shoulder stopping him from entering the room.

"Valeria will do it" there was no place for objection in his voice and when Four eyed me questionably he sighed and gave me the pipe that he was holding.

"Guess your protégé has the honor"

I smiled smugly taking the pipe in my hands and walking confidently in the room. Looking back at the corridor toward Eric I waited for him to nod before I turned back to the dark room filled with bud beds. The sound of two pipes colliding together echoed through the silent room and I couldn't hold the smile that formed on my face when I heard the grumping and moaning coming from the initiates.

"Wake up!" Eric's voice echoed behind me "I want you all near the tracks in ten minutes" he ordered and I saw a few of the initiates actually starting to stir up. At least my wake up call was somewhat sweeter and tender. I smirked back as I started walking behind Eric, shoving the pipe in Fours hands when I walked past him.

Outside there was a cool wind that hit my face waking up more than the coffee that I drank. Even if it was summer it was still in the middle of the night and there was this slight chill in the air. I hugged myself in my jacket as I stood beside Eric, waiting for the initiates. I tried to ask questions but that was pointless since he won't answer me.

"Are you wearing weapons on you?" he broke the silence as he threw me a quick look.

"Yes, always. Why?"

"Percussions"

"Factionless?"

He nodded in answer and shove a small box of something in my hands. My eyes landed on the familiar colorful balls and my eyes lit up. "Paintball?!" I almost yelled. "We're going paintballing?"

He smirked back at me before he pushed a gun in my hands too and his face quickly changed into his mask when the first few initiates started to pile up with a few Dauntless members, including Four and Tris.

"Get a box and a gun" Four ordered and waited patiently as they did so. I couldn't believe that there was still paintball. I loved to play it at the beginning of my teenage years. I still didn't have that many friends but that didn't stop me from having fun when they opened a paintball in the town. I have to admit that that was where I started to gain my experience with firing weapons and practice my aim.

The train soon came and we all jumped in into a car. I was standing beside Eric, who was leaning on one of the walls near the open door and glanced around the initiates who looked more loss than I was.

"The game is Capture the flag." raised his voice Eric once everyone was settled around him and Four "Two teams, Four and I are captains"

"Whoever captures the enemy's flag wins" continued Four as if they practiced the whole speech "This is a Dauntless tradition so I suggest you take it seriously. This will also determine your place on the board"

Eric and Four started to call out names of the initiates, picking them on their teams. One by one every initiate took his place beside his leader. Watching the exchange between them and paying close attention to the name calling I could clearly see one more thing that separated both of them. Four had his team with fast and slender people, while Eric was leaning more toward the build and heavy initiates who are good at the fighting and shooting.

Looking at both teams I had to frown. I didn't agree entirely with Eric's team nor with Four's. If I had to choose I would have made a team with a mixture of both teams. Have someone who was fast and thin, so he could dodge and sneak unseen but at the same time have someone who is more tanky, fighting at the front line, distracting the enemy.

"Members now" reminded Eric. "Four?"

Four's eyes shifted between the members currently in the car. I was sure he was going to choose Tris, after all, she was his girlfriend and I know that during her initiation he picked her and won. His eyes moved from Tris and landed on me standing next to Eric.

"Valeria" he called and I stiffened on my spot. The whole car became silent only the sound of the train on the tracks could fill the silence. I crocked an eyebrow at Eric as if asking permission. He let out a dark laugh, that was nothing close to his genuine one that I was used to hearing.

"Divide and conquer I see" he spoke as Four looked quite smug with himself "You know I don't need her to win, right?"

Four shrugged "I know, but the chances of you winning are less now when she is with me" Eric laughed again before nodding me toward Four.

"Go then"

I felt all eyes on me as I started walking uneasy toward Four and taking the side next to him. I felt strange standing on the other side of the car looking at Eric who seemed unfazed by it, then why should I. We were here to play and win no matter on which team I was.

They resumed their name calling afterwords as Tris was after all in Four's team. And after a minute of deciding who would jump first, Four was ready to jump with his whole team behind him. I stood patiently watching as every one of them started to jump out of the car and landing on their feet or rolling. Just when I was about to jump and hand gripped mine tightly, pulling me toward a body. He buried his face in my neck whispering in my ear as the words were muffled by the train on the tracks and the gushing wind that blew in my face. Looking up my eyes connected with his silver ones, slowly nodding my head I jumped out of the train, landing on my feet before I rejoined my group.

Four eyed me suspiciously.

"Don't look at me like that, he wasn't happy that you got me" he was skeptical but gathered his team and started walking toward an abandoned pier. The pier as the city itself felt ghostly and old. Once filled with life and laughter, many lights and sweet smells, different music coming from different rides and booths. Now the abandoned booths were empty, the rides were rusty and crooked, gone was the sweet smell and the only light was coming from the moon. On the far end of the park, standing tall was the fairs wheel, looking more ominous than ever. It saddened me that I would probably never experience the rides or the carnival atmosphere for that matter.

"Can you imagine all these things back then. They look scary" someone whispered next to me like he was scared of awakening something that shouldn't be awakened.

"They weren't that scary, there were rides scarier than that," I said walking past the surprised faces and reaching up Four, who walked at front. "Hey, I know that we're not in good terms right now but let's leave everything behind us and focus on the game."

He threw me a quick look like he was trying to figure out if I was genuine or not.

"Truce?" I offered my hand. He hesitated for a second before he shook it, making me smile.

"Okay, let's stop here. Assemble a plan of action" he said and as on cue, the group started to chatter at full speed. Everyone yelling their suggestions. I staid back seemingly bored because none of them knew what they were doing and if this was a true situation their stupid way of thinking would get them killed. I looked at Four who looked with the same way I did. After a minute of planning and deciding that we would hide the flag in the clock tower, I finally spoke.

"I'll guard the flag"

Everyone turned toward me, some looked even offended. "And why should be you of all people?" a girl asked.

"Let's be honest. I'm the only one here, expect Four maybe, that could fight off Eric" I shrugged. They seemed to considered it for a minute before they agreed. And that was how I ended up guarding the flag as both teams were fighting on the pier. My hands were itching to be at the action but I was one more thing other than fighter – rogue.

Heavy footsteps going up the wooden latter that caught my attention and I immediately took the stances with my gun ready, pointed at the trap door, that swung open revealing Eric, who had his gun raised too.

He consciously stepped toward me with a smirk on his face. Seeing him I dropped my gun watching him confidently as he still approached me with his gun raised.  
"Good girl" he praised me, his voice low as he lowered his weapon and started walking toward the flag. My hand flew quickly catching his hand, stopping him from advancing. He threw me a questioned look, lifting his pierced eyebrow. "We have a deal, Val"

"I want something in return" I smirked. He took a few steps closer to me as I made a few steps back, hitting the wall. His eyes never leaving mine, hypnotizing me as he stopped in front of me towering with his build body. I always felt small when he did that, that was the point after all, but not when he was watching me like this. That look I only saw when he knew he would get something out of it and especially when he knew he would get me.

"And what would that be Val?" he asked seductively, bringing his lips near my ear as I leaned my head on the wall taking a deep breath. He wasn't touching me but he didn't have to in order for my body to ignite with need.

"I want…" I began "you to give me the most mindblowing orgasm when we go back" I smirked trailing a finger along his chest where his jacket was unzipped. I looked at his silver eyes and I knew I had him, just from the sight of the lustful look he gave me. He groaned lowly and lowered his head to my neck, nipping the spot below the ear, before he whispered.

"Deal"

With a step back he broke the spell as he started walking toward the flag. Just then quick steps were heard coming from the stairs as I took the stands pointing my gun at the trap door. Four emerged from there his eyes quickly shifting between me and Eric who was close to the flag. He made a split minute decision where he raised his gun toward Eric but I was quicker shooting him twice. The impact was hard and he slumped into the floor gasping for air, his eyes filled with betrayal landed on me as the cheers of celebrations echoed around us, telling us that Eric had the flag.

"What the hell Val?" he spat out still looking at me, just when Eric stepped with a smug expression on his face.

"No hard feelings, number boy" I shrugged

"You underestimated where her loyalties lay, Four" Eric averted his eyes off him and look at me his smug expression still on his face. "Come on, we have one last stop before we go" he nodded toward the trap door and I made my way downstairs smiling widely, hearing Eric's heavy footsteps behind me.

"What happened?" someone from Four's team rushed toward me and when she saw that I wasn't covered in paint or bruised up from fighting her eyes hardened before they looked up. Eric's hand went on my back urging me to go toward his cheerful team.

"Let that be a lesson for you all. There always going to be one who would betrayal you or a rogue among you." He spoke with authority as I couldn't contain the smug expression on my face as I passed the dumbfounded initiates. Tris rushed past us and up the stairs to aid Four. Eric's team looked smug as well despite Four's who look like they couldn't believe what they were hearing and seeing.

I expected earlier for them to question my decision as protector of the flag but that never happened. Their unfaith in themselves in taking down Eric, made them chose the safety path, which led them to defeat and now they had to endure the bragging.

Overall I was pleased with how things went. Not because I got something out of it but because I get to teach them the fact that nothing and no one seems as it is and should be trusted. And of course get to rub it in Four's face afterword.

It didn't take me long enough to figure out that the small group that I was following, with Eric firmly pushing me, was not going toward the tracks. Confusion once again swept over me and I turned questionably toward Eric but just, as usual, his gaze was locked in front of him and he ignored my question.

The sun was barely peaking on the horizon when a small group led by a Dauntless member entered the Hancock building. I slightly registered the fact that it was mentioned before among the members but I for the death of me I couldn't remember what we could do here. I wanted to ask what were we doing here, but Eric was walking a few steps in front of me and I knew well that he wouldn't answer them anyway.

He was the first to enter the elevator that somehow had power. I didn't question that. If you want something there was always a way to make it work. He leaned on the far wall of the elevator as I stood in front of him, not very close but close enough, considering the flow of people that were eager to enter.

"Wait for the next one!" yelled Lynn as she saw more people pushing their way in, no one paying attention to her threatening voice. It was starting to feel cramped up in the small space and the door wasn't even closed yet. I had to make a step back to reassure that there was space for everyone and to escape the bodies of known and unknown getting in my personal space. I didn't register that when I made the step I hit hard body behind me. A strong arm grabbed my waist pulling me closer to the body as the last person entered the small box and the door slid close. We slowly started moving up as the hand on my waist started to play absentmindedly with my clothes.

I was glad that there was barely any space in here and everyone was talking quietly among themselves, their eyes straight ahead, that no one saw the small gesture. Even when I slightly leaned into him and rubbed my ass against his crotch. I knew I had him when the rough hand finally found naked skin, below the layers of clothing, and gripped it tightly. A low groan was heard behind me masked by a cough and I could barely hold my smile. Two could play that game.

"Your not playing fair" I felt him whisper in my ear which pushed me to repeat the move one more time. I wanted to tell him that I'd never played fair, so what was the point in starting now but the unfazed of what was happening people might hear that. Of course, my tease totally backed fired when his hand started to move covering my stomach and sliding dangerously down.

A part of me wanted to learn more into him and just let him do what he had in mind, not caring that we weren't alone. Another part of me wanted to shove his hand and let him know that this was dangerously close to getting caught and I didn't like it.

His hand continued to go down barely where I wanted him to be and the tension of his touch was killing me slowly, making my legs into jello. I had to clear my throat to suppress the moan that was threatening to escape and I felt his body shook behind me with a silent chuckle. Closing my eyes, I tried to compose myself but his hand was too distracting, sliding lower and lower until it stopped and withdraw quickly. My eyes shot open just when the door to the elevator slid open and everyone started to get out. The body behind me slid right past me, revealing Eric with a shit eating grin on his face, making me angry that I let myself being teased like that.

"Tease!" I hissed quietly as I stepped out of the elevator pulling myself out of the trance I was.

"You're the one to talk" he scoffed "Just a preview of your prise later"

I took a deep breath trying to compose the burning need to just get him somewhere dark and alone. I felt very exposed to him right now. Somehow he was able to surface this emotion in me and I found it very hard to keep them behind the mask. I could see the same from him when we were alone, I know he wouldn't show them otherwise.

He started walking leading me to an open space in the building. Like a chunk of the building just came off leaving a huge gaping hole with a hundred story drop. The view itself was breathtaking and I found myself smitten by how the barely morning light awoke the sleeping city.

I followed Eric as he started to climb a suspicious looking latter that I felt like it barely held his weight but I figure since it was still there then it won't fall. Once up to the into the open landing I could see a zip line going across and down the whole city leaving me with a mouth wide open.

I never thought that this could be possible or get to experience something like this and when the first person was strapped and pushed I knew that this for sure was something I wanted to experience.

I stood behind, patiently waiting for the initiates to go first, watching their excitement and uneasiness.

"Where is Four?" I asked Eric who was standing behind me like a guard with straightened back and crossed hands in front of his chest.

"He's scared of heights" he whispered with an evil smile on his face.

"And how do you know that?"

He shrugged "I observe" his hand went on my lower back pushing toward the zip line "come on, it's your turn"

My smile grew bigger the more I approached and the adrenalin was pumping through my veins. I had my fair share of stunts that brought me into this state but nothing could compare to the anticipation from the glide. It was true what they say. Dauntless are adrenalin junkies.

Quickly I was strapped, head first and before I knew it, I was flying. The cold air was hitting my face, like small needles but I couldn't care less. I let out a free laugh as I was flying between buildings. And I felt alive and free like I had never felt before. I knew that all it took was one strap to break and I would be flying toward my death but that only brought more enjoyment into the experience. It had to happen something bad to destroy the whole city, to separate people into factions, just for someone to experience this and all the sorrow I had since I came here went flying away in this moment.

It all ended faster than I wanted. The line stopped and I was brought down. Everyone around me was hyped and happy, and I for once felt like I was where I belonged.

As we made our way back everyone was quiet. The adrenalin was now sustaining and the tiredness was overtaking. The sun finally started to rise above the horizon, beginning a new day, when Eric and I walked toward our floor.

"Did you have fun?"

"I did but you have to promise me to bring me back to the zip line," I said eagerly as I watch his lip curl at the end, that was the only confirmation I needed from him before he grabbed my hand I pulled me toward his apartment.

"Come on, I still have to pay my end of the bargain"

"After all you won because of me." I teased him more as I entered his apartment. It felt strange that I was here just a few hours back, I didn't know that I would be coming back so soon.

"Yeah I don't think so," he said as he closed the door and his hands eagerly unzipped my jacket. We both started walking toward the bedroom, me going backward pretending not to notice how my clothing went down one by one.

"Without me, you wouldn't have won," I said casually as I entered his bedroom, his hands working on the button and the zipper on my pants, my T-shirt and boots were laying somewhere in the hall.

"As I said I don't need you to win" he groaned his attention on the pants as he slipped them down with one swift motion. I stepped out of them and made a few steps back, getting out of Eric's grasp.

"So I can deny you sex, then?"

He stopped his approach toward me and looked at me questionably "What, you don't want your reward?"

He got me. I stopped going away from him considering if my pride was worth one more time with him and considering what was my end of the bargain I couldn't push myself, even if I wanted to, to dress and leave. He, of course, knew that as he started to strip himself, leaving just his boxers on, stalking me with a smirk on his face.

"That's what I thought"

His hand went into my hair pulling me for a hungry kiss as his other hand went around my waist bringing me closer to his body, letting me know how bad he wanted me. My own hands went around him as if to hold myself from falling. His other hand wandered over my body gripping my breast before unclipping my bra and throwing it away. He wasted no more time breaking the kiss and pushing me down on the bed. He stopped for a second as if he was admiring me spread on his bed before he covered my body with his. His lips on my neck sending jolts in my body, his rough hands roaming everywhere leaving me breathless and for the second time tonight I felt more than alive.

"You have no idea what I wanted to do to you in the elevator" he groaned, trailing hot kisses down my body, between my breast, my stomach, below the lace panties which were quickly removed probably because they were on his way. Spreading my legs eagerly he placed his mouth on me, sucking and biting forcefully like he was in a hurry or like he couldn't hold himself anymore. I wasn't complaining. I was melting as always under his touch, panting quickly as my body jerked every time his tongue swiped through the sensitive spot.

My hands went in his hair the second he plunged a finger into me, followed by a second one. I heard him groan as he kept thrusting his fingers and nipping the sensitive bud, making me arch my body with a loud moan. "Fuck, your so wet" He groaned and I felt the tension building up in the pit of my stomach.  
Quickly he rose up, lying on top of me once again but his fingers still moved in and out of me, only this time his lips were on my neck.

"Are you ready for your prise, baby?" he groaned in my ear as I eagerly nodded, not trusting my voice. I felt him smile darkly as his thumb swiped the sensitive bud building up the tightness in my stomach even more. I felt my walls around his fingers tighten the second he bit my neck. Throwing my head back and screaming his name I felt the release wash over me.

"That was so hot!" he murmured and quickly pulled down his boxers releasing his erection. He didn't let me come down from my orgasm as he entered me in one swift motion, during his head in my neck. I held him tightly, raking my nails on his back as he took me hard. There was nothing tender in it only raw pent-up feeling that left me breathless and wanting more. Maybe that was why I couldn't get enough of him and I had to swallow my pride to come again to him after that first night. Now like a big addict I came back for more. We broke the first rule 'just one-night stand' the moment I needed my fix and stood in front of his door just days after that first night. I could see that he wanted me too but I knew he was too stubborn to seek me out and I was too weak to deny myself this. After all, it was just sex, nothing more. Just this raw feeling of wanting release.

I felt the tightness in my stomach once again growing as he hit just the right spot with such brutalness, making me throw my head back gasping.

"I'll give you one more bonus"

"Please" I begged and I felt him getting close. Just from that thought, I tightened myself around him as I came with his name once again on my lips. With one last thrust, he came inside me with a grunt.

We were both breathing heavily as his lips resumed the once forgotten kisses on my neck, this time more tenderly.

"Don't get shirtless for a while" I advised him, letting my hands fall down on the bed as I felt him chuckle his body shaking.

"Can't I wear them like badges?" he murmured letting his hand wander slowly on my body. "Besides, you don't let them heal properly"

"It's your fault for that"

"I don't see you complaining" he lifted his head to see my expression. He looked very handsome like that. His blond hair falling on his face, some locks stuck on his sweaty forehead, breathless, his eyes that were filled with hunger now were tender. I lift my head up just to trail small kisses from his jaw down his tattooed neck. Everything in me screamed to him, from his piercings and tattoos to his body.

"No, I am not" I whispered in his ear. He lied beside me, pulling me closer to him not before he covered us with the black sheets. Relaxing into his embrace I once again found myself so safe in his hands. Feeling the small kiss on my head I drifted off to sleep.

I woke up hours later curled up into Eric. I always seem to wake up like this and it was always so hard for me to sneak out. I gave myself a few minutes to watch him sleep before I pulled myself out of his embrace and I quietly started to dress, picking up the discarded clothing from the floor. With one last look at him, I went back quietly to my apartment.

* * *

 ** _I was very conflicted about how to write Valeria during the war games. Originally is how I wrote it - she gave up the flag to Eric._**  
 ** _I thought about her fighting him for it which was going to be an epic fight but I somehow wanted to show how loyal she is to her mentor._**


	29. The Bet

**_Yeah, I know I know. But here it's the new chapter. I haven't forgotten you. I'm not stopping writing either._**

 _ **So here it is. Enjoy.** _

It was quite early in the morning, waiting for someone to answer me. I wasn't sure what pushed me into doing it, even after I was told how bad of a person I was, but I started to make it the same day the news broke and by the time I considered otherwise, it was already ready.

The door flung open and the smile that Shauna had on her face quickly disappeared the moment she saw me in front of her door and replaced it with annoyance.

"What do you want?" she asked sharply. "Did you come here to apologize?"

I pressed my lips into a thin line because I knew that she wouldn't get the apologize she wanted out of me. I still didn't see the point in doing so. I knew I could have asked nicely but it wasn't in my nature.

"No"

"Than I don't see a point in talking" with that she started to close the door.

Quickly I slapped my hand on the door preventing it from closing.

"Look" I started and pulled out a small glass bottle with greenish liquid in it. "I'm not going to apologize but take this" I offered it to her but she didn't take it. Her eyes were glancing from the bottle to me and back as if she wasn't sure what to make out of the situation.

"What is this?"

"Just, drink it and try again with Zeke," I said softly pushing the bottle into her hands. I hated that I had to plead for her in order to help her.

"I don't understand"

She was confused and I didn't blame her. Who would expect something thoughtful out of me? People here didn't know what I was capable of doing and they wouldn't understand why I act like the way I do and still try to help people when they need it.

"Nothing to understand." I shrugged " Just drink it, it barely has a taste, at least that what I was told. Put on some nice lingerie and try again with Zeke. All I want in return is for you to give me a blueberry muffin once you're sure it worked"

She looked at me dumbfoundedly and a small sign of hope crossed her face when she looked again at the small bottle. I know she didn't believe it that this small bottle could give her the thing she wanted. I had a hard time believing it myself but the recipe was old and used multiple times, not by me, but my grandma and other women. They said it worked so I had to believe it.

"But…"

"Just do it, there is nothing you could lose, only to gain" I shrugged again and started to walk down the hall. "Just remember! Blueberry muffin"

And just like that, I left her at her door.

The dining area was filled with more chatter than usual. There was some kind of excitement in the air all around the tables. You would think it had something to do with Eric winning the War Game but it felt different than that. Sure, he'd been a pain in the ass. Bragging about how he won, how he came up with the plan to use me as his spy and of course bragging about his protégé. God knows he didn't need his pride growing but I should have thought about that before I gave him the flag. Not that I complain.

By morning everyone in the compound knew what had happened. There were the usual people who were in bad mood about their loss. Sulking in a table far far away from the winners.

"What's with everyone's mood today?" I asked as I sat on the table next to Mike. He offered me a smile that reached his eyes, something like pride showing on them too.

"Congrats, on your first win. Even though you were not on the right team"

"Well, thank you"

"As for the why everyone is excited – it's because today is the end of stage one" he explained immediately draining the color of my face.

"What?" my head shot toward very smugly looking Eric, even he was happy today and something was telling me it wasn't because of his recent win.

"Today is the end of stage one. Soon Max will show the board" he repeated his satisfied expression still on his face and I knew why he had it. He was still the one that had say in the final score and of course, he knew what the final score was. Which said nothing good about me, since he was smiling like he already won.

"You know who won didn't you?"

"Better get used to the fact that you'll have a new tattoo soon" he smirked, raising his cup of coffee as a toast.

"It's not fair, you have the last say" I pointed my finger at him, but he was unfazed by the accusation.

"You should have known not to bet with me" he shrugged casually taking a sip of his coffee but his silver eyes never leaving mine.

"Damn it!"

"There, their sweetheart you'll learn not to bet with the devil" Mike patted me on the back, while I still watched Eric in disbelieve.

"Are you seriously saying that the arrogant boy got the first spot?" I asked "He looked so smug that was easy for someone to beat him"

"Yeah, but no one did" pointed out Eric "You see, I told you that I was more experienced in training initiates."

Shaking my head I murmured under my breath "Unbelievable"

The excitement chatter stopped suddenly and all heads turned toward Max, who stood tall on the open balcony overlooking the dining area. Behind him was the board that was going to reveal the ranking of the initiates, forever sealing their fate, were they staying or were they going to be factionless. I wouldn't want to be in their place right now. Worried about their faith, about their position on the board. They still had two more stages to pass before they truly feel safe and I could feel the tension rising in them by the way their bodies stiffened when they saw Max.

"Stage one is complete" Max's voice echoed through the now silent room, which is usually never that silent "Those who are on the last nine spots were going to be factionless and are required to leave the compound in an hour, if not they would be removed. For those who are above the last nine will continue toward stage two."

As he moved from the board the names of the initiates started to appear. Transfers and Dauntless-born together were listed with the correct numbers next to their names. Happy cheers of the passing initiates broke the silence, and sad sobs broke from those who didn't make it. Strangely Finn somehow made it. He was on number five but still made it and I couldn't be happier to see someone as shy as him, make it through.

"I'll be waiting for you in the tattoo prior, in an hour" I heard his voice in my ear, his breath on my neck and it took me every ounce in my body not to lean back toward him but there were so many people here, and even though they were too distracted by the board, I couldn't express that kind of affection. Not just because we were in public but because there was nothing between us.

"Fine" I groan and turned back toward the table, while Eric strides away from the dining area with a confidence. His ego couldn't grow higher than it was now. "I'm going to regret betting with him, aren't I?"

Mike pressed his lips but I could see he couldn't hold the smile off his face "Oh, yeah. Don't worry he wouldn't go easy on you"

"He never does"

I heard him snort beside me, barely holding his laughter "That has double meaning to it"

"What do you mean?" I narrowed my eyes at him, not sure if he knows about the 'one night' stands we had with Eric. I wouldn't be surprised if he knew. After all, he was friends with Eric and he was ex Condor who easily could read people.

"Nothing" he shook his head, trying to look like he wasn't just caught knowing something he shouldn't have. I was still squinting at him not sure how to react to his reaction.

"Okay then" I pretended like I believed him and turned around once again toward the board. The name of the initiates that Eric pointed out was mockingly sitting on the first spot, beating even the Dauntless-born below him. I was very far off. The boy I bet on was on number three spot and for that now I had to get a new tattoo.

I was passing a strangely dark corridor on my way to the tattoo prior. I wasn't happy with the way things turned out and I have to say that I learned my lesson. I knew the moment we started to bet, that it wasn't a good idea and I ignored the screaming in my head telling me not to do it and I did it anyway.

Oh, how sweet it would have been to tattoo his back with flowers, hearts, butterflies, and rainbows. But now I had to face the fact that I was getting a tattoo which I might not like, forever. It would be foolish of me to think that he would have any kind of remorse or mercy for me and get me something I would like, even though I'm very picky about my choice.

I thought that even if he desired to tattoo flowers or hears I would hate it just as much as he would.

Suddenly a hand, coming from the darkness, gripped my shoulder and pushed me into the stone wall. The push and grip weren't hard but damn it, I let my guard down and now someone was attacking me. I quickly brushed off the hand, coming back to my senses, ready for combat. Gripping tightly the attacker's wrist I twisted it back.

My attacker let out a small weep as I twisted his arm even more on his back causing him to drop on his knees. Whoever it was, it was very foolish and brave of him to sneak on me like this.

Before I could think of my next move a pair of hands grabbed me from behind pulling me from the first attacker. I trashed into the grip, the second person was strong but not strong like Eric and I might even guess it was a woman. A quick elbow to the guts loosened his grip on me. The attacker grunted and stepped a few steps back, clenching his stomach.

That gave me time to quickly pull out a small knife, meant for flying, out of my jacket's inside pocket. A movement that I was so familiar with that I could do it in my sleep.

I pulled the still grunting figure toward me, his back against my chest and the sharp knife against his throat.

It happened way too quickly for either of my attackers to understand what happened, a trick that I was very thankful of Eliot for teaching me. Be always prepared for an attack and move quickly.

"Wait!" I familiar voice yelled, her voice echoed through the corridors. My eyes finally adjusted to the darkness, focusing on Christina breathing heavily with her hands raised in surrender.

Just then I registered that I was holding a blond in my hands, who was too breathing heavily but cautiously with the knife on her neck.

With a quick move, I dropped my hand, pushing Tris toward Christina. She tripped slightly before she regained her step and stood next to Cris, who was rubbing her he shoulder.

With the knife still in my hand, pointing at them I made a step forward. They both were looking at me with shock in their eyes as if I was going to kill them here and now. They might as well be right, they just attacked a leader and I was furious.

"What the hell do you think you are doing?" I snarled at them. So foolish of them to think they could attack me and get away with it. Making a step forward the both made a step back.

"Gee Val, we just wanted to talk" spoke Christina my eyes darting toward her the minute she opened her mouth. I was still making my way forward and they were still making cautious steps back until their backs hit the wall.

"Talk, is this your way of talking? Pushing me into the wall? You just attacked a leader, do you get that?"

It must have been the way I was approaching them with the raised knife, maybe the murderous look on my face, that made them looks scared of me as they should be. Christina's face went white as I stood in front of her, the blade just inches away from her neck. So easy to make one swift motion and end her life. She had nowhere to go, nowhere to move and even if she tried, she would be dead before she could do so.

"We…we just wanted to rile you up and talk" she stuttered as she looked at me.

"How did that backfired, didn't it?" I smirked at her, throwing a sharp look at Tris who was frozen in her spot. So much for that Dauntless bravery. Maybe she didn't have any. Maybe because I was somewhat of a friend she didn't tackle me to the ground or maybe it was because she just knew that I was capable of slighting Chris throat with one swift motion if she ever thought of doing something.

"Look, we just wanted to rile you up a little bit for the way you betrayed our team at the games" spoke Tris as she saw that Chris was watching the blade pointed at her neck like she was scared to speak.

"Very foolish"

"We were just not happy, okay?" Finally found her voice Chris "To just give up the flag like this to Eric."

"And why not?" I asked rhetorically "Do you really think that people in the real world, in a real situation don't have alternative motives? People will say and do things just for the sake of staying alive or gaining something. You're very foolish if you think that everyone plays by the rules and obeys every order. Take it as a lesson from me, because you still have a long way to go before you understand that nothing it is what it seems to be"

"I bet the reward was worth the betrail" she snarled at me.

"Chris" warned her Tris beside her, shaking her head.

"It wasn't a betrayal Chris." I moved closer to her, boring my eyes at her as I kept the steady blade on her neck. "So tell me, do you have something else that doesn't please you about me or should I just get on my merry way?"

We looked at each other for a long time before she shook her head.

"Let that be a lesson for you. I don't appreciate people sneaking up on me. Next time you might not be so fortunate to live." I withdraw the blade but still didn't tucked it back in my jacket as I made a step back. "Someone will find you later for your assignment for attacking a leader"

"When I said an hour I meant an hour, not half an hour later." Snaped Eric at me the moment I stepped into the tattoo prior. I was still pissed and I wasn't in a mood for his snarking comment or the lost bet.

"I got held up."

"I don't care, I figure you will be more punctual, considering your previous mentor and such"

I grinned my teeth. He could be such an ass sometimes – outside his apartment.

"Yeah well, I'm sorry I got ambushed by Tris and Christina because they were not happy of my 'betrayal'" I raised my voice at him and I could see the change in his expression, from mocking it became serious and I even might think it was a concern.

"What happened?" he asked sharply, sounding more like an order. His eyes were lingering all around me, searching for some indicator that I was hurt.

I shrugged "Nothing, they both had a knife at their throats and I want them to be punished"

A faint smile formed on his lips before he nodded. "It'll be done."

"Oh, you two again. Who's the looser?" came out of the back room Tory, her eyes moving from Eric to me. Eric smirked beside me and pushed me toward the chair giving her the answer. She looked shocked before she laughed shaking her head.

"I told you not to play with fire"

"Yeah well, I learned my lesson"

As I sat down on the chair a little bit uneasy, looking around the prior, Eric rounded the chair and leaned toward Tory who prepared her equipment. I heard him whisper something but I couldn't hear what he said. It was enough for me to see the devilish smile on his face as he gave the instructions and that just increased the uneasiness. I was screwed. God knows what kind of stupid tattoo he thought of giving me.

Tory nodded her head and turned toward me, her lips were pressed into a thin line and I wasn't sure if she was sympathetic or she was trying not to laugh.

"Find me in the bar, when you're finished" Eric spoke, patting my shoulder before he made his way toward the door. Stunned I averted my eyes from the door and looked at Tori.

"Am I going to regret it?"

"Yes," she nodded quickly. "Now, get your pants down"

"What?!"

"You heard me, come on, be a Dauntless, pants down" she ordered more firmly and I just stood there, gaping at her. Taking a deep breath I started to unbutton my pants, cursing Eric existence. He was going to pay for this! I promised myself as I prepared for the tattoo.

Eric

The end of stage one was considered celebration among the initiates. One step closer to being a full member but not close enough. Probably most of them won't make it after stage three, some might die, some might give up. But for tonight everyone was celebrating and the bar was filled with initiates and members who too were celebrating, even though their celebration was more of an excuse to drink than anything else.

Sitting at the bar, while nursing a beer I waited patiently for Val, pretending not to listen to stupid conversations around me. The boy who got me the win in the bet was bragging about his first spot and I almost wanted to lose the bet so I wouldn't sit here and hear his annoying talking how he was the best.

"Where is Val? I thought you went to the prior" Mike sat beside me as he looked around for the familiar redhead.

"Still there"

"So what kind of tattoo you chose?"

I smirked "The kind that will make her come running here with thunder and fury" he laughed beside me shaking his head like he didn't expect anything less from me. I wasn't going to give her something she liked, so she could admire it for the rest of her life. I wanted to give her something that forever reminded her how she lost the bet and to whom she lost it.

"So what's up with you two?" asked suddenly Mike, making my head shot in his direction.

"Excuse me?"

"Oh come on Eric, are you a thing now?"

I averted my eyes toward the bottles that were sitting on the other end of the bar. I definitely hate the subject that he picked up. "Just sex Mike" I didn't have to look at him to know he didn't believe me. He snorted into his drink but stood silent.

The truth that I didn't want to admit to him or even to myself, was that I screwed up. I screwed up big time. For some reason, I listen to Mike and now I was in deeper shit than ever was. 'Sleep with her and move on' he said 'you will get her out of your mind' he said. Now neither have I moved on nor did I get her out of my mind. The constant 'one-night' stands didn't help me either and all I could think of was her spread naked on my bed. The soft moans she makes constantly haunt me. And I find myself unable to just move on. Every time I have her I always craved more and she made sure of that as she always disappeared every damn morning just before I wake up. After that it was the same, seek her out or she me, mindblowing sex and her gone by first light. Sometimes I think she would be there when I wake up but she never was and I didn't understand if that made me feel better or just disappointed. But like some unspoken rule, it was always the same, every damn time, so there was no point for me to think it might be somehow different than the last time.

"Sure, keep telling yourself that"

"You were the one telling me to just get her out of my mind!"

"Yeah, and where did that get you? Now you're with her regularly." He dared to smirked at me. "Tell me, have you been with someone else?"

I opened my mouth to say yes when the reality of the situation hit hard and I closed my mouth in defeat. I was definitely not been with anyone else than her and as awful as it sounds I didn't mind it one bit. Which only proved how deeply I screwed up.

I sighed and rubbed my forehead. The fact that Mike was laughing at me wasn't making it any better. I had to ask myself 'how the hell did I found myself here?' My friend was making fun of me, not that he wasn't in the past, but now he had more ammo against me.

"You have it bad my friend"

I scoffed "Sure…"

"Still in denial I see. You'll come to your senses"

"I'm stopping listening to you" I warned him, taking a sip from the lost forgotten beer in my hand.

"Why, you listen to me and now look where you are"

I threw him a sharp look, nothing, where I'm, is good.

"What, you going to tell me you don't like where you are right now?" he insisted. Growing I took a deep sip.

"We are changing the subject"

"Good, because there is a current redhead that just entered the bar, looking quite furious and her eyes are searching no doubt for you"

As I turned around toward the entrance my met with the said redhead, whose eyes were frantically looking at every person in the crowd before they landed on me with such fierceness that might shake the weak with fear. She started to push her way toward the bar, her eyes never leaving mine as if she wasn't looking I might disappear into thin air.

I knew she wouldn't be happy with her tattoo. That was one part of why I wanted to tattoo her just that because she wouldn't like it and it would be a reminder of why no one dares bet with me. The other part was somehow more wicked and somehow unexpected. Why I chose the spot and this particular thing, I didn't know. But I liked the feeling of knowing that it was there, marking a spot where I had been and if anyone else saw it, he would know.

I had to smirk at her expression as she stood in front of me, her eyes blazing. I half expected for her to pull a knife on me as she did with Tris and Christina when they attacked her earlier but all she did was smack her hand on the bar, catching a few questionable glances, and looking at me as if her glare could kill.

"Of all the things you could have picked. Hell, even a flower or butterflies would have been nice, you chose that?!" she raised her voice. I heard Mike snickered beside me. He didn't know what I've chosen but he might have guessed it was not smoothing she liked, judging by her reaction. It wasn't meant to be liked.

I shrugged, which only infuriated her more. Sometimes she could be so calm and collected as me, bringing more fear than when she was like this, with emotions all over the place.

"Are you serious?"

"That's permanently so I am serious"

"You marked me!" she yelled which made my smirk bigger. Oh, yes I did and I'm feeling very smug about it. "It's not funny you dumbass! How dare you! What you think you'll be the only man there, so that gave you the reason to mark me?!" she wasn't yelling anymore, she was hissing lowly.

"It wasn't meant to be liked"

"Yes, I know that." She said, "But still, your name on my inner thigh?"

Beside me Mike choked on his drink his eyes wide with realization before he composed himself, shaking his head and murmuring something under his breath ending up with '…it bad'

"I definitely want to see that later"

She forced a laugh "Yeah, not happening!"

I lifted my pierced brow in question "What you're denying me sex because of the tattoo?"

"Yes," she said proudly, lifting up her chin "I know you want to see it and I'll not show it to you"

I tried my best not to look like she had me there with her statement. My face stood naturally as I stared into her eyes. She was bluffing.

"You won't even make it until tomorrow before seeking me out"

her laugh ringed again "Why makes you think you will be able to resist me?" she dared me as her face came closer to mine.

"Wanna bet?"

"Oh, no I'm not betting with you again. I learned my lesson"

"Why you scared you'll lose again and here I thought you're a Dauntless? Where is your sense of adventure?" I mocked her, knowing that she would break under my gaze and words and bet with me anyway.

She snorted "I know when it's smart to retrieve and not dive head first into things"

"How very Erudite of you to think everything before you act" my hand slightly slip toward her waist pulling her body, between my legs, closer to mine. I felt her breath hitch from the closeness. I didn't care who might see, I wanted to break her showing her that she couldn't win this or any other argument with me, even though she might be the only one that was capable to oppose me in such way and have a chance to win. "You know how no one will want you when you have someone else's name on your thigh" I whispered my lips ghostly touching the ink on her neck. One of her hand was slowly placed on my shoulder like she wanted to stable herself.

"Was that what you wanted?"

My lips trailed up leaving small wet kisses on the way to her ear, burring my head in her red curls. Kissing the spot behind her earlobe where I knew would make her take a deep breath, fighting a moan, I whispered "Maybe"

The same hand on my shoulder tightened its grip on my jacket, making me smirk of how easy it was for me to get such a reaction from her. I had women reacting like this but it always felt like it was fake or acted out, just to get what they wanted. With her, I liked it more than anything because I knew it was genuine and even though she still wanted what every other woman did, she wasn't faking it to get her way.

For the first time in my life, I felt challenged. Not just with work-related things but in my personal life too. She wasn't easy, she always made sure I didn't get what I wanted so easily. Always challenging me to earn it somehow and now wasn't an exception. I knew sooner or later she would break because she couldn't stay away from me just as much as I couldn't stay away from her. Both stubborn as we are, we like to challenge the other with stupid bets and games. No matter how stupid it sounded I couldn't help but like it, feeling excited and thrilled to play every time because I knew she would give me a fair fight.

"Now, since we established that I might be the only one left in this faction that it's willing to satisfy your needs, because my name is on your thigh, lets go to my apartment so you could show me the said tattoo" I whispered seductively as I could feel her melting in my hands. Totally caught up in the moment of breaking her stubbornness I totally forgot about Mike or any other person that might be sitting close, being a witness to this.

But the world just seemed to stop when she was that close, breathing heavily, gripping my clothes for dear life and the feeling of my nose buried in her neck and hair, smelling the apple scent. So strange, red like strawberries to have a smell of green apples.

She slid her cheek into mine before our eyes met. She was smirking and I knew I had her. Smirking myself I felt her lips on my ear before one simple word made me freeze on my spot. "No!"

She whispered it so sweetly and seductively that sounded like 'yes' but her making a step back, out of my grasp, only proved how wrong I was to assume that the smirk was her braking under my touch.

She kept smirking, leaning closer to me, her lips ghostly hover over mine "You're not getting any today, or tomorrow… or the day after that. You think you can kiss my neck and make me forget everything?" She shook her head "Give me more credit than that Eric. And here I thought you knew me" she kept shaking her head while she straightened her back and with one last smirk she started walking away.

"You'll never last long Valeria!" I warned her my voice following after her. She swiftly turned her red curls bouncing on her back as she smiled with the most daring smile I had ever seen before she spoke.

"Neither will you"

With that she turned once again, disappearing between bodies, leaving me stunned watching the spot where she had gone. She was definitely someone who I couldn't underestimate and I was most defiantly challenged. Turning around toward the bar, still stunned by her playfulness rejection I rubbed my forehead.

"Just sex huh?" Mike chuckled into his cup.

I was screwed.


	30. The Mission

**_Here's the new chapter! Thank you all for continue reading!_**

 ** _Enjoy!_**

It had been one week since the initiates finished their first stage of becoming a full member. Stage two was nearly at its end. I kind of got used to seeing depressed and zombie-like initiates roaming the corridors, jumping at every noise that was higher than a whisper. It was amusing and depressing at the same time. The quick change in the scoreboard didn't go unfazed by anyone when a few low ranked initiates jumped higher and some of the higher ones went down a few spots.

One week since the unfortunate night where I lost a bet to not so pleasant person, whose life mission was to make me miserable. Sticking with the dare I made that night I kept my distance from Eric but that didn't stop either of us to tease each other when we had the time.

It wasn't easy for both of us, with our stubbornness, things were even harder. No one backed down, no one broke under the teasing comments and little touches. It crossed my mind a few times to just give up and get what I wanted but then I saw in front of my eyes the smug expression that Eric made when he won something and the thought quickly disappeared, replaced by a determination to make him brake instead. Maybe it was my imagination, maybe it was not, but I could swear that sometimes I could see the hesitation in his eyes. One quick moment where he actually considered my offer of retrieving early from work, before the mask was once again up, immediately followed by the smirk that said 'nice try' and all my chances of winning, this unspoken dare, went in the drain.

"So how is the tattoo, is it healed yet?"

Looking up I saw the same smirk that was running in my mind just a few seconds ago. Standing in front of me with half risen cup of coffee, like he froze midway toward his lips, just so he could tease me with the question.

I narrowed my eyes at him before I answered: "Yes it healed, very nicely I might say." Smirked myself seeing his eyes darkening "Such a shame you won't be seeing it anytime soon. Tory really did her best to write your name in such a beautiful manner. " I leaned my body over the table getting closer to him so I could whisper the last part "I drag my fingers every night when I think about you in my bed in the dark"

He clenched his jaw his eyes locked on mine like in some kind of trance. I could literally see the passing images of me in his eyes as he swallowed hard before he cleared his throat and taking a sip of his coffee.

"I would think you would prefer my lips there, but since you like your fingers I'm not complaining" he tried to shrug it off, finally after he composed himself but it was clear that I had the upper hand in this teasing session.

"God, you too just get a room"

The spell between us broke the minute Mike spoke, dropping his heavy body beside me. I instantly sat better myself even though I was watching very closely Eric's reaction. Oh, how bad I wanted him to break. It would give me no better satisfaction to win something against him. But the emotions that ran through his face just a second ago were masked quickly when Mike spoke. He was too cautious to let anyone see he had any other emotions besides nothing.

Mike glanced between the two of us, probably catching the tension in the air and spoke again when he saw that no one was going to say anything about his remark. "So how is it going with the initiates?"

"Bad. You should see their fears. I covered for Four a couple of times and it took me every ounce of not laughing"

"That's very mean Eric. What were you laughing at my fears too?"

He shot me a sharp look as if he was warning me not to speak out of term. His quick change of emotions sometimes was infuriating. "Your fears are significant. They come from somewhere, real scenarios." He said "Their's are outrageous. I mean clowns, spiders or even hights" he said smirking no doubt thinking about Four.

I shrugged "Everyone has their fears. You're not an exception too and I still don't know what are your fears"

"And you will never know," he said sharply.

"I figured" I muttered before glaring down at my meal.

"Well next week will be stage three and then they will be full members" broke the unexpected silence Mike, who as usual was a way to chipper early in the morning than he should be.

"Will I oversee their final testing?"

Eric just nodded before they started to talk with Mike about a subject I was vaguely familiar with and to be honest, didn't even care so I just focused my attention on eating my meal as my eyes scanned the dining area.

The initiates were cramped up together on one of the tables - transfers and Dauntless born. Since stage one was over they were more closely together with stage two, so it was only natural for them to form friendships. I wouldn't let myself find friends if I was them, you never know who might get kicked out by the end of the next week, but they didn't seem like that was bothering them at all.

My eyes landed on one particular table where everyone was smiling and laughing at something Uriah probably said. It had me thinking about how they seemed happier when I wasn't sitting with them or were they always like that, just I haven't noticed it since now? Zeke and Shauna, in particular, seemed very much in love as they were, happily smiling at each other, holding hands from time to time below the table. I hope it helped. Maybe it did help, that's why they are so happy but then where was my blueberry muffin?

"Valeria"

My head jerked toward the voice calling my name. Max was standing next to the table watching me strictly and annoyed and I just then registered that he must have called me for quite some time now.

"Yes?"

"I expect for you to be at my office when you finish your meal" the way he said it sounded like an order. Even though Max was above me, he really sounded like he was ordering and when he does you know it is something important.

"Something wrong?"

"We'll talk in my office" he answered cryptically and nodded before he left. I followed his leaving body walking between the table before he exited the room.

"Do you know what that was about?" I averted my eyes to Eric who looked just as clueless as I was.

"No idea" he shrugged and continue to chat with Mike, immediately picking up from what seemed to be where they left off.

My mind, of course, didn't leave me without wondering what could possibly be wanting Max that sounded so urgent. A lot of different questions popped into my head. Once again I started to think ahead of time like I was going to predict what he might say or want form me. But the only thing I earned from this was unanswered questions and stupid predictions that might not be true. But I did it anyway because it gave me a false sense of security and helped me to 'prepare' what was to come.

A half an hour later I sat in front of Max, in his office, with Eric by my side and of course, I wasn't prepared for what he wanted to talk to me.

"I want to send you on a mission" he spoke calmly his eyes locked on me. I was very calm myself but once he spoke the words I couldn't keep the slight feeling of excitement flutter in my heart. "You see, we had a mission where we found factionless base but that was simply not enough information for us. I know that I told you then, that I will send you to gather more information only when I'm sure where I need to send you and now I know."

He shifted a couple of papers on his desk before he picked one and offered it to me. As I took the piece of paper I immediately understood what it was – a map of the city. It wasn't a very big piece of paper but it was enough to identify the most known buildings in the city as well as some of the streets. Some of the buildings were marked with a red marked, no doubt pointing out the said basses.

"I want you to gather as much information about the big one that is marked on your map. I also want to install a couple of cameras there, since the ones we have aren't working. Probably broken so we wouldn't see what they are doing. I want you to be unseen by anyone."

"What do you think I might find?" I asked my eyes glued to the map in my hands. Eric was leaning in his chair his eyes scanning the map too, no doubt memorizing it.

Max shrugged "That's why I'm sending you"

"You still think that no one is smuggling weapons out of the compound?"

For a quick second, Max looked like he was offended before he facial expression became hard "This is a very serious accusation you are making yet again. Do you think I wouldn't know if someone was leaving the compound with weapons?" the question was rhetorical but that didn't stop me from nodding and answering.

"Yes. I can smuggle weapons out and you wouldn't even know it."

He shook his head "Val, we have cameras in every corner and patrols at every exit point"

"Cameras and people are easy to manipulate." I shifted my attention on the bookshelf next to the desk as if I was looking at the books but I was only giving him time to speak. When he didn't I continued " Then from where the factionless have their weapons. Surely Erudite can't provide them."

"Valeria" he raised his voice, immediately catching my attention. "I'll not tolerate for you to question my authority or involve another faction into this"

I opened my mouth to argue with him, even when his posture and sharpness in his voice said it wasn't negotiable, but a rough hand squeezed my leg stopping me from speaking out of turn. I quickly glanced at Eric who shook his head slowly, giving me a warning look which I knew so well.

"I'll prove you wrong," I said quietly averting my eyes from Eric and down to the map again.

"I hope not but if you do I'll apologize then."

"So when are we leaving?" spoke Eric. Max looked confused as his eyes shifted toward Eric, he couldn't see the hand that was still on my leg, squeezing it slightly as if he was stopping me from doing something stupid.

"I thought it was clear. This mission is just for Valeria"

"No," he said lowly. I could feel his whole posture stiffened beside me.

"Eric it's not negotiable." Max shook his head "She'll be going alone"

Eric chuckled but there was nothing humorous in it "Not happening. I'm going with her"

"Not happening. I'm going alone" I said sharply. I was starting to get angry at him for trying to invite himself. I didn't need a babysitter nor did I need any kind of help from anyone.

"Like hell you are!" he looked at coldly, pulling his hand from my knee and placing it on his instead.

"Have a little faith in me" I laughed "I'll do a better job when I'm alone. I don't need to think about another person to cover for, to look after, to compromise with. I have a better chance of getting the information we need alone rather than with someone else."

Something in the way he looked at me told me he wasn't backing out without a fight. I wasn't sure what to think of it and I surely felt angry because he wouldn't let me prove myself without him looming over me.

"I have faith in you but I'm not letting you go that close to their base without a back up"

"Eric" Max spoke breaking the intense eye contest we were having with Eric "I agreed with you the last time when we didn't have enough information but now we do and I have to agree with Valeria this time. She'll be able to perform her job better when she's alone. I believe that she will. As for the backup- that's why I let you come into this meeting too."

"So what, I'm her backup? I'm going to sit here and wait for something to go wrong and then go after her?" with that he was already standing up from nerves pointing angry fingers at Max. It felt like the last time we spoke about this kind of mission. His reaction was very similar to back then. Then I kind of understood why he reacted like that – it was suicide mission then, but now there was a bigger chance of me succeeding so there was no point of this reaction.

"Yes," said Max sharply obviously not happy about Eric's raised voice. "That's what I expect of you, because that is your order! Have a little faith in your mentee that she's well taught and that she can succeed in this mission without you." At the word, 'order' Eric's shoulders slumped but his posture was still stiff, ready for a fight. Although he knew better than to keep fighting. He gripped his hand in a fist bringing the strange urge in me to reach out and try to calm him down like he did but I stood glued to my spot, watching his reaction.

"Unbelievable" he finally spoke.

"Sit down Eric, the meeting is not yet finished!"

There was think tension in the room when two powerful leaders stood in front of each other. Both fighting for the upper hand in the argument but no one backing down either. Sooner or later everyone in the room knew that Eric would back down just because he knew the authority here, in front of him, was bigger than his. And he too as same as me, will back down from the sharp look on the superior's face and fallow the order given to him.

Feeling like an hour later Eric finally let out a loud huff and sat down obediently but definitely not pleased as his hands were gripping the armrest of the chair so tightly that his knuckles went white.

"Now, how long do you think it'll take you?" calmly addressed me, Max, averting his sharp look from Eric and looking at me instead.

"One week," I said immediately. "Let's say and a three days after that. Of course being there longer I'll gather more information but I don't know if I could manage more than that"

"Okay, week and three days. If you haven't returned by then Eric will track you down and find you"

"Fine by me" murmured Eric, standing up suddenly. "Now that this is decided I'll leave" With two quick strides he was out the door before either of us could speak or stop him. I waited for the door to shut behind Eric before I turned my attention to Max. He had shock expression on his face his face, probably unsure how to react to Eric's outburst. I didn't blame him, even I didn't know how to react to that. Should I get angry or get flattered? Was it a concern that caused him to act like this or just the fact that he wasn't a part of the mission? I was the one that has to prove herself not him.

"Two weeks" I spoke breaking the silence, that fell in the room since Eric's exit. Max averted his eyes from the door and his shock was replaced with confusion.

"What?"

"I need two weeks," I said confidently now that Eric wasn't here to object. "I need more but two weeks, for now, is good"

"Why are you telling me now?"

I snorted "You saw how he reacted. He'll flip if he knew that I want two weeks before backup. It's best if he doesn't know right now for how long I'll be gone"

Max leaned back in his chair, scratching his chin as if he was thinking something that required his attention. His eyes though were looking straight at me, slightly closed like he was trying to figure out something. My instincts immediately kicked in, hiding my emotions of what he might be searching for, behind a mask.

"Do you know why he reacted this way?" he finally asked and for a second I thought he might suspect something. Even though there was nothing to suspect, nothing to hide I still felt like I was interrogated under his tense gaze, that my first instinct was to stay calm, deny and lie.

"Beats me," I said shrugging "I'll leave tomorrow is that okay?" Quickly changing the subject. His posture softened and he seemed like he left his suspicious aside, at least for now.

"It is." He nodded "Take anything you need. Ask Four to give you a couple of cameras and brief you how to install them, if you don't know how. Place them where you see fit and beneficial. I trust your judgment. Also ask Four to give you one of the gadgets that will help you reach Eric and call for back up, take one for him too. Do I need to remind you that no one should know about the mission?"

I shook my head, understanding why this mission needed to be kept under wraps. No need to scare and panic the people for nothing.

"Also-" he continued but I could see that the subject he was about to open was not very pleasant for him. " If by any chance you get caught and you can't be saved without risking more lives, I'll pull the back up. I'm not going to risk more people for the sake of retrieving you or your body. I know it sounds awful but I hope you understand that sometimes it's needed to sacrifice one person for the sake of the others."

It was the cruel truth that I knew all too well, but that still didn't stop the distress that I felt. It was always nice to know that if something happens to you, help will be on its way but I also know that not every time you can be helped. Sometimes you can't just risk more lives just so you can save one person who may or may not be savable.

Swallowing the lump in my throat I nodded. Praying that I would never get to a place where I couldn't be helped. My eyes locked on Max's. I didn't blame him, I understood him well. In his place, I would have probably done the same, but that didn't make my situation sounding any better.

"I knew you would understand," he said quietly pressing his lips into a tight smile. "Dismissed"

Early on the next day, with a backpack on my back filled with the basic things for survival, plus the cameras that Four gave me yesterday with quick tutorial how to install, I made my way through the quiet compound toward the exit. My heavy boots echoed through the corridor as I zipped my black old jacket hiding the dog tag around my neck and part of the leadership tattoo. My hair was pulled up in a bun, never mind the few stubborn locks that fell from the tight bun and into my eyes. Wearing all black I looked like I was ready for combat and I was thankful no one was up yet to see me leave.

As I turned around a corner one more time I mentally started to check if I had everything. Weapons were strapped around my body and hanging from pockets inside my jacket. From guns, stars to the dagger that Eliot gave me.

No matter how many weapons I had on me, I felt nervous and my mind kept repeating Max's words that he said earlier.

I was almost at the exit when I noticed a big figure leaning on the wall. The only light that was above the door barely lit the black figure but the blonde hair was very much visible.

"What are you doing here?" I asked once I stopped in front of him, knitting my brows at him. It was way too dark for him to see my expression but I made sure my voice was extra laced with annoyance.

"I'm here to make sure you have everything you need" he spoke calmly and collected but somehow it sounded like he had something else in his mind. If I was someone who didn't know him that well I would say he was here to make sure I had everything I need. But I knew him and it sounded awful like he just wanted to say goodbye even when his ego didn't let him admit it.

"I have everything"

"Weapons?" I patted my jacket where the weapons were tucked in. He nodded before he pushed himself from the wall and opened the door leading outside. "Come on, I'll walk you to the barrier"

I didn't object, just nodded silently and walked outside with him.

It was still dark outside when we stepped out of the door, a few lamps were leading our short path toward the barrier. The sun wasn't even ready to peak out of the horizon yet and I knew I had at least one or two more hours of darkness before the city wakes up.

We walked in silence until we reached the barrier. Two guards were standing on a post with their guns in their hands. They quickly turned toward the sound of us approaching but averted their attention back toward the street when they saw the two leaders.

I hesitantly turned toward Eric, who stood tall next to me, his eyes nailed on something beyond the barrier. He wasn't looking at something, in particular, he was just too deep into his thoughts. His hands were inside his pockets and he looked so casually that it was hard for me to see the fierce leader now, he looked more like he always does inside his apartment, when he doesn't suspect me watching him.

"Well, see ya soon then," I said quietly and turned on my heels. I took two steps toward the exit when I felt a hand grabbing mine in a tight grip as he made me turn around and look at him.

"Be careful, okay? If anything happens, call me immediately and I'll find you" he spoke every word slowly and calmly that there was no doubt in his eyes when I looked at him, that he would come if I needed him. It made me think if he would disobey an order if I called him for help. Would he stand against Max, risk his life to save mine? It seemed like I was thinking too much into his words but I couldn't deny the look on his face, the way his eyes were piercing into mine the same way when he was ordering me something, but softer now. Rawer, determined and full of emotions.

His hand gripped my wrist tightly like he was pushing me to answer him quickly. I couldn't help but feel slightly overwhelmed by his emotions "Of course" I barely said with a tight smile. I turned slightly toward the guards but his hand was still holding my wrist tightly not letting me go and I could see that he wanted to say something else but the words never came out of his mouth. He clenched his jaw like he was fighting an internal battle, I waited for him patiently, giving him time to say what he wanted to say, but he just stayed quiet. With a faint painted expression on his face, he loosened his grip on my wrist and let his hand drop on the side of his body.

"Don't kill any initiates while I'm gone, okay?"

Ghostly smirk formed on his lips "I'll try, but I'm not making any promises"

I small laugh escaped me as I shook my head and I started walking toward the guards, pulling my big hoody over my head- hiding my face. I didn't turn, once I was out of the compound but I could swear I felt his eyes on me for a long time.

By lunchtime, I was already sitting on my post hidden in the shadows of the buildings. I rounded the base a few times, seeking a suitable place to install the five small cameras that Four gave me. I have a few spots that were perfect – hidden and at the same time captured a lot.

I sighed as I watched the entrance to the factionless base, I was watching through a darkened window of an abandoned building, just right next to the base. All is left now was to watch. Watch who was coming, who was going, what they were carrying, what they were leaving with, how long the guards stood on their posts, what time they change with other guards.

Patients, patients was everything in this waiting game and I know very well that not all people could just sit and observe not moving for hours, maybe days. Be so still that they become part of the build and the shadows that were covering it.

My only concern was for their patrols and I hoped they didn't cover the building next to the base. With my heavy boots and the broken glass on the floor, I wasn't very stealthy. I even might have to take care of the guards if they ever did get close to me and I didn't want that – I would attract attention to me.

A few days passed observing. A few days without much sleep. To be honest, how could you sleep when you're so open? Every little noise startled me from my sleep, eyes open and ears listening for footsteps or voices or something that might endanger me. It was nothing of course but that didn't calm my nerves.

That day, or rather night I moved through the buildings. They were sometimes so close that I was able to jump from one window to the other or the roof for that matter. I moved quickly but quietly installing the cameras to the places I thought were the best. I didn't show myself on the cameras, they were one more thing I had to watch out for not to catch me. I didn't like people seeing in the command center back home what I was doing and tracking my movements.

And more days passed with the same rout of observing. Guards come and go, guarding something inside that by the looks of it was very priceless, maybe stolen guns. On one day an Amity truck went through the big doors, filled with food and everyone there looked happy. Who could blame them, they were probably starving as I was. I had food but I ate very little just to fulfilled my hunger, nothing more. I didn't have the luxury to have a full stomach.

One particular morning got my attention. I awoke from the sound of an ignition working. Slowly I looked up through the window watching as an Erudite bus pulled up through the door. A man in a blue lab coat exited approaching the guards. They spoke briefly before the man got on the bus again. The door to the base opened and the vehicle went inside. Without giving it a much thought I sprung to my feet and out through the room, the backpack on my back. I sneaked through the empty and ruined corridors of the old building making my way toward the roof. From there I jumped into the roof of the base sneaking quickly toward the small door there. So stupid to leave the door open and how easy it was for me to go inside without no one noticing me. I found it a few days back and I entered their base just once before. I didn't want to risk someone finding me so I didn't explore too much.

My heard was hammering in my chest from the adrenalin as I sneaked through the stairway down to a small metal walkway that overlooked the entire open base below. There were creates, sacks and guns. People with different color clothes were swarming around talking, guns in their hands like they didn't feel safe even in their own base. I'd taken the risk to install a camera here too. It was barely visible even by me and probably invisible to a person who didn't know it is there. It didn't show too much of what was actually happening below but it was enough to give a clear picture and I was very proud of myself for that one.

Crouching down on the floor, my eyes scanned the area. The Erudite car stopped in the middle, the man in the coat exited again with one more blue coated man. The first one had a clipboard in his hands as he looked down on it. Another man with black pants and white shirt approached him, walking with straightened shoulders like he owned the place, he was probably trying to intimidate the Erudite but it only looked ridiculous to me. He was probably ex-Dauntless judging by his buffed figure and the tattoo on the side of his neck.

They talked in semi-hushed voices, enough for me to hear them talk but not to understand them, looking at the clipboard when the buffed guy waved at three men. The ran toward the bus, opening the back door and pulling out four containers. I immediately stood on edge. What was Erudite doing with the factionless? I held my breath when the buffed guy opened one of them, I couldn't quite see what it was but it was liquid, dark liquid. I squinted, trying to make out what it was.

I would have probably never known if not for one of the factionless that was helping with the containers tilted one of them and burned his hand. The mud looking liquid spilled on the floor making the people around him take a cautious step back as if they were going to get burned. The container remained stable but some of the liquid was wasted. They guy was clenching his burned red hand and my heart stopped knowing what exactly it was. Of course, the burned guy didn't live long. The buffed man got irritated. Just before he put a bullet through the man's skull he shouted enough for me to hear "You fool!"

The bang echoed through the base as the burned man lifeless body hit the cement floor covered in the poison. He wouldn't have survived, either way, the bullet was a mercy for him.

"Don't waste more of it or I swear I'll end up like him!" Snarled the tattoo guy as he pointed at the corps with his gun "And I don't want to lose more men because you are not careful. There is no antidote so don't touch the damn poison!"

A smile formed on my lips. Good, they didn't have the antidote. Maybe Erudite did but they weren't stupid to give them to a bunch of factionless. I really hoped that that wasn't the case, I still liked to believe that I was the only one in the possession of the antidote. Me and a secret closet in the infirmary where it was stacked for safekeeping in case of emergency.

The question now was, how did the Erudite know about the recipe? God knows they didn't need something so powerful like this poison in their hands. Make me think what else they had? There was probably a few more thing that would be worst than this and I didn't even want to think about them being in Erudite greedy hands.

There were fainted steps behind me. That made me come back to my senses moving quickly back and toward the stairs. I was quiet but slow barely breathing as the footsteps approached me. My heart started to hammer in my ears and my hands started to sweat through the fingerless gloves. I was itching to pull out the dagger and stab the approaching person but I knew better. A dead body would attract attention. Attention meant sweeping the whole building, probably finding the camera and sweeping the area around the base and I couldn't have that.

I rounded a corner just when the footsteps got closer. Quickly I climbed up the stairs but I felt uneasy. I didn't hear the footsteps behind me anymore. Gulping the limp on my throat I froze for a minute, listening. There were footsteps but were slow, cautious like mine. Damn it! Someone might have seen me.

Ignoring my racing heart and the adrenaline that was pumping in my veins, screaming at me to just bolt out of this base and run like the wind, I made my way up and out of the door. I cringed as the door made a sound. Fucking door! I cursed in my mind as I bolted, rounding the same structure where the door was. There was no time for me to run and jump on the next building and hide, he'll see me and raise an alarm.

With my back glued to the stone wall, I tried my best to calm my breathing. My ears listening sharply as the metal door creaked again. Slow steps crunched on the gravel covering the roof. He made a few steps then stopped, probably looking around when he resumed walking. Slowly I listen as he approached and everything in me was screaming to get my dagger or gun and kill him but the rational thought in my brain was telling me 'no'. I stood, hidden as he approached. His shadow came around the corner before he did. The sun wasn't high yet but it was enough to cast a shadow over the gravel and I was thankful that I didn't have one, hidden behind the wall.

I waited and it felt like forever before I saw his rifle around the corner and his hands holding it tightly. Quickly I caught the weapon pulling it down and up again. The handle went up hitting the man straight in between his eyes. His body fell hitting the gravel below with a loud thud. I threw him a quick look, he was knocked out but not for long and it won't be long before someone else came. I cursed and moved quickly before more came. I didn't waste time as I ran toward the next building. I needed to hide somewhere. I vaguely registered what that meant for me. I shouldn't have been seen, now they would probably search for me.

Jumping from one roof into the other, quickly getting down the flight of stairs and jumping through a first-floor window I ran quickly a few blocks away from the base. I rarely stepped onto the empty streets afraid that I might be a bigger target in the open streets than the buildings but not every time I had the chance to slip between buildings easily. Trying not to get detected by Dauntless cameras I settled down in one of the buildings trying to catch my breath. Slipping the hood off and leaning my head back toward the wall I closed my eyes trying to slow my beating heart.

It was close. I didn't want to think if I staid one more minute what would have happened. I could only imagine what would happen now. They would find the guy. That, of course, will raise an alarm, so far so good for being stealthy. I only hoped they wouldn't sweep up their base and find the camera. No doubt they would track it down to Dauntless but I doubt they would do something stupid to attack the compound. They could sweep the area too with was a problem for me since they might find me and I wasn't ready to go back to the compound with the information I had. I knew I could get more, I just needed more time.

The room soon fell into darkness as the city started to sleep, I tried my best to relax, eat something and wait a day or two before I could get closer to the base and spy again. The paranoia, though, didn't give me the chance to sleep or not for as long as I wanted. My ears were picking up every little noise coming from outside. I closed my eyes again trying to catch up a few hours of sleep but I was startled by I noise from downstairs. My eyes flew open. I must have drifted off because the noise was getting close.

Two sets of heavy boots were walking on the floor below, stepping on broken glass and concrete. They were walking slowly with caution, probably unsure of what they would find in the abandoned building. My instincts quickly kicked in as I stood up from my spot and slowly stood just next to the doorway, the door that was there was probably long gone, my back was closely stuck to the wall as I listened carefully.

With the room and the whole building in darkness, it was hard for anyone without the proper equipment to see and even my eyes that were used to the darkness were enabled to see the further corners of the room, so the next best thing in this situation was to rely on my ears.

The first set of boots was starting to slowly go up the stone stairs, so far I didn't hear the second set of boots but that didn't make me any less comfortable.

As I stood in the darkness patiently waiting for the person to come to me rather than show myself, I tried my best to keep my quickened breathing in order and calm down my fast beating heart. The adrenalin rush once again took over me and it took everything in me not to pull out my dagger and just rush out that door and stab that man. But I had to stay put, I knew that that would only draw more attention to me. I'd to just knock them out and find another safe place, worst thighs worst I would kill them, but I hoped it wouldn't get that far.

The person slowly was checking the rooms next to mine. I could hear him making a few cautious steps inside them and then back to the hall. I waited as I heard him just in the threshold of my room and I waited in the shadows. His big figure entered the room failing to see me next to him and it was all too late when I suddenly grabbed him from behind and got a good grip on his throat. He started to struggle tensely against my grip as I tightened it, even more, impatient to get the job done and move to the next one. He tried to pull my arm from his throat but I could feel how his movements became more sloppy form the lack of oxygen. I have to say, the fact that a girl like me could easily make a grown man like him struggle with that grip was laughable. Their lack of training was making the job way too easy for me. But what did I expect, some of them were probably from Erudite or Condor, and they've never held a gun before more or less fight.

Just when I felt his body getting limp in my hands I heard steps behind me. I turned around just to see a dark figure as he hit me with the back of his gun. My vision blurred as I cursed myself for my lack of cautious. Just before I could do something the handle connected once again with my head making my vision go black.


	31. The Mission 2

_**Drops it *runs away quickly***_

* * *

Strange uneasiness filled my body as I was sitting down in the dining area. Everyone else would go on their normal day to day tasks with no care in the world for what was happening outside their safe compound. I had the unfortunate knowledge of knowing just that and the fact was making me uneasy or it was that what I wanted it to be.

The people around me didn't see right through the tough exterior and the stone mask that I'd put on but the uneasiness and the stress were there, making me sit put in one place more than a few minutes, impossible.

My leg was jumping up and down below the table from the anxious feeling stunk in my gut as I was scanning the room for what must have been the tenth time this evening. I was desperately waiting for something to happen. For Max to burst in through that door and give me the order to go after her, for her to burst in through that door perfectly fine as she makes her way toward our table to sit down and joke with Mike, for her to burst through that door all bloody and half alive but still somehow managed to come to safety. But none of this happened and it only increased my anxiety.

I even barely registered the strange looks that Mike and Jack were giving me from across the table. Sometimes they were just too good at reading me and I didn't like that one bit. It made a situation like this a lot harder on me than they should be.

"You seem tense" finally dared to speak Mike after long minutes of staring at me and calculating if it was worth pointing out or not.

"Why would I be tense?" I snort back at him but my leg was still jumping up and down below the table. My body was so tense ready to jump up into action the second something came up.

"Pff…I don't know. You haven't stopped observing the area for a few days now, your leg is shaking the whole table, spilling my water and you keep talking to Max in hushed voices even though I can hear you arguing with him about something" he ranted and he picked up his glass of water just before it spilled. "Where is Valeria by the way, I haven't seen her in two weeks?" He looked around like he might have missed her and she could be just sitting on another table but she wasn't here and he wouldn't find her. Two weeks, it'd been two weeks since she went on that mission, no one knew about, except me, Max and Four. Other asked, of course, no one answered with more than a few words. Some think she might be doing something important, other think that she was sick, some even think she was dead but no one was actually aware that she had gone doing a mission and it might not even get out of there alive. She might even be dead and Max still wouldn't give me the order to fallow her. It was pointless to lose more people just for the sake of bringing back a dead body, was his exact words when I brought up the subject. He reassured me afterword that she agreed to this without a second thought, he then patted me on the back telling me how I had to have more faith in her and give her more time to return. If she ever returns.

"Working" I only said. The worst thing was that, that was all I could think of. Not the initiates and their upcoming final test that would determinate who would stay and who would go would occupy my thought more than Valeria and her stupid suicide mission. And I hated it, I hated the fact that I didn't know what was happening with her. No one has seen her in the stupid cameras she put up for us, Max hasn't heard from her since she put the same cameras. I even went as far as ordering Four to show me the footage. The cameras were mounted on the spot and the shot didn't even pick up who was mounting them – just one minute everything was dark and another there was a perfect view of the street in front of their base. Four knew who was the one installing them, after all, he gave them to her and kept his mouth shut about it in front of the others.

"Where?" narrowed his eyes, Jack, as if he was suspecting something. He was fairly quiet for the past two weeks since she was gone. His eyes always watching like he was waiting to find an answer to my expressions or emotions but he always found nothing.

"Somewhere." I said sharply "Haven't you understood that I won't answer those questions?"

He averted his eyes to the food in front of him and didn't speak more for the duration of our lunch. With the corner of my eye, I could see Mike smirking at me and I was happy that we weren't alone on this table because no doubt he would try to taunt me about Valeria.

Suddenly I stood up from my chair startling the other two occupants.

"Where are you going?" asked quickly Mike following me with his eyes as I started walking out of the room.

"Somewhere"

My inability to do something was driving me crazy and I didn't know how long it would take me before I snap and just go after her.

.

I burst in in the control room, scaring off the people working there in the process. I wasn't here for a couple of days when I search for some evidence that Valeria was fine, but she was like a ghost. Not a single camera she placed there or any of our other cameras were able to pick her up.

Four was launching on his chair, a pen in his hand making an awful clicking sound as he watched the same cameras Valeria installed. Four was the only one here with the special order to watch those cameras. Apparently, he was 'trustworthy'.

"Seen anything?" I stood behind him, my eyes scanning the monitors, which showed streets and one in specific showing the inside of their base. I don't know how she managed that, but it's very useful so far we were able to pick up a lot more information on the enemy than before.

"Yes, just a few minutes ago I saw a figure moving through the streets but I'm not sure it was her," he said, straightened up his back before he started typing something on the keyboard. Intreagued by Valeria's sudden appearance on the cameras I leaned on the desk my eyes scanning the monitor.

"Why didn't you tell me the minute you saw it?" I asked a little bit irritated but tried to make it sound like I didn't care.

Four shrugged "It was just a figure dressed in black, walking in the shadows of the building in a hurry. No one was following the person so there was nothing really to tell" I took a deep breath trying to calm myself when Four spoke again.

"There," The video played for a while before the dark figure went into the frame. The person was making big strides alongside a building where the shadows cast from the sun, were making enough cover and darkness from unwanted eyes. The person was wearing a black hoody over their head and his face wasn't visible, but I knew it was her. The backpack was the same on her back and if you watch just close enough, you could see a single red lock going out of the hood and shimmering into the light.

"Just that?" I asked not hiding my irritation and disappointment. I wasn't sure how to react to this. I felt relieved that she was fine just a few minutes ago and there were no visible wounds on her but at the same time I was worried, because she was caught on one of the cameras and that was unusual. For two weeks she was nothing but a ghost until today and I couldn't help but wonder – what changed?

"Well, there was an Erudite car entering the base this morning. The camera inside couldn't quite pick up what was delivered and by lunch, we picked this figure on the camera." He answered as he told me one more thing I wasn't aware of.

"Why would Erudite deliver something?"

Four shrugged as he typed a few times on his keyboard and the live feed turned on again. "Was that her?"

"Yes, it was," I said sharply straightening my back and glancing once again at the cameras. "Did you report the car entering the base?"

Four glared at me with the most offended look I'd ever seen on him "Of course, what do you take me for?" he huffed.

'An idiot' was my best answer but I swallowed back the sharp remark as I started walking out of the room. "Report if something changes," I said before I exited the room and headed straight to the training room.

I had a pent-up frustration that needed to go away and the helplessness I was feeling was making the matter even worst. I was so close to just packing up and finding where she was and just get her out of there but at the same time I stood obediently and waited to be ordered to do so.

My fist connected hard with the pushing back, letting out all the frustration. She was fine, there was no need for me to rush into it, if shit got crazy I would go. Another punch went at the bag and another one followed as I repeated in my head like a mantra that she was fine and there was no point in going after her.

.

After the long training session, I was calmer than I was at lunch but the stupid uneasy feeling in my gut was mocking me still. I made my way to Max office desperate to see what he thought about the Erudite car. I knew that Valeria had some issues with them, concerning the poison that nearly killed half Dauntless but that was all just a theory and I didn't want to point any finger without evidence.

Knocking on the door I waited outside before I heard Max's voice from inside telling me to come in. He was slumped on his desk buried with paperwork for the upcoming initiate's last test.

"What do you want?" he asked but there was a hint in his voice telling me that he didn't have time for whatever it was. I sat down slowly on the chair in front of his desk and kept quiet waiting for him to look at me but his head was still down. "If you came for one more argument about searching Valeria my answer is still no," he said sharply.

I stayed silent watching him scribble something on a piece of paper before he sighed and looked up.

"She has been spotted early today" I monotonically informed him.

"Good now you'll stop bothering me. I'm telling you even if she's in trouble there is a chance I won't order you to follow."

My jaw tightened from the way he said it like he didn't care and it took me everything from arguing. Gripping the armrest of the chair tightly I replied "I know, you said that before"

"So if that wasn't the thing you wanted to talk to me, what is it?"

"About the Erudite car. What do you think they were doing there?"

Max shrugged so calmly that made my irritation with him grow. "We'll know once Valeria is back. The camera didn't pick up what it was, but I'm sure she knows"

I shook my head as to how ridiculous this was. Here I was nervous out of my mind, for some reason, about what could possibly go wrong with Valeria. I didn't like the way I was feeling and I had the sneaky suspicion that it was starting to show, which made me more unhappy. And here it was Max, all calm and collective like he didn't send one of his leaders on a mission. Our job was taking risks and make the city whatnot better but it was still so unraveling to sit and wait for something to happen.

The door to Max's office burst open pulling me from my thoughts as Four came barging in. "They are sweeping the area around their base, I don't know why but I think it has something to do with her hurrying early today. They waited until sunset to act." my head quickly shot toward Max waiting for him to just give the order.

"How many are they?" he asked still as calm as ever.

"At least five teams with four people each with weapons"

I cursed under my breath "Max!"

Max leaned back in his chair staring aimlessly at something so deep into his thought he might not have heard me. "No" was the only thing he said making me jump on my feet.

"What?!"

His eyes left the spot on his desk and looked at me with a determination on them "I said no Eric, I'm not giving you the order"

Anger was quickly filling every inch of my body, my hands were into fits griping tightly. "For fuck sake Max, I can go alone and still be better than the factionless."

"Yes and they have the poison that nearly killed you" he shot back, his eyes daring me to continue the argument.

"I'll take the antidote from the infirmary"

"No, you're still entering their area. One of our leaders caught is a problem but two can mean war and we are not ready for something so drastic." He placed his hands on his desk slowly but confidently he stood up, making his authority in this room known. "We still don't know what kind of weapons they have, how many are they. I'm not sending you or any groups with you to attract more attention to yourself, Valeria or Dauntless. Am I clear?!"

I laughed bitterly "And how will you get the information when you'll have a dead spy?"

He just shook his head "I'm not giving you the order, she's smart and she will escape them. You'll only attract more attention to Dauntless and her. They'll get suspicious of why we are spying and this can quickly escalate toward a war we are not ready for, just because we sent a search party in their area, for a person who may or may not be dead. Don't get me wrong, I don't like it as much as you do but she agreed to this and she's more than capable of handling it" this time he was calm as he sat down his chair and looked up at Four behind me. "Report if anything else happens"

Four must have nodded because the only sound that came behind me was the door closing. I pressed my lips, still feeling the anger pulsing inside me. Everything in me was screaming to just go and disobey but I knew better- there would be consequences the minute I leave the compound without the authorization. The question was – was it worth it?

"Don't do anything stupid, Eric." Max said shaking his head "She was taught well by her previous mentor and by you after that. I'm certain that she'll return without a problem"

Not wanting to speak with him anymore I stormed out of the office. Once outside the dark corridor I cursed under my breath and leaned my forehead on the cold wall. Everything was so fucked up. While I have every faith in Valeria, considering what she had been through in her past, I couldn't stop the stupid unfamiliar feeling of helplessness that overtook every inch of my body, screaming at me to just go.

And I cursed myself because I knew very well what those pushing emotions meant and I continue to curse myself because I slipped. At the same time I was mad at myself from even feeling that way, mad because I was stuck here and who knows what was happening with her now, mad because Max was too diplomatic and cautious, mad because I knew the only way for this emotions to stop was to make sure she was safely tucked in her apartment or mine.

Squsing my eyes shut I mentally analyzed what everything meant and I was happy that there was no one here to see my breakdown.

"Fuck this" I sharply said before I started walking down do corridor determined to do something I haven't done ever since I came into Dauntless.

Disobey an order.

* * *

An hour later I was already packed and leaving quickly the compound through the barrier. Being a leader no one questioned where I was going or what I was doing. One of many pleasures of being on top.

The device in my hand was working the minute I stepped out of the compound and into the empty streets. The soft glow coming from the small monitor was telling me where Valeria was or more where her device was. It wasn't précised it was a small lead to where I needed to go.

I was thankful for the cover of the night as I didn't want to be spotted by unwanted people. The least I wanted was to make things worst. It was bad enough that I disobeyed an order from Max, it would be worse if I get caught by factionless. I didn't want to think what was going to happen to me once I return but I refused to think about as my mind was going in overdrive from the possibilities that might or might not happen between now and when I find her. I didn't want to even think about what condition I might find her or if I will, for that matter.

I walked for what seemed to be an hour or two before the device in my hand finally showed she was close, I couldn't explain how was it working but I was thankful that it existed. The abandoned building looked very ominous when I approached it slowly. I wouldn't think past the fact that there might be guards around here, after all, they were sweeping the area – for some reason. Placing the device in my pocket, my fingers brushed up the handle of the gun strapped to my chest but quickly thought otherwise. It was too quiet if I shoot the sound would echo through the silent streets and only raise more alarm. So I had to settle with a knife.

I slowly approached the building, looking up toward the dark windows, my ears tensely listened for some kind of noise. I didn't hear anything until I entered the building, avoiding crunching any glass or whatever was on the floor, with my heavy boots. There were muffled sounds coming from a few stories up and I knew I was in the right place when I heard a soft feminine voice.

It took everything in me not to dash upstairs and get her out of here but I remind myself that I needed to be calm and focused on the task, so I wouldn't get killed.

The voices grew stronger as I made my way up the stairs. As I was midway to the floor I wanted to be a shadow next to the staircase caught my attention. Peeking through the railing I could see a man standing between two doors with a gun in his hands. He looked bored, like he wished to be anywhere but here, while the voice inside one of the rooms was probably having the time of his life, judging by the way he laughed bitterly and talked with amusement. For his answer, there were soft moaning, which was not the good kind I was used to hearing.

It didn't take a fool to guess that she was tortured, there was no struggle so I would guess it was nothing that bad but her silence could only mean that she was weak or tied up.

As the 'guard' could be more foolish or just bored he started walking down the corridor huffing and sighing and it was just my luck when he stepped with his back toward the stairs.

Fool. I thought myself as I quickly climbed the stairs and grabbed the person from behind, my arm going around his neck in a tight grip. He started to trash his body, his week hands desperately clung to mine trying to pull it out so he could take a breath but it was useless. As he was so into trying to pray my hand off he didn't see me pulling my knife and sticking it into the side of his neck. He gasped and the sound of his body hitting the floor no doubt caught the attention of the guy down the hall. As on cue, the voice from the room stopped and heavy footsteps slowly approached.

"Curt?" the voice called it sounded somehow familiar but I couldn't put my finger on it. The figure stepped into the long and narrow corridor enough to see me and register that it wasn't Curt. His hands went quickly around his weapon as he raised it at me. In a matter of seconds, I was already in the closest room when the gunshots hit the spot where I was. The shot stopped but the approaching steps only got closer as a low chuckle escaped from the attacker.

I waited for him to be close enough before I grabbed him, more bullets were shot but this time aimed at the floor, thankful that it wasn't my foot. We both struggled for a short time for the weapon before it went flying into the room and the fistfight began.

Just from the way he was attacking and carried himself I could see he was more experienced than the previous guy and I could clearly see Four's technique in it – definitely ex-Dauntless. Getting the upper hand quickly I punch him in the face, he took a few steps back before I heard him chuckle.

"Good to see you too Eric." The voice still sounded familiar but with the darkness around us and his bloodied face, it was very hard to identify him. "What, you came to save your little pet?" he chuckled again as we started to circle each other, while I was being careful where his weapon was and try to prevent him from going near it. "I have to say, she gave me a pretty good fight. A leader too. I was going to be in her spot if it wasn't for you!" he spat blood on the floor giving me a bloodied smile before launching at me. His arms went around my body pushing me at the wall. The impact took the air out of my lungs but I acted quickly elbowing him on the back. He fell with a grunt on the floor, giving me the opportunity to kick him in the ribs. His weak body rolled facing me as I finally looked past the bruised and bloodied face and saw who he really was.

"You lost the post yourself!"

He chucked again "I see you remember me" he tried to stand up but I didn't give him that chance, connecting my boot with his body again.

"How could I not, you were the most obnoxious, greedy fucker I have ever seen getting into first place, demanding leadership" I spat while my boot kept connecting with his ribs and stomach. He tried to escape and cover himself but it was no use. If Valeria riled him up before I came, he was exhausted and already hurt I was the one to finish him.

The bitter chuckle once again came from him "You were so happy to watch me get kicked"

"And now I'm going to be happy watching you die," I said coldly pulling out my gun and pulling the trigger with no remorse.

The minute the bullet hit his head I started walking toward the room where Valeria was in. Entering it quickly I saw her crawling weakly on the floor her hand barely reaching for the gun and before I was able to speak she was already pointing the gun at me.

She was laying on her back, her hands that were always steady when holding a gun were now shaking weakly as she pointed it at me. It was very visible that she could barely hold it at this angle but did it anyway and there was no doubt in my mind that if I was her attacker she would have shot by now.

Slowly I made one step inside the room with raised hands, the minute her eyes saw me she sighed audibly and dropped her hands beside her the gun sliding out of her hand. Her body relaxed instantly. Going closer to her, my eyes inspected the damage. She had one cut on her leg that was bleeding and her jacket was ripped exposing her chest and stomach where more cuts were soaking the thin shirt. Her face was covered with sweat drops like she was running on high fever, her green eyes barely open watching me move but her look was so distant that shook me with fear and I fell on my knees near her.

Cupping her cheek I moved her head so could see what was the problem better.

"Anti…dote" she whispered barely and her week hand was pointing at her bag. It took me only a second before I pulled out the antidote I had on me and carefully lifting her head up so she could drink the dose. "Wounds" she reminded me with a weak voice. Ignoring the small fear that crept in me, telling me that she was dying in front of me and I might not save her, I started to clean up her wounds and apply the cream on them.

"Somewhere else?" I asked as my eyes scanned her body for more cuts I might have missed. She shook her head and tried to stand up. "Whoa…where do you think you're going? Lay down" I ordered pushing her body back on the floor. She scowled at me before laying back down.

"What happened to the men?"

"Dead"

"We should hide the bodies and get out of here" she was starting to look somewhat better but there was still this distant look she had on her face that told me she was not yet in good condition for the walk back.

"I know but you're not okay yet"

"Someone might come" she started to shake her head stubbornly and attempted to stand up again.

"Damn it, Valeria, give yourself a few minutes, let the antidote work. You have a lot of cuts on you" I yelled at her but I knew there was no point, she would do whatever she wanted and she was not one of those people who wait to get better.

"There were gunshots, Eric, someone might have heard" she hissed back. I had to admire her, here she was high on fever, she could barely stand up or look but she was arguing with me about the dead bodies.

"Don't you think I don't know that?" I snapped back "I'm risking mine and yours' life by staying here but you're not in a condition to just walk toward the compound, so just relax for half an hour and we'll go from there" she watched me silently for a minute before finally nodding and closing her eyes. I highly doubted the floor was comfortable for sleeping even though she looked quite well. With a sigh, I leaned on the wall next to her and straightened my legs in front of me.

.

Getting rid of the bodies was not an easy task, considering Valeria's condition. We had to drag the bodies out of the building, through the streets and onto the river bank which was fully covered in plantation. The plan was easy but we had to stop more than a few times due to the fact that Valera was on verge of fainting but stubbornly continue to pull the man that died first. She could barely lift her body and still was able to carry another, something that amazed me and by the time we arrived at the river bank her face was as white as chalk and drenched in sweat drops. She was breathing heavily like she ran a marathon and weakly dropped on the ground beside the man's body.

I was standing watch looking around us for some kind of indication that someone was close, but everything was so quiet. The night hid us well and besides the distant glow of a street lamp in the distance there was barely any light.

The sound of items being shoved into one another caught my attention back to Val as she had her one arm deep into her bag and head barely in it too searching for something. The hair band was barely holding her red hair behind her head, there was more hair loose than caught as it made a curtain hiding her face.

"We have to hurry," I said quietly as she finally found what she was searching and drank the content of a small bottle. She threw me a weak look before pushing the empty bottle into the bag once again and sighting. "We're too into the open"

"Do you think they will be found?" she asked and pointed at the two dead bodies.

"Not until the end of the summer," I answered looking at the small water in the center of the river bed. "No one comes that far anyway"

"Once, that was filled with water, now look how miserable it is"

"Like those guys?" I kneeled down at the ex-Dauntless one and searched his pockets. Valeria didn't answer the question just stood beside me watching my hands as they went from one pocket to another.

"This one gave me a hell of a fight. He was more trained than that one" she nodded toward the one beside her.

"This one was ex-Dauntless"

"Yeah, I figured" she sighed as she leaned back on her hands and closed her eyes in content, the moon shining on her tired face. She looked so peaceful considering where we were and the two bodies beside us and I stopped myself from breaking that little moment of relaxation.

Standing up I pushed the body with my foot as it fell down rolling a couple of times and stopped somewhere but there was so much grass and plants that it was hard really to see where.

"You found something on him?"

"No, they had just their weapons" I picked up the second body and threw it after the first one. Happy with the fact that our traces were hidden and we were alive and almost well I finally turned toward Valeria. "Come on let's go home," I said as I helped her up to her feet. She didn't waste time leaning on me as I instinctively wrapped an arm around her to keep her from falling and we started walking toward the Compound.

It took us more time getting back than it should have but we made it in one piece. The slow and no doubt painful walk to home was spent in silence between us as both of us were too deep into our thoughts to even speak.

I wasn't sure what ran through her head but through mine ran at least ten different scenarios of how bad I'll pay for leaving the Compound.

I disobeyed an order and knowing the consequences and I went anyways. To be honest when I left that wasn't in my mind at all. All I could think about then was how I had to find Valeria, alive, and bring her home. But now as we walked through the corridors, me almost dragging Valeria toward the apartments, it all caught up to me. I was screwed, no doubt. Max wouldn't be happy and I expected the worst from him. I've never pulled such a stunt like this before and for what? Risking my life as a leader to find another leader that might or might not be dead? Was it worth the risk?

I tightened my arm around Valeria's weak frame the only thing I could feel was a relief, relief that she was alive and I knew it was worth it. She was close back then from dying. A few minutes more and she would have been.

The Compound corridors were empty at this time of the night. It was a few hours before sunrise and everyone was still asleep which was perfect for us. There were no prying eyes, there were no stupid questions and I could see the relief on Valeria's face as we walked. I wouldn't want people to see me in this condition too, if I was in her spot.

A few minutes later we were in her bathroom as I filled her bathtub she was sitting quietly on the toilet, her eyes following every move of my hands.

Dipping a hand for the final time in the water to check the temperature I turned toward her. She raised her arms slowly toward me like a small child waiting to be picked up and I quickly caught her, helping her up to her feet.

"Do you need help?" I asked with the most tender voice I could muster because she looked just so fragile and broken, that it made me want to wrap her in a blanket and keep her safe. She nodded tiredly and barely visible. With shaky hands, she unzipped the dirty and ripped jacket, but I could see how much it hurt her when every time she moved, her beautiful face was pulled in a painful grimace.

I helped her with the jacket as it fell on the floor and her bloodied shirt followed after, revealing the cuts that were already healed but still red, reminding me that they needed to be taken care of once she was out of her bath. I ghostly trailed a finger over one of the cuts watching her whole skin erupt in goosebumps. I knew it wasn't from the cold and it brought a small smile to my face knowing that I was the reason.

Lifting my eyes to her face I saw her looking at me with curiosity but we both stayed quiet as I continue to remove her dirty clothing one by one.

Even with all of her cuts, bruises, scars or dirt on her skin I couldn't help but think she was beautiful as my hand went to her side, finger brushing up the vine tattoo and the scar that it covered and stopping below her right breast where the vine ended. She held her breath still watching me, her hands weakly holding mine for stability and she let me have that small moment. She was too strong and yet fragile at times that it makes me want to push her to do better and at the same time wrapt her in a blanket and keep her safe.

I kept telling myself that it was just to help her into the bathtub but my hands didn't leave her body even when she was in the hot water and me kneeling in front of the tub. Here in the privacy of her apartment I could relax and do things I never did before – take care of something like this and I knew she didn't need me anymore as she was relaxed but I just couldn't help myself and she seemed like she didn't mind.

She sighed audibly, her head leaning back in the tub, her eyes closed and relaxed.

"For a second there I thought I'll never be able to take a bath again" she spoke quietly only the sound of splashing water, as my hands moved against her body could be heard. "You have no idea how many times that, that exact same thought has run through my mind"

"Probably many" I answered just as quietly. A small smile formed on my lips when my fingers trailed her inner thigh, more specifically my tattooed name there. Valeria was right, Tori did a good job writing it. The letters where beautifully twisted in more feminine style but were rough at the same time.

"Do you like it?"

I nodded as I kept trailing my fingers through the letters.

"You better be, it's there forever. Probably no one will want me because of it" she joked "I imagine it will be a huge cockblock for anyone that isn't you"

I chuckled "I can see you are much better, now that you're joking" I joked but I didn't like the thought of someone touching that exact same spot.

"Much" she sighed yet again relaxing even more into the water, that now had a dirty color form the dirt and blood until it reached her chin. She once again closed her eyes before she spoke.

"Can you prepare a few things for my wounds, before I leave the tub?"

"Sure" I agreed, way too quickly but stood up anyway, ignoring the pain in my legs from kneeling. "Just don't make it a habit"

She chuckled softly, her eyes still closed "It's my turn to be taken care of, it can't always be you"

"Finish your bath I'll get the things you need. Call if you need help getting out, I don't want my rescuing mission to go to waste if you break your head on the tiles." I was at the door when I heard her laugh again.

"You just want to see me naked when I stand up"

"Maybe" I smirked opening the door and I heard the water splashing behind me as she sunk fully into the water.

* * *

 _ **Damn, he has feelings. Who knew?! O.o**_

 _ **What do you think Eric's punishment should be, give me ideas?**_


End file.
